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stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Glad shopping wasn't too bad, OH will be more confident by even managing just some. If you can't persuade him can you maybe do the trip yourself??

Yuck, Mr Sparrowhawk, yuck yuck.

 

YD went to see a house in other city today, she will be back shortly so am just waiting to hear what's what.

Nipped into town and purchased a few bits and bobs, funnily lots of cakes were in my basket when I reached the checkout, didn't have the heart to put them back...........

Thurs is next appt, asked last week if I could come 10 mins later than actual appt because it would mean I would hang around for almost 4 hours because of bus times and cream, they said that would be fine, was well pleased!! Saved an hour haha. Think it will be superly ouchy this time as skin is pretty raw, mmmmmmmmmm. Fingers crossed it will be the last time I have to go............

It's freezing cold here. Rain on and off. Purchased new coat which am really pleased with, feather and down can't beat it, should maybe wear it around house too haha xx

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Glad you enjoyed your meal and family time, FF. Hope you enjoyed your reading and chillin' day today too. 

 

It was definitely chilly here today. I had great plans to do some gardening but it was a bit nippy out and the CBA bench was so inviting. Spent the morning with my colouring by numbers app instead. Went to do the supermarket shop this afternoon. Had lunch in the cafe instead of dinner so we could just have a sandwich. OH managed much better and even came around the first bit of the store with me but then had to go and sit in the car when it got too much. Definitely an improvement on the last 2 shopping trips. I picked up some triple cooked chips and crispy lemon chicken to just shove in the oven for dinner. Minimum effort. Yummy. Also bought a selection pack of 5 mini Danish pastries. 3 for me and 2 for him.. .. or, if he doesn't know about them.....??! Smiley Tongue

 

Finally got around to applying for a Blue Badge for OH. Did it all online on my tablet but stopped when I'd nearly finished it because I needed to sort out the (aforementioned) stuff in the oven. Came back to it after dinner and had to start all over again!Smiley Mad It included details of OH's condition,  medication, names of healthcare professionals, detailed description of walking ability and photos of his passport, driving licence and hospital appointment letter. Had to redo the lot!  Finally submitted it all successfully and then it says we have to wait up to TWELVE WEEKS to hear if he is entitled to a blue badge and pay £10 for it!! What a faff. Still, it's done now.

 

Hope your ouchiness has calmed down now, KTC. When is your next treatment session?

 

Our private Springwatch took a new turn this morning: we warched a sparrowhawk sitting on our fence ripping a bird apart. We hastily checked Babsvilla and she was in residence brooding her 9 eggs. Phew! Bob came in to feed her too, so that was a refief. Superb to see the sparrowhawk, and of course it needs to eat - may even be feeding young itself - but it would be a bit traumatic to see Bob or Babs come to such a grisly end!!

 

Back in holiday mode.  Going to wotk tomorrow will be a shock to the system! Ah well,  only 2 weeks and 4 days to half term. Which reminds me, must keep working on OH to convince him he wants to visit with the girls over the Bank Holiday weekend. Smiley Very Happy

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

A lovely family dinner out today, a carvery at a local pub, delicious, rare roast beef that melted in the mouth and enough veg  to count as my 5 a day for the next week.

Back to Son's for a muggaea and much chat and laughter.

 

Another day off tomorrow so I can just chill and read a new book.

 

Hope you all enjoy the Bank Holiday.

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Happy Birthday FF, woo hoo!!

Party was fab, steak dinner yum yum, glitterberry juice disappeared very, very quickly.............

Have a lovely day out with your family.

Oh my JCJ, what are you like??? what a memory you have, obviously you still have all your marbles, mine are still rolling around.

 

new kettle purchased, thank goodness, muggateas a plenty now xx

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

10/10 to you JCJ. you have the date right and thank you for the birthday wishes.  The steak dinner was lovely.  Both families popped over today with cards and pressies and we're going out for a family dinner on Sunday.  Daughter baked me a cake, just a jam sponge but lovely and light, delicious. Tiara donned, sparklers at the ready, where's the  glitterberry juice?

 

So very sorry to hear your news grumpy, glad you have a plan in place, hope it will be effective.

 

Hope you're feeling better Katy. Got a new kettle?

 

Cot mobile absolutely lovely JCJ.

 

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Sh***y news grumpy. No wonder you are all over the place. Sorry, only had time to hug your post last night. I hope treatment keeps you as well as possible for as long as possible. Feel free to vent in Benchland whenever you feel the need. 

