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Member
Posts: 256
Registered: ‎18-04-2018

Re: Feel like a fraud

Hi Jude

i do hope your blood results were back in good time today and you could go ahead with your chemo. It sounds strange to say hope you had chemo- but if you're like me You just want to get on with it without any hiccups. And now time to look after yourself .

ive done better today, bone pain and aches gone, but the mouth thrush and sore now kicked in again😥. Hubble though potato rosti might be good- any other potato is a no no-was really looking forward to but tasted like eating a spoonful of lard!! My youngest,7, asked how I knew what lard tastes like!! 😂😂. 

Tomorrow my PICC line coming out😀Think this will be a big step for me, hope it doesn't hurt!

take care xx

Member
Posts: 72
Registered: ‎22-06-2018

Re: Feel like a fraud

Yes I had a great weekend thank you. Very busy but fun. I finally managed to celebrate my 60th birthday properly yesterday with hubby and some friends. It was lovely.

 

Hope all has gone well for you today and you’re getting through it.

Thinking of you.

Take care, 

love Rosie xxx

 

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Member
Posts: 201
Registered: ‎23-06-2018

Re: Feel like a fraud

Thanks Rosie

Hopefully I’ll be good to go! Fingers crossed 🤞

Hope you have had a good weekend

Take care

Jude x


Member
Posts: 72
Registered: ‎22-06-2018

Re: Feel like a fraud

Hello Jem

 

Sorry to hear that the se’s this time have been miserable and are making you feel so tired as well.

Sleep is a body’s way of healing and you’ve been through so much. Do hope you feel better soon.

In the meantime be kind to yourself and go with it.

sending you some positive thoughts from France.

Take care.

Love Rosie xx

Member
Posts: 72
Registered: ‎22-06-2018

Re: Feel like a fraud

Hi Jude

I just wanted to wish you well for tomorrow. Third chemo and you’ll be halfway through!!!

 

I’ll be thinking about you and cheering you on. Hope that all the results are in too, ready to go.

Take care

Love Rosie xx

Member
Posts: 201
Registered: ‎23-06-2018

Re: Feel like a fraud

Hi Jem

Poor you struggling though the blooming horrible side effects - that fatigue is so debilitating. Hope you get through the next couple of days & then start to improve. Look after yourself as you could do without any dramas on this last cycle.
Hope the children have settled in well to their new school years
At the hospital I go to I have my blood test on a Friday morning & then you phone the chemo ward after 4pm to check you are ok for chemo. On Friday they didn’t have my test results back so have to phone 8.30 Monday morning - not sure what happens if there’s a problem? Presumably I’d have to go in anyway for some treatment?
Anyway all things being equal I’m in the chair 10am tomorrow & like you say I’ll then be halfway through 😀

Take lots of care

Jude x
Member
Posts: 256
Registered: ‎18-04-2018

Re: Feel like a fraud

Hi Jude
Hope all goes well tomorrow- you are doing amazingly wel. Half way😊but just focus on this cycle.
Side effects been miserable here this weekend- not my bed from the sofa and slept lots. However not been into hospital with high temp.
I’ve had a picc line in for chemo- comes out on Tuesday 😊. Think it will feel real- I’ve finished then.
Take care xx
Member
Posts: 201
Registered: ‎23-06-2018

Re: Feel like a fraud

Thanks Rosie

I’m having a lovely 3rd week just gearing myself up
for it again next Monday
But then I’ll be half way though so getting there!

Hope you are keeping well

Take care

Jude x
Member
Posts: 201
Registered: ‎23-06-2018

Re: Feel like a fraud

Hi Jem

Last chemo session completed! 🛎
Well done you!
I know you’ve got to get through the pesky side effects of this last cycle so take double care to stay well though them
I’m so pleased for you & the family - been able to do the new school year run is brilliant in the circumstances. I’m in awe of how you mums with younger children cope with the day to day
I hope you all have a fabulous end of chemo party 🎈 🎉
I’m having my good week & have got out with friends for lunch a couple of times which has been lovely - 3rd cycle starts next Monday but then I’ll be half way through

Take care

Jude x
Member
Posts: 72
Registered: ‎22-06-2018

Re: Feel like a fraud

Hi Jude

I hope you are doing ok and taking it easy!!

Sending hugs to you.

love Rosie xx

Member
Posts: 72
Registered: ‎22-06-2018

Re: Feel like a fraud

Hi Jem

 

Congratulations on getting through last chemo and being able to ring those bells 🎉🤗🛎🛎🛎!!

It is emotional...even I felt it after the rads and didn’t need to take the chemo pathway.

 

Glad to hear you are resting today and making time for yourself but also pleased that you were able to take your daughter to school. Very important for both of you (I’m a retired teacher, so know how much it means😉). How lovely also that your children are planning a celebration together - enjoy the chocolate and seeing them happy too. 

