Breast Cancer Care Forum

Monicanatura - what a great post, I love your last para about it making us stronger. Thanks for that 😊 Evie xx ... View more

Hi Mel and Jillsy Mel - the anxiety worm is a good name for it. In the chat where I lifted that quote from someone called it a "fear goblin" which I also thought a great name. I agree with you, this forum is a great place to chat and share experiences. We are definitely not alone in having the anxiety worm/fear goblin lurking. Jillsy - you have gone through the shock of diagnosis and then surgery, and often anxiety gets worse once treatment finishes and you are no longer seeing doctors all the time. Hugs to you both Evie xx ... View more

Hi Cheryl First of all a big welcome to you to this forum where you will find lots of support and advice. Your story sounds very similar to my own, so I wanted to share in case it helps. I remember all too well my GP saying my lump doesn’t feel sinister but referring me just to be 100% sure, and then being shocked to get the diagnosis of IDC.   I had a lump plus some DCIS plus node involvement, and had chemo, mastectomy and radiotherapy in that order. I was also asked to choose whether to have chemo or surgery first, my team said both options are the same in terms of survival. It was all a bit of a blur but I think I chose chemo first to give me time to think about reconstruction options.   As I had DCIS and the lump and am small breasted, a lumpectomy wasn’t an option. I chose immediate recon with an implant. Surgeons are, as you say, reluctant to do implants before radiotherapy because of the risk of hardening of the scar/implant, but mine was in a Braxon sling on top of the muscle, which is supposed to reduce the risk. Fingers crossed!   It’s good to read Kathy’s experience of how her recon looks and matches, thanks for sharing Kathy. I’m happy enough with my implant, but it doesn’t look the same as my real one, it’s more rounded. I use a prosthesis over my real one to even things up under clothes.   I’m very happy to chat more or try to answer any questions. Sending hugs 🤗🤗 Evie xx ... View more

Catbear - sorry to hear your experience and really hope you get it sorted. I had an implant on top of the muscle - so maybe that has made things easier/different? LunaMuna - if you are looking at implants, do ask whether you can have yours on top of the muscle. Hugs, Evie xx ... View more

Hi LunaMuna Kathy makes a good point about looking longer term. But at the same time it is a very personal decision. I was like you and wanted to wake up with "something" there. I also had to have radiotherapy after my mastectomy and implant. Surgeons generally don't like doing implants (not sure about the tissue recons) before radiotherapy because of the risk of hardening of the implant/tissue round it (google "capsular contracture" for more info) - but it is worth discussing with them. All the best for your next consultation and do come back on here and let us know how it goes, or if we can help more. Evie xx  ... View more

Hi LunaMuna I’m sorry I don’t think I have an answer for you, as I had a mastectomy and implant at the same time, but I wonder why your surgeon won’t do an immediate diep recon at the same time, did she explain? It’s good she has referred you for a second opinion. If that does turn out to be the only option for whatever reason, you might want to speak to ladies who have opted to stay flat, I believe there are many on here and Facebook.  Sending you big hugs. Let me know if there is anything I can help with.  Evie xx ... View more

Hi TypicalMe I've only just come across this thread - I agree that you may find more answers on the surgery thread. I am also small busted and I had an implant at the same time as my mastectomy, mine too was in a sling thing called Braxon and the implant was also a "pre pectoral" one, so sits on top of the muscle rather than underneath it. I went for the implant option because it was a quicker operation and recovery, but it is a very personal decision. I'm happy with my implant, it's more rounded than my real one so I use a prosthesis to even things up a bit and in clothes you can't tell the difference. Happy to answer any more questions. Evie xx ... View more

