Bev glad you had a lovely time, sounds just like what you needed.
Lily, arm about 2cms, really dont want bloody sleeve but needs must. My check up is just a feel around which Ihave every 12 weeks, have mamogram next week and told I would continue every year without doubt so check that.
Getting used to hair - its only bout cm but doing okay, lashes seem to be loosing a little again but maybe it just me. Lots of headaches but hoping its just pills! Trying to have some normal time now - thanks for info on teeth will see how brave, more needles - my phobia of them has eased a little but get wound up cos of lack of viens, longer go without having one the worse it comes up again.
Hope everyone had a nice weekend!!!
Found you all!
Just a quick note as I have not been back long and need to unpack etc etc and so haven't had a chance to catch up with all the posts yet but just to let you know I thoroughly recommend a drop of sunshine. It has done me the world of good my eybrows are completely back, eylashes longer than before! and hair appearing albiet still pretty sparce but it is coming back! I had a lovely relaxing time and feel my energy levels are back to normal to the point that had one late night clubbing session! (yes I am not past it yet) and was up dancing to the a tribute band of the Drifters until 2 a.m. I was amazed. I see the Onc tomorrow and need to ask if my tamoxifen can be altered maybe to the Nolvaldex as the one I am on doesn't allow much sleep as I am either boiling or freezing so sleeping for longer than a couple of hours seems to be impossible. Back to work on Tuesday! so normal life resumes.
Sorry will read everyone's post and catch up properly.
love to you all Bev xx
Lisa sorry to hear you think you might have lymphoedema, is your arm very swollen? Keep us posted how you get on with that. Someone had posted lymph exercises to do if you can find them on a search. I have an idea Fizbix was either posting them or reading them, if you want to ask her. Good to be getting signed off by some of the hospital departments and you have your fair share of them! Do you know what they will do on your check up, I have no idea ? I think check ups are going to be scary times for us all but at least we will all be having them at similar times so won't feel so alone. Nurse sort of implied to me that I would be put on 3 year mammos, do you think that can be right? I will probably go privately if they do. Regarding your teeth, my son had a white plastic brace, which hardly showed. We had to pay as not covered by NHS but no choice as he is allergic to certain metals and we had been told it would definitely cause problems if he had a regular one. I think if it is important to you, then go and do it. Not that many things that are in our control these days. The wedding arghhh, will I cope/afford 3 more after my eldest??? She phoned a photographer and it was Â£2500 for him to take the shots and produce an album, everyone else paid extra for any they wanted!!! I must be totally out of touch as I thought it was a horrendous price. Angie, does Tommy do weddings??? If not get him into them quick and have a life of leisure.LOL.
Nicky congrats on getting through a full week of work and enjoying it too, wow a real result!! Lots of luck for a smooth treatment on Monday and then just think, peace again for weeks. When is your birthday? Mine is 2nd Feb. Angie, you and I must be close in dx dates and birthdays, weird!!! Anyone else got a birthday soon? We all seem to be having a think back to last year. Mine was dx on 29 Feb so I won't go through that date again for 4 years. It was 6 weeks after my boss was dx and I had been really trying to support her, and about a fortnight after my friend's secondary was dx - we all work at the same place! Some of our friend's there said they had their hand down their jumper checking every day after us lot. How many needles do you think we have had in the last year? I sometimes wonder if they can spot us from space with the amount of radiation we have all accumulated!!LOL. MY scar from having the port out has turned into a marble like hard lump, which is so on my mind right now. I know it is almost certainly shrinkage from the rads, what do you think? Victor managed to be up for quite a lot of the day so looking good for Monday. He said he will go in late and take it easy, so I can drop him right outside the station, rather than a longish walk from the commuter car park. He gets the 5am train usually so not looking forward to doing that drive, if I have to!! BTW stop taking the mickey out of my memory problems with texts, I am covered by the Disability act!! I will tell my cleaner to do extra work on the carpet for you!!! How long will you be able to stay? I can talk for weeks!!
Julia hope the sting hasn't settled in yet and how did you get on with the onc? Hope it went as you wished.
Angie how are you doing on the nolvadex? Hope it is not giving you flushes.
Well, just completed my 1st 'full' week of work and really enjoyed it. It felt good to be doing more normal things and this is the first 4 weeks in a looooong time where I haven't been to a hospital for anything since last March. Of course this was ruined yesterday by my blood test for my treatment on Monday but, fingers crossed, all will go smoothly and I'll be done for another 4 weeks. Plus point was no longer wearing wiggy and getting compliments that my new look suits me. I'm now in my 'anniversary' time since my dx last year. I found out my lump was BC the day before my YD's 17th birthday so we were all upset plus her bl**dy boyfriend had dumped her so all in all a pretty rough time for her and us. Plus my b'day was (is) a few days after hers so can't say mine was much good either. That's why we're intending to have a great time for her 18th and then for my 40th (ha, ha - only kidding, 47th really) just after. Just have to hope I don't get any scan appointments before or that I can put them off till just after.
Angie - hope your Nan is well on the road to recovery.
Lisa - sounds like you're getting on with things which is great. Sorry if it is lymphodema but hopefully if it's caught early there's more that can be done for you. Take a big breather from any ops and enjoy some time away from BC and all that it entails.
Lorraine - I know you are 'meant' to be on your last legs for DLA but you can apply under the special rules part. You need to get your GP or (I think) MacMillan nurse or onc to sign the form for you. It is a bit scary as basically it's saying you are not expected to live longer than 6 months however I argued the point with my GP that 'who can tell?' as he was reluctant to do it. Also the benefits advisor I saw says there are many thousands of people on DLA under special rules who have been for over 18 months. I really am not a sponger but, as was pointed out on another thread, we can't guarantee drawing our pensions when we've got secondaries so we should get any help we can now. You also get a disability badge (which I don't intend using for a long time) which may hep you with parking if your back is really painful and mobility is impaired for a while. Definitely worth looking into. Hope your look for a new job goes well but I know what you mean about liking being at home - it's so easy to do nothing all day even when there's loads you should be doing. Also hope your son's arm is getting better and he's not done any permanent damage.
Julia - nearly finished in the fryer then? Must be over half way by now (I think) Look after yourself, you can get very tired towards the end of it all. Hope appt with onc sorted your next options out for you and it went the way you wanted.
Lily - well D day minus 5 and counting! Let's hope we don't scream too much (as in your dream/vision!) when we meet up. I hope I'm not expected to wait on Victor as well? Would be a bit too much in one day to try out my bedside manner! Do you need texts for everything? If so I'll text you to remind you that I'm visiting - make sure the red carpet is hoovered please! It is so easy to forget these dys. I don't think I've been too affected by chemo brain but if I don't make a note about something it doesn't happen - having said that it was like that before chemo so maybe senility was on it's way already!
Take care all, plus anyone I've not included. Bev - hope you have the time to read all these posts when you get back, can't believe we're up in the 70's already!
Have a good weekend all, nice and sunny here today after a very wet night.
Hiya all , sorry Ive been absent, just sooo busy! Work, partying and sort of getting my life back, its scary as bit nervous bout enjoying self just in case. Gyni signed me off and oncologist but off for breast check up on monday and to see about my arm, think got lymphodema, just dont want a blasted sleeve. Mamogram next week as its coming up to the year mark as found it on my birthday last year, its defo a similar time for all of us I think. Well hoping to have 6 mths to do things then have recon. Would really love to get my teeth sorted but not sure what can be done, had braces for years when younger and teeth were fine, now the two front ones have parted and large gap and one turns slghtly, makes me paranoid but never had guts to do anything about it - no idea what but might try and find out.
Hope everyone okay.
Angie - hope your Nana okay and that you are eating enough!