 

Afternoon tea and/or steak dinners in the shed. Glitterberry juice on ice. Tiara polished and knee highs ironed. Party time. Happy birthday FF (crosses fingers I've got the date right)!! Smiley Very Happy Grumpy you can write all those things you want to shout using the sparklers. Smiley Tongue

 

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

aaaah grumpy, so saddened by your news, really good that you persevered and now have a plan in place. You know you will always be welcome here in Benchland, if you are not telling anyone at least you can talk on here, big hugs flying your way.

 

Love your mobile JCJ, it's really cute, haha. 9 birdies perhaps?? Wow!

 

All went well yesterday, 5 hours plus 2 hours travelling so better than expected. Lots of prep before and after, slight discomfort while being zapped. Last night extremely ouchy!! As in throbbing haha!!

Popped kettle on this morning for my muggatea, it's not working WHAT??? Will have to go out and buy a new one, busy boiling water at the moment, grrrrrrrrrr xx

Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hi Ladies

Not been in to Benchland for a while, but I need you all again....

Just been given dx of bone mets so I'm a bit allover the place at the moment.

It has taken 12 months of nagging and agitating about back pain to get an MRI scan, and so the grim situation was discovered. I had Words with my GP about this - at every appt I waved that red flag that says BC treatment, can recur in bones etc, so stop prescribing pain relief and find out what's going on. Well, it won't make any difference to the outcome otherwise I'd be on a mission to make sure it doesn't happen to anyone else.

Not telling people, I just say I've got Crumbly Bones and letting folk assume osteoporosis!

The NHS are being very thorough, I've been through the Donuts so many times, and today I got a proper treatment plan, so I feel more settled and more positive now. Prognosis is years rather than months....fingers crossed.

My main worry of course is Joey the Asbo Boy, but it's a moot point who will die first. If it's me, then I have friends who speak dog who may be able to take him. If it's him, I shall grieve for him but I will know he won't be fretting. And he's on weightwatchers at the moment , he went up from 7kg to 8kg since Xmas, all my fault, those extra treat since Meg died.

love to all

Grumpy

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Thinking of you,  KTC,  and hoping treatment is going OK. 

9 eggs in Babsvilla now! Smiley Happy 🐦

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

No idea why it says spoiler at the bottom of that last post? What?

20190430_154450.jpg

Photographed in garden because garden bench is the closest thing I've got to a cot! Posted it to GD today. Lady in PO asked me what was in the parcel and looked like she was about to call "Nurse!!" when I told her it was a knitted farm animal baby mobile. Well, she did ask! Hehehe

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hope treatment not (whoops! Accidentally in bold) too unpleasant or scary. All digits crossed that it's effective with minimum sessions. 

Here's Shaun the Sheep to cheer you through the day. Finished knitting him last night after I finished the mobile for GD.20190430_231131.jpg

Spoiler
 

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Tomorrow treatment starts am really hoping it's not 8 hours...............

Had a look at crossword books but because I've not done puzzles for ages, think it would end up making me mad haha.

So have book, sandwiches, drink, etc etc.

 

Jumped in a taxi my poor feet, (driver told me we are meant to have snow over weekend, WHAT???) to see Mum who was fine, she wasn't looking too good last time but much better today, popped in to see ED on the way home.

Managed to miss the rain, hurrah.

Didn't eat all of the bag of sweets last night thought I would keep some for today, too late YD ate them, that'll teach me, haha xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hahaha sounds delicious, NOT!!!

As you say that'll teach him, now not wanting to stir things up but who is poisoning who????

Cake was yummy though. Will have to be careful about coming for Sunday Dinner..............

All ok here ED's new car arrived yesterday it's lovely all shiny and pretty.

Went into town today, not for long but my oh my, my feet are on the ouchy road again, it's like a switch turns on from bearable to excruciatingSmiley Sad

So am comforting myself with a huge bag of sweets, you had better be quick!! xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)7

Deleted because posted twice. 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Disgusting culinary disaster tonight. OH going out so I had to get dinner early. Quick stir fry to use up some tired mushrooms and the leftover pork. Added a fairly ancient jar of sweet and sour sauce. It seemed a bit solid, but I just thought it was even older than I thought. Plenty of sugar in it - it will be preserved OK. Added some soy sauce and Worcester sauce to loosen it up a bit. It was only as I served it that I realised it smelt odd. Very bitter. Turned out OH had used a sweet and sour jar to put homemade (out of a tin - just add sugar and cook) marmalade and he hadn't bothered to remove the label or put a new one over the top. He hasn't made marmalade for years!! Anyway, much as I hate wasting food, it was so disgusting it went straight in the food recycling bin along with the rice I'd served it with, and we had egg on toast instead. Lovely birthday dinner??!! Serves him right. That'll teach him to label things? Smiley Mad

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Asked OH if he wanted to go to Norwich again at half term. He said "Yes and no"! It was a good job I'd already made his birthday cake or I might not have bothered... or put arsenic in it? Tempted to tell him I'M going whatever. Smiley Mad I probably should have given him a bit longer to recover from the journey yesterday, but he seemed in a good mood and I've learnt to "strike while the iron is hot". 

