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stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Am on the "my head is in the right place" bench, woo hoo, back to normal, well, as normal as I can be??

Think I just had to say it out loud or write about it, so no meeting needed tomorrow.

Starts in May.

 

Lovely sunshine here today but it is bitterly cold, faffed around and then went to supermarket, forgot at least 4 things yesterday if it's not on the post it.................

I have an enormous spot on my chin, biggest I have EVER had in my life, what's that all about?? 

Was hoping it would disappear quickly but no it's hanging on for dear life am away to start putting cream on it unless you have a better idea?? xx

 

 

JCJ Community Champion
Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Perfectly understandable, Katy. Get off that twit bench! You're allowed a few moments on the jittery bench though - I've put some mangled éclairs and tea beside it. I think going to the centre for chat and reassurance is a good idea. When does your treatment start? You managed RT and it won't be as invasive or intense as that? If the docs are confident the treatment will work then you hold onto that thought. Hugs xx

Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Am not nodding but shaking my head as in Noooooooooooooooooo!! hahahaSmiley Happy

Chicken and messy eclairs yum yum................thank you.

And birdies woo hoo!

Not sure whether to be insulted or not JCJ??? Smiley WinkI would not want to "do" the wheelchair as that is my biggest fear so chariot is my friend, was extremely self conscious for ages and can still feel uncomfortable at times but it is a necessity...........

Had hair chopped today, mirror was not my buddy, buddy at all, yuck.

YD and GS are away for a couple of days so have had some thinking time, the "C" word is scaring me a little, it wasn't bothering me before when I was plopping cream on "it" but now there is a plan, it's real?? So am going to pop up to the local centre, just to get my head around it, am not worried about treatment and have no doubt it will def get rid, it's that word.................what am I like??? Away to sit on the "twit" bench xx

 

 

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Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Forgot to say: the bluetits are nest building in the camera box again and one of them is sleeping in there tonight. Fingers crossed we'll have our own private Springwatch again. Smiley Very Happy

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Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I expect you have mixed feelings about the noddy head, Katy? Nothing serious and no more apptmts required but then nothing can be done so you just have to put up with it!? Smiley Sad Smiley Happy Nod if you agree with me. Smiley Tongue Sorry, that was unnecessary. (But funny?) 

 

I talked to OH about a chariot but he's not keen - he associates them with little old ladies (sorry, KTC - his words, not mine) and can't face the public humiliation - at the moment. He has at least admitted that the next time we go to Sainsburys (other....) he should use one of the wheelchairs provided so he can come around the store with me (a mixed blessing but I won't tell him that!! Smiley Tongue) He'll probably change his mind when it actually comes to it though!

 

YD has asked me to knit an animal mobile for GD. Had fun researching patterns. It'll be a good way to use up some oddments of wool. Can't wait to get started. Got to finish knitting a monkey first. 

 

Made some chocolate éclairs yesterday. Never made choux pastry before but I saw them on bake off and thought it looked simple enough. Nightmare. Realised my piping bag got thrown away because it broke. Tried to make one with a plastic bag but ended up with pastry dough (and then cream) oozing out absobloodylutely EVERYWHERE. In the end, I just sliced the pastry to make a pocket and bunged the cream in. Didn't exactly win any presentation prizes with the chocolate icing either. The finished éclairs looked awful, but I'm pleased to say they taste delicious. Had some with raspberry sorbet for dessert tonight. YUM !! Will put some in the shed, along with the roast chicken dinner.

 

Thinking of you, FF, and hope you're not feeling too ****. Hugs. xx

Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hahaha!!! Can just imagine guffawing with laughter................now if you had adorned your tiara.................things may have been different!!

Hope you enjoyed your swimSmiley Happy

 

With the chariot, because OH will be holding handles he may not shake, am not sure with PD if that makes a difference??

With the sticks you are def not as secure, I stagger a lot and chariot stops that, also can walk at a reasonable speed which I wouldn't be able to do and added bonus you can carry stuff, woo hoo!

Saw consultant about shaky head yesterday, all ok, he says he sees a lot of people who have chronic pain displaying same symptoms it's the brain misfiring, nothing can be done about it. So from what he was saying I feel I am one of the lucky ones because I can control it where as many can't. Am done and dusted unless any other symptoms appear and appt basis will be kept open xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

My. Arm. Hurts! Smiley Sad And that's BEFORE I've gone swimming! 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Did you get enough to drink this time, with your lido? Thumpy head could be dehydration?

