12-01-2017 08:46 AM
Good morning ladies. Yesterday I dusted off my tough pants - I think even a few moths flew out when I picked them up!! Today they are firmly in place and I'm ready to have a better day. I need to stop dripping about and you have inspired me (as usual) to get a hold of myself.
I have tried to catch up with posts and see there has been a lot going on. This thread has always been a place where I feel I can say it how it really is, have a good old rant but also express any positives and always feel so glad for anyone else's better news (even if I'm going through a bad bit myself). This is all so scary for all of us, with so much uncertainty. I hate to think of anyone feeling they have to leave the thread unless they want to as we're such a warm, tolerant bunch and have to feel free to say what we need to. Having been a bit out of it over the last couple of weeks, it is the first place I've come back to on the site - and it feels like coming back into a nice cosy kitchen with a big cup of tea when it is sooo cold outside!!
completely relate to the OH issues - it's like oh are you still talking about your BC I thought we'd done that!! To be fair to mine (he has been brilliant) it is only some of the time but I do sometimes feel that everyone is just really bored of it now! Susan I laughed out loud at your bit about him then talking about his ailments!! I do get a bit irritated by people's need to constantly witter on about their trivial complaints!! I'm sure they are very annoying for them but really??!!!
good luck to anyone facing particular challenges today, including anyone going to work. I have given in and got signed off now until after my op and feel a million times better for the decision. Meeting HR director today ( who is also a good friend) and that feels close enough to work at the moment.
no snow here yet - would love a bit at the weekend but not enough to interfere with anyone's treatment or trips to hospital xxx
12-01-2017 08:21 AM
Hi, Mary. As Strudel said it's unimaginable and must feel like you got a pretty bum deal. But really glad that it's good news.
Zena, hope you stay around. I completely understand how you feel, but don't risk losing the good things from being here, because there are some tough moments too. When I found I was ER-/HER+, I was a bit jealous of others. (The bog-standards (BS) as I believe they are now officially known!). But it's not a zero sum game. What I mean by that is, someone else getting a good outcome doesn't mean you or I are more likely to get a bad one. You could even think about it this way. the more people have BS cancer, with no node involvment, the more resources are left for those of us who don't! Ok, I agree that's a weird way of thinking, and I'm slightly joking, but it might help.
Silver, that actually made me laugh, although it's also really annoying. Yup, competitive aches and worse. Like an illness Top Trumps x
Strudel, that's pretty crap tbh. Initialky I'd imagined that OHs would fall into one of two categories. Roughly supportive or rubbish. Which is clearly over-simplistic and going to miss lots of up and downs as well as different starting points. My advice would be to address it head on, but in a fairly light way. If you ignore it, then it's accepting it. But calling him on it might lead to resentment. Maybe at some point say, "It's so all encompassing at the moment, I'm even boring myself at points." He probably isn't aware that he's doing it. I'm going to designate a daily Cancer free hour as a thing in our house. No discussion of treatment, the future, fears etc. And then see if I can go for Cancer free Saturdays. Not that I'll actually be cancer free, obviously, but more as a way of getting both of us some headspace. By definition the rest of the time is not cancer free, so it's not really cramping time for my worries/fears/ need to talk. It may not work for everyone, but it feels like I need to do something. This is a long haul for me (& many others) so I don't feel I can risk drifting through.
Probably should say I'm not qualified to give relationship advice at all. But I am older (55) and I got married at 17. So I've had a long stretch of working at it. We did also lay down one agreed ground rule in our house. No matter what is the current popular mantra; what celebrities say; or what seems selfish, this is not worse for him than for me. If it turns out well, I have this in my life for ever. If it turns out badly, he get some to see the currently not born grandchildren grow up. It is worse for me. So when he gets bored, or sad, or resentful, he has to remember that.
So, I cut my hair yesterday and am thinking of changing career and becoming a hairdresser. As long as I can find enough clients who want short choppy bobs, it'll work fine. Seriously I think I may have wasted thousands of pounds over 40 years, it looks pretty good. Though I think I'll be clipping it on Sunday, so there's a short window of conceit.
Have a a good day everyone. No idea what people are doing, sorry. But good luck for treatments/results everything else.
11-01-2017 11:24 PM
11-01-2017 11:20 PM
11-01-2017 11:16 PM
11-01-2017 11:07 PM
11-01-2017 10:49 PM
Sounds good news about your ms Marydan. My friend had a relapse last October, having been stable for many years, and that was down to work stress. She is improving again, but waiting for MRI results.
Zena - you don't need to go anywhere. We're a diverse bunch of ladies all with different diagnoses and at different stages, but we all support each other through shared experience of this horrible disease.
Strudel - well done on working today. I popped in to school on Monday for a couple of hours and still not recovered. Don't know what's up this week but I feel really unsettled and anxious - keep worrying that my pathology results are wrong etc, and I think I'm driving my oh mad - he has been so patient through all of this but he told me tonight that I just need to get on with it and move forward - there, my eyes are leaking again at what I perceived as his total lack of understanding. I need to borrow the superhero pants - who's got them at the moment?
11-01-2017 10:44 PM
11-01-2017 10:35 PM
11-01-2017 10:14 PM
11-01-2017 09:31 PM
Hello to all my lovely friends,
Well have my brain and spinal mri results back for the multiple sclerosis.
The brain scan shows no new lesions/progression which is great but there are a couple of lesions on the spine (thoracic and cervical area of spine) which the neuro says is in keeping with the symptoms I had during the scary b.c journey. My first ever relapse.
The neurologist did say as I have never has a spinal mri before there is nothing to compare it with therefore they could be old ones.
My way of dealing with it is to tell myself they have been there for ages and its onwards and upwards.
The fact I recovered so well from the relapse and the fact I cannot take any meds for the m.s due to the tamoxifen (oncologist had said) there really is no point in worrying now.
My lower back still aches but as I had the full spine mri I am putting it to the back of my head as best I can. Lots and Lots of love to you all, you are all truly an inspiration . Mary xxxx
11-01-2017 09:16 PM
11-01-2017 09:08 PM - edited 11-01-2017 09:09 PM
I always love reading your posts.
My seroma has come back and I now look like I have had a breast reconstruction again - but the hospital said that they would only be able to drain it another 2 times, so I'm going to leave it and let it absorb back into my body, it's uncomfortable but bearable.
My other boob hurts right near the nipple, I'm not sure if it is period pains, as I was told to come off my pill way back in November, but I haven't had a period, but I'm getting really bad stomach pains.
I'm on my third day back to work - it's so lovely, just carrying on pretending nothing has happened. I work with robotic demolition machines and love going into work. I'm left to do what I want, when I want, just as long as everything gets done, everyone is happy.
My new hat for my bald head arrived today and the onicolife drops for my nails - still doesn't seem real though.
Hugs to you and everyone else.
11-01-2017 08:24 PM
11-01-2017 06:26 PM - edited 11-01-2017 06:29 PM
Helena - I hope your rads went o.k. today - how many left now? I know they finish on my birthday, so a double celebration 😀😀😀
Strudel & Emily - what are your treatment plans - I don't seem to be able to keep up with all comments, have you both escaped chemo?