15-01-2019 10:33 PM
Hi everyone. Nick that is the bloody best news I have heard for ages. Fantastic, well done, well deserved and I am so pleased for you. I know the jinx thing and I am like it myself as my witch powers only work for others. God bless whoever discovered fulvestrant too. You took such a big leap of faith with the heart op and liver surgery and really deserved this.
Mum has been halucinating and has a big water infection, so with a bit of luck there is a reason for all of these weeks and she will improve. I keep telling myself this! I got referred to the hospital too, so no need to nag any more. I was good. Forced to see a different dr by a bad mouthed receptionist in a bad mood 'don't we all!! she said to me, when I asked nicely if I could see the same dr as asked to think about treatments. Or I could wait until mid Feb!! This doc seems to think might not be surgery but as I declined another hands on, she didn't have a lot to go on. Fab news Nick love Lily xxxx
15-01-2019 03:20 PM
Sorry for the lack of communication from me, waiting for results can be a bit of a *ugger at times! Although I wasnt stressing (too much!) its still there in the background and you don't want to say anything either positive or negative. Anyway the results are in, and we can reveal (drum roll) that I'm still stable - hooray. No liver mets are visible on the CT so the op and recovery from the op last year have all been worth it. Buys me a bit more time, which is always a plus. I'm staying on fulvestrant which is by far the easiest treatment I've had even though it means a double injection - one in each buttock - every 4 weeks. So a big sigh of relief and carry on carrying on as us secondary ladies say.
Onto your posts. Lily, it doesnt sound surprising that your Mum is reacting this way after how you have described her behaviour over the years. What a shame she can't see all the hard work you do for her and stop thinking of herself so much. She will really notice all you do when (if) you have your op and literally can't get to her for a few weeks. Maybe it's better she gets on with it all now! It's so sad she is like this, I'm assuming this wasn't always the case and was after your Dad died? I think you do need to stick to your guns though and although you don't want to 'burden' your daughters I'm sure they will all be more than willing to listen and help you if you don't feel you want to share with your Mum. Poor you.
Carole, as always January is such a difficult month. Not much going on and normally very dull weather. I'm trying to get out more for walks, which took a bit of a backseat at the end of last year after my Dad died as I was always off to see my Mum and didn't have time for myself - which is important for all of us to do. We've so far managed 2 pretty good walks, not too long as I realise I can't keep going without a break in the middle to rest my weary legs and hips. Maybe force yourself to get out each day, although you probably do this already with the dogs. Hope Mr P is back soon so you are not too lonely. God only knows what Brexit will bring but I can understand your anxiety and the uncertainty of it all. If only there could have been more give and take when negiotations were taking place as it will affect EU nationals living here as well as UK nationals living abroad, all of whom would like to know what's going to happen.
Lisa, how are you? Busy, busy since going back to work I expect. I hope you find an eating plan that works for you, that you can continue with whilst you are on your many holidays and nights out ha ha. They're the difficult times arent they. At home you can just buy what you should be eating and not have any tempting things in the house. Outside its a whole new world!
Enough from me. Happy January, I'm smiling at least
13-01-2019 09:54 PM
Hello, hope you had a nice weekend.Carole after seeing Greece and even Algeria with snow, I think damp and cold might be the best you can hope for. So many avalanche warnings for skiers, it looks a dangerous time to visit some parts. Its not particularly cold here for January. In fact I haven't even looked for a scarf (sorry Lisa, you might be a touch colder) yet. Some nippy mornings thta's all so far. Plenty of time yet of course. Yes it must be a worry about Brexit. I have had several people tell me they are taking up citizenship where they live, so I think a lot of people have concerns. The unknown is often more worrying than when you actually know what you are dealing with. That links with how I am feeling about this new condition so I will be going to the dr. I have had quite a lot of stabs and odd feelings to make me feel that I could have an emergency. That's probably a little dramatic but I think my slight chest infection with a deep cough has not done me any favours. I had a temperature for a few days and felt under the weather and woke up ticking like a little watch being wound up, but seems to be almost over today. I have a small nag about my knowledge that our treatments increase risk of other conditions so ought to get it checked. probably be a long wait anyway but hoping to be reassured before planning a holiday. My current hope is that its minor and easily fixed, just needing me to be brave and go. So I will. Carol your description of the less she does, the worse she gets accurately describes my situation. I ahve had to grow a thicker skin or I would be crying after most visits. I hate to worry my girls, so mum would be the person I go to for a little tlc and to boost me to do things. Not easy when theperson closes their eyes so they don't have to see you and hangs up on you. Or the new thiung, not answering at all leaving me worried. I did nothing and didn't go over. Later got a call from one of my girls who she had told she had really wanted to see me but I didn't go. Its a game I'm not willing to play. Today she demanded I went over and did everything because she'd told the carer to pack and leave. I said I can't come, bang went the phone. Carer didn't know anything about it when I rang her but they had a small row about trying to get to the commode safely. She also told me today she could no longer ring anyone and pretended she could not open her inhaler (which she did not need). Craol I obviously need you to sort mine out too. Do you think they are related??? You are spot on with your observations, sadly for both of us. Nicky hope your mum continues to make more effort than ours are. Have you managed to keep away from the nasty colds that are around? With a toddler around, you often come in contact with more bugs. Have you news of your scan, that is one thing that has been on my mind. Please let me know when you can, fingers crossed as always for continuing stability.