 

I've wondered about a chariot but OH not that keen. He'd rather use 2 sticks at the moment. We'll see. I think one will help his balance but I'm not sure if the shaking would make it tricky to use. I don't suppose it would help much with the pain in his knee either. 

 

He's been much better today. He even got a taxi and went to a Parkinson's support group this morning! One he chickened out of a few months ago. He didn't much like it and probably won't go again, but I am sooo pleased he tried it. Definitely a sign of a more positive frame of mind. Smiley Happy

 

This afternoon we went to the volunteer allotment and got the big petrol mower out of its hibernation. The allotment is raised beds with grass everywhere in between and around the edges, so LOTS of grass to mow which was long and wet! A real comedy moment with me using the big, heavy mower for the first time. It's really heavy. There is a lever for the power and another to drive it forwards. With this 2nd lever squeezed the machine takes off at breakneck speed and I found myself chasing it and clinging on for dear life!! I eventually got the knack, but at first my instinct was to just squeeze the levers harder the faster it went - to keep hold of the thing, but also like the brakes on a bike. Of course, if I released the drive lever slightly, the mower slowed to a manageable pace. It took me over an hour, with a stop for tea and a hot x bun, but I finally got all the grass cut - apart from the bits that need the strimmer, didn't attempt to get to grips with that beast today; will safe that for next tine. My arms are throbbing now. Swimming tomorrow will be a challenge! Tea in the chippy cafe in town. My reward. Nom Nom. Such decadence - dinner out 2 nights running? Smiley Very Happy

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Aaaaah that's great news JCJ, everyone will be glad it's over and done withSmiley Happy, good also that she has managed weight gain with it, imagine what she'll be like now, haha. Just pleased for all your girls.

I would def find it scary, the scooter............could he manage with a chariot?? If the right one is purchased makes an amazing difference.

 

An awful day here pouring with rain and oh so cold. Went with YD and GS to the swimming pool, I was a watcher/helper. he was quite the thing and was happy in the water much to YD 's delight. So success.

Visited Mum in the afternoon, we brought a white pudding supper as a surprise and she loved it haha.

Straight back home feeling really tired, head still a bit thumpy, tomorrow is another daySmiley Happyxx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Update from my girls: tongue tie gone. Just a little snip,  a few tears and a little blood and it already seems to have improved matters. Time will tell when it heals. However, YD says GD has, despite the feeding problems, already gained weight and is now back up past her birth weight. She is, apparently "eating like a H******" (my maiden name. Our family has a reputation for enjoying our food! Smiley Very Happy) That's my girl!  

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Woohoo! Cannula success again. Yey! Glad you're feeling better today. Phew! Only two 8 hour PDT sessions. Fingers crossed it works first time.

Not heard from the girls tonight,  but I don't know what time this evening the 'procedure' was booked in for. 

We went to do the supermarket shop this afternoon. Dinner in the café. Chose a table near to service desk for OH's dodgy legs. Quite by chance there was a high chair at the table, so we dined with our invisible GD. Smiley Happy

OH struggling this week. Sh***y sh***y PD. :'( Yesterday, he announced he'd found a solution to getting out and about independently: a small electric car called a G Whizz, only available to buy - or try - near London. He planned to get a friend to drive him there. I knew I'd heard bad things about this vehicle so I did some Internet research. It has an appalling safety record. I tried to stay positive and supportive but I had to dissuade him from this idea for all the reasons he gave up driving in the first place!! - mostly anxiety and danger to other road users. At least in a mobility scooter he'd be able to get off the road onto a pavement if he felt in danger. And wouldn't have to rely on his drivers licence being renewed next year either. 