 

Coffee cake with mocha butter icing in the shed because OH's birthday is tomorrow. Also banana, coconut and raisin oaty biscuits in there because I made some to take into the staffroom for my birthday. They're very small to allow the dieters and diabetics to partake, so most of us will need at least 3. Smiley Tongue

 

Really windy here. There's also been quite a lot of rain. Leaves EVERYWHERE!! Dry today though, so I've managed to get all the washing dried and ironed. 

 

Back to the grindstone tomorrow. At least it's only mornings though. That does make going back easier. 

 

I was pleased to see your post too, FF. Hope you're feeling much more yourself now. xx

 

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Glad to see your post FF, hope you are feeling much better, no wind here but we did have torrential rain, yuck.

Soooooooooo complimentary JCJ, hahaha. Glad you heard from ESSmiley Happy

Recovering from that wild party, am still in shock, I know I should be used to it by now but those sparklers and those words.........................

 

All quiet here, whew, on Fri I babysat 3 GC while ED had a long lunch, was exhausted, came home ate a sandwich and went to bed. Must be cause I'm in my 40's now xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Happy Birthday JCJ, donning the glad rags and tiara to help you celebrate Smiley Happy So glad that you have met your GD and worked your "nana magic" on her. Another 4 weeks until you see her again will pass quickly.

 

Glad that ES texted you and that you are now home. Always nice to be home after time away.

 

Very very windy down here today, I thought about putting the washing out but it would just have blown off the line so its sitting on the worktop waiting to see what tomorrow will bring. 

 

Back to school this week, I enjoyed the holidays when I could please myself when I went in but I'm back to the rigid timetable now so not so enthused.

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Frantic dash to be ready to leave cottage at obligatory 10am departure time. Then a shivery cold wait at Wymondham Station - literally next door but one to cottage - for 10:52 train. What a difference in the weather in a week! I was so rushed I completely forgot it was my birthday until I got a rare text from ES saying "Happy birthday you old fa*t" (though he didn't deploy the asterisk!) Made me ridiculously happy that he remembered. Smiley Very Happy

Home now via a late lunch at a favourite pub; just a beef baguette and chips.

Just donning the glad rags ready to join you with that vat of glitterberry juice. Smiley Very Happy

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Happy real day birthday to you, JCJ, woo hoo!!!

Hope your journey home was fine, if not will have a barrel of glitterberry juice awaiting your arrival...............am all dressed up, ballgown, tiara and knee highs, ready to go..........

Glad Nana magic worksSmiley Happy, 4 weeks will pass quickly, woo hoo for the holidays xx

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Birthday is on Saturday. Not a big one. That's next year. 

Apparently, after we left the girls on Monday, GD had her most settled night yet. YD put it down to "Nana magic"! Smiley Very Happy

 

YD back at work on Tuesday, but she has been able to work from home today and tomorrow. She's suddenly finding work less important. It's funny how having a baby can alter your priorities?! DIL coping much better than she thought she would - of course - she even went to a post natal yoga group, yesterday, and met up with some of the girls from the ante natal yoga and their babies. Even went for coffee with one of them and breastfed in public for the first time, so she's feeling much more confident. GD behaved herself impeccably. We went to their house this evening and had fish and chips. We actually all sat at the table and ate together as GD sat contentedly on YD's lap. Wow! So much for her being a monster in the evenings. More Nana magic of course? 

 

Sad to leave them. Smiley Sad Plans to visit again at half term - only 4 weeks away. Smiley Happy How I envy those of you who live near to GC!

 

Last day in the cottage tomorrow, then 3 hour train journey home on Saturday. Trying not to stress about that. Smiley Indifferent

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Woo hoo seeing all your girls and presents tooSmiley Happy!!

Has your birthday passed?

Happy Birthday to you either early or belated haha!!

Will celebrate by sitting on every bench.

Bit daunting when you are on your own she maybe glad of the company JCJ, but also agree a routine is important for new Mum too, you can always give her a call............

 

Busy yesterday, busy today and busy Fri so am hoping to have a quiet day on Thurs, prob YD and GS will come home then haha.

