Kip ... love that your mam is knitting a farm. Great you’re feeling well...not so great your drain is like a Klingon and not wanting to leave you. Once you get rid of it your daughter will be much happier, as will you. Your daughter sounds lovely ... hope the boyfriend is canny. Hope your OH perks up soon....It’s definitely hard on them. Nicola Jane bras are popular... I’d maybe wait for the sales !! I’ve sent off for an Asda bra to try but I’ll definitely look on Nicola J website.
Michelle.. always feel free to say how you feel. Kip has put it so well. I know rads aren’t ‘easy’ from what a friend told me when she had them last year, but realise everyone has different experiences. You won’t be feeling so good if you’ve got a cold, rads can be really tiring, the treatment itself and the travelling, you’ve not been out for your usual walk, you’re back on the treatment rollercoaster and they can feel never ending... but you may find some counselling helps you along, Sending you gentle hugs.
Clare ... hoping you had a bit better day
Im on the Moving Forward course next month so will let you know what it’s like.
Hey Michelle, (and Hi to Kip!)
I can remember crying in a room after seeing the consultant, and I was alone then with my BC nurse. I kept apologising and saying I should be able to cope, but I coudln't control myself at all. She looked at me and said 'this is a BIG deal' [the diagnosis], that why we have counsellors who deal with it and nurses who are there to help and guide. Its a tough road, a really tough road, that will push you further mentally than you thought you could go - but you will travel it and come to the other side
Somebody said 'rads was a walk in the park?' - ey - I'd rather have a walk in any park! I guess some people respond better to it than others, some don't have major problems or skin issues or exhaustion - some do. I guess whoever said it may have been very lucky and got away a 'walk in the park-like feeling'. lol Many of these comments, like that one, are designed to encourage you and make you feel better about undertaking treatment, unfortunately when you fail to feel that 'walk in the park' feeling it all feels somewhat more distressing. ( I will add though, there are some treatments that are obviously much harder than others and take an even greater toll on the body)
Oh Michelle dont apologise, you are allowed down moments, we wouldn't be human if we didn't! All the treatments are tough in their own way. Lets face it what is normal about lopping of bits of your body .filling yourself with poison or frying yourself on a weekly basis in a machine?? Surprising we dont have more melt downs actually. I find it hard being back in patient mode at the hospital as it bringx the enormity of it all right back into reality. some counselling may be good, k think. I will ve gojng on the movjnt on course if i can once treatment is finished,
.dont be hard on yourself. Leg fhe tears come if uou need to, sometimes a good cry is what you
need. Big hugs
Sorry meant to say Bravo for reaching the top of Pen y Fan Michelle, go girl. I couldn't climb the top of the stairs without getting out of puff!
Hi Ladies, well done Feenix with the KK.. its coming along, once you have done one its apparently easier (according to my mum, who is currently knitting her own farm!!).
I'm feeling pretty well at the moment, still stiff and a bit sore and still attached to the dreaded drain, no sign of it coming out today either, still draining too much grrrr. Otherwise ok, just trying not to think of the results next week.
Sorry to hear you are feeling so fed up Clare, I'm sure the flamin' steroids will be to blame, rest up and you'll soon bounce back again. I feel I haven't seen my daughter for days, she is too in Luurve with her boyfriend to hang around with her old mum, shes really become a teenager, out shopping, chatting with freinds, make up.. eeek when did that all start. I guess its good she's keeping herself occupied, but she did ask again last night "when will you be back to normal".. what a question to try to answer. She hates the drain and I think that keeps her at arms length too. Hope you little one is ok and your OH is feeling better, funnily enough my OH has been under the weather too, and thinks its a build up of stress and anxiety over me.. It must be hard to watch someone you love go through this I guess. I'll give him a break and allow him to wallow for a while
Regarding earlier the conversation about post operative bras I have asked a friend of mine who had MX 2 years ago and she buys hers from a catalogue called Nicola Jane (on line website). They aren't always the cheapest but do offer all sorts of styles and fabrics. My friend is large busted and finds that when she bends forward (she is a nurse so has to lean over patients) sometimes she would flash a hint of lopsided cleavage and Nicola Jane do bras which have a built in panel to prevent this, worth looking at. She also buys from M&S and Debenhams but N Jane is her preferred outlet. They also do swimwear, clothing and have a range of bras not only for MX but for reconstruction and radiotherapy. I feel some online shopping coming on and I can't blame the chemo brain now! Eeek. Just taken a look at the website and lots to offer. Now where's my credit card.....
