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Posts: 105
Registered: ‎11-06-2013

Re: Are there any lesbian women out there diagnosed with bc? feel like I'm the only one!

Debbie, FANTASTIC news!! Have you stopped celebrating yet? ;-) How are the holidays (plans and actual) shaping up? I like the silver fox look myself, though am currently sporting a JessieJ + various malfunctioning headgear.

Moorcow, I'll also be having ANC down the line, so will definitely appreciate hearing how it was for you.

Julie, the heat is ok if I stay out of it. Cooler up here (Edinburgh) right now thank flip.

Lucy, welcome to this thread - have also posted on the one you started.

As for me, I'm FECx2, day 11, which is when my energy levels start to climb and I feel more like myself. Surprised myself by doing some yoga this morning - stiff back, clicky hips. But it was great! What with the surgery and the chemo I'd not really felt up to it until now, but my BC consultant encouraged me to get back into it when I felt ready. Anyway the dog is reminding me he needs his morning walk so I'll scoot for now.

Bye, all. Gus x
Member
Posts: 14
Registered: ‎28-10-2012

Re: Are there any lesbian women out there diagnosed with bc? feel like I'm the only one!

Hi all you wonderful ladies. Thanks for keeping this thread going.
Back at work full time now and it's good to be back to a little normality, I'm now just starting the 6week holidays too, nice rest for a little while longer
;-) the joys of working with children !
Had great news today, CT scan results came back clear so that's mammo and ct scan clear. . Whooohoo, can't stop smiling, Can celebrate a little now :-) is about time for some good news, it's been horrendous 13 months. I've just had 2 ladies I know well diagnosed with this crappy disease so fingers crossed for then and everyone else having treatment/diagnosed and recovering from the bc nightmare. It's been a tough ride up to now
. Everyone loves my new silver Fox look so I'm keeping, no more hair dye bottles for me... that should save me a few pennies. .. you have to look for the positives dont you.
Off on holiday next week so fingers crossed no flash floods but raging sunshine.
Very Best wishes to all you having chemo, scans tests etc... I think about this journey all the time.and the ladies who are just starting, It's a nightmare but is doable..I was just starting chemo this time last year, couldn't imagine seeing Xmas at the time Now ready to go on holiday. ... How the mind is so cruel at times.
Best wishes and
Huge hugs to all of you ((( )))
Debbie
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Posts: 663
Registered: ‎01-05-2012

Re: Are there any lesbian women out there diagnosed with bc? feel like I'm the only one!

HI everyone, lovely to see you again JulieD. best of luck with your results Lucy58, I had ax clearance too so shout if you need any info I might be able to help with. Best of luck for rest of chemo Gussie. Hope all good Debbie -t,
in sisterhood,
moorcow
Community Champion
Posts: 1,557
Registered: ‎01-05-2012

Re: Are there any lesbian women out there diagnosed with bc? feel like I'm the only one!

Hi Lucy,

Sorry you've had to join us but welcome. Hope you are recovering well from op and your meeting with Onc on 2nd goes well. I guess you won't know what treatment you'll be having till you have that meeting but hope all goes well, let us know how you're doing.

Gussie poems can be a great way of letting emotions out. Glad you are feeling better and hope SE's are kind to you, specially in this heat! I had a wig party with my sisters when I had my primary dx, was a real laugh and have a photo of us reflected in a mirror looking like members of Queen!

Hope everyone is keeping cool xx
Member
Posts: 52
Registered: ‎22-07-2013

Re: Are there any lesbian women out there diagnosed with bc? feel like I'm the only one!

I am newly diagnosed, and a lesbuan. Had lumpectomy and axillary node clearance 11 days ago. See the oncologist on the 2nd.
Hope all is well with you.
Member
Posts: 105
Registered: ‎11-06-2013

Re: Are there any lesbian women out there diagnosed with bc? feel like I'm the only one!

Julie, I'm angry when I think about my husband ;-) but I will channel that to good and raise it appropriately when the moment's right. My work is fairly closely connected with some of the oncs so I will find an informal as well as more formal way to raise awareness. I'm always happy to do that coz I've been out for so long and had so many interactions with medics thru my partner's illness, and I think how it must be if you don't have that experience &/or confidence. Meanwhile I wrote a poem which made me feel better...!

Debbie/moorcow, good advice about not doing too much too soon esp re work. I met my boss for a coffee yesterday and he is keen I don't rush back too soon - and reassuring me there is still being a job for me at the other side of all this! Don't see how I can go back while I'm having chemo. Yes I have more energy in week 3 but living on my own I need to catch up with all the stuff I didn't do in the last 2 weeks & get ready for the next 2!