Nicky - really pleased about your hair
Lily - any mrore wedding plans? Get that holiday booked!
Lorraine - so sorry about the job - hope you feel better soon.
Better go, having another weight watchers glass of wine! Healthy ish eating!!!
well my Victor is still flat on his back and at my mercy!!! LOL. I did enquire how he felt about being the patient for a change and he said huh, not impressed at all. He then let slip that he had thought lying in bed looked better than it was in reality. He has got up a few times today so I hope things are improving so I can have a rest next week! I am madly trying to write a section for the final year of my Masters and keep losing my thread due to interruptions, meal and drink breaks, chemo brain and lack of motivation. I might just be wasting my time trying to do it now but don't want to think I failed to finish it just because of Bc. It takes too many things away as it is. I feel like I am the worst one at getting back to work.
I have not dared to try my suits on yet as some were getting a little snug before all this. Might be a good reason to go for a really big shopping expedition next week if I can face buying bigger sizes. I almost booked a summer holiday this week. I was sitting in the travel agents, lost to everything else, as they searched for nice places within my budget (which was taking some time) , when my daughter rang and all the alarm bells went off in my head at the same time- oh s..., I am supposed to be picking tiny terror up in less than 30 minutes and I am miles away. So I had to leap up and run out of the shop and leg it back to the car park. So now I get a reminder phone call from her every day , not to to forget my Grandson. When did I get to this state, how did it happen, is it chemo or early senile decay!!!! My alternative onc, who I don't like seeing, tells me it is due to menopause! What a cheery thought.
It is strange because only today someone mentioned my birthday soon and that I would be 49. I said at any other time I would have been saying ooh no I'll be 50 next year, but you know I don't think I will ever moan about being older again. Even thinking about being 60 or more sounds like good news! Funny how things change so much,
Very old (and I don't care) Lily x
Hi: It's Friday – hooray!
Angie – sorry to hear about your Nan but from what you say she sounds OK. These old birds can be very tough – hope we are the same when we get to her age. Glad you have made the one year anniversary – I discovered my lump about one year ago and had it confirmed on 7 Feb and from there it is history. Can't really believe it is that long ago.
Nicky: Great news about your hair – can't wait to ditch the wig, it is getting itchy and boring now. Must go see hairdresser next week, he will probably give it a trim to encourage growth. Quite like my Sinead O'Connor look (as my office cleaner called it when I showed her the progress!!). Am writing myself some notes for my meeting with the onc today otherwise you tend to only talk about one thing and forget the rest.
Lily: Yes I have got dark patch on chest below what used to be a good looking boob but it is not itchy or sore – yet. Still lathering on the gunk – have just changed to Aloe Vera and using the aqueous as shower gel. Surgery scar seems to be diminishing which my onc said it would with the rads. Still wearing proper underwear - haven't resorted to the baggy look yet!!
Love the story of your work interview – I am afraid that unless you tick all the boxes on your list you are a forgotten commodity in Gordon Brown's gulag. I'm sure you will fit right back in at work and wonder why you were concerned.
Better go, and pretend to do some work.
Hi, (posting attempt number 3 Grrrrrrrrr)
firstly Angie so sorry to hear about your Nan but very pleased to hear she now seems ok and long may that last.You sound really busy, which is good but remember to EAT! Still lots of repairing going on inside our bodies. I still haven't looked your wedding site up yet but intend to, when my memory does what it is supposed to. So what are you up to workwise? Anarchy or saving the world!!!! I dreamt we all travelled from our various ends of the world and surprised you at your wedding. I am sure this was after watching Mamma Mia! When we realised who each other was we all screamed and then you came in and realised who we all were, grinnining like cheshire cats, and started screaming too. It didn't do a lot for the registrar !! Obviously I have weddings on the brain these days.
Nicky - for someone who is fighting to get on the computer, boy you have written a lot. I have enjoyed reading your long posts and why so much worry about your hair? Anyway glad you now find it to your taste and congratulations on rejoining the wig-free population. Can't wait to see the edgy hair, when you visit. I am fair bursting to meet you in person, rather than the virtual Nicky on my sky plus box. I wonder how many times I can play it in one day. I just hope you won't be sick when you see the close up of your hand with the cannula, assuming it is your hand of course. It still has rings on it! Have you got them back on again yet? Mine is still tight at times, probably got a permanent dent underneath it though. Thanks for the tips on Vit E as I have some from when I used it on my operation scars and still put some on occasionally. I will also try to get my bp taken some time to see if the Tamoxifen has affected me. By the way, even if hubby is still home, you are still very welcome.
Lisa - how is the H and Dennis these days? I loved that spell when we were trying out hair replacement ideas, it just kept me chuckling all the way through those weeks. Are the Se of the op slowing down at all?
Julia - gosh you are motoring on through the rads now and hopefully without any problems. I think the trick is to make sure the radiated skin of the underneath of the boob does not touch the skin of the chest. I am still using the cool gel dressings but it is not bothering me at all unless I try to wear a bra. Commando for a bit longer. It is just very brown with big peeling patches now so just got to wait for the skin to recover.I think the squirmy itchy part is worse than the heat of the burn myself as I couldn't scratch it.
Bev are you back and did you have a lovely time?
Lorraine, so sorry you had withdrawal stmptoms from my daily wittering. Two men are keeping me busy!!! Hubby is still in bed so constant dashing up and down stairs with meals, food, phone calls, etc and tiny terror has to be picked up by 1pm and has stayed every evening. Also my lovely forum friend Sharon2 has been hijacked by our local hospital so I went to visit her last night. She is being held captive with egg sandwiches and a yoghurt! How is your back now? I still feel very sorry about you giving your job up and have been trying to think of ideas for something else. What about a library? Or I could send my ironing every week???????????????????????Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hope your son's hand is healing well now too.
I went to the work interview with sleeves rolled up ready for action and was met by a very sweet, very large young lady who started by saying 'do you mind telling me what cancer you have as my Mother died of it' That put an end to anything else and as I was not poor, gay, a single Mother, in debt, unable to pay my mortgage, disabled or missing any major body parts AND HAD A JOB!!!, they were unable to help me any more in finding me a job. So I went home again. Next stop was to tell my boss I plan to descend this month and so I have to go for a meeting next week to discuss what I will be doing. He is keen for me to do very little in the 2 weeks before half-term. We'll see how it goes when I get there. It will be good/scary to go back in after 10 months of no contact at all. Might try to make a dash down the corridor to see my lovely tutor group who I have missed so much.
Must post before the gremlin eats it again
OK so I'm still being tested. Tomorrow's the 1 year anniversary and I feel fine but my Nan's now in hospital. She's been having heart trouble and was having the stress tests when she had a heart attack. She's OK, colour in her cheeks, sitting up, laughing and reading etc and lets be honest, there's no better time than when wired up to monitors but still... gulp. She's 80 this year.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed for her, just agreed with my Mum that we now all avoid hospitals this time of year!
where art though lily? are you enjoying life so much you havnt got time for the pc, hope you ok, thats all that matters.
thanks for the kind messages of support about job, ive accepted it really, cos part of me didnt mind being at home, but i just need some income, so i will try DLA again, though i think you need to be on your last legs to receive it.
been to hosp again today, with son hes now got a new splint on it. wouldnt have been able to take him if i was working, so that was easier.
take care everyone.,x
Went to my hairdresser yesterday only to be told he thought my hair was great and just needed a trim! I knew he'd say that but after a week of getting used to it, 2 daughters and OH saying it looked fine and then 3 hairdressers giving me the thumbs up I'm feeling better about it! I actually had it cut, as in textured, and nearly fainted after seeing it fall off - I've spent so long growing the damn stuff I don't want it gone! Anyway, then braved Guildford on the way back for some retail therapy as I need some different clothes to go with the 'edgier' me - any excuse. Then back to work today with no wig! We are an open plan office on one floor so everyone saw as I walked in, plus I start later than most people so they were all there before me! Anyway, had lots of compliments and had to explain to a few people that, No, I hadn't had a drastic haircut, I had ditched my wig. So I'm now officially de-wigged and enjoying the freedom, if not the cold ears! Now I just have to see friends and family and get them used to the new me.
