Surgery May 2018

[Michelle21]

Oh your poor daughter, luckily kids recover quickly from these things so hopefully she will soon be jumping around again! I’m sure ‘another’ hospital trip was just what you wanted, youbreally cant get enough of them at the moment can you Claire?!
I think the party sounds like a wonderful idea and really gives you something to plan for and focus on. We all certainly deserve to celebrate getting through all of this! X

[cdc1811]

Thankfully the hotel rooms are surprisingly good value Michele! It’s still only an idea but would be good to celebrate!!

On a completely different matter- could have done without the 4 hour trip to A&E this evening with my daughter! She jumped off some equipment at playtime and landed badly then bashed her knee! No broken bones thank goodness but sprained each of the ligaments from her toes and ankle so is now strapped up and on crutches for the next couple of days as she can hardly walk!! I don’t think OH was relishing the idea of having two invalids to look after! Hopefully she’ll be feeling much better by the weekend x

[Michelle21]

Wow CDC that sounds like quite the celebration! X

[cdc1811]

Aagh Just Lost a long post but to précis- So sorry to hear the reaction or should that be non-reaction, of some of the people in your choir. I’ve been saddened by some peoples reactions too. Out of my ‘gang’ of 5 who have known each other since school only one has really kept in contact and I really enjoy meeting up with her. Another wrote ‘always here for you’ in a Christmas card and I had to laugh as I thought ‘No you’re b****y well not.’ Most recently one did message the group on Whatss Ap to say she knew last year hadn’t been a particularly good one for some of us (total understatement on my part) but hers had been great!!!! I’m just really trying to focus on those who do make an effort- I’m intending to throw a big bash when all the treatments over for the people who really have been there for me- OH and I want to hire out the entire hotel where we stayed recently so we can treat everyone to a meal, some dancing and a night away. When we finally got around to getting married in 2015 the only guests were his two older kids and our daughter so I’ve wanted to have a bit of a bash for a few years now - maybe we could combine anniversary celebrations/renewal of vows with a thank you party??!! 🥳 🎉 Good to have something to look forward to.

Sending hugs

PS your daughter’s essay must be an interesting read!!!

[Juliewulie]

Thanks Michelle.
Just messaged you.
Xx

[Michelle21]

Glad your appointment went well, how fantastic that the top surgeon popped in to say hello! I’m not sure I would ever get excited about surgery but hopefully you won’t be too nervous.
Your previous post has been playing on my mind. I keep thinking how sad it is that no one from your daughters class acknowledged your situation. I had something similar with my choir. You may remember we did a fundraiser for the cancer centre I’ve been going to and I put a Facebook post on our site with a link to my JustGiving page which has ‘my story’ on it. The people I sit with already know but not one other member has said anything to me. They are mostly women and many quite mature is it really that people don’t know what to say? Are they embarrassed? Is it easier to ignore it? Maybe they think we don’t want to talk about it? I really don’t know. I do find it interesting what I have learnt about human nature over the last 10 months. I was talking to my youngest daughter last week about this and she told me in her RS A Level she wrote an essay on all people being narcissists!
On a more positive note lots of people have surprised me with their kindness and actually when someone is kind to me I appreciate it so much more.

Juliewulie I have just resent the pm, ignore the Christmas reference! X

[cdc1811]

Hi Again I forgot to say appointment at Marsden went well and was very reassuring to meet my other surgeon and then the head of the whole department popped in to say hi- Ms Fiona McNeill- she’s considered one of the best breast surgeons best in the country! . Kind of her to come and talk to me though she won’t be doing the op herself. So hope the op goes well for your friend Kip. I’m hoping I can turn my nerves to excitement in the next couple of days!! Xx

[Juliewulie]

Hi Michelle
No I haven't received anything.
Xx

[Michelle21]

Thanks Kip and CDC, it’s good to know I’m not alone in blurting it out and feeling foolish afterwards. It’s true there is a stigma attached, sometimes I feel like I have been ‘contaminated.’ We tend to only hear about the bad news stories but there are a lot of people walking around who have been ‘cured’ of cancer, we just don’t hear about them. I love the thought that we are breaking down barriers, warriors marching on!
Juliewulie, I sent you a pm before Christmas did you receive it? X

[Kip]

Hi Michelle,  don't worry I've been there and done that too!   I think we probably all have.  I was in our local bakers with a headscarf on and could see the ladies looking at me (side glances you get the picture) and I just blurted out .." oh I've got BC" and whipped off my scarf to reveal a bald head.   Don't know why i did it, just had to do something, they didn't know what to say.. well one did. she then told me how her sister in law had died from it!! Cheered me up no end...  I wouldn't worry, we never know whats going on in other peoples lives,  who knows he may know someone who has just been diagnosed and was thinking... "wow she's been there and look at her now"... there's no guide book of how do deal with all of this is there.

Glad you got the Karate Kid reference too... always makes me smile... just need to catch a fly with chopsticks now.