Lisa how are you feeling now? Have youshaken off your cold yet? Mine has no runny nosejuyst lower in the throat. I need some encouragement on diet so tell me your triumphs to inspire me to start. You always do so well over the first month and I think maybe realising and planning for that slower progress in month 2 might help you get to where you want. Good luck. BTW Carol latest news apparently is that its healthy to have a high carb diet with lots of fibre. They just keep changing theri mind don't they. Love Lily xx
08-01-2019 10:43 AM
Morning, it's damp, cold and very grey here. What is it like for you? I really hate these type of days so roll on some sunshine. Nothing much new this side of the water, except my Brexit worries continue as it's impossible to get an appointment with our prefecture (like council office), I am not alone as I belong to a group who discuss their issues.
Lily sorry that your mum is causing problems, I think it's power for the course unfortunately. We found with our Mum that the less she actually did and had everyone doing everything for her, the less she wanted to do so in the end became completely dependent on others (or lazy!). Even simple things like changing channels on her TV "she couldn't work it out" so gave up until someone did it for her. We had, and still have, a problem with knowing what was true or untrue and made up for the hell of it to cause us more distress. This hasn't changed even in her nursing home. Is your Mum eating ok? This is still a big problem with our Mum, she complains nothing is cooked how she likes it so won't eat. She seems to have no hunger - but I think this is often a problem linked to dementia. Hope it gets better for your peace of mind.
Lisa sounds like you've been hit by a winter virus, I always found breathing steamy water quite good, especially with some tiger balm or vicks in the water. I decided to do low carb as I've heard a lot of good things about it. The idea is that you eat very few carbs but more meat, protein and fat. The fat and protein is meant to keep hunger away and fill you up longer. I've actually gained a kilo in the last week so it is obviously not working for me.
Nicky how are you doing, any news yet on results?
Well that is it for now, keep warm and bug free XXXXX
07-01-2019 10:57 PM
Hi everyone, sounds like we all enjoyed Christmas and the New Year celebrations. Craol you have reminded me about my need to see Barcelona, it looks incredible. The GP sounds so glam and I am surprised as I've asked Victor loads of times about going but he says he doesn't want to, otherwise I might have seen you there one day. I think he's just lazy about the effort to arrange it. You know I always have to get a plan to get him on holiday. No doubt he will be using my problem as a reason to not do anything, so this camel might need to het her head out the sand, to save future holidays!!! Carol my daughter uses a lot of people for her animals and when you find a good one its such a relief to be able to relax when away.
Nicky please let me know when you get your latest results, you know I like to keep up with you. I will have fingers crossed as always but I think you probably have a good idea from how you feel. Such a lovely peaceful spell for you, long may it last. Your visits over the festive season sounded lovely and I will get to see the LOndon fireworks one day but I gather its incredibly busy if you want to be in a prime spot. We also have a lack of trains after about 11pm so rubbish to come back after an event.
