03-12-2018 09:28 AM
Thanks for your good wishes and I hope you have a wonderful Christmas with your family too. I have always been grateful for my lovely family and wide circle of friends, but goodness, these past seven months have made me appreciate them even more!
I love the imagery of you on a horse, galloping throught the countryside, with a counsellor galloping alongside!
I always used to find running a fabulous release. Headphones on, wind in my hair, and alone with my thoughts. I have a radiotherapy planning appointment today, and I shall ask if I can start running again. It is almost five weeks, post-mastectomy.
02-12-2018 07:36 PM
Janie, the best counselling I've received has been equine therapy. It was great to be in the countryside with a horse and I had to shout for the counsellor to hear me. That kind of forces the emotion out of you in a strange way. I hadn't been able to talk about my surgery until recently. I just couldnt even begin to put it into words before. I'm sure I'll get there in the end with the decision. My kids too will be home from Uni soon. Glad to have been here for you and I hope you have a fabulous Christmas with your family. xx
02-12-2018 04:49 PM
02-12-2018 04:45 PM
02-12-2018 04:42 PM
02-12-2018 04:39 PM
02-12-2018 04:34 PM
02-12-2018 02:17 PM
Thank you for posting. I think you are right- I do feel that my trauma has been trivialised. I also feel that I have, on the whole, worked through my emotions by talking with family, friends and ladies on this forum, so I don't feel that I need counselling now, but I needed it at the time. I still have had no follow up to the survey that they sent to me, when I indicated that I was very traumatised by the mastectomy.
I wish you luck with coming to the right decision. Thank you for the pertinent points you make. I, too,am very grateful to be alive, and I am enjoying life too. So looking forward to Christmas- children home from Uni and the house will be full- that's when I am happiest!!
02-12-2018 12:28 PM
pastamissus, I can keep my mind distracted very well intellectually but I can't sugar coat what I've been through. I think I was very detached about it early on after surgery but less so after a year. I'm pleased that you are able to feel unemotional about it. I'm caught in the middle of making some big decisions at present and it can be a bit overwhelming at times.
02-12-2018 09:38 AM
I went straight for a mastectomy rather than a WLE, as my aunt has had breast cancer 4 times, and I was worried about needing further operations if the margins weren't clear with a WLE.
I think I am very odd, it didn't bother me at all losing my breasts (got it in the other one, so had second mastectomy 6 weeks later). I live in my head rather than in my body, and am a doctor, so I really didn't feel any emotions about it at all, it was just necessary.
I also didn't want any kind of reconstruction. I now have prosthetics, but am happy flat. For anyone who is also flat (even if temporarily) there is a group called flatfriends which is really good.
01-12-2018 05:19 PM
Carol Lina, do you have your full diagnosis? Have they given you scan results? Are they asking you to decide on mastectomy or lumpectomy? If the decision is yours its usually because you are borderline. Mine was a clean cut decision based on having an invasive and diffuse tumour. Will you be going onto endocrine therapy (Tamoxifen or Letrazole) afterwards or are you TNBC? xxx
01-12-2018 05:10 PM - edited 01-12-2018 05:21 PM
Janie123, it is a tough call: caught between being grateful to be alive and traumatised by events. When I was told I'd need an mx I said to the nurse "well there's not point in a well conserved breast on a dead body" which I still believe is true. A satisfactory reconstruction is more about sanity than vanity so yes, the emphasis on mental wellbeing should be considered but not hurried at the expense of a better outcome from waiting a bit. Maybe, not being offered proper counselling means your trauma somehow feels trivialised and you are left to muddle along? Just another perspective to consider. I'm a year post-mx now and my mx has only affected how I feel about myself. I keep it covered up all of the time (except in the bath/shower) so I dont have to think about it because I feel that it's a reminder of cancer for me. I should develop an attitude like the "Monty Python - just a flesh wound" scene! I have an appointment over the Xmas period for a second discussion on reconstruction. I don't have any belly fat so a DIEP flap isn't an option. The other complication is that I had symptoms of inflammatory breast cancer and an implant isn't usually an option after that ....... but I'm grateful to be alive and enjoying life, oh yes I am. xxx
01-12-2018 02:54 PM
You are welcome Daisydi. I have had such amazing support from this forum too. Couldn't do it without all these lovely ladies. I have been following your experiences and I really feel for you. I hope you get the answers you need, on Tuesday. Jane x
01-12-2018 01:31 PM - edited 01-12-2018 01:32 PM
Now I understand why they have said that if not clear margins of DCIS this time then they will have to do a mastectomy. I didnt realise DCIS didnt respond to chemo. Thank god for this forum and thank you Janie for explaining. I am really hoping for positive results on Tuesday as I dont think I can take any more surgery
01-12-2018 12:55 PM
01-12-2018 12:47 PM
Hi Carol LIna,
I only had one surgery ( the mastectomy). The DCIS is not classed as cancer ( it is pre-cancer) with the potential to become invasive. There are three grades, depending how close they are to normally dividing cells. I had some high grade DCIS, and some low and intermediate grades ( so all three grades). There was 8-9cm of DCIS of these three grades, and the 4cm of high grade became my invasive tumour ( which was resolved with chemo). So I had the mastectomy because,, although all my invasive tumour was gone, the DCIS ( which my bcn called pre-cancer cells), is not treated by chemo- it can only be removed surgically, and as my DCIS was so big in relation to the size of my breast, they had to do a mastectomy. I am still having radiotherapy because tumours of 4-5cm have a slightly higher chance of recurrence, so the radiotherapy will hopefully prevent this.
Maybe some of the above may apply to you, and may be why they are recommending a mastectomy?
Love Jane xxx
01-12-2018 12:09 PM
01-12-2018 11:58 AM
01-12-2018 11:41 AM