I think he realised I was right, and asked if we could go to a shop to look at some scooters. The assistant recommended a sturdy looking model that would do the distances required and cope with the hills near our house. He let OH drive it around the shop and up the street a little way. OH managed OK but he said he felt very nervous. He's decided he's "left it to late" to start using one. He said it's a lot of money if he's too scared to go out in it and it just sits in the garage. Now he's feeling trapped and depressed again. Smiley Sad

He didn't manage to come around the supermarket with me today - just went back up to sit in the (now closed) café with his newspaper. He'd left his phone at home so I spent the whole shop wondering where he was and hoping he was OK! Stress! 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hope all has gone well with your baby GD JCJ and feeding is a lot better today, what a shame poor little girly. She will be munching non stop soon and DIL and YD will be able to relax a little.

 

Oh my felt sooooooooo bad yesterday, sick and pounding headache, yuck, am fine today just a little tired. Canula was first attempt thats twice in a row now, woo hoo!!

Am just about to have a shower and set off into town, wont be long but think fresh air will do me good.

Two sessions are on the cards, imagine every day haha. Would just give upSmiley LOL A check up after three months, if still there, more sessions but usually successful with the two xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Feeling yuck x will be back tomorrow x

JCJ Community Champion
Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Thought of you, FF, as I put the clocks forward last night. Hope the longer days/lighter evenings help you to feel better. 

 

Baby GC has a tongue tie which is making feeding difficult and painful for DIL, but it's easily fixed in a small procedure that she's booked in for on Tuesday. Hopefully that will make life easier for them. I feel helpless so far away. We've recalculated and realised that YD will be back at work when we're there - apart from Easter weekend. I booked the train tickets yesterday. 3 weeks today. Smiley Happy

 

8 HOURS, Katy??  How many times do you have to go? Not daily like RT I hope??! 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Yes it is sad the realisation that you may not be able to do all the things you would like to do with GC but you can do not too active things that children love, I know from experience haha!! When he sees the joy from your GD his heart will melt and he will enjoy silly playing, reading stories etc etc. Best not to let the sad thoughts take over...........easier said than done...........but they love you regardless.

 

Was superly busy today, both GC whilst ED had her appts managed fine and my GS said he would like me to stay in their house forever, I could even sleep in his Mum's bed haha.

Saw Mum, she said she was a little down in the dumps but she picked up really well when we were chatting, made me feel sadSmiley Sad

Have my appts for the PDT, they arrived today, states that I may be there for 8 hours each time, WHAT??

There are a lot of things they do for preparation before and after, as long as it's gone afterwards, that's all that matters.

So am thinking will def take crossword books, great idea, not sure for lido but def for those appts, it starts in May so not too long xx

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Yes anxiety does make his symptoms worse, which in turn makes him more angry/anxious so it's an ever increasing (decreasing?!) spiral. Just had a very tense dinner again, which he hasn't eaten. I really don't know what to do to help - can't seem to do right, whatever. Smiley Sad No doubt I'll have indigestion all night now as well! 

 

Yesterday morning he went to the allotment in a taxi and I took him some lunch there, when I finished work, and spent a couple of hours doing some jobs for him. I thought he'd be tired today so we didn't go out anywhere this afternoon. That may have been a mistake. Too much time to feel sorry for himself? Or maybe the plummet in mood again is because he's tired? Who knows. I'm fed up of second guessing. He's been pretty unstable since the baby was born so I think you're right Katy, the excitement (or realisation that he can't be fully involved as she grows up and he gets more incapacitated?) has made him worse. I'm both excited about and dreading the Norfolk trip in 3 week's time. Haven't booked trains yet because he won't say whether he wants to go Friday or Sunday - (cottage is Sat to Sat but I've given up even attempting to get him to travel on a Saturday - he barely managed it for his own daughter's wedding!! Smiley Mad

 

Can you do puzzles during lido? You can get little handbag sized puzzle books if that's of any interest. I play cards on my phone whenever I've got to wait for OH at the hospital. I got a free solitaire app. Smiley Happy 

 

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Aaaah that's lovely JCJ, you will be very excited to meet this little one who is giving so much happinessSmiley Happy

Does anxiety make symptoms worse?

 

Quick nip into town, so couldn't be bothered but managed to buy the things I forgot the other day..........

Am babysitting ED's youngest two tomorrow then up to see Mum, and think YD will be home, so after all the quiet things will be super busy.