Lisa, sorry you have a bug and hope it passes soon, take multi vitamins and anything else that helps you get through. I did laugh when you said you were cutting back and then listed a line of events. Ha ha don't ever change! Mum is back now and causing me a lot of grief as she thinks she is lady muck, just lying down and doing absolutely nothing to help herself or get her independence back. Im worn out from trying to talk her round as she is as stubborn as a mule, so it will be her own fault if she gives up a lovely independent house and life for a wheelchair and nappies. So frustrating as she can walk a little and needs to build up gradually. Her carer is nice but just turns the heating up to maximum (seriously over 30 C and the electric heaters on too) and lies on her bed on her phone grrrrr. No idea which one I need to get tough with, seeing as mum can be a master manipulator at times and no idea what the truth is. I had a good talk to both of them and had to do exactly the same, next day after.Sending my straight talking brother in to sort them out.
Well better buzz off as struggling to get up early in the morning after a long holiday. Are you the same LIsa? Love Lily xxx
06-01-2019 11:37 PM
Hi all, hope everyone has had a nice weekend xx
ive been hit with sinusnpain and a saw dust throat and large glands, worst of it is I'm sooo tired, never been so tired so glad it was a quick 2 day working week, back to full on tomorrow and Lily it might be your first day back 😕. I've not much planned this year as have some money issues so need to stop enjoying myself until I get sorted, that's single house owner life for you lol. End March 4 nights for friends hen party in Tenerife, can't say no as I'm maid of honour but I did manange to get it for under £200 and it's Easter hols so good hunting , then Florida in May Day after friends wedding. Then big save up for parents golden wedding and 70th birthdays ....
Carole, how come you are on low carb diet? I struggle without carbs i get headaches whenever I try xx
Lily, glad you've told family and feel free to express your fears here, it's hard when been op free for so long and a choice thing (in a way).
Nicky, your New Year's Eve sound perfect, how lovely. Well fingers crossed for results and look forward to hearing your holiday plans 👍👍.
well watched dancing on ice so off for a cuppa before bed, no wine for me, gained 10lb in 3 weeks as been away and Xmas and went to town, so liver and guts getting a wee rest and hopefully can reverse any damage or this bridesmaid dress is going to be let out, seen as I ordered a size smaller in my madjesty 😤😤
02-01-2019 04:06 PM
Hi and HAPPY NEW YEAR dear Buddies and thank you all for being here for me in 2018, long may our thread continue.
We had a very quiet, but lovely Christmas Day, Mr P, YD and myself plus the 2 pups. We had video chats with the children in UK, and grandchildren (has to make do). Then a very quiet NY, none of us was awake at French midnight. The fireworks looked amazing and watched via TV.
Yesterday was Aero's first birthday, he didn't have a party lol but was wished a nice day and both pups had a special dinner!
YD flew to Paris early yesterday morning from Toulouse, which is why we were all in bed before midnight. I was a bit worried about her going to Paris as there have been lots of demonstrations recently, however, she got there ok and is staying with a friend on the outskirts. Then back here for the weekend before going back to work next Monday. She was on ABs over Christmas for having bronchitis. The joys of working with young children she seems to have been hit by lots of germs, and headlice
Nicky your NY and Christmas sounded lovely, especially for you seeing GS and how lovely to be there to see the fireworks, well some of them at least. Yes you're right, Brexit is a worry although France's interior Minister has said Brits will keep their rights they have a present, as long as it's the same for French expats in UK. We do have to apply for a card, like a residents card and these are dealt with by each department's "council" equivalent. The problem we have is our department is not giving out appointments. I'm adopting a wait and see attitude as I'm sure after Brexit - deal or no deal - things will become clearer. I wish you good results when you get them, you are amazing and keep active so I'm sure your scans will be good.
Lily thank you for putting yourself first for a change. Don't be scared about the operation and don't worry about them poking around with your bits, you'll be asleep so won't know ha ha. I think a live in carer for your Mum is a good idea, at least for a few weeks and perhaps it's a good idea when you have your op too. Not for you but your Mum, so whilst you are recovering you know your Mum is being cared for? What do you think about Nicky's suggestion of a care home?
Lisa how are you now has your cough gone? I saw that you've over indulged and I am sure you haven't gained as much weight as you think. I'm getting bored with my low carb diet, some of it is good like eating lots of veg but I can't find a good low carb alternative to bread. I've tried the minute muffins but without sugar they're not great. I tried low carb pancakes the other day, YUK.