Lorraine - so sorry about the job but I can see where he's coming from about the lifting. Maybe you can find another job? I know it's difficult but I'm sure there will be something out there. Your info from your onc sounds good in terms of grade etc and I hope there's no further spread. Having said that I have read on here that it can happen and they can switch hormone tablets etc to help. Also I would try for DLA, there's loads of info on here if you do a search but get a MacMillan nurse or someone in the know to help you with it. I applied in Nov and am waiting to hear but got the benefits advisor for MacMillan to fill it in for me as I'd met her on a secondaries event. Even though I feel fine I still have to take time off work for appointments and I don't get paid if I don't work. Plus I felt so bad with all the side effects I couldn't work anyway. You sound like you have a strong case for it and it certainly would help financially.
Julia - hope the rads skin stays calm but watch out for afterwards as Lily found out! Good luck for tomorrow.
Hi to everyone else and hope you are keeping away from any bugs. I'm so glad we didn't have chemo during the winter months as it must add an extra worry.
Angie - meant to have said I hope you can celebrate tomorrow and finally put those 12 months to bed. As you say there will be some other lady having the same type of news as this awful BC gets to so many of us. But - onwards and upwards my dear!
Bye for now take care everyone, have a good weekend if I'm not on here before.
Hi all: Am working today and trying to catch up with you all. Really good to read that we are all moving on to new things – and trying to revert to normal (whatever that is).
Angie – just had a look at the venue – looks lovely, the area is great – stayed in Buxton some years ago and thought it was really beautiful. Can't think why anyone should be offended by your homeopathic remedies – I've always found them fascinating – only problem is getting hold of them. Think your recommendations for bruising sound good – am definitely going to get hold of those – OH slipped off loft ladder beg of last week and fell from second step onto wooden floor. Since he has less fat on him that the proverbial chip (Oh pleeeease) is very sore and bruised. Did say he could have some of my fat if he wanted any!! Your year's project sounds very demanding but as I have found working thru it does give you something else to think about. Unfortunately having been a complete sloth the rest of the time (and put on stone!) have now got to get moving.
Lily – Love the Kato comment – I am going back a bit in catching up! Have you had your back to work meeting yet? And did it go OK? The wedding venue sounds lovely but we are all hoping you are sitting down when the quotation arrives.
Everyday: sorry to hear about the job. As I said above, I think it really helps to have something to move on to. Are you going to search around for something else? In Gordon Brown's recession it may not be easy but best of luck.
Nicky: thanks for the good wishes for Friday – I think one of the difficulties with various drugs is that oncs get stuck into a routine and it is difficult to move to something else, but we will see. Having talked to my sister about the family history, it is worse than I thought. Our mum had two heart attacks – first at 60 – where she technically died and had to be paddled back to life (I hadn't forgotten obviously but have only been asked about cancer history not heart).
Hair is still taking ages to grow – sides and back are OK but top is still thin, am dosing it with Vit E oil and taking the brewer's yeast to give it a boost.
Have no 8 of 15 rads today so have hit the halfway point. No probs yet, been a bit itchy but that is all. Am using the aqueous stuff but think I will change to Aloe Vera as the cream gets into your clothes but the gel seems to sink in more. Will also use the Vit E once it is all over as the oil I have is very gloopy and is fine for rubbing into my head but wouldn't want to do the same to my poor old boob.
Anyway, better to some work – will let you know how the onc meeting goes. Have a good weekend everyone, not sure about the weather, pretty yukky I think but not so cold.
Lots of love
Oh Lorraine... that's horribly restrictive... hugs. Really hope that it's normal muscular damage. I can't believe how easily things go twang at the moment. I don't think they realise how weak it leaves us feeling to be honest.
i just lost the longest message ever.aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh went to see onc today, he is giving me a bone scan to check back, he thinks it may be due to the mets i have down spine, ( i really hope not). i asked loads of questions.
what grade is my cancer 2
am i having the best treatment for your age yes, when you reach 52(or if i do) we will change it then
can i dye hair yes, nurse said why? its lovely, he says its fashion
can i do my job (in nursery) not ideal, dont lift over 10kg
why skin flaking inbetween fingers from chemo
can i shave under arm not on affected side
can i live a normal life yes but no no no lifting
i said this is great fun aint it!
so ive had to give up my job, but am more relaxed now not letting p;eople down. i was enjoying it, but my health means more to me. i will have to try for dis allowance again, i was refused before.
hope you well
thanks for advice if it works for dog, i will give it a try.
take care everyone.x
Give it a few weeks for any SE to kick in from Nolvaldex. However I didn't really suffer on Tamoxifen all those years ago, well 5 years ago. Certainly didn't notice much once I'd finished my 2 years of Zoladex. maybe because it was a breeze compared to all the SE's from Zoladex! Just a word of warning to everyone it is worth getting your Blood Pressure checked every so often, my went up dramatically and it was the Tamoxiifen causing it as it went back to normal once I stopped taking it last year whilst on chemo.
Take care all, gotta dash, about to eat.
ps Hope all went well today Lorraine - let us know how you got on
Just a quick drop my as my inbox is just filling up right now and I've got so many invoices to do.
Nicky great to hear from you, will PM you my email address in a mo so should be the next message you see on this thread after this one.
Lorraine. Hope the bath was nice and onc appointment is productive, assuming the back pain is normal muscular pain you'd want a combination of 3 homeopathic remedies ideally. 30c each of Rhus Tox, Ruta and Arnica. Arnica deals with any surface bruising and the other 2 deal with deeper tissue and muscle damage. That specific combination is amazing and is the one we always have in our walking first aid kit. I kid you not when I say it saved our poor dog from surgery, he'd done real damage to his leg when he jumped of a style and was limping really badly, vet couldn't see the damage and said he'd have to do exploratory surgery just to see what was wrong, we refused, took him home, called my mum and gave his all 3 remedies 3 times a day for 2 days and suddenly he was bounding again. Since then we use it every time someone sprains an ankle, does their back in or lands badly (we're not delicate people).
This is why I'm suspicious when people say this stuff is all in the mind as the dog hasn't a clue what he's taking and why.
I'm a big fan of hot bubbly baths for back aches but doesn't really work on really bad ones does it
I've just taken my first Novaldex this morning, so far everythings OK. I suspect that I'll manifest some symptoms just worrying about them though LOL. How long before the side effects kick in Ladies?
Can't believe that Friday is the 1 year anniversary of my diagnosis. Struck me this morning that today's Wednesday which is clinic day at Carlisle and there's probably some poor woman who's going to get the news that we all hate so much and go through the year we all did, and while I feel pretty good right now I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
I just hope that things stay in stasis or even recede for those of you with secondaries.
Lots of love Ladies, must eat now, feeling nauseous again, but then I have only had a satsuma so far today.
hi nicky glad to see your back on form, enjoy the drink or two, with mates will do you good. im just going to have a nice bath, and get ready for appointment with onc, later. i need to shave down below, why does that area grow so quick compared to the head. im now going around all the time without the wig, just waiting to have it coloured like you, but mine seems ok if i stick the old gel on, in fact it seems wavy then, chemo hair as people say. my sister was supposed to have her chemo today, but her platlets are low, so been put off, shes relieved in one way, but wants to get her op done so is dissapointed as well.
i can imagine you found it frustrating at work having to keep having time off, but was it easier with them knowing about everything before. it just seems terrible with just starting, bet their wishing theyd not employed me. nothing i can do except ask onc today, and try to move about as much as i can. my hubby of course is as sympathetic as ever, but never mind at least i have everyone here to chat with, it does help to let of steam. especially with these hot flushes! take care enjoy the day.
god bless you all.x
Right, I'll continue....
