04-11-2018 11:12 AM
It will do darling, but I can assure you, being now 2 years post and 22 months post active treatment completed, things do get better and you do get back to some sort of "normal" albeit it a different one as a result of your experience.
Do you have a Maggies Centre or McMillan Centre near as they might be able to help with the counselling sessions, also speak to your breast care nurse, I know when I was diagnosed mine said that they could arrange some counselling for me when and if I needed it. I actually had mine through work, my boss recognised that I was struggling and she sorted it for me.
I can totally relate to where you are with regard to your hubby, my partner has MS, is housebound and I am his carer so he was not able to accompany me on any of my appointments etc., I have a wonderful network of friends who stepped in to support me, however when you are caring for someone it put that bit more pressure on you, so please make sure you make time for you as well
04-11-2018 10:47 AM
04-11-2018 08:32 AM
I just wanted to send you a big virtual hug because you really need it.
It is hard enough contending with the diagnosis and all that imposes on us but you are also trying to come to terms with your mum passing, for which I want to send my condolences to you.
I remember when I was having my rads there was a day when I had just had enough of it all, my life being dictated for 5 weeks by this one apt, I told them I didnt want to do it any more, burst into tears, my lovely rads nurse hugged me, gave me a box of tissues and sat talking to me until I was ready to carry on.
As much as people are trying to be positive and thinking that they are boosting you, the comments do not help yes you are coping, yes you are doing well, because you have to, but inside you are still trying to make sense of what has happened to you and what you are going through, that will take time. perhaps in the coming weeks you might consider getting some counselling which might help you to process everything and allow you to grieve for your mum and what has happened to you. I know I found it very restorative as I was in a safe comforrtable environment with someone who did not know me and I could be honest about the way I was feeling, she was able to make sense of it all for me.
You are right about this forum and the ladies on here who can totally relate to what you are going through and feeling. Come on here whenever you want there will always be someone to help and support you. You can rant, rave, cry whatever here we are here for you
04-11-2018 06:25 AM
I’ve had 7 of 20 sessions so far, the last 5 are a breast boost, due to a narrow margin. I’m starting to get tired, and my skin is itchy, so using cream twice a day, and keeping Aloe Vera gel in the fridge. It still feels like a mountain to climb to get to the end. It’s not helped by having a 56 mile round trip every day either, and twice a week I’m having to drive it on my own, as my husband can’t come on those days. My appointment times vary every day, so finding that hard too, some days they’re early mornings, and others late afternoon, so it feels like Radiotherapy totally dominates my life. The staff are all friendly, but lying on a table whilst they move you a little in the right direction, draw pen marks on your breast whilst they call out measurements, and holding your breath for 20 seconds, just seems de-humanising somehow. I’m struggling with the concept of being a cancer patient anyway, but there’s no denying it when you’re having Radiotherapy. Lying there on your own, on a table, with the disembodied voice of a radiotherapist issuing instructions just seems to reinforce what a lonely experience it all is. Also my Mum died 8 weeks before I was diagnosed, and I haven’t had time to process that yet, and it’s her birthday next week, the first one since I lost her, but I’ll have to go to Radiotherapy, rather than be able to grieve for her as I would like. I’m fed up of people saying “it’s good they caught it early”, or “you’re coping so well”! I don’t have a choice about coping, and do what most of us do, put on a brave face, to spare others, when really my heart is breaking. Also Letrozole doesn’t help, I’m having 12-20 hot flushes every day, it’s just a constant reminder of how life has changed. I’m grateful for free treatment, and that modern treatment is very effective. Sorry for the moan, but I don’t think anyone else but fellow patients can fully understand how it feels to cope with the treatment, and the stress it brings.
03-11-2018 09:42 PM
Hi Everyone - Had hoped to start my radiotherapy 10 days ago in october but had my first treatment session this Thursday 1st November, the 56 days wait time made me anxious aka 56 days after 2nd Surgery.
