Although that's great news on the tumour shrinkage, I'm soooo sorry to hear about your break-up Such a shame he couldn't hack it, so to speak. You're having to be understanding to others difficulties, lacks, weaknesses in coping with. As if the vagaries of BC haven't been enough, 'ey.
Is that now why you're having second thoughts to having the double recon? Or the shrinkage has changed things for you? Or are there other reasons too?? That's a helluva difficult decision.
Just a point to consider from my own experience, and resulted in a long awaited recon (7yrs!). Life can sometimes have a habit of throwing up other unexpected obstacles (and brown stuff!), that can then cause delays. With hindsight, I'd have opted and pushed for immediate recon to both, got it all out of the way back then when I was stronger mentally and a bit younger too. As it had a long term impact on my personal life/confidence, from a single person point of view. Prevented me from pursuing dating and a relationship. Not that it would everyone, that's just how it affected me.
You had your reasons for your initial decision to have both masts and immediate recon. If it was your absolute gut - I'd follow it and go for it, if you're feeling strong enough to, and give the time to yourself to get sorted. Then go find that "better" guy?!
Sorry you're also having such a tough time chemo wise. Will those be your last two? Hope so. Hope you can find some extra strength from somewhere to stay strong.
Loadsa love to you and everyone
Sorry I've been off radar.
Corr, daughters and rocky roads and pancakes - yum yum. Crikey Snoozy, you make your recons sound like a spare bits farm!! And not big enough implants??!! Lummey woman Awwwww, It must be sooo bloomin tough losing hair, lashes, eyebrows. Especially second time around. I'm admiring your upbeat attitude, even if you may not be feeling it deep down. You're looking pretttty good from here though, girl!! Not so good on your own self needle admins. How did your daughters party go?? Wild?
Unicorngirly - Another Awwww, "dodgy chemo hair and not many eyelashes" for your daughter. I hope you're over your last postings side effects. How much longer have you to go, you and Snoozy?? What is it about boys/men, and emotions?? Thank you for asking after me, flower.
Oy, you two - I keep missin out on the kiddies Macs parties ;-(( !!
Much love to you both
Oh Unicorngirl - How are you getting on? I didn't thank you for your hug and concern. I'm so sorry and thank you for it flower. Am a bit better last few days. Been getting out and about a bit more (escaped). Had a meal out and lovely evening with my Bezzie last night. Hadn't seen for a year due to me being mentally out of commission, so had a lot to gas about.
Your poor bums !! Is that TMI?
Snoozy - Glad you got things a bit more sorted appointment wise, plus that you aren't feeling so pressured. I'm sure your surgeon will fill you in on some of it, before your plastic surgeon appointment. What did your daughter cook last night. Awwww, what a flower. Why don't you contact whoever organises the Look Good Feel Better course and ask them if it would be okay, rather than feel you might be pushing someone nose out?
Am off for a very early night - no sleep last night and my eyes are going already.
Keep kicking you girls. Gently, until you get your strength back.
Lots of love, Delly xxxxxxx
Sorry girls, been having techy probs with b/band so haven't been able to log on last few days. Felt like my arm had been cut off. But thats all trivia compaired to what you two are going through.
I'm okay thanks unicorngirl, just a bit of a blip. I often have nights, sometimes two, where I don't sleep, just don't get or feel tired. All part of the Bi-P symptoms. No, your not being nosey - you're being caringly enquiring, thank you lovey. Just need to feel I'm in a more stable position to go have another appointment with surgeon, then be able to maintain it long enough through to a surgery date, how ever many weeks following. It's the maintaining it that's often the prob. Your mouth probs sound awful, and the rest of. Think I'd rather have the 2 x bottles and massive bag of crisps anyday. You poor girls.
Snoozysue - I think you're doing amazingly well. Yey! on the wig. It really sucks for you lot, this chemo lark - extra tough stuff. You're gonna have to pull your finger out and have some serious discussions about your surgery options, if you're feeling so uninformed, darlin, preferably with surgeon, or at least go have a sesh with your BCN. Get all the gen, and take someone with you to take it all in as well. I've mentioned nipple options to you, but you need that direct surgical info on what options YOU have. The more info you have, the more informed a decision you'll make. You seem to keep fobbing it off and there's no point really discussing it with your BF, if you're not fully informed of what your options are, is there?. Or perhaps you can have THAT discussion with your surgeon on the 15th? Have you been given a date for your actual surgery yet?? Please don't tell me it's the 15th, is it? If you don't feel informed on mastectomies and nipple recon, and haven't been given it - please go get/tell these people you need more info, sweetheart. You're not asking for anything out of the ordinary, or demanding. But am guessing your head divided in so many different directions with having young kids to look after, along with coping with all of this sh*t as well!!
No darling, No exp of chemo or Picc lines at all, but there are loads of girls on the chemo threads who have, because of the same vein probs. I don't have any probs with needles Susan. Have you previously looked into any of the chemo threads from your time with it before??