I joined a pet sitting/house sitting site because we need someone in May when we go to the Barcelona GP. I made a request on saturday lunchtime and by saturday evening I had already had 3 requests. Today I video chatted with someone, it's such a difficult decision though to pick the right person for 2 energetic dogs that even WE find a bit tough to manage at times.
Apart from that, no other news really, it's just too quiet here at the moment Love to all Carole x
02-01-2019 01:47 PM
A Happy New Year from me as well, may it be a good one for us all.
We spent out NYE in London staying at a hotel overnight and having an early sitting for a meal in a nice restaurant. We then walked back to our hotel near Tower Bridge and sat in the rooftop bar enjoying the view before walking down to the river to see the fireworks. We didn’t have a full on view as we were a distance away but saw all the ones that went up above the London Eye, just missed out on the lower ones actually on the river. Then a short walk back for a nightcap before bed. A lovely evening, not stress or too tiring with another couple that we went with. Back home just after lunchtime to see the family which was good before YD headed buck the way we had just come from, London, ready to start back at work today, like everyone else. After a very busy and tiring Christmas I have enjoyed the last few days much more which has been great. Part of that is that my Mum has been spending some time at one of my brother’s, including for NYE, so I’ve had no pressure or need to be visiting which has been nice - the first time I’ve had a ‘week off’ since my Dad died in early October! As to scans, my results appointment has been delayed for a couple of weeks and I can’t be bothered to chase them up (they might not even have been ready in time, well, the report, the scans are always uploaded immediately) so I’m waiting another week or so. After that we will see what is said and plan some holidays around what my next few months of treatment will be. If I continue on fulvestrant that will be easier in all ways, but chemo would scupper a few ideas, so we will see.
Lily, a big decision, and op, to contemplate but as we, and your family, have said you do need to put yourself first. If Mum struggles to be put second well, it sounds like she will have to get used to the idea. I can imagine thoug that it won’t go down well! Maybe, if funds permit, the carer becomes a permanent feature! Sounds like a good plan though to have someone there initially once she’s back home. Btw has she ever considered a retirement home ie not a nursing home but staff on duty to help? Or is she as adamant that she wants to live in her own place despite the stress this causes the family - as is the case with my in laws? Hope some type of compromise can be found.
Lisa, I hope you’ve enjoyed all the time off work and managed to see family and friends. Hoping the new year is good to you and work settles down after the changes of last year.
Carole, hope you all had a good time and that YD and Mr P we’re back for the festive period. I expect you are anxious about Brexit, as you’ve mentioned before, and it must be increasingly worrying when nothing has been decided yet as it could affect you a lot more than it will us.
Anyway must sign off but we will all be here to support each other what ever upheavals happen.
01-01-2019 11:57 PM
Happy new year buddies, happy new year everyone. Hoping it will be a good one for everyone. I was quite happy for it to stay on 2018 as I had mentally decided to delay my decision until the new year. However, having told the family I am now under pressure to think of myself rather than worrying how everyone else will cope if I am not there to run around. It makes sense of course but neatly overlooks my fear factor. I didn't tell anyone until after Christmas and then got everyone trying to make me sit dowm, sending flower, etc, all the lovely fuss I was trying not to let them do, of course, even though I am lucky to have such care,I know this. Victor has forgottem all about it, so only the girls are on the case. Mum is due home any day. which is going to turn my life upside down again. So we are employing a live in carer for a few weeks to take the pressure of all of us as well as giving mum a slave and the comfort of someone nearby should she need help. Not sure which will be most important until she gets there. Today she refused to talk to me because she could not hold the phone! So I am not driving to the hospital, just staying here making plans. When she's well enough she is going to have a good talking to or our relationship will not stay how it has mostly been. Its been a nice day with lots of visitors as usual at the family restaurant. So lots of leftovers for tomorrow before think about eating sensibly. Thanks for reminding me Lisa. Good luck to you with that as well. Glad to hear you have been fussed by everyone, deifnitely deserve it. Have a rest before you start another busy year of hols and days out,no doubt. You do so many lovely things, makes me green with envy.
Nicky hope you had a lovely Christmas and new year with your little gs and hopefully more to come along some time. I think you often wait to get scan results, so fingers crossed things are all going well for you still and long may that last. Will you be planning any holidays soon? I don't know what to plan for this year, as seems likely I will have to go in booooooooo. Carole how was your festive break? Did Mr P and your daughter get back home for some of the days? Hoping you ahd lots of calls too or facetime to enjoy.