...Michelle .. great you got to the top of your climb. Hope you get over your cold soon. Steady away ... hopefully you’ll soon be back to your usual energy levels after rads. I’ve never tried following a crochet pattern... did squares only and sometimes they were a bit Pete Tong. Wonder what my KK will look like when finished !!?? Christmas will soon be here 😊
Clare ... sending hugs... hope you and OH feel much better soon.
This could take some time 😂
Kip .. hope you’re doing ok and not trying to throw your drain out the window... might it be out soon ?
A wood burner sounds lovely and cosy Kip. The KK pattern is easy and I’m plodding on with 2 needles ... not getting very far as I’m not picking it up very often. Hope you get that drain out asap. Keep up with those exercises. Sounds as though you’re doing great. I think I read Mai’s Blog “in the beginning”.
Its been raining/hailstones today so I’ve not been out walking ... hopefully tomorrow will be better.
have a good night
Ladies have you read the blog Life after Lola... mai7 has written it and shes added a link on the October chemo starters page (latest post)... She has some links to sites for bras, i thjnk jn the surgery section... Might be worth a look?
Hj Feenix, my mum knits mine on 2 needles, says its quite easy once you've done one. Well done with the Boudicc a bra. Im still sat in bed with the darn drain attached, ive done the exercises but would be easier without the drajn. My last one had a really long tube so i could sit in the bath and drape it over the side and stand it on the floor. This one is so short it doesnt reach so just makes everything hard! It was a chilly night here to but perfect for firing up the wood burner.. lovely
Kip ... I’m going to try the cotton rich ones from Asda ... when my size is available. I’ll send off for one of the others just to check the sizing. As long as they are comfortable that’ll do me. I’ve never been fussy about bras. Boudicca bra off now... I lasted all day 😊
I can see my snb scar over the top of the side ... my mx was done to join up with it. I don’t find it uncomfortable .. I’m a little bit numbish there anyway.
I’ve started to knit a KK but on 2 needles at the moment, just to try it out. If I can’t find my other knitting needles I’ll have to buy more so I can knit it in one go ie circular.
Very chilly tonight ... winter here we come ❄️ ☹️
Oh dear Sally that's tricky. I have a friend who has had mx jn last couple of years, ill fjnd out where she shops! Everyone deserves some nice comfy undies don't they
Hi Kip ... I’m going to send off for an Asda bra..that one looks good and comfy. I’m wearing my freebie Boudicca bra just to get used to wearing a proper one again and stretch it a bit.. it feels ok.
I hope your aches and pains are improving. Fingers crossed you get your drain out soon.
Cdc... great you’re having your chemo today
Michelle ... hope you’re recovered off climbing that mountain. How’s the rads going?
Lovely and sunny here. A small portion of fish and chips beckon for lunch ... warrants popping along to the seaside with a flask of tea ... nice walk too ... burn off some of the calories.
Hi Sally...I just caught up with the June chemo thread and see that you are going to get your prosthesis. Hope you get it soon and find it’s good. I empathise on the bra side of things and I know what you mean about having the right material. Like you I often see clothes I like but the material is awful ... I too have to feel material. I much prefer cotton, linen, natural materials... hoping I can find a cotton bra. I did wear an m&s post op bra some time after wle and they are definitely odd but it did disguise my missing bit. I tried it after mx but it was rubbish.... going to be donated. I have yet to look at proper bras again .. I’m still in soft front fastening ones. I do wear peacocks crop tops as well and I’ve an m&s secret support vest which is quite firm fitting and works great over the crop tops to keep everything in place, especially when active. Im also going to look at non mx bras and if good get pockets sewn in. Have you had a look at doing that? Your fitting service should do a couple of pockets for free if you can find a good bra that doesn’t irritate your scar. That may be better if you need low sides... or do you need deep sides?