Lisa - I read what you said about it being difficult when you get back home (but it's on the other page so sorry if I get it wrong). It must be so tough on you dealing with this and all the other things that have gone on in your life like losing your OH and the death of other family members. No wonder it hits you when you've got time to thinks about it or are on your own. I hope you can keep yourself and your mind busy (in a positive way!) which can help. This time of the year can be so difficult and fairly gloomy most of the time with the weather not helping either. Hope things pick up soon but I know you've also got alot to decide with possible ops etc. Keep using us as a moaning board! Also meant to say if you are looking at cosmetics and stuff one of the things to avoid seems to be parabens which are a preservative used in loads of toiletries etc. There seems to be a link with BC, although not fully proven as with most links, but they are worth avoiding. A lot of more expensive stuff doesn't have them but look out for natural or paraben free ones in Boots and supermarkets. Tesco do a good affordable range called Be Natural, also health shops will have them but ttend to be more expensive. There have been threads about this before - worth a search.
Julia - hope appt goes well this Friday and you find out what's next! I'd love to know if any heart problems like you have or I've experienced have been linked to after effects of chemo. Maybe your Prof will know? Hope yours settle down and you can find out about Herceptin.
Lily - hope burns are healing nicely. Once the worst is over try putting Vit E oil on the area, it may mean it clears up even quicker and leaves no marks - who knows when you will be baring all? Wedding venue sounds fab - just hope you and OH are sitting down when the bill comes in! Hope the 'back to work' interview went well and you get a job LOL! And that you behaved yourself and didn't tell them where they can stick their forms! Sorry to hear Onc appt was cancelled we seem to get all ready for them one way or another and then have to build ourselves up again if they get changed. I'm coming up to the same time of the year as last when I had my (routine) mammo that showed my recurrence up. I just had a feeing all along that it wouldn't turn out to be a blip on the screen, however hadn't quite expected the outcome that eventually happened. Oh well, in some ways I hope to be better off than this time last year as my BC responded to chemo so, like Dr Who, I hope to have gone back in time!
Off to sort the H out today - I really hope something can be done to lighten it as I hate, hate, hate wearing my wig still. If not I may get it shaved off and start again! At least wiggy wouldn't be so uncomfortable then. I was interested to see wigs are making a come back as a style statement. Brilliant for all of those who don't have to wear them all the time and have any of the fashion writers ever worn one for more than a photo shoot - I think not!
Take care all and sorry if I've missed you out. Bev are you back yet?
What with work and 2 daughter doing college work the computer seems out of bounds! A quick catch up before anyone else wants to use it!
Lorraine - really sorry your back is still playing up but it can take ages to sort itself out. OH had a problem last year and ended up going to an osteopath to get it sorted and even then it took a bit longer. He was given strong painkillers by GP but these didn't sort it completely so with any luck yours is also a pull or strain and will get sorted. Hope all goes well today with onc and he sends you on your way :-) I do know how frustrating all this can be. I had expected to be working pretty much my normal 3 days a week after chemo ended. Oh no, that didn't happen! I seemed to spend more time than ever off work and at one medical place or another. I've only just got back into my stride now and just waiting for the next little thing to stop me! Take care though and be good to yourself. Hope your son is also recovering - a big shock for you all, I remember my younger brother doing the same thing but not so badly cut.
Angie - a year's project - well that gives us food for thought! So glad you and the other geeks had a good weekend - not my idea of fun I must admit but someone has to do it! Really pleased it means you also are back into the real world and picking up where you left off. I know you won't be on here as much but would love your email so I can pester you occasionally if I've not heard anything! Also I can visit you if we're in your lovely neck of the woods. Don't think this is an idle threat either as I'm good to my word - ask Lily - I'm descending on her next week, ha ha! Good luck with the work the move and the wedding - boy you know how to start a year off!
Lisa - hope you are doing well. Good for you to get out to the pub - that's what they are there for! I'm all for meeting with friends for a drink (or 2,3,4) and a catch up!
Oops - YD is up and needing the printer will sign off and continue in a min
hope you all enjoying the day, or the moment at least.
thanks for your advice, i do sleep with the pillow between my legs sometimes, hope hubby sorts his back out. go to onc tommorow, so see what he says regards work. my youngest as gone to school today, he hates being off, but i think its more about seeing his friends than the school work, (we werent like that, were we?) i think i was actually, i hated school.
sorry your appointment with onc , was cancelled im looking forward to seeing him, it feels like their the only ones with the answers we have to ask. ( although the advice on here is great). what would we do without each other, suffer in silence. probably.
ive done more housework today, so maybe back is getting better, but its still hurts at times. still worrying about losing time off work, why cant nothing be simple.
i would love some advice, what can i use. i need a miracle cure!
hope everyone else is ok
take care x
I think (will know more when i actually go to work again) that being back at work is probably the time we forget thisc..p and feel like we used to. Somewhere between work and home, the old dark thoughts surface and you wonder if you are just fooling yourself. A bit of a battle we all have to have until Bc gets kick boxed into a corner of the brain. Mine keeps coming out and launching attacks like Kato on Inspector Clousseau (spelt that wrong!). Anyway wishing you more peaceful times as we dodge scary appointmnets and things.
Angie, I feel the need to sleep just thinking about that work. Can I also say that I felt you have always been enthusiastic and keen to help others with homeopathic remedies and I am saddened that this has been taken in any other way.
Lorraine, glad to hear the cheeky rascal is well enough to want fuss from girls and negotiate new clothes too!! Hope your back is improving. I have made Oh an appointment with a physio on Wed. She insisted on talking to him personally and he has been told to keep moving and not to just lie in bed. When in bed he has to keep moving legs and have pillows under his knees when lying on his back. When lying on his side he has to have pillows between his knees (like when preggers!). Not sure if any of that will help you. Don't forget we are covered by the Disability act so our employers have to meet our needs, so don't worry too much about them. I know you always feel worse if you are new but think how you would feel towards one of the others if they had flu or broke a limb, that is how they are/should be thinking of you. I don't have much trouble with the older kids as I don't wind them up but at 11 or 12, some only respond to being told off loudly, which I don't do very often at all. I get really mad if one bullies another or hurts someone though. Always in the wrong place trying to stop trouble and fights, so have taken a few wallops myself in previous schools! My current school is very middle class so a different atmosphere. Lots and lots of luck on Wednesday with the onc.
My consultant was ill so my appointment was cancelled today. they just left a message on 1571 and hoped I would find it! It is now resceduled for my birthday. Fab! My burn is improving fast although my Gp was wincing looking at it, when I went for more supplies of the dressings. I have now negotiated a back to work day. He kept offering me weeks extra, which was really nice to think I had that support if I needed it. I have my Gov get me back to work interview tomorrow. What a load of rubbish and I am hoping not to get a sweet person, so I can be really bolshy.
Hi everyone else, are you ok?
yes it was quite a shock when i got the call from hospital, but i think im getting used to being shocked. my eldest two were bad boys and lots of calls from police and hospital, so this one is an angel so far, and i really hope it stays that way. he didnt want to stay off school cos hes missing the attention off the girls. they have made such a fuss of him. he manage to wrangle a new tracksuit out of me, cos he needed a front opening top and he never had one. oh well, whats money! hope your soreness is easing. are you allowed to put something cool over the soreness. my back is still bad but not as painful as before, mainly its in bed, ive told them at work, they may not be pleased, and im worried but i really cant do anything about it. i will check things out with onc on wed, along with a long list of questions.i hope everything goes ok for you when you go back to work, its hard to judge how much your up to, mentally i feel positive and want to carry on as normal, but the body is not so willing. at least with teenagers (i think thats who you work with) you dont have to get up and down, but then you have to put up with their silliness at times, i dont know how you do that? but then again i think theyre mostly ok if you treat them like
humans and not aliens.
thanks for the kind thoughts hope you doing well.
everyone else take care . live it up a bit, and have fun!