Cause I was quiet over the weekend I managed to spend most of my birthday money, pair of jeans, 2 pairs of shoes and 2 bras, bras are fine this time and not see through!! Shoes are comfy, bought one pair liked them so thought I would have another pair, anything for comfort............ 

Am being plagued by hayfever so managed to get things sorted yesterday and there is a def difference this morning, woo hoo, that was what was wrong with my eyes.

Am now having issue with my toe, feel as though it won't bend so it's uncomfortable, it occurs on and off every so often, so it will go eventually. My face is a complete mess with the cream, another week to go................Feel like a right hypochondriac..........xx

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Lovely day with the girls. Spent most of it in the garden so DIL could breastfeed in private. GD is adorable and I got lots of hugs. Haven't lost the old winding baby tricks! (Wish I could do the same for myself! Terrible night last night! Smiley Sad

While we were there, I mended the baby backpack by putting on a new poppers and took the feet out of a babygro because it was cramping her little toes. YD has many skills but sewing isn't one of them! They gave me my birthday presents to save posting them: a framed photo of "my girls" - all 3 of them! - and a mug with a cute photo of GD and "Who's the Nana?" printed on it. YD apologised for the latter explaining she ordered it in an emotional, sleep deprived state. But I love it! Smiley Very Happy

 

YD back at work tomorrow and they're both dreading it. DIL says we must visit while YD at work but I think we'll leave it until later in the week so she can settle into new routines without worrying about entertaining us. At least GD will sleep on her own in her pram or cot now, so her mums haven't got to sleep on a rota. 

 

OH managed the day very well but is now in a right grump. Probably tired. I was worried about his tremor when holding the baby, but she didn't seem unduly bothered by it. 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Aaaah fingers crossed for a sleepy baby Smiley Happy, GS's cot didn't have side that came down far enough, funnily I do remember YD saying that would have been a good idea when she purchased cot............. hindsight........ah well......

When do you leave?? So exciting for you, hopefully journey will be better than anticipated. Have a lovely, wonderful, happy time. How long are you there for? Lots of pics please haha. Will be sooooooooooo lovely to see her, enjoy!!!

OH will just be grumpy because of journey etc, so any excuse to have a moan, anything rather than admit what the real reason is? You should/could maybe bring it up at the next review for OH, consultant may twist his arm, to try something new, though it is difficult when you are frightened of change. He just maybe able to reassure your OH.

 

It was a lovely day here, actually had a jacket on woo hoo, into town for some odds and ends, spoiled myself with a takeaway, YD and GS away for a couple of days xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

OH has been given medication for anxiety - on top of what he already takes for it: amytriptyline (sp?) - which he has taken for 30 years, and is no longer prescribed for anxiety. Docs want to swap it for something more effective but OH remembers how bad he felt when he tried to stop taking it about 15 years ago and won't understand that changing to a more effective anti depressant is a completely different thing than giving up altogether. GP has given him Diazepan (sp?) as a top up but, so far, I don't think he's taken it. Concerned about becoming addicted to it?

Tonight, while I was out at swimming, he had another bout of shaking/panicking/shaking even more. You're right, Katy, I'm sure he is anxious about the train journey (I am!! ) but he won't admit it - I'm not sure he even realises that's what's worrying him. He says he can't wait to be on holiday but he's just had a rant about how disappointed he is that GD isn't genetically our GD and that she won't even have his name (doesn't seem to bother him about MY maiden name!! Smiley Sad) I tried to point out that we are lucky to have a GC at all in the circumstances, but he's always got to search for and focus on the negatives. Grrrrr. Probably a good thing our (especially his) genes are not being passed on?!

I passed on your next to me cot suggestion and YD said they already have the cot right next to their bed with the side dropped down so it's practically the same. Had a photo sent to me this evening of GD asleep on her own in a "sleepyhead" (looks a bit like a cross between an airbed and a changing mat. I think it's designed so you can have baby in bed with you without risking rolling on her) the caption said "30 minutes and counting!!" so hopefully they've turned a corner. Smiley Happy 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Slowly.................xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Aaaah JCJSmiley Sad, such a shame, that was kind of lady to box dinner up. OH will have a lot extra on his mind too, your journey and your new grandbaby. Would a medication help the anxiety?? Might be worth a shot, so sad. Big hugs flying your way.

Love the monkey haha.

YD purchased moses basket, cot, pram, GS was also not happy to be on his own in any of them so as a last resort she decided to buy the next to me cot, best buy EVER!!! It's right up against the bed therefore baby feels as though you are right there, honestly it's brilliant, he now sleeps every night in it all through the night, woo hoo. 8.30 pm till 6.30 am if he stirs YD just puts her hand on his tum and off he goes to sleep again. Well worth it.