Well hugs and best wishes for the coming year love Lily xxxxxxx
01-01-2019 11:36 PM
Hi all, happy new year. Here's to a positive and healthy 2019. Back off to the sofa to nibble and drink wine before detox and diet on Friday 😀. Hope you've all been spoilt rotten, I know I have xx
26-12-2018 11:06 PM
Hi, hope you all had a lovely Christmas with time or calls from the family and some nice presents too. I have been pretty busy with the house full for both days and they all staye dfor the entire day, so a lot of food and drink to cook and serve. I have to say peeling potatoes was the very worst part. I managed to do that before they arrived each day, so my own fault for being up early and organised. Today I also visited mum, which was tricky leaving Victor to hold the fort. He was very pleased with himself that nothing went wrong and he amazizngly manage to empty the dishwasher, lay the table and hoover too while I was gone. Maybe he shouldn't have let me know he is capable of doing all this ha ha. He has been looking after me as he knows how bad visits upset me and had lovely flowers delivered too. So he is in the good books. I might not be in the good books as he surprised me with a watch and I am not keen on it at all. You have them for so many years, I had to be honest, its too heavy for me and I will catch it on clothes as its bulkier than I usually have. Mum actually came out with the new problem infront of people today but I think I got away with it as she was not very clear and waffled a lot until she caught sight of me shhhshing her. I would never have got away with it if the girls were there, that's for sure. My visitor returns tomorrow so the cooking extravaganza continues for a bit longer. I had a very busy but lovely 2 days, hope yours were nice too. Love Lily xxxxxxxxx
25-12-2018 08:15 AM
A very Merry Christmas to all of you. This will probably be the only time in the next few days I get a chance to log on. Hope you all have a lovely time with family and enjoy yourselves. 😊🎅🏻🎄
24-12-2018 10:17 AM
Did anyone else have a problem last week trying to find our last page? It kept taking me to page 1 which was the start of this thread.
Anyway, I just want to wish you all a very Merry Christmas, enjoy the festive time with family and friends and don't worry about over doing it. It's Christmas after all.
Love to all Carole xxx
24-12-2018 12:16 AM
Hi everyone, I don't know where the days have gone to, its been so busy. I got way behind with pressie buying because I lost the usual weekend time visiting mum, who was transferred almost to the next county??? So a 45 min plus journey each way, depending on traffic and what time you leave. I have been very selfish and have just said I don't feel up to the drive so only go when somebody drives me. Even then my greeting is just , there's washing there for you, you know a hello or smile might be nice one of these days. My brother said she was asking why you haven't been and then he told her about my problem. Argggh I told him very specifically not to tell her as I want to decide when I tell the family and definitely not before Christmas. Now I will visit over Christmas with the girls and have to hope she doesn't mention it!!! If she does it will be even worse as they will all hear right on Christmas. It was my decision and I am annoyed. I have had an exercise programme and it has helped already, so not feeling under pressure to make a decision right this minute. Carole thanks I know what you mean about getting it over with but its not really a problem so it makes me dither. I also met 2 people straight after who randomly told me about their keyhole surgery going wrong, one of whom needs a catheter for life, the other was in intensive care as they cut her bowel open accidentally!! Not very good stories to hear soon after the news. Thanks too Lisa, you are so right, the longer it goes between medical things, the worse I am, when really I should be thankful of the gap in time I have been given. I like being busy so I don't remember about it. It is filed in myhhead as not being this year!