As I'm feeling much better (FEC cycle 1, day 17) I actually quite enjoyed the last few days, including comedy wig fitting (wasn't going to bother then realised it was my chance for a Joan Jett rock chick look so cheers NHS Scotland for the wig prescription). My hair's starting to come out now, so off for a buzz cut in the next day or so then buffs and scarves a-go-go. And occasional wiggery. ;-)
Community Champion
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Registered: ‎01-05-2012

Re: Are there any lesbian women out there diagnosed with bc? feel like I'm the only one!

Gussie that must have been realy tough, and must have shaken as well as annoyed you, how are you now?
Debbie good to hear you are enjoying being back at work, don't overdo things though, take your time to adjust.
Moorcow how lovely to see you poping back in, yes time does seem to pass so quickly, how are you getting on with the Tamoxifen, it's a great drug but the flushes aren't fun are they. I pop in on the lymph site sometimes and have seen Norberte there, nice to keep an eye on what's going on with folk. I'm afraid I hate my sleeve so much that I don't wear it!
Hope everyone is keeping as well as possible, love to you all xx
Member
Posts: 105
Registered: ‎11-06-2013

Re: Are there any lesbian women out there diagnosed with bc? feel like I'm the only one!

Don't worry, I am covering up, wearing a hat and sun cream! Been out and about a bit today, anti-bac hand rub also at the ready. :-)
Member
Posts: 663
Registered: ‎01-05-2012

Re: Are there any lesbian women out there diagnosed with bc? feel like I'm the only one!

Hello again everyone, just popped on to say hello and keep the section alive...amd here you all are .
Gussie -WW I am SO sorry you had to find enough energy to challenge the husband / pregnant stuff whilst also facing another chemo cycle and while grieving.....I really do think there is a need for equality updating and when you can face it some enquiries will help others of us who go after you. I do hope you are OK with the chemo , very best of luck with it. At least after the first couple of cycles we know how its going to affect us...never got used to the red pee tho!
debbie - t - take it easy at work won't you - it took me so long to get back on my feet and i think its cos i pushed too hard at the begining maybe?
Julie D - HELLO my friend, how are you? I am about to celebrate 3 years on tamox...unbelieveable how quick it goes. I "see" Norberte on the lymphodema chat rooms - mine is managable thank goodness, but only cos I pushed and pushed for a service when it was still quite small swelling...had i done what the surgeons / oncologists wanted I would be the size of an elephant by now..
all the very best - remember to stay out of the direct sun Gussie,
Moorcow
Member
Posts: 105
Registered: ‎11-06-2013

Re: Are there any lesbian women out there diagnosed with bc? feel like I'm the only one!

9 days out from my first cycle of FEC. Doing okay today, actually! It's good to have the energy to feel like doing something other than stagger through the day.
Had an annoying lesbian-specific moment in the chemo ward. My bcc nurse and surgical team have been spot on with appropriately handling the lesbian widow. So it was a bit of a &!#¥ that somehow in the transfer to the oncology team my dead partner was turned into a husband! I had ticked "widowed" in their paper registration form with no further explanation because to be honest it hadn't occurred to me that the important details wouldn't follow me. So there I was getting the pre-chemo nurse spiel about sex and body fluids, and the onc nurse asked if I might be pregnant, and I said not without knowing it being a lesbian, ho ho ho ... to be fair that nurse handled that well too. Then she came back later and said just wanted to check, your notes say your husband just died which is obviously a mistake. She apologised profusely that someone had made such an assumption and corrected my notes. But grrrr!
I was then left sitting rigged up to the drip having had that interaction (which would have been rattling at the best of times) plus the whole dead partner conversation (how did she die, how awful for you etc) feeling absolutely terrible.
I'm going to make some discrete enquiries about who gave me a husband. Am not in the mood for a fight but whoever it was needs their equality training updating.
Member
Posts: 14
Registered: ‎28-10-2012

Re: Are there any lesbian women out there diagnosed with bc? feel like I'm the only one!

Hi gussie,
thanks for replying. Sorry I haven't been on here for a while. Busy back at work so some normality at last. Hope you are well in your journey, where are you up to at the moment?
I am now six months out of treatment and back at work, it's very tiring but just glad to focus on something different than hospitals, treatment, tests etc I feel a little human again, fingers crossed it last s for a long long time.Anyway,nbest wishes to you. Hope t o hear from you soon.
Debbie
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Community Champion
Posts: 1,557
Registered: ‎01-05-2012

Re: Are there any lesbian women out there diagnosed with bc? feel like I'm the only one!