Went out tonight to a place I think is ok'ish, tonight meal was lovely hurrah, away to slurp a muggatea then off to bed xx

PS, Spot is diminishing..........

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Monkey finished so I can make a start on the farm animal mobile. Smiley Happy20190415_213946.jpg

I'm calling him Bandit because for a while he only had one arm. Smiley Very Happy

Just got back from the fortnightly supermarket shop. We tried to have dinner in the cafe but OH was shaking so badly he couldn't eat. He left to go and sit in the car while I gobbled my jacket potato,  fighting back the tears. The café lady very kindly put his roast beef dinner in a box so we could bring it home and he's reheated it in the microwave and is eating it now. I think, because he felt wobbly there before, he's now got a 'thing' about that particular supermarket. The more anxious he gets, the more he tremors which just makes him even more anxious. I shall have to go by myself in future (which will be quicker anyway) and we'll just have to eat out elsewhere. That's the trouble with this ******** disease: no sooner have we adapted to what he can do, then something changes.

Long chat on phone with YD. They're completely frazzled as GD won't sleep at all unless she's in a moving car or being cuddled. At the moment, they're sleeping in shifts but YD goes back to work next Tuesday, so they're panicking about how they'll manage - and we'll be there adding to their problems!! Apparently, the in-laws are being quite demanding as well, so I'm determined to be the model Nana/mum/MIL and only visit as appropriate next week, even though I'm itching to help (and have lots of cuddles!!)

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I could wear the Whiz as a necklace, or maybe a tiara. It is purple, so I could buy another and attach them to my Doc Martins. Smiley Happy

Still practising. With varying success - not sure I'll ever be confident using it "in the field", as it were, not without taking a change of clothes for when it goes horribly wrong! Smiley Embarassed

 

This afternoon, the girls have taken GD to the photographer who took their wedding photos.  Fingers crossed she (GD, not photographer) doesn't do her screaming herself blue act, which seems to be a regular occurrence lately. This time next week we will have met her. Can't wait. I envy you grandmas/nannies/nanas who live close to your GC.

 

Hugs, FF. x

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Oh my you are going to be banned from the allotment...............high jinks indeedSmiley LOL

Am not sure about the new fangled gadget JCJ, does that mean it will be an accessory in Norcambe???

Been busy doing nothing today, YD was sorting GS's old/new clothes that are too small now, she found the little cardi he wore in hospital, it's sooooooooooo tiny, he's still a little button but how quickly you forget just how very small he was.

We went along to see ED and her brood on Fri, GS is still asking if I can come and live with them...........haha!!

Still have that gigantic spot, geez, sudocrem tonight.

And am having bother with my eyes, is this what happens when you turn 40??? xx

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

No boat, Katy. Not keen on boats. OH shaking would either capsize us or make me seasick too. Smiley Tongue

 

Further amusements on the allotment this week. I didn't have to grapple with heavy machinery because we had a new volunteer turn up who kindly did the strimming for us. Before he arrived, I decided I needed a wee. Could have walked the 100 yards back to the car, unlock the gate, driven through, locked it again, driven 1/4 mile into town centre and used the public toilets and then repeat in reverse. OR I could hide behind the shed, partially screened on either side by old plastic chairs, and hope for the best. (Our plot is the furthest from the car park with scrub land next to it, so nobody is usually about, so that's not as brazen as it sounds!).  Went for the latter option. Last look around to make sure I wasn't in view of anyone as I undid my trousers and saw the new volunteer coming through the gate looking straight at me! Mission aborted pronto! Had to plait my legs for the next 2 hours and only allow myself one mug of tea. Sooo glad when NV left and I could dash behind the shed. OH suggested a Porta potty in the shed, but I have invested in a "whiz freedom" because, apparently, they are better and easier to use than a shewee. It has come with instructions to "practise in the shower"!! Smiley Embarassed What could possibly go wrong??!!

Got to go. OH is ready to go swimming. 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Laughed at the 5 hours, oh it's soooooooo true!!

Did you take a boat out on the lake? After your prowess lawn mowing am sure rowing would a breezeSmiley Wink

 

Thought I would move it forward one day and go into town today as YD will be home and she has a lengthy dental appt tomorrow. As I was walking in thought I would phone ED to tell her a funny story, she is already in town so we met up for a muggatea a fancy one of course, so it was really nice. Youngest GD was sound asleep and GS was very busy cooking made up meals, we sat outside, What??? and after a while we were completely freezing, have still not thawed out yet, brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Says me sitting with heating on, hot water bottle and throw, teeth chattering. Say it every year for around 6 months I'm freezing, am like a broken record............xx

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Normal, Katy???? I doubt it!!! Smiley Tongue Glad you're feeling calmer. 