CDC - how are you?  Have you had the appt with the hosptial yet?  My friend is having her tummy diep right now... she was very excited last night!!

Kip

xx

[Juliewulie]

Hi Michelle

I did write a message to you  but it's disappeared! I also tried to PM you but also to no avail. By all means you can PM me. I seem to be having probs with computer so you may get this twice!!

Julie x

[cdc1811]

I’m always telling people too Michelle. I understand the embarrassment issue- I’ve felt the same. Posted on my daughter’s Year Group about my upsoming op earlier this week and not a single person said anything (apart from those who know me in person) so I then felt very foolish. However, I’ve given myself a taking too - I firmly believe openness and honesty around taking about cancer can only be beneficial in the long run. I still believed there is a stigma about discussing the big C even though one in two people will sadly be diagnosed with some form in their lifetime. We are breaking down barriers!! Cxx

[Michelle21]

Sorry me again! Re healthy eating I’ve recently bought a cook book called Bosh. I hate the title and it’s a vegan book which I’m not but I like to eat a lot of veggie food and there are some really tasty recipes in there. Just thought I’d mention it! X

[Michelle21]

I just had to come on and talk to people who understand or maybe don’t maybe it’s just me! I’ve just completely embarrassed myself. I was out running in the park and went past a man who I often see and say good morning to. He asked me “new haircut?” To which I replied “yes long story but I had bc last year” I then said “I really just want it to grow because I feel I stand out” I don’t feel like I stand out I don’t know why I said that but realising that I ’d probably made him feel bad I followed with “all good now though” and then I jogged on. I feel such an idiot, why do I feel the need to tell absolutely everyone I have had bc? He is not the first random person I have told but he is the most embarrassing because I will see him again. I’m sure it was the last thing he wanted to hear out on his morning walk. ☺️
Good for you Kip starting your healthy eating/fitness regime. I am back exercising but am really struggling to eat less. I weigh the most I have done in 2 years but have lost 1lb in the last 7 days so I will persevere. I did laugh at your karate kid reference, I thought the same as soon as you said painting the wall!
Jean I do have another appointment booked with the counsellor next week, I think I will make that my last. Partly because I do feel mentally better than I was but also I see the trainee and I’m just not sure how good he is! I think I’ll do the moving forward course in Feb, although will have to miss a week because of the trek but the next one isn’t until April and I just feel ready for it. Do you keep in contact with any of the ladies you met there? Have you been out walking at all? It’s beautiful here today but a bit fresh! Lists definitely rule! I’m back writing lists too. I find it helps to motivate me to get things done and as both the girls are now back at uni the house is very quiet so I have to keep busy otherwise we know what happens, those worry gremlins creep in! Also I think when you are at home as opposed to work you have to be disciplined to get things done, so lists are a winner here! My favourite list is one I wrote on my phone last year and is nothing to do with housework it is of all the places I want to go on holiday and it feels good to start ticking them off!
CDC how did your appointment go with the surgeon go? The Facebook group you’ve found sounds very useful, it’s always good to hear of other people’s experiences isn’t it? Even though ours may be different it all helps with the preparation. I’m sure it will go well for you as they are so experienced at the Marsden.
Well I’m slightly over my embarrassing outburst of earlier, any advice gladly received perhaps I need to sew a zip on my mouth and padlock it!
Have a good day everyone xx

[Kip]

Hi everyone...

Good to hear everyone is starting to make inroads into the next stages of this journey, whether training for a trek, preparing for next surgery or making those lists... it all matters...its the next step forward!  I've started a healthy eating plan this week (well yesterday actually)... trying not to listen to the biscuit tin calling me.   I really need to shift this extra weight, can't be helping my achy joints.   I have been using the hopsital exercise DVD doing a couple of sections a day, its really quite good, very gentle and now I have my pilates ball I can do all the exercises.  Its basically just for shoulders, chest and neck, to loosen, stretch and release the tightness, but seems to help.   Some of the exercisees are similar to the ones I was given after surgery, like walking the finger tips up the wall but they have been pushed further by facing the wall with the pilates ball under your outstretched palm and then you roll the ball up so that it moves down your arm and you do this up and also out to the side at an angle and it really gives it another dimesion... sorry not explained very well but seems to help.  Lots of other little exercises to do which only take a few minutes at a time.  I have even managed to hula hoop and do some arm exercises at the same time!   One is called "painting the wall" and reminds me of the film Karate Kid (not sure any of you remember it)... where you extend your arm out in front and basically move it like you are painting up and down, flexing the hands... really helps my tight forearm! 
Feenix you were right I have my lyphomdeam appt on 18th Jan so still another 10 days, will be glad for an expert to take a look and tell we whats what.   Its still sore when I reach forward and I get a funny twanging feeling around my elbow, although I don't this its very swollen.   How are you doing?   Hows the ribs?

I also managed to get the same brand of Tamoxifen this month so will see if that helps sticking to the same one...so far its not too bad, just the aches (not sure if its that though) and hot sweats during the night but am sleeping pretty well I think, well not any worse than before anyway.

