Highlighted
Member
Posts: 9
Registered: ‎02-01-2019

Re: Cant cope, cant stop crying

Hi Angie,
I’m so sorry to hear about your diagnosis.
I think initially when we get the diagnosis of secondary it’s perfectly acceptable to be down. I cried everytime I told anyone about it. And yes being on holiday and having a lot of time to think about it sometimes doesn’t help cause you get all worried and fearful and start crying all over again!
I did my best to keep busy and not have too much time to think.
It’ll be 2 years this coming April from my initial diagnosis. Yes a lot have changed but Thank God I’m still working, cooking, screaming at my child over something silly she did! Life’s almost normal. But yes there’s the medication, the scans n Dr visits.
But I try to focus on family and friends, work and look for strength from God. I’m blessed with a lot of support from family and great friends. We plod on.
God bless you and prayers to you.
Member
Posts: 599
Registered: ‎17-02-2013

Re: Cant cope, cant stop crying

Mermaid007

Thankyou for taking the time to reply. I feel like I can't cope at all, however, having done this before as we all have, I'm sure at some point I'll not be quite so crazy. That's what I keep telling myself anyway. Its comforting to hear from people who have come out from the mist of diagnosis. I do appreciate the advice and comments from everyone, so thankyou. 

Angie x

Member
Posts: 91
Registered: ‎16-01-2015

Re: Cant cope, cant stop crying

Hi Angiepops,

just want to say that how you are feeling is totally normal!

i was diagnosed with multiple bone mets 4 years ago and that was 16 years after my primary! It was just before Christmas and I have no idea how I held it together. I remember the feeling of total despair.

All I can say is that gradually you become a bit more used to the “ new normal “. Once your treatment is in place and you have hopefully “ stable” scan results you will start to get your life back on track. This site was a huge help to me as you find so many of us years down the road.

allow yourself to grieve... it is like grieving... we grieve for the carefree life we had before. However it is what it is. Now I would recommend phoning Macmillan, they are lovely to talk to. I think people believe them to be just for the dying, that’s not true at all. They can offer advice on all aspects of the disease and even on financial matters and benefits you might be eligible for etc. 

Regarding anti depressants I take venlafaxine whuch helps with anxiety and also reduces hot flushes I am getting with hormonal treatment.

Finally many many oncologists believe secondary cancer can be treated as a chronic disease for  years due to the new treatments it’s not  to be automatically thought of as a death sentence.

sorry if I’ve rambled on lol

take care

were all in this together ... as the song goes 

x

 

 

 

Member
Posts: 599
Registered: ‎17-02-2013

Re: Cant cope, cant stop crying

Hi Didi,

I know you're right, I know I'll settle, I just can't stop the dark imaginations from getting into my head. It seems like another life when we used to chat, its not that long ago though, only 5 years. I think you just tend to shut that away and go forward, and here we both are again, but I'm not going forward at all. I feel like I'm so alone, that's why I came back on here, and I was shocked to find you here too. Thanks for replying, I hope you had a good Christmas. I felt like I was in a bubble, smiley on the outside and falling to pieces inside. I've been better this evening, I was a nightmare earlier on, I feel for my partner,all this again! 

Hope you're keeping well Didi, lovely to hear from you,

Angie xx

Member
Posts: 102
Registered: ‎11-10-2012

Re: Cant cope, cant stop crying

Angie so sorry how difficult this is for you but you can cope and life will settle down once the terrible shock of your new diagnosis passes a bit.It is terrible how unhelpful your hospital are at supporting you but sadly it’s common especially with secondary cancer.
Could you ask your gp for any help and support in your area?Medication could help you to cope for now and you can stop it once life seems easier to bear.
I struggled at first but working and normal routines helped as long as your work isn’t too stressful.
We used to go on live chat together a few years ago where ladies always had helpful suggestions for worries/concerns.
Take care Didi
Member
Posts: 16
Registered: ‎06-03-2015

Re: Cant cope, cant stop crying

Certainly is Angiepops!

I coped really well first time round 6 years ago, but this has steamrollered me. I've read some inspiring stories on this site, and I am very cautious about looking elsewhere, as it's invariably out of date information.

I too am very up and down, but I am better than the first dark days before starting treatment. I think that anxiety has given way to sadness now, and I'm starting to dare to look forward a bit.

It's awful that your hospital has not been supportive, and I hope you find somewhere else to get what you need. I had some good support from the helpline on this site, very helpful at the beginning when I was all at sea. I'm sure work will be a distraction; I'm really missing my colleagues but not the work! I

Member
Posts: 599
Registered: ‎17-02-2013

Re: Cant cope, cant stop crying

Hi jayrand56

Thanks for getting back. My hospital are not very supportive, the longest conversation I had is how they don't have time to do my bloods and I should have been sent to the gp surgery. You will know how I am then,  are you up and down? OK, then not OK, just the same as when I was first diagnosed 5 years ago. I feel like I should be able to cope ,having been there before, but at the moment I'm not holding up very well. I didn't want to go down the antidepressants route again but I'm increasingly thinking that I should. I'm going back to work on Tuesday, hopefully a distraction. 

Hope your chemo goes well, and hope you settle into your routine easily. What a bugger of a time to get diagnosed! 

Keep well

Angie x

Member
Posts: 16
Registered: ‎06-03-2015

Re: Cant cope, cant stop crying

Angiepops- sounds like you and I were diagnosed around the same time. I too have found things very frightening, and Christmas has been difficult.

Does your hospital have a wellbeing centre where you might get support.?Your bcn would be able to help you with this? I am having some counselling at my oncology centre, and gradually starting to put things into some perspective (not every day!) I have also started an increased dose of anti depressants and they are helping with my darker thoughts.I'm hoping that the start of 'routine' life after the holidays on Monday will help too; I'm currently off work, but hoping to get into some sort of new routine while I undergo chemo.

Sending you my support and positive thoughts. You are not alone, and I guess that it takes everyone a while to come to terms in their own way

Member
Posts: 599
Registered: ‎17-02-2013

Cant cope, cant stop crying

I was diagnosed with SBC about 7 weeks ago. Consultant said I have deposits on my spine, organs all clear, told me I would get treatment, infusion and anastrozole, then scans at 3 months to start, then 6 months. Said off you pop back to work basically. So then I had 2 delayed treatments, lack of calcium.so now I just keep bursting into tears and can't stop crying , I feel like they're just going to let me die and nothing I can do about it. I think I'm falling  into depression, I'm normally very practical and rational, but I've been off work for 2 weeks for Christmas and I think I've had too much time to think, not sure if I should go to doctors and get anti depressants. 

Angie