Nicky yes you might need to be Dr Nicky on this one ha ha. I don't feel emotional any more just very scared of the actual surgery and very anxious about having people poking about and staring at my parts! I think I would definitely tell the family if it was a dodgy op but this is like a knee replacement, maintenance of old parts of the body, aged prematurely by pregnancies and side effects of chemo and other treatments. Two of them seem anxious about me already from the stress with mum. I liked your story about having lists Nicky. Do you know they are supposed to be a type of therapy. I know 2 people who were struggling generally with life and both were told to have lists of things they wanted to do and had to do. They were told to keep adding things on the end as they occurred or thought of things they would like to do/see and never get to the end of the list. Have you got all your wrapping done yet? I am nowhere near finished wrapping but all bought and delivered now. Post has been difficult here. I have bought far too much too. I was definitely one of the nuts ones. Your gs must be growing so fast and its lovely to see as they look so well but I know what you mean about the weight if they want picking up, especially if they aren't very good at clinging on like a koala to help you. So lovely for you to get all this time with him on your own. I love having mine. How did your latest scan go? Have you heard results or will you wait to hear in the new year? Fingers crossed as always xx . Number 7 is coming along and I think she is waiting for the scan before going public with her lovely news, just in case. Will be thinking of you all at Christmastime and hope you have some lovely hours with the family. Nick will especially think o you this first Christmas without dad as you feel it more at these times. Hope mum is still holding up well. Hugs to all love Lily xxx
23-12-2018 01:05 AM
Hi all, I'm so sorry I've not been around just been so busy with work and tired 24/7 house a bomb site and there's only me.
Lily, how are you doing? Please don't bottle it up. Not sure exactly what op you mean but I know when I had to have my ovaries out I blinking sobbed just agreeing to it. Also because not had to have operation for a long time even more upsetting. Hope you manage to have a nice Xmas and remember parents always give the harder time to the one they know can take it more and do more xxx
carole, hope you are feeling better too, how's the weather looking for Xmas over there?
nicky, omg so wished I hadn't logged on tonight, now I have my nightmare song in my head for bed... it's a small small world la la la la la..... I still subject myself to it. I've never been to the Paris one or at Xmas so would love to see if and I bet you had a magical time seeing little faces light up.
well, I'm off to bed and final wrapping and deliveries tomorrow and housework, then Xmas eve with kids for pizza and Mary popping and our local old fashioned cinema rather than the large multiplex in next town, supporting local xxx
night all x
18-12-2018 07:09 AM
I hope you are getting your head around the fact that you will need to have an op and that it is the best thing for you to do. Obviously this is going to affect you emotionally as well as physically so take your time. If you feel you need to tell your girls, so you are not bottling it all up over a stressful time like Christmas you should. A problem shared nd all that. However if you’d rather not then that is your choice as well. I know my girls always want me to tell them everything and over the years have hated it when I’ve not shared. Also, if you’re like me you will be writing list after list after list to empty all those thoughts in your head! I have small daily lists at the moment to try and get some clear space in my head and see a way forward. I find writing things down does empty them out a bit and I find I can sleep better. Not that I have too much to do just loads and loads of wrapping and some last minute bits to get, gift cards etc, plus of course planning all the meals which, as head of the kitchen, is also put down to me! YD will help once she’s back (luckily she has the whole Christmas and NY off this year) but she’s not use at the moment as she’s working until this Saturday evening. It’s not the actual Christmas food, that’s all sorted, it’s thinking about meals leading up to then (when the usually quiet shops go absolutely nuts as everyone is buying for what seems is going to be a nuclear attack!).
So a busy day for me ticking off a few things on my list (well, one of my lists!) after a day of GS sitting both Friday and yesterday. Friday he was a little dreamboy, so cute and not a care in the world, yesterday, not so much! It does exhaust me and because he’s so tall (Dad is 6’ 5”!) he’s the weight and size of a 2-3 year old so is heavy to pick up when he’s at an age he still wants picking up a lot. Absolutely knackered yesterday. Then up early today to get my cuppa and some toast inside me before I have my 4 hours of nothing ahead of my scan later this morning. I so hate the mid morning times I get sometimes as after not eating since your evening meal you then can’t eat before the scan by which time my blood sugar levels have hit the floor! Hence setting the alarm and getting up early (early for me at any rate) to keep hunger at bay. At least it means I have an extra hour or two to get some things done this morning so there is a plus side.
Enough about me, how is everyone doing? All ready for the big day next week? We will have immediate family here, including my Mum but sadly not my Dad ☹️. So we are making it an extra special time for her and she will be staying over for a few nights which they hadn’t usually done as they live fairly close by. Hope all of you are prepared and looking forward to spending time away from work (Lily and Lisa) and with family (all of us)
Take care, and good luck with No7 Lily.