Lisa, I know what you mean about feeling fine at work. nearly didn't want to come home. Finally got some sleep on Sat night and another full day on Sun, managed to eat so asking pertinent questions and grilling people was all fine and so was the attention spam. A 40 min dose in the evening and I was ready for a night of silly card games and wine with friends. Cancer was a distant memory for a while and it was lovely.
I've now been put in charge of a project I won't be able to talk about for a long time (roughly a year) so feel like my life is back and I'm back but certainly have to keep an eye and make sure I don't overdo it so I doubt I'll have time to be on here so much now that I have responsibilities again... you can always reach me through facebook or email though.
Am going to collapse into a little heap now and hope you all have a really good week, and I hope everyones aches and pains subside and your son heals well Lorraine.
Loads of love to you all
Angie (in recovery... 27 geeks, 24 hours of meetings in 72 hours of real time... done... and wow what an amazing weekend)
God we all worr at the drop of a hat dont we, suppose its normal, drive my parents bonkers, feel fine at wor, come home then it hits in.
Lily, venue sounds lovely! Glad red patches gone down - i still have spots on my back that appeared a few days afterwards.
Lorraine - hope your son aint suffering tooo much and your back gets better soon
Angie - venue sounds lovely. I cant cope with getting hot, wanna rip clothes off which wouldnt be a good site
Nicky - try not to worryabout headaches, mine have eased of now but a few weeks after starting arimidex I had awful headaches and was taking paracetomal against my better judgemen, however I must admit over the last week or so they have eased off
Had far tooo much booze in pub with my best mate who I havent seen over xmas as she ha flu so had lovely catch up and still ate healthy - weigh in day tomorrow so fingers crossd loss something
Lorraine, what a terrible terrible shock it must have given you to get called. I am so sorry to hear about it and guess it would have been very scary for him with all the blood too. Poor old chap. I have spent more time in hospital with my son after accidents than I care to remember, boys do just rush into things and have no fear. Have they said that the operation was successful? I think I might use looking after him as my reason for having a few more days off as he will need care. It looks better on your work record, you get a bit more rest and he gets some tlc. I am sure you would be worried if he was on his own trying to get lunch, etc.
As if you needed anything else!
Biggest hugs and back rubs with deep heat
hi hope everyone is ok
my younger son(13) as had us up the hospital all day, he went for sleepover at mates and they were running about and he put his hand through a glass door by accident, so he had to have an op. he had severed 2 tendons, we got the call at 5 this morning and only got back at 6 this evening, so not an exciting sunday. and i hated the memories of the theatre that came back when i waited with him to be aneathatised. i hope i never have to have that again, but im worried about my back because its so bad, i think it probable is muscular in my lower back, but it as set it off at the top were i know i have some spots on the bones.
anyway i dont know whats going to happen about work on tuesday, because time is ticking away, and the back is still hurting especially in bed. lily i sympathise with hubby, its no laugh! im going to bed early see if i can get a good night, so all take care x
hmmmmm mouth tightly closed and avoiding coughing like the plague after hearing that Julia. It just sits in my throat and is so annoying. The cold weather sets it off too, every time I go out the door or even open it. I had to pick my son up late last night and could hardly drive for coughing, the night air really gets me. Keep us posted how you get on in your Friday appointment. It might be worth looking up all the drugs he could give you to see if there is one that suits you best. How are the rads going? I started to feel it very slightly during the later part of the second week but by the morning any pinknesss had gone again.
Angie sorry to hear you were yuk. Hot cars make me get terribly travel sick, that breathing in warm stuffy air - yuk. Are you feeling better now? I will have a peek at that place later but sounds lovely. I have to say the wedding has really helped me to think and talk about other things now. Just a word of caution, if you were having a civil ceremony at the venue, check when the registrar is free too. You have to pay for them to come to the venue and on certain days there may only be one available. You can hold the date 2 years ahead provisionally, so a lot of dates get tied up early, especially May onwards. We found the popular places are already half full for Summer 2010. If you can marry mid week and take a cancellation, you can get an amazing drop in prices. Lots of luck in finding a place that is just right for you two.
Better go, tiny terror stayed last night and apparently we need to discuss pepper pig!!
Hi: Haven't sorted the pills yet, should be seeing Prof on Friday to decide on what. Am concerned about Herceptin as I have bad family history on Ma's side for heart trouble - Mum's sister died of heart attack at about 50 - long before I was born, of her six kids three have heart trouble, one died waiting for transplant, one daughter has cholestrol levels of Guiness Book of Records levels and is on continual treatment for that. So am not too happy about doing anything that could affect the ticker. added to which my tachycardia palpitations are worse now than six months ago - probably SE from chemo - and I get breathless with them sometimes so will have to run thru all this with the onc. I think around here they just do six months Herceptin not 12, but all will be revealed on Friday.
hope all the bad backs are getting better - girlfriend has horrific cough and has cracked and rib and torn two muscles with coughing. She was on liquid morphine but was so spaced out has had to give it up.
Take care all, and have a good week.
Lily I think Tommy and I are considering having outr wedding here actually.
Eco houses on a farm in the peaks it's lovely. I had a bath heated from geo thermal last night. It's amazing tech.
Oh god, don't mention food. This work retreat is good but it seems there;s a price for having any fun. in my case it's spending the evening in the loo talking to white elephants and needing to sleep every 6 hours. The problem is the heat from 27 people all being in the same room without aircon. I used to hate aircon but now I feel so sick if I get hot. I've eaten nothing but dry toast for 3 days now.... Am just consuming a bowl of museli with home now.
Everyone's been so sweet, it's the 1st time I've seen most of them since my diagnosis so I really wanted to just be well and this to be behind me but life's not like that is it
Thank god for Lucozade and Dorset cereals.
Lorrainne. So hope your back is better soon. I know what homeopathics to use there so ask if you want to know. I don't want to force any info on anyone so won't do that unless people ask now.
I think we're all a lot weaker than we think. In comparison to when I was diagnosed a year ago I am so much weaker.
well the space age dressings were fantastic and just sorted it all out. I still have peeling patches but it is not bothering me at all. I am sure that keeping the skin of your boob and your chest apart is the way to go to avoid this.Mine like everything else slouch south and lean on the next biggest bulge!! LOL. Sorry, prob put you off yout dinner now.
Went to 2 more wedding venues today and we all fell in love with the same one -luckily! We have the whole place for the day so get a dining room all laid up with cream linen and bows, a disco room and bar, lounge with sofas for quiet moments, outside courtyard garden with seats and another bar, a really gorgeous ceremony room in a separate little building and a huge farmhouse with 8 bedrooms. The immediate family (if bride and groom agree of course) can all stay at the farm house and all have a big cooked breakfast together the next morning. Bride and groom get their own sectioned off part of the house. That was the easy bit, now we have to work out a budget!!! Needless to say I am planning my return to work and full wages pretty smart. The whole setting is a barn so very cosy and exposed wooden beams everywhere, set in the middle of the countryside. I was very close to blubbing looking at the happy brides in the photos they showed us and had to do that 'think about something else quickly' move and bit my tongue to add pain to help. The second venue was fab too but we had been to wowed by the first to be compromised. I await the verdict when they have done their figures but don't think it will be a comfy bill. Hubby was totally incapacitated in bed with his back. Lorraine he sounds just like you. I even had to get him a bottle he could drink from without sitting up. I also bought a heat pad that you plug in to warm the whole back area but not much good till he gets up. He is overdosing on Syndol tablets as they are painkillers and have muscle relaxants in them too. Hope yours improves very soon. I will tell my Victor that you have been like that for 5 days and try to frighten him to see a doc or someone. He hates anything medical so never goes. Sorry you have been upset too, it is so frustrating I know to get through treatment and then get something else. Just this cough is driving me to distraction as it starts every evening and morning. Sound like I smoke 40 a day sometimes!