I wanted immediate recon and only ever wanted implants, which my initial surgeon was more than happy to do with my first boob. But I had a change of surgeon, recommended by my BCN, who was more up to date with self tissue recons and a very skilled surgeon. There was a bit of a mix up with what procedure I wanted i.e. not self tissue, just implants. I had smoked which the original surgeon didn't have an issue with and implant surgery, but the second did, thinking I was wanting self tissue and the circulation implications when connecting up tiny blood vessels. Basically, if I'd stayed with the original surgeon, I'd have had the immed implant recon. I've never had a healing issues, nasty gashes to legsetc. my masts scars healed up in a couple of weeks without any probs, a major knee op healed quickly and well. I just put it down to a miscommunication of what I was actually wanting - basic implants. So make sure you bash ALL the info out, and get it straight.
Hey, you're not at all rambling. Please don't ever think you are. You're both having such a tough time of it, I'll say. Am impressed with your eldest daughter.
How was your romantic early Valentine meal??
Hope you're both having a better day today?
Lots of love to you xxxxxxx
Hi girls, sorry I have not been back to update, been feeling a bit sorry for myself, and trying to get the kids and house organised before I start treatment. Hope everyone is well. I start chemo tomorrow, I'm getting 6 cycles of docetaxal and carboplatin. I had 3 cycles of docetaxel last time and it hit me hard, so not looking forward to 6 of them. I had bad bone pain last time and lost sensation in my fingers, so might not make work as much as I would like to. Then after surgery I get a year of Herceptin, yay 3 weekly treks to the hospital for a whole year after!
And who wants chemo on a Friday? That's wine day! I was ok about it until I realised my last chemo is the day my daughter comes home from school camp in May, and I won't be able to meet her off the bus. That set me off with my 1st proper cry after my diagnosis. It's the small things that do it.
So anyhoo, have appt with surgeon on 15th so have until then to decide about mastectomy. I've discussed it with my bf who says he's ok with it, but it's me who is stalling. We have only been together 5 years so nipples still play a big part in our relationship, which is the reason I didn't want to discuss it with my mum, shes gets all flustered . I just wish I'd been given more info on mastectomies, but I guess I will have time to do some research while I'm off next week, have taken a few days off to see how treatment goes.
How's everyone else doing? I've decided not to cold cap so chose a new wig this week, gone for a nice blonde highlight job, completely different for me, and much cheaper than the real thing would be in the hairdressers
Big hugs to you all
Hi Snoozy, Unicornmummy (is that shades of Despicable Me unicorn?), my old chums Jill, and Ann,
Firstly Snoozy Sue - ref "notifications". For some reason all of mine stopped about 9 months ago now, but got one last week. I keep hearing of other with the same recent prob. I contacted the moderator girls a couple of times soon after mine stopped, thought we'd got it sorted but we hadn't. If you click into the profile section top right of page and click on subscriptions/notifications, you can check what settings you have clicked on or off. But even tho' I discovered one was off, it still didn't solve the prob.
You chemo cuties, I admire your gutsiness, I tell you,. What a hard time you have, treatment effects and hair/eyelash/brow loss. And you Sue, flippin 'eck, two kids as well, more chemo and "needing" to work - crikeybobs. Think you need a SupaDupa booster. I'm really pleased to hear you don't have to have rads this time though. Save you all that time, tooing and frooing.
So . . chemo first. and your opting for "both" masts with reconstruction options - as to where you choose from for self tissue wise, or implants. Some of that'll depend on what size can be achieved, with what spare tissue you have for both, I', guessing.
NIPPLES, god yeh, utmost importance!! Again, it depends on whether they can be "spared" surgically, during the immediate recon surgery. I had to lose both mine, Hated the thought of, and was why I was so indecisive with my first BC op - lumpectomy but lose almost 1/2 my breast with a 7cm sphere but keep nipple, and rads or lose it all with a mast. If you do have to lose them, there's the option of nipple recon, usually after both your boobs have healed and "settled or draped" (note I didn't say "drooped"!), so that they can level the nipps up properly. I've heard of some women being able to save one nipple and have had it halved to create a second one. The beauty of that being that they both have an immediate natural colour from part of the areola. If you have both new nipple recon, after they've healed, you can have the areolas tattooed, which is really like the icing on the cake!!! And the final option, is to have 3D tattooing, where the nipple is an illusion. There are some interesting posts on some of the fors and againsts on Nipple Recon or tattooing threads. The obvious "for" is that it's one less operation, but you don't have a raised central "nub". With one girl, the tattoo faded very quickly, another was really chuffed with her 3D ones. (Why couldn't you talk nipples with your Mum? she's a woman with her own, and must have seen yours umpteen times in your life, hey. Made me chuckle)
But really, you do need to get all the info on recon options, preferably from the surgeon who's carrying it out. Some surgeons tend to have their "favourite" recon procedure, eg Tummy for softer, or a Lat flap (back) for a smaller but firmer boob, because it contains more muscle. Plus the BCN's there discuss anything further and bash things out with, pro/con and decision wise. Look at loads of photos of results for the various different ones if poss. There's nothing like direct visual info. Also, I wonder if your BCN might be able to put you into direct contact with someone who's had whichever recons done? Don't know. But it's always that much easier to face something when you have all the facts. helps you feel settled in your head.