I thought that all women got a bra at fitting but obviously not.
This is the bra I was given by my fitter ...it’s soft, very slight padding, cotton pockets. Out of Woman Zone ... I was given a catalogue of their products... some quite dear which is usually the case. I would have to send off for Nicola Jane bra too ... if I found their sizing ok I’d buy from their sales. They seem to be popular. I agree that it’s not as good as seeing in shop though.
Let’s hope our bra hunting goes well 🤔
Hi Linda. If it’s to do with internal scarring I would suggest keep doing your designated exercises post op... Ask your Bcn when you can do something like Pilates, yoga or swimming if they will help. Scars take up to 18 months to finally settle as it takes that long to heal and tissues to strengthen. Keep on with massage. If you’re seeing your surgeon he’s the best one to ask and get advice. Hope you’re doing ok.
Michelle... hope rads are going ok and se’s are keeping at bay. We have a mix of fence, walls and hedge... OH does hedge too. Hope your training on Pen y Fan goes well 🏔 Those choccie biscuits will have done the trick.
My foob fitter is from North Wales .. had a chat about learning Welsh. She’s done her job for 35 years so I trusted her judgement when trying on foobs. I asked for light and cool. She measures first, then gives you a bra, which you keep, then you try foobs. She tells you how to look after them, the does and donts. As I’m often out and about flat, and went to my appointment like that, she did tell me that even small breasted women over time will can find their posture changing if not wearing foob. She said women can find they start to have trips and falls and it could be due to imbalance. I do wear foob all day sometimes, but did say I would wear foob at least 2 hours a day .. I’ll need to get used to wearing a proper bra again anyway 😂 I’ve started balance exercises just in case ... not getting any younger lol.
My staging is on my Histology reports... just remembered I’d seen it somewhere.
Clare ... my OH was eyeing the mince pies but decided on the mini stollen as a treat as less carbs. Fingers crossed for you brother and cousins results. I know of someone who’s had 3 re excisions after their initial WLE. I think it will depend on size of breast as to how many can be done (?). Pleased to hear you are se free, apart from extremities. Hope you get the go ahead for chemo.
Kip ... Stollen rules ok... I do like it. The mini bites from Aldi are quite nice. Well done on your exercises ... great you are up to shoulder height... keep on going 💪 Pleased you’re feeling good. Hope you get your drain out soon. Will you start rads in about 4 weeks?..... last leg beckons 😊 🌈
Feenix, ive been eating stolen too!! And biscuits... Also doing the exercises, arm up to shoulder height so far! Feeling pretty good at moment.
Cdc glad you are feeling SE free thats a relief and excellent idea to worry about surgery later. Get through chemo first. As for staging etc what is m0?
Michelle good to hear nails return to normal, my thumbs are flaky at the ends.
Looks like the biscuits are catching us all.. yummm
Kip ... pleased you’ve had a good first post op night. Have you started some gentle exercises?Your OH is right ... I always say I didnt know my expiry date before bc, during, and after bc. But I know that its difficult to get such worries out of your head once it’s popped in. ... it pops into my head now and then and I wish it wouldn’t.
I’ve had my foob fitting but she didn’t have my size so will get it next week. I’ve been given a bra, and although I’ve been in anything from b to d cup this one is a c. I’ll probably buy some from Asda 😃
Hope you enjoy your biscuits ... I’ve gone onto mini Stollen.... mmm
Hope everyone is ok this evening
Hi Feenix you are good painting fences! I hate that. I slept ok, hate being back onto sleeping on my back though.
CDC i also have never been given a stage either, come to that i never get copies of anything either. I did ask about my stage on Monday and bcn nurse said then dont really use them here and just go by grade. She said the Onc woukd know though if i was interested, j think id worry too .much. i havent had any predicted survival rates either nor have i looked that terrifies me although OH says nobody knows their survial rate BC or not! I spend long enough worrying ahout surviving at the moment, struggling to get it out of my head. Perhaps a biscuit will help.
