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stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

JCJ Community Champion
Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Don't break up til next Friday. But for first time in YEARS we finish at 1pm instead of 3! Smiley Happy

 

YD here this weekend. We've just put up the Christmas tree and will make a huge batch of mince pies tomorrow, so she can take some home with her. She came all the way from Norwich to supervise the placement of 'Pipe Cleaner Man' (pink pipeclener stick man with a small polystyrene ball head and tiny santa hat - she made it at Brownies many many years ago!) on the tree, and then accidently pulled his head off!! Fortunately, she managed to put it back on.

JCJ Community Champion
Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Delly, my 'fat problems' stem from a gallstone (which could be your tummy problem from your description) which I had removed in August - along with my gallbladder. I couldn't eat any fat at all without severe pain and/or sickness. Now I can eat normally but can't seem to have too much fat, probably because without a gallbladder I have a steady trickle of bile but not a store of it to deal with large amounts of fat.

 

My gallstone was discovered on an ultrasound scan I had "due to my history" when I had 4 'stomach bugs' in 4 months. Try cutting all fat out of your diet (try to keep below 3%) and see if that helps?

 

Next verse for day 11. Final verse of Oh Holey Tights:

 

BC has taught us to love one another,
We live by love and our gospel is peace.
Lynn we shall thwart, for the sleeve is our brother.
And in Benchland’s name all guiltiness shall cease.

Great chunks of guilt to the grateful crocs toss we,
With all our hearts we praise BCC’s name.
Christ, is it warm? Then peeling off a fleece we,
Chomp on an alliburger, dancing round the flame.
Chomp on an alliburger, dancing round the flame

Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

PURPLE RULES - but only to those who LIKE it !! Ok, ok, so I'm behind with YOUR and MY posts. Not been well, awwwww, diddums Delly. Now' seerious tum prob, 4 weeks now.  I  get through 1/3rd a meal and feel sick so have to stop, then feel even WORSE through the 1 hr after. Have had blood and poooooo tests done. Back at docs next week to get results + have appt for UltraSound Scan!! Think he's being very conscientious (am hoping that's ALL), which GIVEN my history is HUGELY appreciated by me.  

Have also asked to be referred back to my previous choice of lady surgeon before my move here, to carry on my BOOB RECON-ditioning, as I like to call it !! STUFF the inconvenience of DISTANCE from me to N M/chester. She has such an amazing REPUTATION and after me meeting, I felt I'd be MORE than happy to place my Delicate, precious little body in the hands of. ??

 

Plus I'm ALSO having to ask for a Ref for a hand specialist. See if I can be helped as oppo to it having to run it's course, before I then have to have finger tendon release and enzyme injections to break down all the crumpled up palm muscles, tendons, connective tissue. Maybe also help me build up the "wasted hand muscles".

Also got appt next week with my knee specialist, dating back to a major, brilliant Anterior Cruciate Ligament Reconstruction 1995, followed by a  "Clear Out" arthroscopy 2011. Need another arthroscopy as knee has locked again, preventing it fully extending, so having to hobble/walk with it slightly bent.

PLUS, had eye test 2 wks ago - early cataracts !!!! Have to allow to "ripen" before anything will be done. Don't have a prob with THAT at ALL, easily remedied !! Explained why I'm struggling with both daylight AND headlights. Bummer this Anno Domini biz - innit !!

I'm most "bothered about my HANDS - but, after speaking to my X neighbour, who's the head of the Physio dept. AND also a head lecturer at the MM Uni in Manchester, there may be "possibilities" for me, to help. Can't tell you how much that meant, 'cos all the I/net info was very, very -ve !! Anyway, I'll see what can happen !!

Hey Katy - why has it taken soooo long to realise BAGS are the answer to everything Xmas - "life" even!! hahaheeeee! Another company I'm gonna buy shares in !!

Ohhhhhh - JCJ - Good for you IGNORING my remarks of Salvation Army songs being sooooo INAPPROPRIATE for Xmas.  I'm teeeasing you. Do you think I really give a  - - - -  ! That's T-O-S-S !! Whatever makes YOU and all ELSE on this 'ere GOLDEN thread Happeeeee is BUENO with MIA !! Cappische ?!

 

Oh Grumpy, what a gawd awfiul time you've had of it up there. whenever Keswick's been mentioned - well, it IS one of my most favourite places. They were calling for volunteers on the rad and I signed up, so should be up there now. But forgot my puddycat !! Can't leave her in the hands of anyone else at the mo' Better than was, but still not 100%, may not be again, Hope NOT. Yeah that's a very hopeful "ohhhh Yes she will". She's also taken to being very demanding of wanting attention AND giving it. when she's not been much bothered the last 3 yrs or so. Hope it's not a sign that she's sensing something !! Anyway please take it that I'm v.v. concerned ref the floods up there. Terribly upsetting for everyone and espesh at THIS time of year. Stupid bloody powers to be, NOT getting rivers dredged etc to AVOID happening AGAIN so quickly. Bloody stupid government duckheads get on my TITS and I don't even have ANY. It's a load of SNOT !!!!!!!!!! and I've had to tone down that language !!