Hi MoDo First of all I’m sending you a big hug as you go through all this. I totally get where you are coming from. I finished treatment mid 2017 and anxiety hits me still from time to time - I’ve had some counselling which really helped. I think on BCC you can speak to others who have been through it - think it’s called “Someone like me” - I wonder if that would help? Or could you speak to your BCN about specific concerns? You have done exactly the right thing by being very selective in what you read - I kept turning up to my oncology appointments armed with the latest scare story and my oncologist told me to stop reading newspapers and online reports! One of the best pieces of advice I was given was to take one day at a time, or even one hour at a time, rather than worry about what might or might not happen. I’m going to cut and paste a post below that I read on here and saved a while ago which I refer back to often. Hope it helps you too. Your fear is very normal, everyone on here can relate to what you say. But as my saved post says, nobody knows what is round the corner, whatever age they are - of course it’s easy for me to say, not so easy to put into practice! I’m very happy to chat more on here or via private message if you like.   "There just in no way we can have a 100% assurance that this will never come back but we have to believe it won't to be able to move on. We can't spend our lives in fear of what may be as that just robs us of enjoying the here and now. I'm 4 years post diagnosis in March and every year that passes brings confidence, we don't read about those who have gone on to have no further problems, they are off living, it's the sadder stories that get published but that doesn't happen to the majority. My mindset is if I need to deal with it again then I will but for now all is well and that's what I focus on. It does get easier, Cancer won't always be in the forefront of your mind I can assure you"   Hugs, Evie xx ... View more

Hi Delly Thanks for your kind message - good to hear from you too. And good questions about the lymph op, I'm really curious about this. Hope is well with you. Evie xx ... View more

Hi cranogwen1  First of all a big welcome to this wonderful forum.  I’m sorry I can’t help you but I’m really interested to hear more from you or anyone else who has had this op. I had vaguely heard about it but could you let me know why you have been offered it? Or any other info.  I’m sure someone else will be along with advice.  Hugs 🤗  Evie xx ... View more

Hi Jay Thank you for your kind wishes. Mine is a routine appointment for a check over - but every time I go to any appointment I get very anxious. It takes me right back to the diagnosis appointments. I’m glad you had a lovely sympathetic lady for your mammogram, that makes a big difference. I hope you can plan lovely treats for yourself for the next 10 days to keep your mind off the results. Evie xx ... View more

Louise - how did your appointment with your oncologist go? I hope he was able to reassure you. Hope you get the results of the mammogram quickly and that all is good there too.   Jay68 - hugs to you for your mammogram this afternoon. I totally get how you are feeling. I’ve got my next check up with my consultant next week and already I’m getting anxious about it.   Evie xx     ... View more

Jewels994 - first of all a big hug and welcome to this forum, which is a wonderful source of support and answers. I had chemo before my surgery so I can't answer this question, but I suggest you give your breast care nurse a call and she will be able to guide you through your timetable so that you have time to organise a taxi and other things. Evie xx ... View more

Hi Louise That sounds like the perfect way to mark the day, with your special family and some chocolate brownies!  I'm a big fan of mindfulness books/apps. Thanks for the hugs too. Happy to chat on here any time, or privately if you prefer. Hugs and strength Evie xx ... View more

Hi Louise Thank you for your kind words and hugs, much appreciated. I just wondered how you marked Wednesday? Hope you are doing ok.  Hugs,  Evie xx ... View more

Hi Louiseh - great reply from Helena (Ladybowler). You are absoutely not whingeing - I and everyone else on here will relate to what you say. Especially when your sister sadly died from this vile disease - I'm so sorry to read that.    I find anniversaries or going back to hospital for checks particularly hard, so don't beat yourself up or tell yourself off for "whingeing". This forum is a wonderful place for offloading and just being yourself. There is no judgement, just great support. If you can, try to do something nice on Wednesday and turn the date into a positive memory rather than a diagnosis date. I am 2 and a bit years post diagnosis and am still working on that plan, so easier said than done!   It is also really hard to avoid cancer stories in the press/magazines or on TV - on the one hand we are drawn to them in case there might be some useful info but usually it is some sort of scare story. So try to be selective about what you read - again easier said than done but another plan I am working on.   There was a similar chat on here a while back and I saved a lovely piece of advice by Jobey68 and I refer back to this when I have a wobble. I'm sure she won't mind me pasting it here -  "There just in no way we can have a 100% assurance that this will never come back but we have to believe it won't to be able to move on. We can't spend our lives in fear of what may be as that just robs us of enjoying the here and now. I'm 4 years post diagnosis in March and every year that passes brings confidence, we don't read about those who have gone on to have no further problems, they are off living, it's the sadder stories that get published but that doesn't happen to the majority. My mindset is if I need to deal with it again then I will but for now all is well and that's what I focus on. It does get easier, Cancer won't always be in the forefront of your mind I can assure you"   In fact nobody, with or without cancer, knows what is round the corner so we just have to try and live our lives and take each day as it comes.   Sorry, this turned into a bit of an essay!! Big hugs to you - do continue to chat on here if it helps. Evie xx ... View more