Unicornmummy - Your another whos' had a tough chemo slog. Gosh I do feel for you both. Awww, and I'm not surprised you felt a bit sorry for yourself. It's great you've both got so much info to give to each other.
Unicornmummy, that's so resourceful of you with the root spray, what a really clever solution. Yeh, I felt great with my pocketed bra and prosthetics on too. But it was my personal confidence that was badly affected - meaning dating, intimacy wise being a NoNo. I wasn't happy looking at myself naked, so I certainly wouldn't be happy with someone else looking at me. Very, very delayed recon. Only ever wanted implants. less scars, risk of infection and healing time. Took me to 2014 to be at a time in my life to go for it. Just due to lots of major life stuff, loss of my parents and brother, a house move to another area, and severe depression. I'm still only at the expander stage, which are now long overdue for replacement to silicones, but I've kept falling off the horse, due to motivation dwindling. I'd be opting for nipple recon and areolar tattooing. But, even just having the expanders installed and all the inflations done, I immediately felt WhooHooo confidence wise, at getting some of my old shape back. What I'd really missed, was the outer curvature of boobs and the extra width it gives to your upper torso again, instead of just a skinny ribcage, with two lateral scars - very neat ones though. And I haven't had to wear a bra since either.
Sorry this has turned into such a mammoth post girls, but hope it's of some help. There's so much info to all of this. Gather it all in, weigh it all up, keep bashing it out. You may start to feel overloaded, but I hope not.
Sending you both love and strength, and love to everyone else popping in
Hi Delly thanks for your comment, I am getting chemo 1st, find out tomo what kind and when I start, but surgeon thinks it will be 6 rounds again. My surgeon is highly recommending a mastectomy after but hasn't given me much info, other than I will get reconstruction at the same time. He says I can get the left one done 1st, then get the right one done at a later date, but I feel I might as well get them done at same time, wouldn't want the cancer to come back in that one either.
The plastic surgeon who carried out the reduction last time was there, and had a look at my back and stomach and said there was plenty she could use (cheeky) but I don't know what happens about nipples! I know that might seem petty in the grand scheme of things but I have only been with my bf for 5 years, we have discussed it and he's fine with it but I know I will feel strange about it. I couldn't discuss this with the surgeon at the time as my mum was there, not the kind of conversation I want with her in the room!!
So I really don't know what to do, I suppose as they gave me a reduction I have already had to adjust to new boobs once, I was just getting used to having perky ones again too.
Hi Unicorngirlmummy, sorry I haven't replied, I don't seem to get notifications anymore. Saw my surgeon on Mon, this time it is HER2, whereas last time it was triple neg. He is recommending a mastectomy, I have a month to make a decision. I see the oncologist tomo to see about chemo and when I start. This time my BCN has suggested the cold cap, how are you getting on with that? My last oncologist didn't agree with them but she has retired so will see what the new one thinks. I think I can actually handle losing my hair again, it's my eyelashes, I missed them the last time.
What kind of chemo are you getting? I didn't suffer from sickness last time, hope it's the same this time. I've been quite positive up until now, I'm not dying and I can fight it again, but really stressing out about a mastectomy and how I will feel about it after. They gave me no info on what happens and what my options are. My BCN is leaving info at the reception desk tomo so might feel better after reading that. The only positive I can think of so far is that I won't need rads after it, travelling to and from hospital every day for a month was a nightmare last year.
Hope you are doing ok and treatment is not being too hard on you.
My experience was primary found R/boob 2006 - options were lumpectomy with rads or mast with full ANC (prior to SNB being introduced). Opted for mast. Then I found another lump L/boob just before my yearly check for the R. Automatically opted for mast and again ANC. No node involvement found in either case, so missed out on rads and chemo with both. But, I have to say, losing my 2nd boob smashed me to bits mentally, and I was single (at 47)! not as you, with kids. Makes a huge difference still having one boob, so is why I'm responding. I hope you don't have to go through the same as you did before, but if you do, that it isn't as bad. Do let us know how you go on results, treatment wise, will yer please.
Fingers crossed for you
Sorry to hear you’re going through this again. I have not had your experience, but just wanted to acknowledge your post. There are certainly other ladies who have had a second primary & hopefully will be along to share experiences.
Last week I was diagnosed with a new cancer in my left breast, in Sept 16 I started treatment for Triple negative cancer in my right breast, and had FEC T chemo, lumpectomy, breast reduction in both breasts and finally radiotherapy and treatment finished in May 17.
I was just finally getting over the tiredness, my hair has come back in nicely and my nails have stopped peeling and now this. I find out next week exactly what treatment I am getting this time, but wondered if anyone else has had to go through treatment so close together, is chemo worse the 2nd time round? I wasn't too bad last time, apart from constant infections that put me in hospital, I didn't suffer any sickness etc. I want to try and work more this time round too as I am still trying to catch up financially. Just dreading it being worse this time. I am 43 with 2 kids who still need their mum to run about after them.