Community Manager
Posts: 1,987
Registered: ‎01-05-2012

Re: Is his reaction normal?

Hi fenni11


Sorry that you havent had a response to your post yet.  You may find more response and support from other areas of the Forum, Moving Forward after breast cancer or perhaps the Sex and relationships private group. We know that many people find it difficult to talk about sex and relationships even though so many do experience issues and problems.


You may also find it helpful to speak with on of our speciliasts on the free Helpline, 0808 800 6000.


Best wishes
Digital Community Officer



Posts: 18
Registered: ‎09-04-2018

Is his reaction normal?

Hi there all husbands/ partners
I’m the one with the BC, but I’m looking for some advice about my husband.
2 years ago I had a double mastectomy without reconstruction and from the moment the dressings came off he completely went off me. This isn’t my imagination or me losing confidence, I walked around naked, gave lots of hints about how I’d like to get close again and how much I missed him.
But he wouldn’t even look at me, let alone touch me.
We’ve been to counselling and he has said he loves me but the appearance of my chest “does nothing” for him. I’ve also put some weight on since starting tamoxifen and apparently my prosthetic boobs aren’t big enough.
I’ve waited 2 years. He says he’s now ok with how I look, but because he still struggles to look at me or touch me, I don’t believe him.
I can’t face reconstruction and I don’t really think it would help anyway.
Has anyone else felt like him and got through it? Or do you think that at 2 years things are unlikely to change?

Thanks for your insights.