 

I find sudocrem (sp? ) excellent on spots. 

 

Went to a nearby water park this afternoon (as in lake with birds and boats for hire rather than log flumes and rides!) but it was pretty chilly walking at OH"s pace and stopping at every bench. Looking forward to the day when he finally admits he needs a wheelchair - even if it's one I have to push. It was getting late when we left the park, after a mugatea and messy éclairs in the car, so we stopped off for takeaway chippies on the way home, which we ate in the car. Deeply regretting it now. Stomach is complaining big time! 

 

YD messaged me: they planned a little family day out to the garden centre. 5 hours later, they're finally on their way. 2 hours later they're back home, GD having "screamed herself blue" on the drive back. I promised her it does get easier but I'm sure she doesn't believe me. Smiley Happy They did manage to have some food in the café - so not a complete failure. 

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Am on the "my head is in the right place" bench, woo hoo, back to normal, well, as normal as I can be??

Think I just had to say it out loud or write about it, so no meeting needed tomorrow.

Starts in May.

 

Lovely sunshine here today but it is bitterly cold, faffed around and then went to supermarket, forgot at least 4 things yesterday if it's not on the post it.................

I have an enormous spot on my chin, biggest I have EVER had in my life, what's that all about?? 

Was hoping it would disappear quickly but no it's hanging on for dear life am away to start putting cream on it unless you have a better idea?? xx

 

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Perfectly understandable, Katy. Get off that twit bench! You're allowed a few moments on the jittery bench though - I've put some mangled éclairs and tea beside it. I think going to the centre for chat and reassurance is a good idea. When does your treatment start? You managed RT and it won't be as invasive or intense as that? If the docs are confident the treatment will work then you hold onto that thought. Hugs xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Am not nodding but shaking my head as in Noooooooooooooooooo!! hahahaSmiley Happy

Chicken and messy eclairs yum yum................thank you.

And birdies woo hoo!

Not sure whether to be insulted or not JCJ??? Smiley WinkI would not want to "do" the wheelchair as that is my biggest fear so chariot is my friend, was extremely self conscious for ages and can still feel uncomfortable at times but it is a necessity...........

Had hair chopped today, mirror was not my buddy, buddy at all, yuck.

YD and GS are away for a couple of days so have had some thinking time, the "C" word is scaring me a little, it wasn't bothering me before when I was plopping cream on "it" but now there is a plan, it's real?? So am going to pop up to the local centre, just to get my head around it, am not worried about treatment and have no doubt it will def get rid, it's that word.................what am I like??? Away to sit on the "twit" bench xx

 

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Forgot to say: the bluetits are nest building in the camera box again and one of them is sleeping in there tonight. Fingers crossed we'll have our own private Springwatch again. Smiley Very Happy

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I expect you have mixed feelings about the noddy head, Katy? Nothing serious and no more apptmts required but then nothing can be done so you just have to put up with it!? Smiley Sad Smiley Happy Nod if you agree with me. Smiley Tongue Sorry, that was unnecessary. (But funny?) 

 

I talked to OH about a chariot but he's not keen - he associates them with little old ladies (sorry, KTC - his words, not mine) and can't face the public humiliation - at the moment. He has at least admitted that the next time we go to Sainsburys (other....) he should use one of the wheelchairs provided so he can come around the store with me (a mixed blessing but I won't tell him that!! Smiley Tongue) He'll probably change his mind when it actually comes to it though!

 

YD has asked me to knit an animal mobile for GD. Had fun researching patterns. It'll be a good way to use up some oddments of wool. Can't wait to get started. Got to finish knitting a monkey first. 

 

Made some chocolate éclairs yesterday. Never made choux pastry before but I saw them on bake off and thought it looked simple enough. Nightmare. Realised my piping bag got thrown away because it broke. Tried to make one with a plastic bag but ended up with pastry dough (and then cream) oozing out absobloodylutely EVERYWHERE. In the end, I just sliced the pastry to make a pocket and bunged the cream in. Didn't exactly win any presentation prizes with the chocolate icing either. The finished éclairs looked awful, but I'm pleased to say they taste delicious. Had some with raspberry sorbet for dessert tonight. YUM !! Will put some in the shed, along with the roast chicken dinner.

 

Thinking of you, FF, and hope you're not feeling too ****. Hugs. xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hahaha!!! Can just imagine guffawing with laughter................now if you had adorned your tiara.................things may have been different!!