Grrr, just posted and lost the post!
Anyway, hello all. I feel like an old hand at all this now. Was dx primary in 1999 and secondaries (bone) 2010. As Moorcow said there was not a section for gay women in those days. I have always used the main boards/forums and have never had any problems from any of the straight community. It is nice to have our own section too though and it would be good to see it more active so keep posting.
Hello and best wishes to you all - keep in touch xx
Member
Posts: 105
Registered: ‎11-06-2013

Re: Are there any lesbian women out there diagnosed with bc? feel like I'm the only one!

Belated hi, Fiona. See you in the June Jewels group. Have you started chemo yet? I'm pencilled in for Weds 26th.
Gus
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Posts: 13
Registered: ‎06-06-2013

Re: Are there any lesbian women out there diagnosed with bc? feel like I'm the only one!

Hi just saying hello too! I think I'm at the same stage as you Gus, starting chemo this month.
Really sorry to read you've had such a tough year.
Fiona x
Member
Posts: 105
Registered: ‎11-06-2013

Re: Are there any lesbian women out there diagnosed with bc? feel like I'm the only one!

Hi Debbie. Just wanted to say hello. At a much earlier point in all this than you byou hello anyway!
gus x
Member
Posts: 436
Registered: ‎21-07-2012

Re: Are there any lesbian women out there diagnosed with bc? feel like I'm the only one!

Hi Debbie,
I am so pleased that you have had some replies from the other girls, but sorry to hear that you have been feeling under the weather. Take things slowly , there is no rush, just take it nice and steady. A chest infection can be so nasty and I always need to increase my inhalers when ever I get a nasty cold. The sunshine will help us all feel better very soon.
Sending you healing thoughts to get better soon. Love Tracy xxx
Member
Posts: 14
Registered: ‎28-10-2012

Re: Are there any lesbian women out there diagnosed with bc? feel like I'm the only one!

Thank you for your response Alize and Alex J

I havent been too well so havent been on so sorry for the delay in replying.
I finished all my treatment in December 2012 and since been on the road to recovery, growing hair, eyelashes etc but the fatigue has really knocked me for six, my mind is willing but the body says otherwise which is very frustrating, I just want to be doing all the things I was doing before my diagnosis as I still feel a relatively young woman (44 at diagnosis) but my arm, tiredness gets in the way. I am hoping to return to work next month but right now it seems almost impossible to contemplate getting back to my usual self that everyone expects.
I have been with my civil partner for 12 years, we were 'civil partnershiped in 2006 and I can honestly say without her I dont think I couldve go throught the past 12 horrible months. We havent met any hostility towards us from any of the professionals involved but lots of posts/leaflets etc are about ladies with male partners and there is nothing on the Lesbian forums for women with breast cancer (supposed to be even higher statistics amongst gay women I read somewhere) and therefore it's frustratiing that nothing is in print anywhere.
Alix, when are you having your ceremony ? I really hope it goes well, ours was the best day ever, everyone said how laid back and enjoyable it was and the words we chose had many in tears, it truly was special and send my very best wishes to you both.

Please keep in touch ladies and take care,
debbie
xx
Member
Posts: 14
Registered: ‎28-10-2012

Re: Are there any lesbian women out there diagnosed with bc? feel like I'm the only one!

HI Benitsykim,

Apologies for not being on for a few days, I have the a really bad chest infection so felt really lousy.
So sorry to hear your news about your partner, I really hope that she will make good progress on that drug, Ive heard it's pretty tough in the beginning until you get used to it. Big hugs to you and your new family, having a baby is stressful at the best of times so can only send my very best wishes to you all.
please keep in touch and thank you for responding to me.
take care
debbie
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Posts: 991
Registered: ‎01-05-2012

Re: Are there any lesbian women out there diagnosed with bc? feel like I'm the only one!

Thanks Moorcow. If anyone's interested, you can read more about the report and the launch event here http://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/campaigning-volunteering/policy/breast-cancer-inequalities/lesbian-bisexual-women-breast-cancer

Member
Posts: 663
Registered: ‎01-05-2012

Re: Are there any lesbian women out there diagnosed with bc? feel like I'm the only one!

Hi there everyone - no you are not alone. I was diagnosed 3 and a bit years ago and when I was there was no "lesbians and bisexual women" part of the forum, so with a few other brave souls, particularly Norberte, we asked BCC to make the appropriate ammendments to the site. There was a bit of tricky stuff from some other members, but mainly lots of support. Norberte and i and the others have mainly moved on - my BC currently stable with tamox....
but I do pop on here sometimes to see how people are and to welcome new friends....so welcome everyone.
BCC did a report about lesbains and their BC treatment so you should be able to get that if you want it - Norberte and I did talks at their london launch of the report..and lots of the other lovely women using this part of the site came along or sent good wishes.
all the best to you
Nicola