Ive taken mh nAil varnish off now and my nails have so many ridges and are discoloured and look like i smoke 40 a day ... Yuck .Might paint them again.
Michelle .. quarter of a way through is great ... your game to relieve the boredom is good memory training 🤔
Kip ... hope you have a good night...
Clare ... keep eating the biscuits.. be prepared 😊 It’s not helpful when the Marsden surgeon was giving conflicting info but if he would want his female relative to have bilateral mx that’s very telling. Goodness knows which country he was thinking of but he should have been giving you advice based on treatment guidelines based in the uk, your circumstances now and your family history..surely?. Ultimately it’s your decision. You have time to deliberate on your surgical treatment and get some insight from your original surgeon. Your numb toes sound quite debilitating. How’s your cousin and brother ... have they had their results? It’s good that your sisters are going to be seen at the high risk clinics and be checked out. Hope your sisters mri will be ok. You’ve got such a lot going on, to think about.
Hope you had a good dinner and a biscuit or 5.
After a marathon fence painting afternoon yesterday, and feeling extremely tired last night I felt really good this morning... thought I would be hobbling. I’ve got a foob fitting tomorrow. I was hoping to be like a spelk by now.. obviously not after the amount of biscuits I’ve had. I need salad. My bcn emailed me yesterday...she’s been off sick for 5weeks so that’s why I’ve not heard back from her.
Great news Kip. It makes such a difference being first on list. Hope you are comfy and drain not too much of a nuisance. Positive vibes coming your way xx
Michelle .. hope rads going ok.
We are back.... Yippee.
Well I'm home and already had cake! Op went well and was first on list... In theatre at 9 and baxk jn recovery at 10.30. And home by 2.30 so very happy. Surgeon was nice he did level 2 clearance and said it shouldnt make too much difference to next treatment as chemo should have done its stuff so will trh to think positively.
Thanks for all your kind wishes it makes all the difference.
Kip ... your OH is right, at least we have found our nastie and it’s being dealt with giving us many many years at the biscuit tin 😀
Hope you haven’t long to wait before getting down to theatre.
Clare ... how are you today?
Michelle... hope rads are going ok
Sally ... hope you’re enjoying your break
Feenix, yes you are right I think ,sometimes too much information can blow your mind, I've not asked or been given any prediction as to outcome, not sure I can handle that either. But actually you reminded me that at my last appointment with my surgeon when we discussed me not having rads to my armpit area (they are only doing breast wall and collar bone, she said that way I can keep Rads to the axillary area as a back up for the future if needed, so you are right, you have some weapons in your artillery should you ever need them, fingers crossed we never need them but they are there. As my OH tried to tell me this monring, we should, in a way, be grateful that we are the ones being monitored for any other nasties, the rest of the people out there could be carrying something they haven't found yet... I guess he's right.. still scary though.
I am 8/8 oestrogen positive too, so should avoid that biscuit tin...but its soo hard isn't it. Just found a bag of haribos....now eating those.. oh dear! Oh well can't eat after midnight to night.. so better stock up now.
Been thinking how you were doing as op tomorrow. Just caught up with your chemo thread and you’ve had good info from your bcn which seems logical and very reassuring. Definitely miraculous that you got her straight away. Stress and the what ifs, wondering, definitely affect sleep. Just part of trying to cope with everything and a reminder of your first op and waiting for results.