Hope you enjoyed your swimSmiley Happy

 

With the chariot, because OH will be holding handles he may not shake, am not sure with PD if that makes a difference??

With the sticks you are def not as secure, I stagger a lot and chariot stops that, also can walk at a reasonable speed which I wouldn't be able to do and added bonus you can carry stuff, woo hoo!

Saw consultant about shaky head yesterday, all ok, he says he sees a lot of people who have chronic pain displaying same symptoms it's the brain misfiring, nothing can be done about it. So from what he was saying I feel I am one of the lucky ones because I can control it where as many can't. Am done and dusted unless any other symptoms appear and appt basis will be kept open xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

My. Arm. Hurts! Smiley Sad And that's BEFORE I've gone swimming! 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Did you get enough to drink this time, with your lido? Thumpy head could be dehydration?

 

I've wondered about a chariot but OH not that keen. He'd rather use 2 sticks at the moment. We'll see. I think one will help his balance but I'm not sure if the shaking would make it tricky to use. I don't suppose it would help much with the pain in his knee either. 

 

He's been much better today. He even got a taxi and went to a Parkinson's support group this morning! One he chickened out of a few months ago. He didn't much like it and probably won't go again, but I am sooo pleased he tried it. Definitely a sign of a more positive frame of mind. Smiley Happy

 

This afternoon we went to the volunteer allotment and got the big petrol mower out of its hibernation. The allotment is raised beds with grass everywhere in between and around the edges, so LOTS of grass to mow which was long and wet! A real comedy moment with me using the big, heavy mower for the first time. It's really heavy. There is a lever for the power and another to drive it forwards. With this 2nd lever squeezed the machine takes off at breakneck speed and I found myself chasing it and clinging on for dear life!! I eventually got the knack, but at first my instinct was to just squeeze the levers harder the faster it went - to keep hold of the thing, but also like the brakes on a bike. Of course, if I released the drive lever slightly, the mower slowed to a manageable pace. It took me over an hour, with a stop for tea and a hot x bun, but I finally got all the grass cut - apart from the bits that need the strimmer, didn't attempt to get to grips with that beast today; will safe that for next tine. My arms are throbbing now. Swimming tomorrow will be a challenge! Tea in the chippy cafe in town. My reward. Nom Nom. Such decadence - dinner out 2 nights running? Smiley Very Happy

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Aaaaah that's great news JCJ, everyone will be glad it's over and done withSmiley Happy, good also that she has managed weight gain with it, imagine what she'll be like now, haha. Just pleased for all your girls.

I would def find it scary, the scooter............could he manage with a chariot?? If the right one is purchased makes an amazing difference.

 

An awful day here pouring with rain and oh so cold. Went with YD and GS to the swimming pool, I was a watcher/helper. he was quite the thing and was happy in the water much to YD 's delight. So success.

Visited Mum in the afternoon, we brought a white pudding supper as a surprise and she loved it haha.

Straight back home feeling really tired, head still a bit thumpy, tomorrow is another daySmiley Happyxx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Update from my girls: tongue tie gone. Just a little snip,  a few tears and a little blood and it already seems to have improved matters. Time will tell when it heals. However, YD says GD has, despite the feeding problems, already gained weight and is now back up past her birth weight. She is, apparently "eating like a H******" (my maiden name. Our family has a reputation for enjoying our food! Smiley Very Happy) That's my girl!  

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Woohoo! Cannula success again. Yey! Glad you're feeling better today. Phew! Only two 8 hour PDT sessions. Fingers crossed it works first time.

Not heard from the girls tonight,  but I don't know what time this evening the 'procedure' was booked in for. 

We went to do the supermarket shop this afternoon. Dinner in the café. Chose a table near to service desk for OH's dodgy legs. Quite by chance there was a high chair at the table, so we dined with our invisible GD. Smiley Happy

OH struggling this week. Sh***y sh***y PD. :'( Yesterday, he announced he'd found a solution to getting out and about independently: a small electric car called a G Whizz, only available to buy - or try - near London. He planned to get a friend to drive him there. I knew I'd heard bad things about this vehicle so I did some Internet research. It has an appalling safety record. I tried to stay positive and supportive but I had to dissuade him from this idea for all the reasons he gave up driving in the first place!! - mostly anxiety and danger to other road users. At least in a mobility scooter he'd be able to get off the road onto a pavement if he felt in danger. And wouldn't have to rely on his drivers licence being renewed next year either. 

