01-04-2018 05:45 PM
01-04-2018 07:59 AM
01-04-2018 07:21 AM
31-03-2018 07:04 PM
Hi Cass, sorry you find yourself here but welcome to the forum. I had a similar diagnosis to you, stage 3 including lymph nodes. I finished all active treatment in January and am now a year post-diagnosis and feeling pretty good and very alive! If you want something to relate to here is my blog for you to read (warning: may contain humour) http://lifeafterlola.blogspot.co.uk/
Try and be kind to yourself and pamper yourself a bit to feel better. It's really tough in the beginning but it does get easier. Xxx
31-03-2018 06:15 PM
I’ve been around the shops too Michelle21...got a pair of pj’s from Bon marche...front button top with short sleeves..in sale £12. Went into m&s but no bra fitter but have ordered a couple of front fastening sports bras as I understand they are comfy and I’ve booked in for fitting next week. I’ve also had my hair cut short...easier to manage + who knows what treatment I might need.
I do hope your night out might provide a bit of distraction and you get through it ok... I guess it’ll be hard being in a crowd.
sending a big hug
31-03-2018 05:32 PM
31-03-2018 03:54 PM
I was saying to Fairy Dust that if I was a runner I’d probably keep going....
I do find it hard concentrating at times. I’ve started a journal of sorts...have a notebook I can jot things down in when I feel the need....usually at bedtime. Being on this forum helps too.
Sending a hug and good wishes for ct scan result next week.
31-03-2018 03:47 PM
Hi Fairy Dust
Youve certainly had a lot to contend with and I’m amazed you are still working.
Everything seems on standby with me although I do potter. I could say the house is in fine fettle ( lovely to see that word ) but I would be lying .... it’s not too bad as I just started this journey recently.
I’m more a walker so am starting to get back to that even if I don’t go too far at the moment. I think if I ran I might just keep on going ....
31-03-2018 01:19 PM
31-03-2018 12:54 PM
31-03-2018 09:11 AM
I’m the same, I run every morning and I'm incredibly active, I find just sitting around boring and like to be kept occupied. I felt so helpless and lacked motivation after I had my scan, but since I got my definitive results on Thursday, I gave myself a good talking to and I’m trying to go back to being as ‘normal’ as possible. I can be absolutely fine, then bang! The reality of it hits me all over again. I’m finding that writing all my thoughts and feelings down in this forum so helpful, and knowing that people know literally how I feel is somehow comforting.
I have my CT scan Wednesday and results on Friday. I feel like there’s a washing machine in my stomach spinning with dread, but once the wait is over we deal with what we face next.
Sending you you my thoughts and well wishes for your results xxxx
31-03-2018 08:53 AM
Hi fairy dust,
I did write a long post but I think I must’ve pressed cancel rather than post 🤦♀️
Im so sorry to hear about the length of time you are having to wait between appointments and your travel time. It truly is mental torture. Red tape 🤬! Glad you finally have a timeline for your surgery though.
I found my initial lump five months ago but a gp at my practice couldn’t feel anything so wouldn’t refer me (I also was told she wrote down the wrong breast in my notes 😡). Fast forward five months and another lump appears under my arm. Thankfully I saw another gp and he referred me immediately. I was angry and frustrated that this could’ve been caught earlier but I can’t dwell on that.
I think trying to find a sense sense of humour in this awful situation is hard but the small things can just make you giggle. When I received my results on Thursday, I told my husband I felt like jumping out of the consultation room window, he laughed and told me I’d not get far, we’re on the ground floor!
All my thoughts, hopes and wishes are firmly concentrated on us all getting through this experience and living a full healthy, happy life xxx
31-03-2018 08:17 AM
Hi fairy dust,
I completely agree, I thought I was healthy, doing everything right, eating well, running, and never envisaged cancer. I went 5 months ago to my gp with a lump and she couldn’t feel anything and wouldn’t refer me. It was only two weeks ago I felt another lump under my arm and another gp in the practice referred me straight away. I was so angry that this could have been caught earlier but there’s nothing I can do about that now.
I’m so sorry that your travel to consultations and delays are prolonging things, it must be mentally agonising, I know the waiting around and feeling helpless is torture.
My my life is now in someone else’s control which is hard to accept, but I’m trying to trust in the process. But yes, keeping sense of humour is helping, when receiving my biopsy results on Thursday I said to my other half that I feel like just throwing myself out of the consulting room window, he looked shocked but then calmly told me I’d not go far, we’re on the ground floor!
My thoughts, hopes and well wishes also are concentrated on a healthy, full life for all going through this xxx
31-03-2018 07:58 AM - edited 31-03-2018 08:00 AM
Oh and meant to say (as if I hadn't said enough). I've been like you, Feenix, with the housework. I've carried on working, though this is becoming harder as the time passes and my brain seems to be wearing out!
Now I have an ironing pile mountaineers would be eyeing up with enthusiasm and a house which needs a very good fettle. Well I do need something to keep me busy to the end of next month!!
31-03-2018 07:47 AM
Sorry for butting in, but I seem to be doing it a lot on other threads at the moment, as I'm in limbo waiting for my op on 29th April.
Yes, Cass, I think the waiting is the cruellest and scariest part of all this and don't we get a lot of stages where we are waiting for the next bit. Luckily for most if us, I think, we feel healthy when we are diagnosed, so it's the mental marathon we run which takes it's toll. Mines been a long wait. My mammogram was at the end of last October, my diagnosis was 21st December. The area I'm in didn't do the reconstruction I wanted (DIEP flap following double MX), I had to find the surgeon who would do it myself but couldn't get the MX done at the same hospital, so that delayed things whilst my amazing lady plastic surgeon found me an equally amazing lady breast surgeon and now I travel 2 hours for consultations ect. The ops being done in a private hospital, but in an NHS slot because the surgeons come from different hospitals!!! Red tape and lack of information from my original area means it will be 6 months since they found the 4 areas on the mammogram when the cancer (that's progress, I usually call it It) finally comes out of me.
I've had a supermarket meltdown! Mind went into overload whilst reading the packaging to find out what was in something and I just had to get out and left a full trolley in the middle of the aislwe
I did have a really good laugh whilst on the phone with a friend though, as we discussed the weight loss benefits of a double mastectomy! I promptly fetch my weighing scales out yo try to work out how much I would lose (about 5 or 6 pounds if you were wondering). I then googled it and there is actually a chart where you enter your measurements and it tells you how much they weigh! Someone on the site wondered if there was a chart for men's bits! My friend commented, "About 2ounces". I may be giving my age away with the imperial measurements!!
Sorry again for butting in. Love and hugs to you all and my hopes and wishes that we all come through this as healthily, whole, sane and still with our sense of humour intact as possible. xxx
30-03-2018 10:03 PM
Youre doing better than me with routines esp housework...I must get hoover out sometime soon !!! Sometimes don’t feel like doing anything which is entirely opposite to the hyper me before my initial appointment for check/biopsies. I only hope I’ve lost the look of a rabbit caught in the headlights. I’m trying to switch off a bit and conserve energy for whatever is to come.... there’s no escape ... yikes.
I’ll know soon enough about scan results... hope you do too but it’s not easy waiting.
30-03-2018 08:22 PM