Nicky I understand your worries completely and think we will always get more anxious than others about pains. Headaches are so common and being side effects too, you have to try to put them in the normal box. Easier said than done I know and I have worried about every little thing, including the cough so I am no good at dishing out advice!! Thanks, the burn is fine now and I don't even remember I have it mostly. The dressing worked so quickly, it is amazing stuff. Are you back on all foods again now? I am getting fatter by the day due to enjoying the taste of food so much again. Hope the vampires were quick and good luck on Monday. I get my 9 month surgical check up that day too. Looks like I might be going on my own if he is still in bed! I have tiny terror too, so will need a good plan to keep them all in the right place at the right time. Better go and do next round of 'in bed drinks and food'
hope your living it up! having a wonderful weekend? my back pain is still hurting ouch. and i mean really painful, i cant even move to turn around in bed, and have to grip on to the sheets when i get up. and its even uncomfortable when i dont move, i go to see onc next wednesday cant wait, boy have i got some questions for him.
your poor husband , i sympathise , and i can feel the pain when you cough in bed. im praying i can get back to work next week, but its worrying me, because its still pretty bad at times. i just want to get back to normal, my eldest son was so unsympathetic this morning that i ended up crying, not like me, but when youve been in pain for 5 days its enough to make anyone. i hope your body settles after the rads.
well i never, you just cant wait, dirty weekends on the horizon already? is that maybe why the headaches come on.?
take care everyone else.x
What a shame all this redness and soreness has come out after rads. Just when you think you're 'done' there's something else to sort - the story of all our lives during this episode. Touchwood (ie my head!) my heart has calmed down a lot. I did get a bout of palpitations last weekend, yes, I had been drinking but only a glass or 2 that evening. My ED suggested it was a reaction to such a small amount of alcohol after the huge amount I had on NYE ;-) So generally a lot better than I was plus the tummy has settled down although occasionally I get a couple of blips but it also took a long time to settle after chemo/anti-biotics had stopped. However I seem to get headaches a bit more at the moment which is worrying for me where I am with this blooming disease but having said that my A I's and heart tablets both list it as a fairly common SE. In fact the thread on here about Arimidex has loads of women saying they are on paracetamol for them. I will let you know if we are at any motor events your way. Between the girls and I we bought OH a driving experience at Goodwood for his Christmas present so we will all be going along later this year to see how he enjoys it. Sorry to hear about OH's back, funnily they never seem to get things looked at as we would. Yet they moan about their continued problems! I'm off to the vampires lair on Friday ready for my treatment next Monday, hopefully straightforward and over with by lunchtime.
Have a good weekend, it's snowed here overnight so will be out for a walk later - I keep being told by other locals who walk over the Common that I need a dog as I seem to be the only one without one. A nice idea but OH and I are just getting used to the idea of some freedom later this year and don't want to be tied down with more pets etc.
still having fun with the rads burn so bought aloe vera gel this time. An hour later I had a nice fringe of burnt skin hanging off my chest - nice. it mad me peel even more and the skin underneath is so red and not happy to be out in the air. I spoke to the rads hospital again and the sister said day 7 - 10 is the turning point so it should improve from now on. She said it would heal better and scar less if covered by a dressing not it was breaking out, so had to get some special space age gel dressings for radiotherapy damage. they are brilliant and just cling to you to separate the breast and chest skin. It is where they touch that i am red raw now. So fingers crosse it is on the up now. Visit to the surgeon on Monday so will see what he says if not better by then. It is a problem going to another hospital as no rad done in our town so no experts. it is a big unit with 2 rooms for ladies and men seem to go somewhere else, so not sure how many machines there are altogether. Julia hope you are luckier than me. I was fine, just felt a bit hot after week 2 but hardly any red to see. The day after I finished it went mad. Withdrawal symptoms maybe!! Have you started your tablets yet and have they made their decision about herceptin. That is another year of going every 3 weeks I believe, but a very successful drug. Angie have you started your nolvadex yet? How are they going if you have? Hope the geeks didn't bore you too much and good luck with the packing and house move. Lisa I agree we do too much, except I am not working so maybe I am the exception. Mind you I have had tiny terror all week so feel pretty tired every night. Lorraine I would love to be permanently cheerful and I guess mostly I am but every now and again. Doooooooooooooooown. Hoping time makes it happen less often. How is your back now? And yours Angie? Nicky has you heart settled completely now? Brilliant if you can get rid of some of these worse side effects. You can always do one of your short trips over here some time if you feel like it. We are hoping to go to Brands Hatch again this summer, which track do you go to? Would be great to meet up if anything suitable comes up. We should all post if having a UK holiday over the years as we may all eventually meet. Sorry i am not in a nice seaside spot!
Off to more venues tomorrow. Hubby has done his back in and got stuck on the train, then could not lift his leg up to get on a bus when he got into London so had to walk. I am sorry to say everyone he told, including me chuckled about his story. We said he could have bought a red rover and travelled round on the bus all day like a mascot! He will not see anyone about his back and suffers all the time so we are not as kind as we should be. I have a silly, annoying cough so no doubt will be in trouble for bouncing the bed - steady on!!!!
Enjoy the weekend. Anyone got anything medical next week?
Hope you all have a great weekend. So the first week of 2009 is now done and a lot of us seem to be back at work already.
I'm on a work retreat down in the Peak district this evening... 48 hours, 27 geeks, a dozen presentations, 2 wii consoles and an awful lot of planning for the next election.... wahhh keep your fingers crossed for us. Poor Tommy's fighting a Migraine right now so it's all looking a bit hairy. That and I felt awful yesterday, had to go back to bed twice and sleep 12 hours overnight. Just felt so achy and sick. Does anyone else occasionally feel like they may have had more treatment than they really need?
So should be back on Monday and then all I have to do is my tax return and move house.
So if you don't see me here again before Feb you know why.
Lots of love and stay warm
Hi: Think I set a world record yesterday for in and out for my rads. Got to hospital at five to four - only 25 mins early for appointment - no traffic - checked in, sat down, called immediately, done and dusted and back in car at 6 mins past four!!
My team reckon it will be mid to end next week before I get any reaction - again, wait and see- got day off rads today as they are mending the machine.
All have a good weekend .
Hope the aches and pains are easing. I had a headache all day yesterday which was a real nuisance as I was at work but I think looking at a computer screen all day the day before caused it. Seems better today so, onwards and upwards. As Lisa says, I'm enjoying being back at work and getting some hours under my belt. I really thinks it helps mentally to be getting on with normal things - plus the money helps!
We're planning some short breaks which we did a couple of times last year and OH really enjoyed doing low key things as well. Hopefully we'll do something in the next couple of months either UK or quick trip to Europe. I'm off to Paris at the end on Feb (yes, again!) with Youngest Daughter (will now abbreviate to YD and ED - eldest daughter) as she has an open day at the University of London who have a campus there. She didn't get into Cambridge but, to be honest, it's not really 'her' - way too preppy and she's fed up with that as she's been in that environment since she was 11. Really wants to go to Paris for 3 years - who wouldn't - and has a very good offer from them. However a lightening trip but will still enjoy it. OH and I hope to go away in May as I promised him some MotoGP tickets for his birthday so instead of sticking to boring old England for the experience we'll combine it with a few days away. After that we'll wait and see but even if it's just an odd day here and there it's nice to take some time out. Do you have any close friends or family you could go away with Lisa? One of my friends ended up being on her own on a Sunsail holiday last year (long story but 'partner' let her down at last minute) and it ended up being a week full of single people so she had a great time.