Hope everyone is getting back into the swing after xmas.

love

Kip

xx

[Feenix]

Thanks Clare. Sounds like you’ve found a good group to get info and support about Diep. I’m in the Flat friends closed group which I find really supportive, informative and I know Im not alone in my attitude. There was an interesting interview on woman’s hour today about mastectomy although I didn’t catch the beginning. I might have to catch up with it. I do hope you got as much info as you could at your appointment today and feel informed and confident with your team. 

Kip... hope you’re doing ok. You’ve still got a wait for your appointment with lymph nurse if I remember correctly. Hope work is going ok.

Michelle .. hope your training is going ok. How are you doing in general ... just came to mind you were having counselling. If you’ve continued with it I do hope it is helping. Keep on walking, running and anything else you can do to help as well.

Weather has been rubbish today so I’ve been rather lazy, apart from being round the shops.... I’ve done some ironing !!! 😂 .... Lists rule ok. Got myself a diary with a yearly planner and large enough (a5) to write my lists 😊 

xxx

[cdc1811]

Belated birthday greetings Jean!  I think the lists and daily activities are a really good idea.  It has helped me to have a bit of a routine when I’ve felt low.  I’d love to get in to Tai Chi at some point too,  Sorry you’re side is still sore- I can imagine you must have to be extremely supple for some of the yoga moves on the DVD.  Not sure I could  have attempted some of the positions I’ve heard of even before surgery! 

Michelle fantastic you managed 7 miles and so glad you found someone to Chat with,  Its so wonderful that you’re raising money too.  

Linda- I spent a day in Cairo on a mini-cruise from Cyprus some years ago and absolutely loved it but we did have to have an armed guard at one point due to issues with security,  Have you had any other ideas of places to go?  I’m going to be looking for inspiration as I also intend. To have an amazing holiday once all the treatment is over.  

Kip how are you getting on?  Hope you’ve had a good weekend.

I came across a closed group for people on Facebook who have had or are going to have DIEP surgery.  I’m now feeling slightly less nervous having read their experiences. Also feel better informed about what to expect.  Hopefully my apppont,ent with the surgeon tomorrow will also help.

Sending best wishes to everyone sxx

[Feenix]

Linda .. my niece has just been to Egypt and loved it. I was there 1990 ... I’d always wanted to go. 

Michelle ..  I use the wii fit yoga as a warm up. My side isn’t 100% yet but the stretching helps... at the same time as making it more sore 😂. We were looking at some yoga dvds my OH got when he did some training in India ... I’d have to be uber flexible to do some of the moves. The follow on team here have various things on offer and there’s weekly yoga which I may consider. Pilates is supposed to be good too. Going to get back to tai chi at some point. My mood has improved but think I’m still on a low level at times hence I’m making to do lists on a daily basis and going to incorporate different activities eg. House stuff, me stuff, creative stuff, OH stuff etc. I may then be more focussed, motivated, productive and balanced. Sometimes I just can’t be bothered and I know it’s a mental thing. Maybe I’m in hibernation mode !! Sounds as though you’re doing good...getting out with your trekking group and doing 7 miles ... well done. Good to be able to chat about both your experiences with the lady trekker.

Kip .. hows the exercise dvd going ?

Clare ... hope your appointment goes ok tomorrow.

xx

[Michelle21]

Well done Linda not long now! Egypt sounds exciting, I’ve bever been but would love to see the pyramids!
How is the wii fit going Jean? I’ve never done yoga but keep thinking I should sign up for a class, it is supposed to be great for improving flexibility which I could really do with! I hope the exercising has continued to lift your mood. I googled the wooden rower as I’d never heard of them and you’re right they do look great which solves the usual problem with exercise equipment of where to store it!
CDC good idea having a much deserved break away with your OH. I hope you feel refreshed from it.
We went for a walk this morning with our fellow trekkers. We haven’t met any of them before although coincidently I knew one couple as their daughter and mine were in school together. Generally I think the group are fundraisers rather than people who have been through cancer however I did chat to one lady who confided in me that she’d had BC a year ago. She was quite surprised when I said me too! It was really nice sharing our stories. We walked 7 miles and it wasn’t particularly hilly but I do feel tired now. I really need to work on my stamina but an easy afternoon today I think! I hope everyone is enjoying the weekend xx

[Linda Corinne]

CDC 12 down 8 to go! Not sure where we will go yet. Was thinking of Hurghada Egypt but there was a bomb at the pyramids although not been to the pyramids but did think about going to the pyramids this time. We are thinking about a night away to celebrate the end of treatment first. Am thinking about you!

I mentioned I was thinking about an op in May on my other boob last week at my rad's review and they said to ask re a mammogram in October a year after my op as you have to leave it a while after surgery. I last had a mammogram in March on my good boob so that will be a year and 7 months from diagnosis. The surgeon said he would see me in April which is actually my wedding anniversary to discuss the op for symmetry as am lopsided at the mo.

x