Thank you for suggestions, I couldn't find any apart from widows but I didn't fancy that one, managed to buy one guilty by Laura Elliot, it's for my lido on Mon. Everyone is sooooooo far apart now it's difficult to chat, even more difficult to read but will give it a go haha xx

 

 

JCJ Community Champion
Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

The last thing she ever did by Gregg Olsen

When you disappeared by John Mars

Follow You Home by Mark Edwards

Widows by Lynda la Plante

Just a few suggestions for you: things I've read on my kindle (99p bargains)

Had a video call from my girls tonight. ❤️ The adult ones looked so happy. GD is sleeping lots now. DIL's milk has come in so she's well fed and content. Photo of her under the blanket I knitted. Smiley Happy 

OH cancelled his physio appointment today - couldn't face it - and he seems a little better today, though still very anxious. 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Aaaaah a foot hahaha!!

Yes, they are easy to fall in love with JCJSmiley Happy

Am sorry your OH is a bit worse, maybe just the excitement of the new baby?? 

 

Went for lunch, it was lovely and had a little wander around town, had to take bra back, it was see through, WHAT??? Certainly didn't look like that online so had a quick look about but no success so will be wearing old one a lot longer now. (do have others but all even more uncomfortable)Smiley Frustrated

Am sitting on the "can't stop yawning" bench, have been staying up later than norm cause I can haha, and it's taking it's toll will def go to bed soon.

Am looking for a new book preferably psychological thriller, any ideas?? xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hope you're not too quiet with YD and GS away, Katy. Enjoy the chance to rest and recover.

YD got 5 weeks off: 2 weeks holiday, 2 weeks paternity leave and 1 week accrued doing overtime. Unfortunately, I think that means she will be back at work when we visit at the end of April. We did think she might still be off.

DIL is a bit emotional and stressing about feeding but the midwife visited today and is happy that baby has only lost 6% of birth weight which is apparently normal so she must be feeding OK.

I'm getting daily photos. "Baby spam" as YD calls them! Smiley Happy Falling in love with GD from a distance. Both her mums are clearly besotted already: "She is such a perfect little nugget that we can't hold the fact that sleep is a distant memory against her" !!

 

OH not doing too well. Seems to be getting shakier by the day and he said he couldn't manage to swim last night. Such a sh***y disease. :'(IMG-20190322-WA0003.jpgMonkey feet

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

So much for the semi retirement............isn't it funny you get so much busier??

Aaah good news all your girls are home, is your YD off for a while?

Had my lunch out was very good I couldn't eat all of it which is most unusual for me.

Have to do shopping tomorrow and pick up a new bra, hate bras now and stick with the same one till it falls apart, I find them REALLY uncomfortable..........

House is very, very quiet YD and GS have left for a couple of days, I miss them already xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

YD just messaged me to say they're all home safe. Mum & baby discharged from hospital this afternoon. GD is doing well: "feeding and pooing like a trooper" apparently (and she doesn't even have any of my genes!! Smiley Tongue)

 

Looong day. Usually I have Thursday afternoons to myself because OH takes a taxi to a nearby pub on the canal, after he's spent a couple of hours volunteering in the library, and I fetch him back at 5pm. Today he came straight home from library and wanted me to take him to the allotment. I was not best pleased! My few hours mowing the lawn and pottering leisurely about turned into speedily mowing both lawns, ferrying OH to the seed shop and the allotment, planting onions and digging up leeks. Then whizz home to get dinner and back out to swimming. Grrrrrr.

 

However, I have persuaded him that we need to take the car when we go away for 2 weeks in August. Can't face negotiating trains with enough luggage for 2 of us self catering for 2 weeks!! He thinks he'll be able to cope with the journey if he sits in the back, like he does all the time now; much less stressful - for both of us! So last night I booked a cottage in Colwyn Bay for 2 weeks. It's Sunday to Sunday too,  so no problem with his ridiculous aversion to travelling on a Saturday. Yay! Smiley Very Happy

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Yabba dabba doo! A baby girl!  Many congrats to you JCJ on becoming a grannie, gran. nanny, nana, grandma!  Whatever name you have chosen.  More congrats to your girls who have become parents ftor the first time.Glad everytthing went well although long.

 

Weather is bleuch!  Drizzle and fog. Spirits are lifting though as February is done with and it's nearly time to put the clocks forward!

 

I was going to go out today with Daughter to a local garden centre but it's been postponed as littlest GD has a nasty cold and is off school.