Julia - hope rads go well and you don't end up sore like poor Lily. Watch out for tiredness and drink lots of water as Angie has said.
Lily - hope things are calming down, have seen your thread about the 'burning' but not read any of it so far.
Lorraine - hope your back is easing and you are getting it sorted if it needs to be.
Bev - hope the holiday is good, I know you won't read this right now but I'm sure you will when you get back and have bored us silly with your holiday photos!!
Take care everyone else, have a good weekend, I'm off to work now for the morning only - thank goodness, however the afternoon is less 'exciting' as it involves Tesco and internet car insurance quotes!
Heya Ladies.. wow so much to catch up on and no time. It's a work retreat this weekend and I can hardly stay away. Went back to bed until 30 mins ago. and now I really must get some work done.
Hi all: Well am back at work having had best part of three weeks off – so long since I have been here could hardly remember where it was!
Having read thru all of your posts on here and our previous mammoth message board, it seems that we are doing OK generally, just moving on to other things. Shame about the bad backs – nothing worse and it makes you feel like such a creaky old lady – I already am but some of you gals are only kids!
Lily you seem to have your hands full with the upcoming wedding and the costs seem horrendous. I didn't bother with the big white thing just did the registry office thing in mid February – snow on the ground and blazing sunshine. I think these things take on a life of their own if you are not careful. But I am sure you will all have a fab time.
Angie: Hope the packing is going OK – I've never moved house on my own – stayed with parents until married and we have been in the same house for nearly 40 years! You could say we like it here. Biggest problem is the garden – one third acre but hopefully have found gardening girl in the village who will be back to work when the weather eases up. I am a chucker – OH is a hoarder – "What are you keeping that for?" "Ah it may come in useful one day!" I chuck whatever away and say – when you miss it let me know!!!
Hair seems to have stopped growing – must be the cold weather, but there is sufficient for around the house and with friends but too thin on top for going out and about so it is still wiggies.
Have had first three fryings – fourth one today, get day off tomorrow as they are servicing the machine – since it broke down three times during my two one minute zaps, think it needs a new rubber band. So far no effects. Am ladling on the aqueous muck and still using it as shower gel, but – as I keep saying – SFSG (so far so good) but guess it will start to hit me next week. Still haven't seen the onc about future treatment but no doubt they will get around to that at the end of next week. My unit is just the room with the rad machine and you take your clobber off in there. There are six people attached to the unit – four female, two blokes, one a young trainee. One of the girls plays golf with one of my best mates so that is nice. After the initial one you don't really worry about lying there and chatting to 20 year old about his future!!!
Just picking up on the NY resolutions: always the same really – lose weight, drink less, move about more but starting in January – particularly this January – is a no go. Will wait until the rads are over and then get into gear. The keeping positive point is a good one, Nicky, but, as you say sometimes it all gets to you. It is almost twelve months now since I found the lump and from there it pretty much has been downhill although I have not suffered anywhere near as much as some of you gals, but it is looking at the future which is difficult.
Like the carpe diem – also translates as "pick the day when it is ripe" as well as seize the day (no I am not a Latin scholar but just found another version of the translation and like it!).
Time I got off here and did some work, also nearly time for lunchtime walk – just seen the weather forecast for next week – heavy rain and gales – Oh good!!
Chins up girls (no matter how many we have!!) we have got rid of 2008 and now let's look forward to 2009.
Love to all
hands warmer today! Appointments commence next week and chasing one up re lymphodema as my elbow is much more swollen now - really dont want to have to wear an obvious sleeve all the time! Diet going well, might not seem like much but I havent have a beverage since Sunday, oh maybe that is why I am not sleeping!!!!! I looked well on Monday but as the week wearing on Im looking tired and worn out at night but yoga starts next Thrusday!!
Holidays...... well Ive started looking at recon and going to try and push my breast MRI which spots things at a much earlier stage but they only do about 100 a year and on brca carriers so if that is all clear I will hopefully book in for later in the year , sad but I want some time back at work! I was also thinking my parents go on holiday to Florida in May and might surprise them and land for a week, but need to think about it first as not sure how I will handle swimming costume, vest tops as my scar is sooo high so will wait and see. Might have a trip to Dublin for some family birthday, have withdrawel symptons as havent been last year and go every year. Maybe a little trip somewhere nice in england would be better and then have a bigger one next year - bit hard as I dont have any single friends.
Well better get back to it!!!
p.s. Lily, sounds like you will really have your hands full when you go back to work! I said I would be more sensible but already got a lot on boss thinks Im back on form (which is nice to hear....but) and already havent left at home time yet!!!
hi everyone, its the old lady (well thats what i feel like anyway), the back is still the same , i have had to say i cant go in work tommorow, because i still cant get about properly and i cant bend which i need to to pick up the little ones. ive tried just talking to them but they wont settle sometimes.
i feel awful taking time off but i cant do nothing about this,so i just have done what i can do, heat pad, tabs,and seen the doc man thats all i can do i dont like the situation but what choice do i have but to accept it? i am concerned i wont manage the job because i find it really hard getting up and down off the floor as well, my joints ache so much, anyone else? they seemed understanding at work, but who knows what there thinking, but again its out of my control.
i think youd better find your self a sugar daddy, to pay for the wedding, that would be the answer to all your troubles? what you where saying about being here in the future, rang a few bells,, i try to not think about it most of the time, but if the truths known now and again i fear for my children, if im not around because we share certain things now, which they dont talk to their father about. but i try to pull myself back to reality and think why worry about things that might not happen, my husband just says nobody knows how long theyve got. so the old saying, "dont worry about tommorow, for today as enough of its own worries." is true i say. and its a lot easier to cope with the present day, so if we just focus on that well be ok.
take care everyone.x
hope your back is better, its just horrid isnt it! im more frustrated by this than bc i think!
congratulations on being back at work all of you. I guess I am the last one to make that big step. Lazy bones. Mind you teaching is heavy on stress, so you have to feel pretty strong to get out there and do battle with the masses. I am thinking of going back in about 3 weeks so I will work for 3 weeks before half term in case I can't keep up with things. It is mainly the huge amounts of marking to be done and reports take hours. I used to work all weekend and most evenings and really have to try to get a better balance to reduce stress. I am now used to having more personal time too. I am looking forward to getting full wages back again. We have managed ok but changed our lifestyle quite a bit as we usually eat out a lot and treat the family to meals. Tomato soup at home for the last 4 months!! LOL .
My son has his first A level module tomorrow so I have been testing him on business studies most evenings. I hope it is going in! He runs out of time in most exams so I have been trying to get him out of his usual horizontally relaxed state. He gets distracted in a second by tv, phone,ipod, movies, football, girls!! You name it, anything is better than school work right now. I might have to go out shopping to distract myself tomorrow as I now have all the facts roaring round my head. I had my Grandson today as he was still too poorly to go to nursery. Not fair I had to give him 2 doses of nasty penicillin!!! He was not impressed and did a tongue block to tip it off the spoon, a real expert!
Is anyone going away this year, apart from bev who is somewhere nice as we speak? I am going to book a holiday in the next week to encourage myself to go back to work! Tehs chools break up really early this year in our area so we can catch a cheaper deal sometimes. Always high seson when we go away unfortunately
Lisa my daughter gets really cold hands and has been wearing fingerless gloves, don't know if that would help you? Nicky hope the work pile goes down and the brain says the right things on the phone. I say really stupid things and it drives me mad. it will be terrible when I am back at school!