I was never given a stage, only grade, and only looked in the bcc booklet to see what I would be but I’ve not looked into that since. I’ve never had percentages re survival either, and I’ve never asked although I did do the old predict in the beginning as wasn’t impressed with my Nottingham score on my first histology report.... that’s old hat these days so I discounted it. I think that in depth information isn’t helpful in some instances as it can have a negative affect. Statistics etc are more for the MDT who have to decide what is the best treatment/s to give. I sometimes wonder at ‘just’ having surgery. I did have a micromet of miniscule proportions but that’s classed as negative but it does creep into my mind that my axilla didn’t even warrant a quick zap. I comfort myself with the thought if anything crops up in that area I can have surgery and rads ... and that the other 3 nodes and intermammary gland were negative (2 extra looked at after mx). If anything has gone walkabout just hope letrozole does a good job. I have to laugh at what I find a comfort these days. As I’m 8/8 oestrogen positive I need to reduce my body fat ... the biscuits really should go but have had a couple already but should burn the calories off as I’m fence painting this morning.
Ill be thinking of you ... hopefully they won’t have you hanging around too long pre op tomorrow.
Clare ... hope you’ve got your feet up. How’s the fatigue?
Michelle ... have you had a break from rads over the weekend?
Morning Feenix, Michelle and the gang...
Hope you all had a good weekend? I have been getting very stressed about the surgery tomorrow but have just had a nice chat with the BCN who has answered some questions for me and put my mind at rest on some issues, so trying to calm myself down. Didn't sleep well last night and guessing I'll have little tonight, have to be at hospital for 7.30 so a very early start too. Just want to get it done and home again. Unfortuantely she did say I'll have a drain again... thought I had seen the last of those blighters, but hey ho, it wasn't too bad I guess just a pain having to carry that lovely floral bag around with me.. so here we go again!
Might just have to have more biscuits to see me through!
Hi Feenix, not sure how the menopause will pan out, can't work out if the hot flushes are chemo induced or hormones or both.. its a guessing game alright.
I am just about to hit the biscuit tin... those digestives keep calling to me. Also have a large bar of chocolate which is just begging to be eaten.. oh when will I be able to stop.. you are right carrots and cucumber...blurghghg!
Love that you name the parts giving you gyp... how long do those se’s last or is that a daft question, like asking how long is a piece of string.
Kip ... sounds right saying your lad is coping his own way with his own support mechanisms kicking in...pleased you’re ‘sorted’. You’d certainly shock his mates with your drain.
It sounds like menopausal symptoms are a big negative. Will they be worse because the menopause is induced? I didn’t have a bad time with the menopause, in fact I had more problems when I was thyrotoxic.
Back is ok just now and then I have a twinge... probably got osteoarthritis... aging 😂
Clare ... hope you’re getting your feet up after your hectic week re daughters birthday celebrations. Sometimes a slice of fresh toast hits the spot. I’ve just eaten the last two 🍪 🍪 biscuits. I’m now trying to think of something else to eat instead...carrots and cucumber don’t have the same appeal however I must do something about my spare tyre !!!
Hope P goes ok today ... another crossed off ... 3rd of the way through
Michelle ... 2 down after today...and counting.
So Numble and TIngle it is! Tingle doesn't get cold but the flippin pins and needles are annoying. Im still aching a lot too, hoping that goes off soon otherwise I will be doubly stiff after the op on Tuesday. I think you are right that my son just tries to do normal things to keep the BC stuff out of his head, he is very apologetic about upsetting me yesterday and for losing his ticket! I did give myself a stiff talking to and thought about how it must be for them to go through this too, they do need their friends and we have sorted everything out now. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter too much in the scheme of things... if his friends annoy me I will show them my drain... that will shock them!
Kip ... 😂 .. biscuits rule ok 👍
Michelle ... my tiredness only lasts an hour or two ... tbh it’s probably exacerbated by age 😂 You're right about stress; and the affects of that may last longer than we think ... probably creeps up when we least expect it. I’ve had a bit of a twang in my back and of course one always has a moment of wondering about secondaries. Perhaps it’s been playing on my mind more than I think it has. I do try to knock such thoughts on the head...with a big hammer 🔨
Ive got my confirmation about the Moving On course 👍
So pleased you’ve got your first rad out of the way ... fingers crossed it’s quicker tomorrow. Enjoy your choir
Just to say lasses, your fatigue, aches and pains, when on chemo, and afterwards, must be so debilitating. I can only imagine how it must be for you.
Hope you’re all having a good evening