 

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Any new news on the girls JCJ??

 

Dental check up today, all good, clean and shiny now! 

Received early Mothers Day gift, ED can never wait haha and off I was blubbing again, so am going to sit on the "getting on my own nerves" bench............and eat all the chocolate..............

Feet are not unbearable so that's good, must be kicking in and next lido is soon, hurrah.

Out for lunch tomorrow and have been invited out to lunch on Mon too (late birthday gift) so am all excited.

Youngest GD had her check up yesterday she is heavier than baby GS, she is a big girly. She is doing everything she should be doing so she is doing very well xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Woo hoo scooby/booby doo, many congratulations JCJ, a baby GD, hurrahSmiley Very Happy

Wonderful news!!!

Sending you big nannie hugs xx

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Extra choccy supplies by the CSL bench, Katy - or the teary blubby bench as you've renamed it? Smiley Tongue

 

GD born this mornin!! DIL's waters broke Monday lunchtime,  she was induced yesterday and baby finally arrived at 7:30am today. Only spoke briefly to YD on the phone this afternoon because they were all exhausted having gone 36 hours without sleep. Seen photos and I can't wait to meet the new family member in person in 4 1/2 week's time!  Smiley Very Happy

 

If you're reading this, FF, I hope you've had the sunny day we've had and that it has lifted your spirits. Hugs. 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Was soooooooooooo tired last night, everyone came in the afternoon, couldn't be bothered munching dinner sooooooooo had to search the shed this morning for leftovers.........

Did a lot of tidying, hoovering and ironing today, went to have a muggatea and the milk was off, yuck, which meant a quick run over to supermarket.

Am having serious problems just now am constantly on the "teary, blubby" bench, I CAN'T stop anything slightly emotional whether sad or happy off I go...............it's getting to the embarrassing stage now. Even worse ED is still emotional after having baby so am making her cry tooSmiley Embarassed  xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

It's all those chocolates, Katy...... Oh. HIS bottom. Smiley Very Happy

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Glad you are beginning to pick up FF, we were worriedSmiley Sad

 

Hand looks good so no hospital visit, thank goodness.

Was meant to have everyone here today but it's been snowing for ages so for the moment it's cancelled, am ok about it because I can just faff around, much needed to get over yesterday haha.

Sounds as if reports are excellent JCJ, all down to you ofcourse.

GS is sitting quietly beside me while his Mum is in the shower, bottom has just exploded, his not mine...................xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Helloooo FF *waves both arms wildly in the air*.  Relieved to see you in BENCHLAND again. We missed you. Sorry you've been feeling ****. The nights are definitely drawing out now and  the clocks go forward at the end of the month so hopefully you'll soon feel a bit better. I hope Purdie is behaving herself and keeping you company. Hugs xx

 

Hugs to you too KTC after your sh**ty day. Hope your hand is OK. 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hello * waves* Sorry I've been MIA for a while .Some of it is due to sporadic wifi but most of it due to SAD.  I have been particulary affected this year. Usually  take St Johns Wort  which helps but haven't been able to this year as other meds more important react with it.  I've been reading but haven't felt able to conribute. 

 

I am feeling a little better as I am now leaving school in daylight. there is now light at the end of the tunnel! .

 

Katy, I appreciate the PM and the text messge, sorry I worried you and JCJ but this happens every year with the SAD.

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

well have had a stinker of a day.................so many things went wrong to mention grrrrrrrrrrr!

last one being while washing a juice glass it broke and sliced my hand, properly sliced, arrrrgh

i burst into tears, more of frustration than pain haha. thought i literally have no time to go up to hospital so when it stopped bleeding i closed over little flap stuck gauze and a plaster on it and will sort it out tomorrow, sigh.

So am going to go to bed early to shut out the crazy for a little while xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

hope all went well and reports are glowingSmiley Happy

will have to look for the choc yummy things haha.

quiet day, actually fell asleep, must have been the excitement of my 40th, Smiley Wink

saw mum yesterday and after weeks of her not looking too well, she was looking fab, so that was really good.

received some pennies for birthday so am thinking of buying some really nice perfume so will be sniffing around tomorrow................

have not eaten too many creme eggs this year............not cause i'm being good................but because i'm eating every other choc known to man.................xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Dreaded O in school today and tomorrow. No idea how it's going but by tomorrow evening it will be over at long last. Hopefully we'll have done well enough for them to leave us alone for a while. Fingers crossed. 