I hope your se’s are not too awful and I’ll be thinking of you. That’s it!!! Yay!!!!

Enjoy your rest and relaxation and let the family all spoil you.

Hugs. Take care.

love Rosie xx

Member
Posts: 256
Registered: ‎18-04-2018

Re: Feel like a fraud

Hi Jude and Rosie (& other lovely ladies)
Hope you are both ok. When is next chemo Jude ?
Good news here - last chemo was yesterday 😊😊🛎🎉, there is an end point Jude but just take each cycle at a time. I got very emotional as last chemo bag finished but then was really sick 😖. Feeling ok today and was so pleased to be able to take my youngest 2 to school today, youngest started Juniors so really wanted to take her. All went well, eldest goes back tomorrow and being spoilt by grandparents today 😊. Children had 3 bells to ring yesterday and they are in charge of planning celebration in a couple of weeks- appears to revolve around chocolate and games 😊- I need to get over se first- not looking forward to next 9 days- today just washed out so resting and going to go for walk later.
Take care xx
Member
Posts: 201
Registered: ‎23-06-2018

Re: Feel like a fraud

Have a lovely weekend Rosie x
Member
Posts: 72
Registered: ‎22-06-2018

Re: Feel like a fraud

Hi Jude

 

Yes, it was my HER2 test that came back as borderline, so they did a FISH test which takes longer for the results to come through. The surgeon was more optimistic than I and said, in her opinion, she thought it would be negative. It was an anxious wait and that’s when I geared myself up for chemo.

However she was right...so I didn’t have to have to go down that route. But as others have said, you throw everything at this disease, don’t you?

Have a good weekend and take care too.

love Rosie xx

Member
Posts: 201
Registered: ‎23-06-2018

Re: Feel like a fraud

Hi Rosie

I was the opposite to you, I was initially told an op & rads so wasn’t really prepared for chemo. My tumours were HER2+ & you can only have herceptin alongside chemo

Take care

Jude x
Member
Posts: 72
Registered: ‎22-06-2018

Re: Feel like a fraud

Hi Jude

Thanks for posting your blog again for us to read. I find it quite emotional, I’ll confess, because in the early days I really thought I’d be with you on the chemo pathway - I had prepared myself for it. So it sort of grounds me. You are very brave to write so frankly about it all. It is a beautiful picture of you and you look lovely regardless of hair or not...it’s your beauty from the inside!! Enjoy your lunch today.

 

Jem it’s a wet Burgundy this morning but we desperately need rain! The vineyards are stunning and the wine very good, in fact the grape harvest has already begun...very early. I so understand how you need to feel control over things and i bet you look gorgeous in your wig. My way of keeping some control was to choose very carefully who I told; i didn’t want to be a subject of discussion particularly when I wasn’t there!!! Enjoy the rest of your holiday.

 

I've got no excuse now, I’ve got some housework to do now it’s cooler!

Sending love and gentle hugs.

love Rosie xxx

 

 

Member
Posts: 201
Registered: ‎23-06-2018

Re: Feel like a fraud

Hi Jem

Thanks for reading - I may have misled you slightly re the wig wearing!
If I go out with friends or into an environment where I know people I will wear my wig, if I go for a walk or just nip to the shops I wear a bandana. In the house I’m bareheaded but if anyone comes to the door I slip a bandana on
I think it stems back to this fraud business & mentally I’ve got to accept what’s happening to me - it still feels very surreal at times. Seeing myself bald or wearing a bandana makes me think about it
Sorry if this is a bit deep!

Love Jude x
Member
Posts: 256
Registered: ‎18-04-2018

Re: Feel like a fraud

Hi Jude

another insightful blog into this strange world we are currently living in- well done you. Beautiful picture of you. Interesting your thoughts on facing the reality re wig or not wig wearing.  For me I find wearing my wig when I leave the house 1) gives me confidence and 2) allows me to be me rather than  bc entering a room before me and face conversations I wouldn't chose to have. Somehow for me this is the way it gives the control back to me, this awful disease tries to take away so much of our control. But that is just me, a bit of a control freak really.  We are all different people and  there shouldn't be a route for us all to follow but somehow find our way through this crazy season in our lives.

Rosie- love Burgundy - have happy memories visiting prior to chin with my oh, drinking wine in the sunshine overlooking the vineyards 😀. Yes we will have happy memories from this holiday too. Spending time with oh and children has been great.

jem xx

 

Member
Posts: 201
Registered: ‎23-06-2018

Re: Feel like a fraud

My latest blog - apologies it’s a bit whingy x

https://dancingwithchemo.wordpress.com/2018/08/30/square-dance/
Member
Posts: 201
Registered: ‎23-06-2018

Re: Feel like a fraud

Hi Rosie

Think you are right & it is just the cumulative effect - by the end of next week I will have forgotten about it & will be ready to go again
I’m going out for lunch with a friend tomorrow which will be lovely & might try to do something next week as well

Take care

Jude x