13-12-2018 10:03 PM
Hi, thanks girls. I can type about it but as soon as I speak my eyes fill up and then I am completely gone whenever somebody is kind, so just decided to try to bottle it up until after Christmas. Yes its gynae Carole but haven't hit the request button to find out quite how much involved. Just told by gp big op. Left to just decide whether to do something now or wait, so I thought enjoy Christmas first before worrying anyone. I dearly wanted to tell my mum but when I got there she was in a beastly mood and shut her eyes so she couldn't see me and then said I better go. My brother went an hour later and laughed that he had a lovely visit. It hurt. It has happened the other way round so not sure why I am the villain after doing some frankly dodgy washing after the ward was shut down with the usual virus. So no visitors allowed in. Gave me time to relax a bit. My insomnia is insane with so much in my head. At least it gives me extra hours to get stuff done, on the bright side. Yes you are all right I should do this and will. When you teach, you have to put the kids futures ahead of yourself too. Family are fab despite not knowing and its very early days but lucky 7 is on the way, all being well. This was the best news/medicine ever. A lot to be thankful for as always. Just keep kicking me up the backside, I need it. Love to all Lily xx
13-12-2018 07:49 PM
12-12-2018 02:23 PM
Oh no, poor you Lily. Yet another problem to deal with and one that you know you have to take but will be trying to do your best for you Mum. For what its worth, and all I have had to go through over the past 10 plus years of having secondary BC, you have to put yourself first and unfortunately you have to be selfish. If you don't look after yourself and do the right things for YOU, you will of no help to anyone else. You will have to shift some of the 'carer' responsibility to others who, at this point, may have more time and be in better health to assist. As and when yiou have to have your op you should try to suit your own timescales and 'best' time - although we of course know the NHS isnt able to fit around our own plans or life styles so that may be difficult. I am imagining it will be the usuallong recovery period and you will need to make sure you recover, for your own health and for your girls and grandchildren. Again, and I may sound harsh about this they are your future so you have to be around for them. I have had to make the same choices and maybe not spend as much time as I should have with my parents (especially poignant given my Dad died suddenly) but I have focussed my time around my offspring. Having parents die is the 'normal' order of nature, if I'd neglected myself, which in turn would impact my daughters and their lives I would not like the life I now lead or be in a position to lead it.
Sorry a bit of a lecture but I hope it gives you some support in what will be a difficult time. Bloody cancer - the disease that keeps on giving, hmmmmm.
On a quick but different note I am home from the land of the Mouse - ie Disneyland Paris. 25 years to the day that we went there first for ED's 5th birthday! A busy, tiring, cold and wet (well it is in Northern France for heavens sake!) and expensive trip. But it was lovely to spend time together and see our little grandson have his first taste of the parks (I'm sure there will be many more trips if his Mum has anything to do with it). Although it isnt a good time to go (brrrrrr) it was very magical and completely over-the-top Christmassy. He of course loved 'It's a small world' espcially all the windmills which he has had a fascination with ever since he was about 5 months old and I bought him one and was one of his first words! 'Wer-wer' as he calls them.
Hope everyone ekse is doing OK. Lily, keep on sharing your problems and decisions with us, it is a good place to do it as we all know each other so well after all these years and means we dont have to offload on our immediate family and friends.
08-12-2018 12:23 AM
Hi everyone, thank you so much for your messages. I am so thrilled she made it through the op and she was so feisty it made me laugh. Now the long haul of trying to keep everything going and also get to the hospital to visit is kicking in and my brother and I are both shattered. Neither of us can even think about what will happen when she gets out of hospital. So it was with some trepidation that I went to the dr myself and was told I have a problem myself. Great. Just what I needed. Its a kick back to having a giant baby and the concrete effects of epirubicine on the insides, so now my organs and bits are all heading south instead of staying where they should be. Everything is collapsing it seems and most likely i will need an op unless I can stand it/get lucky. Most of the treatments are a no no because of the b c as they involve the hormones that are not my friends. The op has quite a lengthy recovery time including not being able to do everything I have to do for mum. I am struggling not to cry about it, so I haven't told anyone yet, just you. No point making everyone in the family feel worse.I couldn't visit mum tonight because I knew I would cry as soon as I saw her and would want to tell her. Then she would get in a state saying what shall I do and then get depressed she can't help. Hopefully it won't feel so bad in the morning. I don't like to leave on a miserable note, so it is with deep sorrow that I tell you I am no longer able to do trampolining. Ha ha. Lily x
Nicky i am pleased your mum is managing so well and hope she continues to do well. Sorry you lost your lovely dad xx