 

Still frantically knitting a green 3-6 months hoodie. I've bought chocolates for the mummies too, to go in the parcel of cuddly toys and knitted hoodies. If I can resist eating them!! (the chocs, not the toys or knitted items! Smiley Tongue)

 

Discovered my new favourite thing: dark choc pretzels = "Flipz" . Oh my days! So deliciously, irresistibly moreish!! 

 

Had to Google PDT, Katy - I'm guessing it's nothing to do with Pacific  Daylight Time! Smiley Very Happy - doesn't sound TOO scary? Hope it sorts you skin problems out.

 

Horrible wet, windy weather today. Kids in all day at school - just what we needed??! And Met Office weather warnings for strong winds tomorrow. That'll make the little darlings even more wampy. Deep joy!!  Hey ho. 

Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Shed is intact, 40 candles, you guessed correctly JCJSmiley Wink

Lovely times in Benchland and at home and lovely gifts, sentimental, of course that had me blubbing awaySmiley Embarassed

 

Sometimes it's not good to know or see too much JCJ, just keep in mind that nurse was really pleased with your OH and his progression. Hugs to you x

Your baby GD will be here soon!!

 

Appt was for leg, what am I like??

No operation because of the scarring, so she has decided PDT, not confirmed as combined team make the final decision, so will wait and see. Am going to be using chemo cream on my face, arrrrrgh. Hopefully will not be too messy. Pre cancer bits so having been using another cream, she says chemo cream will get rid of them once and for all.

Was a really nice day, now it's torrential rain, yuck xx

Ooops thank you for special birthday dinner, yum, yum!!!

 

 

 

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Happy Big birthday Katy. 40?? Smiley Tongue Hope you had a lovely time. The sparklers were amazingly beautiful - (even if some of the words spelt out were a tad shocking!) Dinner tonight was in your honour: baked ham with maple syrup infused gravy with all the usual, followed by nectarine slices in brandy, shortbread, ice cream and frozen peach & passion fruit yoghurt. Tiaras compulsory. Enjoy. Chocolate birthday cake in the shed - be quick and blow the candles out before the whole shed catches fire! Smiley Tongue

 

Fingers crossed for your appointment tomorrow, whatever it is!  Hope it goes OK and you get some answers/effective treatment. 

 

Watched the PD documentary on TV this weekend . And wish we hadn't! Bit of a depressing end to it, and it was quite worrying to see just how debilitating the disease is. Really wished OH hadn't watched it. He was in an odd mood before and it certainly hasn't helped. Smiley Sad

 

Still waiting for baby news. And the dreaded O. at school. Hopefully, the latter will be this week, to get it over with.  I'll be happy if baby is 2 weeks late because then she'll still be wee small when we meet her at the end of April, but DIL has had enough and wants her born ASAP. I remember that feeling! 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hello Ali, am sure you will find the answers you need on hereSmiley Happy, remember and let us know how you get on.

Woo hoo JCJ, it's done, another job ticked off the list.

No baby news as yet???

Have had a really quiet day, it's really cold so am glad I didn't have to venture out. My feet are a mess am obviously walking in an odd manner, have blisters and cuts on the soles, nothing really I can do apart from not walk haha.

Am off the "unhinged" bench, have been thinking that appt is really too fast, can't see it being that quick and was thinking it's prob the appt that I have been waiting almost 3 years for...............nothing to do with my leg. ED says phone them but am just going to wait till Mon, it's only a few days. Either or it's fineSmiley Happy

Am celebrating a big birthday this weekend so ballgowns, tiaras, sparklers and glitterberry juice order of the day!! xx

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hi Ali, lovely to "see" you. Can't offer advice re reconstruction but I'm sure there will be many ladies on the forum who can help you decide. 