How are your EARS - dear ??!! Both from my above deluge, plus whatever's upsetting them ??

 

Katy - by "Snowballs" me thinks you mean the DRINK variety yes?? I think I prefer the sound of them so I need an invite. I'm an orphan you know. I got the contact for the local Sally Army to volunteer meal duties for Xmas day. Promised myself I would NEVER have an Xmas or NY like last year. Have since had invite from my last boyfriend and his "Husband" !! for Xmas dindins to make up a four. Am in a bit of a quandry cos I'd geared mesen up to doing something "worthwhile" with it being such an ffffflippin awful day for me with family losses, espesh Mum, as we'd got into the habit of going up to the Lakes for Crimbo's after Dad died. 

 

Listen - I've come up with a poem called "Why Is a PRAWN a PRAWN and Not a Shrimp" ?? What happened to the word  "SHRIMP" ?? Such is my most imaginative mind at ALL hours of the morning. I can't give you more details at the mo', because of of potential "copyright" issues. No seriously !! It's all about the diff between SHRIMPS and PRAWNS. Come on, you have to trust me in that it's GOOD witty stuff. Only prob is, I have to keep gettin back to the SEMI conscious state in my 'ED, in order to access IT. It's to do with the diff between shrimps/prawns and what they feed on - sewage pipe detritrous of BLACKPOOL and NORTH WALES, as oppo to the sweet, clean food of ACTUAL "prawns" in other seas !!!!!. It's all based on childhood knowledge of SEWAGE PIPES on the beaches of the afore mentioned areas and "shrimping" with nets !! So I'm NOT making ANYthing up. Have to write it down and then keep it from you all 'cos it's MOMENTOUS in it's importance and significance !! and don't want ANone else pinching my idea !!

JCJ - Hope you get your boiler sorted. Sounds like its a diaphragm that's gone, If it's a COMBI, there are TWO, one between hot water ONLY and Heating ONLY.  And then the other that in the Winter, gives BOTH Hot water AND heating TOGETHER, OR just hot water, OR just heating.A three way "DIVERTER" 'I' know what I'm talking about, whether anyone else DOES is a different matter. I HAVE to get my own sorted, in that,  if the heating's clicked off on the timer - I can't get HOT water full stop!! .Unless I click heating ON. You understandy ?? 'I'  DO.

Don't give up the day job with ref to Carol verses !! But seriously - they're GOOD !! Take no notice of my alter-ego. It has a different coloured SHELL - hows THAT for being "Obscure" ?? !!

Your Xmas school show brings shades of "Love Always" school scenes to me - awwww nice !! So your tums sensitive to fat too. Why's that then in your case.

Back to opticians this morning for a "Dry eye sesh" and advivce + pair of expensive frames that weren't my choice. Lens labs sent me the wrong pair and someone else mine. I'm blond and pale complexion so would I spend two hours in the shop choosing 3 prs of specs, all that have to look bloody brill at what I'm spending on them?? and ONE pair of them NOT to suit me at all. NOT the sage green metallic frames I had sent. Hope they can do something, otherwise I'm gonna blow my top and stomp in the shop. I knew I shudav gone to "SpecSavers" rather than a private little op that's 3 mins walk from me.

I've just absolutely let rip at T*sc*'s, after receiving an email from their bank saying  due to my usage . . . Haven't even used thei card for the last 2 years, so told them where to stick their card and that I'm never gonna step foot in ANY of their stores again. Continuing with "  I no longer have ANY need to EVER use a T*sc*'s AGAIN when I have other far more superior choices that are also cheaper such as *ldi, Lid*, FrozenwaterLand.  You've become too big for your boots. AND if I EVER receive an email from you again, I'll SUE you for breach of my privacy rights "!!!!  If you ever used to watch "Grumpy Old Women", that's how I now AM, shuckersofferbaggerflips (that's me mutter cuttering under my breath!!) steam's coming out of my ears.

GOODBYE.

Speak to you's soon. Keep it up JCJ. Have you broken up now, or Friday should I say??

Dellydoodaa xxx

 

  

Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

25 on Christmas Day then?  Think I'll plan a barbeque!!

 

Fantastic JCJ.  You should consider a career change.........quite obviously you should be  a songwriter  

Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I'm cracking up. I've just checked the weather for the week ahead, it's nice and mild girls, gets a degree warmer everyday....10 today, 11 tomorrow, 12 on Saturday.... Eventually the penny dropped. Oh dear....

JCJ Community Champion
Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Just back from school after a ridiculously long day. Christmas performances all done now though.

 

Fortunately, I wrote this before today. Here is the verse of Oh Holey Tights that's behind the 10th window!

 

Led by the light of Katy’s chariot beaming,
With thumping hearts by Eric’s statue we stand.
O'er the girls the sweat is sweetly gleaming,
Now come the women from out of the Benchland.
To The Kings pub we shall make our way
In all our trials BC made us friends.
We know our needs, whose turn is it to pay?
Behold The Kings! Inside there’s cups of tea!
Behold The Kings! Inside there’s cups of tea!

Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I'm hugging everyone xx

Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Who are we hugging??? xx

JCJ Community Champion
Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I saw the hugs button and the one next to it (??) but they don't seem to work on my (Hudl2) tablet! Smiley Sad

Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Oooooh!!!!! There's a 'hugs' button !   Smiley Happy

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Absolutely brilliant!  Thank you so much.  Committing it to memory right now.

JCJ Community Champion
Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Day 9

 

With sincere apologies, of course, to the original composers/lyricists. Here we have the first verse of Oh holey tights:

 

Oh holey tights

O holey tights! The shoes are brightly shining,
It is the night of our great chariot race.
Long sat the girls in The Station Hotel dining.
Till the dogs appeared and the camels increased their pace.
A thrill of hope the dreary prom rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious form
Tights to your knees! Oh, hear the Benchland voices!

On off with the fleece, “Oh christ, Oh Christ it’s warm!”;
O tights, O holey tights , O tights, o tights knee high

 

I sincerely hope that no one is offended by my irreverent nonsense. No offence meant. Just trying to amuse! Smiley Happy

Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Shouted with laughter at "O holey tights"!  JCJ, you crack me up!  Can't wait for tomorrow now.

Glad you can eat everything now, enjoy your Xmas meal.

 

Katy - decorating...........well............thought about it.........thought about it some more........and no I haven't done it yetSmiley EmbarassedSmiley EmbarassedSmiley Frustrated

 

WILL do it at the weekend. Have to or it's going to look awful over Christmas.

Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Ahha.................JCJ you do have a secret weapon, who needs an extra super, duper exhaust added to your chariot when your bottom obviously will do the job.............thought you would fool us?????? with just your reindeer???? Not a chance! Have still got some marbles left, caught you out!!

Have a lovely night xx

JCJ Community Champion
Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Home briefly before going to nearby pub for staff Christmas meal. I don't have to limit myslef to the most boring thing on the menu this time! Smiley Happy Yes, Katy, I can eat normally now, but I get "indigestion" (terrible flatulence Smiley Embarassed) if I eat a lot of fat. We had a really fatty piece of lamb on Sunday and I suffered all night. No nausea or severe pain, just very very windy!

JCJ Community Champion
Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Day 8:

 

Final verse of Onward:

 

Chorus (see previous posts)


Onward, Norecambe people;
Join our happy throng.
Blend with ours your voices
In the Benchland song:
Tinsel, lycra, knee highs
Utterly covered in bling.
This through countless flushes
We all silently sing.

 

Final rousing chorus.

 

Tomorrow: 1st verse of new Carol, especially for FF: "Oh holey tights" Smiley Happy

 

Today I have been mostly sewing tinsel back on to angel sleeves, (should never have given the angel parts to boys!!) stapling angel wings (ditto) and stopping a full on fight between Roman soldiers during the finale song. The joys of Primary School Christmas performances?! 

Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hahahaha, JCJ, you are funnySmiley LOL

Have been miming, the chorus non stop................

grumpy it makes you very dizzy for a long time, first symptoms are sickness and dizziness.

Pouring again here, when will it stop?

Bought snowballs today, forgot how yummy they are so have left some in the shed.

JCJ, can you eat anything now?

FF, have you decorated?

delly, wake up xx

JCJ Community Champion
Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Behind window number 7:

 

Chorus:

Onward Benchland Chariots

Racing up the prom

Felling Norecambe pensioners

Going like a bomb

 

Like a Roman army

Faces glowing red
Sisters, we are racing
Where those camels led.
Although we have been frightened;
With damaged boobies we:
Live in hope and friendship
Thanks to BCC!

Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Katy if labrynth-whatsit is caused by bits floating round in the inner ears, then yes, it's either that or something to do with trapped nerves in my neck.... gruesome.

Water all gone now, but roads still blocked in places, so the village is like a ghost town.

Yesterday I did a humongous pile of ironing, repaired the roof of the bird table and got all the Christmas stuff out, so there's GLITTER all over the carpet. At least the dog hairs look pretty now!!!!

Grumpy

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Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Day 6: next verse of "Onward" (and nah boo shucks to Delly, who cares if it's a Christmas Carol or not? It's a Benchland Carol! Smiley Tongue)

 

Chorus:

 

Onward Benchland Chariots

Racing up the prom

Felling Norecambe pensioners

Going like a bomb

 

At the statue of Eric,

Circling one, two, three

On then Benchland Chariots

On to victory

The King’s foundations quiver

At the shout of “Please
Barman lift your finger
And bring us 5 large teas!”

 

I save bottle & gift bags, Katy and reuse them with new gift tags (Scrooge?! Smiley Happy) I had a foil one covered in colourful Christmas trees, last year, - that one has been recycled into about 8 Christmas cards!

 

Our central heating is playing silly b***ers. Boiler fine. Thermostat clicks as expected when you turn it up above the room temperature, but it doesn't seem to be communicating with the boiler. We have to keep running the hot tap to make the boiler heat the water and then the heating will come on too! Terrible waste of water, but at least we're not freezing to death!