I think he realised I was right, and asked if we could go to a shop to look at some scooters. The assistant recommended a sturdy looking model that would do the distances required and cope with the hills near our house. He let OH drive it around the shop and up the street a little way. OH managed OK but he said he felt very nervous. He's decided he's "left it to late" to start using one. He said it's a lot of money if he's too scared to go out in it and it just sits in the garage. Now he's feeling trapped and depressed again. Smiley Sad

He didn't manage to come around the supermarket with me today - just went back up to sit in the (now closed) café with his newspaper. He'd left his phone at home so I spent the whole shop wondering where he was and hoping he was OK! Stress! 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hope all has gone well with your baby GD JCJ and feeding is a lot better today, what a shame poor little girly. She will be munching non stop soon and DIL and YD will be able to relax a little.

 

Oh my felt sooooooooo bad yesterday, sick and pounding headache, yuck, am fine today just a little tired. Canula was first attempt thats twice in a row now, woo hoo!!

Am just about to have a shower and set off into town, wont be long but think fresh air will do me good.

Two sessions are on the cards, imagine every day haha. Would just give upSmiley LOL A check up after three months, if still there, more sessions but usually successful with the two xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Feeling yuck x will be back tomorrow x

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Thought of you, FF, as I put the clocks forward last night. Hope the longer days/lighter evenings help you to feel better. 

 

Baby GC has a tongue tie which is making feeding difficult and painful for DIL, but it's easily fixed in a small procedure that she's booked in for on Tuesday. Hopefully that will make life easier for them. I feel helpless so far away. We've recalculated and realised that YD will be back at work when we're there - apart from Easter weekend. I booked the train tickets yesterday. 3 weeks today. Smiley Happy

 

8 HOURS, Katy??  How many times do you have to go? Not daily like RT I hope??! 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Yes it is sad the realisation that you may not be able to do all the things you would like to do with GC but you can do not too active things that children love, I know from experience haha!! When he sees the joy from your GD his heart will melt and he will enjoy silly playing, reading stories etc etc. Best not to let the sad thoughts take over...........easier said than done...........but they love you regardless.

 

Was superly busy today, both GC whilst ED had her appts managed fine and my GS said he would like me to stay in their house forever, I could even sleep in his Mum's bed haha.

Saw Mum, she said she was a little down in the dumps but she picked up really well when we were chatting, made me feel sadSmiley Sad

Have my appts for the PDT, they arrived today, states that I may be there for 8 hours each time, WHAT??

There are a lot of things they do for preparation before and after, as long as it's gone afterwards, that's all that matters.

So am thinking will def take crossword books, great idea, not sure for lido but def for those appts, it starts in May so not too long xx

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Yes anxiety does make his symptoms worse, which in turn makes him more angry/anxious so it's an ever increasing (decreasing?!) spiral. Just had a very tense dinner again, which he hasn't eaten. I really don't know what to do to help - can't seem to do right, whatever. Smiley Sad No doubt I'll have indigestion all night now as well! 

 

Yesterday morning he went to the allotment in a taxi and I took him some lunch there, when I finished work, and spent a couple of hours doing some jobs for him. I thought he'd be tired today so we didn't go out anywhere this afternoon. That may have been a mistake. Too much time to feel sorry for himself? Or maybe the plummet in mood again is because he's tired? Who knows. I'm fed up of second guessing. He's been pretty unstable since the baby was born so I think you're right Katy, the excitement (or realisation that he can't be fully involved as she grows up and he gets more incapacitated?) has made him worse. I'm both excited about and dreading the Norfolk trip in 3 week's time. Haven't booked trains yet because he won't say whether he wants to go Friday or Sunday - (cottage is Sat to Sat but I've given up even attempting to get him to travel on a Saturday - he barely managed it for his own daughter's wedding!! Smiley Mad

 

Can you do puzzles during lido? You can get little handbag sized puzzle books if that's of any interest. I play cards on my phone whenever I've got to wait for OH at the hospital. I got a free solitaire app. Smiley Happy 

 

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Aaaah that's lovely JCJ, you will be very excited to meet this little one who is giving so much happinessSmiley Happy

Does anxiety make symptoms worse?

 

Quick nip into town, so couldn't be bothered but managed to buy the things I forgot the other day..........

Am babysitting ED's youngest two tomorrow then up to see Mum, and think YD will be home, so after all the quiet things will be super busy.

Thank you for suggestions, I couldn't find any apart from widows but I didn't fancy that one, managed to buy one guilty by Laura Elliot, it's for my lido on Mon. Everyone is sooooooo far apart now it's difficult to chat, even more difficult to read but will give it a go haha xx