 

Car is gone. Driver turned up on time. He examined the car and phoned the company (same one as before as they were offering the highest price with no admin fees or collection charge) they knocked another £300 off the price they were prepared to pay for the car because I hadn't mentioned (or noticed) that both bumpers were scratched. I'd told them about the scratches along the side of the car. Apparently bumpers are harder/more expensive to fix Smiley Sad. As the driver took the car off the drive, I noticed an obvious dent in the rear passenger side door which I'd not spotted before. I didn't mention it, but it's made me feel a bit less annoyed about the lower price. Money in our account before the driver took the car away. Sorted. Not as stress-free as I'd hoped, but at least it's done without TOO much hassle.

Reversed my car back on the drive afterwards - loads of space now - and made a proper mess of it. No point of reference, in the dark, without the silver car to line myself up on!! Doh!! 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hello Benchies! I've been in France for a couple of weeks, OH had to work there so I tagged along. Twas lovely! Might have to brave the main forum to ask advice re reconstruction. Skin has recovered after the urgent removal of the implant so now its on to the next step. I don't fancy another implant, nor having any muscle cut and moved so it's either stay as I am and use Gladys (doesn't everyone name their prosthesis?) or the DIEP flap option. Hmmm....

Am going to make myself a cuppa and read back to see what you've all been up to Smiley Happy

Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Thank you xx Had to laugh, you KNOW me soooooooooooooo wellSmiley Happy

Fingers crossed car is gone, maybe a woo hoo???

Did you try someone else? xx

 

PS I do remember your neighbour's storySmiley Happy

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hugs KTC, I've put buckets of tea and several creme eggs and a large chocolate cake by the Jittery Bench. At least they're on it quickly and you don't have to stress for 5 weeks!!

 

My neighbour has had several skin cancer ops over the 30 years we've known him and he's still going strong in his 80s so don't panic!!

 

Trying again to have OH's car collected today. Just had a call from the driver to say he'll be here between 2:30 and 3pm, so we're already doing better than last time! Fingers crossed - (those that aren't already crossed for you, KTC Smiley Tongue) xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Am on the feeling "slightly unhinged" bench, went to docs yesterday and he confirmed that the thing on my leg was still there despite the chemo cream etc so he said he would send pics off and would prob have an appt in around 5 weeks.

Wasn't too surprised being honest..............

Well this morning I receive a phone call asking if I could come in on Monday, so now the FEAR starts haha.

 

GS had his 3 jabs and had a cry, so did I, he's a little out of sorts today but next one isn't until he is one, whew!

It's pouring with rain here and unfortunately I do have to go out, grrrrrrrrrr, have been hanging off hoping it would stop but will have to bite the bullet and be drenchedSmiley Frustratedxx

Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

That's great news JCJ about your OH, nice to hear he is doing well, will def give him more confidenceSmiley Happy

Would just go with the Benchland regalia, you have all the stuff and you know you look fabulous!!

Any day now.....................exciting................

 

Nipped into town early this morning, came home and sat for a few hours, phoned a taxi and went up to see Mum, YD and GS came home around teatime, so am now exhausted..........

Lido has to build up in your body and because I had to wait the 10 weeks it's like I'm starting from scratch againSmiley Frustrated Pain is superly intense at the moment, grrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Going with YD and GS tomorrow for his jabs, then off to docs for me, they are in opposite directions so may just jump in another taxi, what am I like?? haha xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Goodness me! Where did that week go? More to the point, where did February go??

 

I'm OK, adapting to the new routines. OH's physio appointment was on Tuesday and they gave him a "torture device" which straps around his ankle and hooks into his shoe eyelets. There are tension straps which keep the foot from dropping or turning inwards. He wore it for a very short,  painfully slow walk in a country park on our way back from the hospital, then took it off and has refused to wear it since! PD nurse came to see us on Thursday. I thought she was coming to assess his needs around the house and I was a bit depressed that I thought that meant they were assuming an imminent decline in mobility/ability, but it turned out to be just a routine follow up appointment. She said he's doing incredibly well for someone 5 years on from diagnosis. He's still on fairly low doses of drugs and there are other options available too if/when needed. Made us feel so much better.

 

There was a programme on tele about PD this week. I recorded it but so far haven't managed to bring myself to watch it. 

 

Got to dress up (grrrrr!), for world book day on Thursday, as a WORD from my favourite book. What?? That is so difficult! I've chosen "fascinating" from The Owl Who Was Afraid of the Dark. Any ideas? Should I just go with the full BENCHLAND regalia?