Hi Kate Thanks so much for the update, especially as you must be shattered after spending all afternoon there. I'm so glad to read that you have a plan and as a result you feel so much better. The uncertainty and waiting is hard, and I have no idea why doctors think we can make decisions when our heads are just reeling with info and the shock of the diagnosis. Your plan sounds good and I'm impressed that you get nipples thrown in too! I haven't got round to looking into that yet, I always intended to..... You really will adjust to your new normal after the operation. As you say, the best plan for now is to park the thought of the operation and to focus on your fun holiday. All the very best to you. Evie xx ... View more

Hi KMG I hope you had a useful meeting with your surgeon today and got some questions answered.  It doesn't sound at all silly saying that you don't want your favourite breast has to go. It's a loss of part of your body and it takes time to come to terms with. I decided against having surgery to my remaining breast to even them up as I had had enough of surgery/procedures, but again it's a very personal decision. Happy to answer any questions any time if it helps, and wish you every strength for your surgery and a quick recovery. Evie xx ... View more

Hi KMG First of all a big hug to you as you go through all this and have to try to make decisions. So sorry to read that you now have to have a mastectomy. But please do not think that you are a “fraud” in any way, you are absolutely not. This is a place where we can all share concerns/questions and experiences, no matter what diagnosis. I wanted to share my experience briefly before you meet your surgeon tomorrow in case that helps you at all. I am the same age as you, same cup size, a tiny bit shorter and a tiny bit lighter, so our experiences may be similar. I had a mastectomy in May 2017 and an immediate recon with an implant. I had chemo and radiotherapy too. I didn’t have enough fat for a tissue recon but I wanted an implant because of the shorter surgery and quicker recovery. I believe tissue recons look more natural than implants, but I’m happy enough with mine. It doesn’t match the other one, but I’m glad to have something. I use a prosthesis on my real boob to even things up a bit and in clothes you can’t tell there is any difference. Almost 2 years on I would still say I made the right decision for me. It is a very personal decision though and many ladies choose to stay flat, there are plenty of support groups for people who choose that option. My implant is called a “pre-pectoral” implant, which means it sits on top of the muscle rather than underneath it. This is a relatively new surgery, implants always used to go under the muscle. Mine sits in a sort of sling thing, called Braxon (I believe). If you do go down the implant route it is worth asking your surgeon about this option as again I think it gives a slightly quicker recovery time. I don’t know if you have to have radiotherapy too after surgery, but many surgeons warn of the risk of “capsular contracture” with an implant if you have to have radio and therefore won’t put in an implant.  This means a hardening of the scar tissue around the implant. However, I think the Braxon sling helps to cut the risk of this contracture. I said I’d be brief but this has turned into a bit of an essay, sorry, but hope it helps a little. I wish you all the best and am very happy to answer more questions on here or via private message if you prefer. Hugs, Evie xx ... View more

Hi Silvia Thank you so much for your lovely message and kind words, that really made my day. And thank you also for your lovely offer to contact you anytime, I appreciate that. We all have our days when we need support and it’s great to know there are such lovely ladies on this forum. I’d be interested to hear how you feel once you have read other ladies’ stories. Do feel free to send me a private message anytime if you would rather speak more privately. Just try not to feel guilty about your feelings - you have nothing to feel guilty about. Hugs, Evie xx ... View more