Unfortunately coldness in the hands is a side effect of Arimidex :-( Hope you warm up soon!
1st day back was OK, at least the office is warm. Caught up on lots I was meant to do in December and now ploughing through all the calls I have to make this month! At least it keeps me busy!
Day 3 at work and could fall asleep if I wasnt in a frozen upright position - think or hope its a side effect of the tablets as just cant get warm, my fingers are the worst and at night have fire on and heating and can walk dog wrapped up and be okay but then sit cold in house! Wierd eh! Think we all have aches and pains hopefully downto weather too!!
Angie - good luck with the packing
Nicky - good luck today
Lorraine - hope the back feels easier soon
Lily - wowsers, get saving!!!!
Brrrrr, it's cold isn't it? Last day of 'freedom' for me yesterday as I'm back at work today. It's so strange having worked all through chemo (when I could) and then been laid low since then especially during December when I didn't work at all. It will be odd going back but I'm looking forward to it as a) I will be earning money again, b) They will be heating me during the day, c) I will be back with friends and d) there's nothing else to do in January and February! I chased around yesterday doing most of my odds and sods but still have a long list of things to catch up on. I'm not back full time yet so I will take it easy and still have a couple of days off a week. All of you who are back at work I hope it's going OK and be careful that you don't get too tired even if it seems your job is 'easy'. Sounds like yours isn't at the moment, Lorraine. It's so easy to pull your back and I expect we are all a lot less strong than we think we are. I hope it calms down with some painkillers or just not bending again - maybe see your GP if things don't improve today? Is it in an area where you have mets? I would think that they (it) may be weaker anyway so may cause more pain than other places. Try and rest up today if you have the day off, it would be awful if this stops you going back this week to work, I'm sure they'd understand but, as you say, doesn't look so good on your 4th day!
Angie - hope your back improves as well and the packing goes well. Are you a hoarder or a ditcher? I throw out all sorts of things and then remember them a few years later when I either need them or they are back in fashion! Can't be doing with clutter though - now, why does that surprise you all? Exciting to be moving though especially if it's in the same area - it must mean you love being there. We moved back to our 'original' area to this house 3 years ago and it's the best thing we did. We'd only gone about 10 miles away but to a world of difference - and old people! We love being back here where most of our friends are plus it's so convenient for all sorts of things. Hope the weather doesn't hold you up with any clearing up, at least it's not pouring.
Lily - wow, scary numbers you're talking about for the wedding! I think I'd feel similar that it would be nice to give them the money and have a much quieter celebration but you also want to do what they would want. With both of mine off to uni in September I'm hoping we have a few more years before any such plans start being talked about! Hubby's are very positive and don't like to hear the 'not sure if I'll be here bit'. I'm further down the road on that one (unfortunately) but it's something I try not to think about and OH definitely doesn't so I guess we won't. Our good friend Lorraine has the right attitude on that one! On the H front, I was in M & S yesterday and saw a lady with a short crop, like mine, but it was almost silver. It got me thinking again about going light or blond! Will discuss with my errant hairdresser when I track him down but will stick to wiggie for a few more weeks. Just want it all to look good for daughter's 18th.
Lisa - hope memory improves - I hope mine is OK when I get back today, at times the words do not come out right which is a pain as my job is to talk on the phone all day!
Will have to sign off now as youngest needs to print off something before heading to college.
Sorry to all I've not mentioned and hope you are all doing OK and not freezing!
thanks for all your messages. Well the expensive and the cheaper venue have been more or less removed from the list, which leaves us with her final 2 favourites next weekend, both start at Â£8000 (ok if I say it quickly)!!! Now you see why I am worried about my Victor wanting to splash out on anything to make it perfect. The expensive one was almost Â£13000 so I expected something really special for that. I would rather they paid it off their mortgage or had a fantastic honeymoon and had a smaller do. I have also had to start dropping hints to people that they might not be invited. Not a nice task but I thought if I mentioned it looks like it will be a small wedding as very expensive, and that they are choosing the guest list, no-one would try to work on me. My Mother has already had 4 attempts at who is bridesmaid so I am protecting my daughter from getting a guilt complex about her own wedding. She is very sensitive about these sort of things normally but has been determined to make it her day and have her sisters and her best friend standing next to her, and not stray relatives of the right age. I am not at all patient with any negative comments from others or interference so hope that stops soon. Still better I hear it and then she can carry on sailing along on her little cloud of happiness with a big grin on her face. Enough of weddings for now.
Angie, I agree aqueous is rubbish. It got so annoying that I rang the hospital and was sent to the GP for hydrocortisone cream. The nurse said I was the 2nd lady to go in like that and she did not ahve any expertise on the matter so prescribed what they said. The rads nurse said you cannot use Zinc creams while having treatment because of the metal content but was not sure about afterwards. I wanted to use sudocrem. The local little Boots did not have aloe vera cream to try!! Anyway the cortisone has taken the sting out immediately and it has now moved on to itching. Is yours really dark? Mine is bordering on Jamaican colouring and peeling a bit tonight. I tried the aluminium free doedorants but they are hopeless. A researcher told a friend that when they dissect armpit nodes they find aluminium, so advised her to avoid it. My good intentions have gone again. I have read that the greatest threat is being overweight so that is my big one to work on, might try the others later. I really want to swim as exercise though. M & S food would be great but the venues will only let you use approved caterers, who start at a high price per head, that is where most of the cost is coming from. Nicky well done for fixing the boiler, my Mum's does that if the water pressure changes and has to reset it. It went 3 times recently so might be the cold weather I guess. A bit late to get the to elope, might suggest that to the other 3 though!! I would get saving now for your 2. There is a lot of peer pressure to have a big event that we could do without. I hated taking the tinsel down too and moped about a bit. Focusing on her 18th sounds like a good idea. The wedding makes me go maudlin too at times as it is so far away. I ventured the ccomment to Victor 'I hope I am still here to see it' and he said that was a ridiculous thing to say. You just can't help it some says can you? He said he has not for one single minute thought I might not make it through this. Well glad one of us was ok then! Must have been me doing all the worrying and grey hairs. Nice to have that level of belief and peace of mind. I am still working on mine though. Really hope you get your H how you want it soon.
Lisa I have not been to work for 10 months now. Well done you for getting it all back together again. Hope the memory kicks in to do all the new jobs!! I am frozen all the time too. Took my temp yesterday and it was 34.4, my friend said the chemo might have affected my thyroid. If I am going to get thyroid trouble I am only accepting the kind that makes you thin, not the put on weight one!!! Enjoy your books again.
Lorraine hope your back eases soon. Could you try kneeling down to talk to the children instead of picking them up? Hope it is not too painful now. Same for Angie's poor back too. I will be very careful with my big tank of a grandson when he says pick me up Nanna. He has had a high temo since new years eve when he was sick on me, so went to the Gp today. Little dear screamed from the second he went in apparently so the doc gave in and gave her antibiotics as could not get his stethoscope near his chest. Glad I don't have to talk him into taking the medicine!
Keep warm everyone
That's so odd. Did exactly the same thing 5 days ago... bent over to stroke the dog... wasn't even picking anything up, been like a little old lady since.
I can only guess that we're all a bit weak.
I got get packing to move too!
im a little frustrated today, feel fine in myself but my back is really painful, i bent to pick up one of the little ones and my back went. i could hardly move, they were understanding but it dont look good on your 4th day,(ive never suffered with back pain before..) another reason i need to lose this weight.i hope it gets better tommorow when im off, dont wont to finish the job i like it. why is nothing plain sailing?
hope you are all well