 

OFSTED due any day (we were told "February"!!) so school is a tad stressful. We are all on tenterhooks!

 

Dinner tonight is roast chicken, Yorkshire pudding, roasties, roasted parsnips, creamed leeks, sprouts and carrots followed by.... probably plum & apple crumble and custard.... haven't decided yet. All welcome as per... 

 

No news from the girls yet. Any day now - due date is 8th! I'm still knitting. Green hoodie size 6-9 months. Grey hoodie, a very cute cuddly grizzly bear, the BCC bunny and a half-made card are all waiting to be parcelled up. So exciting. I hope they don't give her a very long name because I've not left a massive space for it on the card, between “Welcome" and "S*****n"  (their surname) spelt out in colourful shiny letters. I've got a  tubful of letters so that shouldn't be a problem.

 

Rest those feet, Katy. Is your lido not doing its stuff this time? When is the next one due?

Hope everyone else is doing OK. 

Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

All quiet in Benchland................hope you are all ok.

Have been quiet here too, YD and GS in another city for a few days.

Soooooooo have just been faffing around, can't really jaunt around at the moment.

Bought a new pair of shoes really padded but not really making a differenceSmiley Frustrated

Getting some more Mum stuff done, you think something is done and dusted then it pops up again, grrrrrrrrrrrr. Am hopefully nearing the end now, every time I say that???

Sunny but oh sooooooo cold here, my teeth have been chattering this week xx

Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I didn't know that...............cupboards SHRINK.................

Oh well won't be doing anymore clearouts then hahaha! Great excuse.

Dinner yummy, love roast beef!

Quick run into town, had hair chopped and dashed into supermarket. Feet are not great so am just doing short journeys.

Not long now until your grandbaby will be born JCJSmiley Happy Are you still knitting? Can you crochet? Are they all prepared? xx

 

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

There's a rule about kitchen cupboards that I have discovered: as soon as you take anything out of one it shrinks ever so slightly so you can't get it back in. Obviously, if you take everything out, you won't have any chance of getting it all back in. I think it's that built in obsolescence we hear so much about - eventually your cupboards will be so small you're forced to buy a new kitchen. Smiley Tongue

 

Dinner was roast beef etc (no yorkies though because we went away instead of doing the supermarket shop and I didn't bother trying to make any because mine never come out right) followed by chocolate pear pudding and ice cream. By the virtue of virtuality it is still both hot and delicious! Smiley Very Happy

 

Training day today. Spelling. All day. Yaaaaawn! 

Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Oh my gosh what a bargainSmiley Happy, sounds good too..................

All the windows??? you are on the "swotty dotty" bench.

 

Must be catching, thought I would clean out the cupboard that has pots, dishes etc, idea was it would be neat and tidy and I would have more space...............not a chance..............it's a little tidier and I have no space whatsoever??? WHAT, how did I manage that??

So am hopefully looking forward to dinner tonight, have been loitering around the shed for hours now xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I have made a new bench. It's an amalgamation of the Smug Bench and the kn*****ed Bench. I've just cleaned ALL the windows in the house. I never do them all in one go because we have big picture windows in every room of the house and a sun lounge that is more than half glass!! Suddenly, paying the window cleaners £11 to clean the outsides doesn't seem half so expensive!! No doubt I will soon be on the FF bench when the sun moves around and highlights all the streaks, smears and missed bits! Smiley Mad

 

Dinner last night was good. We all had the roast dinner special (choice of any, or all, of: beef, pork, chicken) with all the trimmings, followed by a dessert (chocolate fudge cake and cream/white chocolate & raspberry roulade/lemon meringue pie respectively) and it all came to under £30 for the three of us. Bargain!

 

You've gone quiet, FF, hope you're OK xx

Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Happy you have enjoyed yourself albeit with not much sleep haha.

Glad also OH was fine and you were able to drive without any turmoil, I thought it was because he was grumpy and didn't even think about the PD, the more journeys you do perhaps he will be able to relax a little more too. Fingers crossed.

Have never tried a memory foam, I don't know anyone who has either...........

 

Have been on the "sad" bench today, it's been horrible, the realisation about Mum is finally hitting homeSmiley Sad

Will be fine tomorrow just one of those days..........xx