Was told 15 sessions , and as always my expectations are never met as I assumed it would be 5, 5 and 5
I accepted as you have no choice that appointments could be any time of day and and that I would know the times of the following week at the end of the 1st week
So had had two so far but wasnt happy to learn that my week #2 will only be x 4 session as the hospital cant fit me in - on Friday which means I will have an interuption not of the standard two days over the weekend but 3 - Monday night #3 of 15 is at 7pm which isnt ideal but at least they are fitting me in, the man who gave me my appointment booklet assured me there was no difference to reocurrence rate if treatments are not consecutive and further informed me there had been recent trails yet everything i have read online states to the contrary so Monday morning I will email oncology and ask if they can find another hospital for Friday.
My journey from February to now hasnt been seamless made to feel am on a conveyor belt, after Radiotherapy and who knows how many weeks I assumed it would be 3 but now it will defo be 4 I then start on my endochrine therapy - taxmofen OR Letrozol was always referenced but its #exemestan dreading taking as it will as we know destroy all my oestrogen yet surely the body needs some oestrogen
I so grateful to Breast Cancer Care and will post on here my radiotherapy 13 more sessions to go,
Maybe I am doing my self a disservice pushing for 5 consecutive treatments as having 3 days off could be good but on the other hand it published studies show the reocurrence rate is higher for those who are not compliant ie miss a session even if they make up the session afterwards.
03-11-2018 03:46 PM
Hi emac, I had to go back for a second CT scan doing the breath holding too. It is a bit daunting knowing I will have to do that for each session. My treatment starts on Wednesday 7th - just want to get going with it now and get it over with. Hope all goes well for you, and everyone else on here
02-11-2018 08:00 PM
Joining this thread as im due to start radiotherapy next week as the last part of my treatment (having had chemo and then surgery). Feel i have had the least preparation about what to expect. Went for my planning CT after seeing the consultant and changing from 3 to 4 weeks of radiotherapy as initially told, and then had a phone call to say they wanted to extend the area being treated to covered (which was already my breast, axilla and neck) to include both chest bone nodes as well. Had to go back to have another CT with breath holding to replan things so i feel a bit stressed. No one has been able to say whether they saw something on the planning CT that is a reason to change the plan or whether the consultant has just decided to change his mind and be over cautious....... Anyway, im glad im a swimmer as i can imagine breath holding for 30 seconds might be hard for some people.
02-11-2018 06:53 PM
02-11-2018 03:48 PM
Hi ladies I have been on Anastrozole for 9 weeks and just started rads, I was told it is ok to stay on them for radiotherapy but not if you have chemo, I have been lucky that any se's I have had up to now have been manageable , but I wouldn't want to be coping with bad se's and rads at the same time, best wishes to all starting rads this month, all I can say is its not as bad as I imagined and the staff are lovely and always willing to answer questions, sorry your experience has not been so good Charlie. Fezzy x
02-11-2018 09:24 AM
02-11-2018 09:17 AM
02-11-2018 08:43 AM
My Oncologist said I could start my tamoxifen before or after my rads he said it would not make any difference, I started them a month before I started rads.
Honestly it is the fear of the unknown that makes us nervous and as always with the real thing it is never as bad as we imagine it to be. The first apt will be longer than the rest of them as they have to go through all the measurements and information from your oncologist, plus if it is like mine I had a talk with a rads nurse first who explained what would happen etc., so in all it was about 30 minutes. After that the actuall sessions themselves were only 10/15 mins from undressing and getting dressed again.
Hope this helps
02-11-2018 08:40 AM
02-11-2018 07:06 AM
02-11-2018 07:03 AM
02-11-2018 06:52 AM
01-11-2018 09:33 PM
01-11-2018 09:26 PM
hi ladies hope you are all getting on ok. It was day two of rads today, has anyone else been told its best not to use cream just before treatment as it can act like a second skin and rads might not be as effective. Early days yet but not feeling any effects yet just maybe a bit more tired, only 18 more to go .... Fezzy x
31-10-2018 02:23 PM
Oh I remember that moment very well. I had gone to my apt, they were running late and I was in a bad mood, the nurse asked me how I was to which I burst out crying and said I did not want to do it any more, that I was fed up with this apt controlling my life every day, she just put her arms around me gave me a hug and a box of tissues, after a few minutes we got on with it.
I can honestly say the worst part of it was the going back and forward to the hospital every day, which did not help if they were running behind, but as you say you are halfway there now so it will not be long before you are finished.
Sending you hugs