Member
Posts: 246
Registered: ‎23-12-2016

Re: How's everyone doing.?

Morning everyone,

 

Hi, Mary. As Strudel said it's unimaginable and must feel like you got a pretty bum deal. But really glad that it's good news.

 

Zena, hope you stay around. I completely understand how you feel, but don't risk losing the good things from being here, because there are some tough moments too. When I found I was ER-/HER+, I was a bit jealous of others. (The bog-standards (BS) as I believe they are now officially known!). But it's not a zero sum game. What I mean by that is, someone else getting a good outcome doesn't mean you or I are more likely to get a bad one. You could even think about it this way. the more people have BS cancer, with no node involvment, the more resources are left for those of us who don't! Ok, I agree that's a weird way of thinking, and I'm slightly joking, but it might help.

 

Silver, that actually made me laugh, although it's also really annoying. Yup, competitive aches and worse. Like an illness Top Trumps x

 

Strudel, that's pretty crap tbh. Initialky I'd imagined that OHs would fall into one of two categories. Roughly supportive or rubbish.  Which is clearly over-simplistic and going to miss lots of up and downs as well as different starting points. My advice would be to address it head on, but in a fairly light way. If you ignore it, then it's accepting it. But calling him on it might lead to resentment. Maybe at some point say, "It's so all encompassing at the moment, I'm even boring myself at points."  He probably isn't aware that he's doing it. I'm going to designate a daily Cancer free hour as a thing in our house. No discussion of treatment, the future, fears etc.  And then see if I can go for Cancer free Saturdays. Not that I'll actually be cancer free, obviously, but more as a way of getting both of us some headspace. By definition the rest of the time is not cancer free, so it's not really cramping time for my worries/fears/ need to talk. It may not work for everyone, but it feels like I need to do something. This is a long haul for me (& many others) so I don't feel I can risk drifting through. 

 

Probably should say I'm not qualified to give relationship advice at all. But I am older (55) and I got married at 17. So I've had a long stretch of working at it. We did also lay down one agreed ground rule in our house. No matter what is the current popular mantra; what celebrities say; or what seems selfish, this is not worse for him than for me. If it turns out well, I have this in my life for ever. If it turns out badly, he get some to see the currently not born grandchildren grow up. It is worse for me. So when he gets bored, or sad, or resentful, he has to remember that. 

 

So, I cut my hair yesterday and am thinking of changing career and becoming a hairdresser. As long as I can find enough clients who want short choppy bobs, it'll work fine. Seriously I think I may have wasted thousands of pounds over 40 years, it looks pretty good. Though I think I'll be clipping it on Sunday, so there's a short window of conceit. 

 

Have a a good day everyone. No idea what people are doing, sorry. But good luck for treatments/results everything else.

 

Ali x

 

 

Member
Posts: 620
Registered: ‎25-11-2016

Re: How's everyone doing.?

Bloody hell Strudel - my pants are elasticated & there's plenty of room for you and Jane.

I don't mention my aches, earache, sore nipple, seroma, **bleep** great big mx scar - cause he starts telling me about his illnesses. 😂😂
Member
Posts: 388
Registered: ‎04-11-2016

Re: How's everyone doing.?

Good point Helena, may well have been the wrong word. Anyway, hope Zena that you'll stick around X

Marydan - yay! I hope you continue to improve. I can't even imagine what it's like for you to have both BC and MS. You are clearly made of some sort of coping steel.

Jane, I don't have the pants. For the first time yesterday I got the impression that my OH is bored of me having cancer and being afraid of it. He said one thing in front of the onc that really upset me. We were talking about the side effects of tamoxifen, specifically a dry cough. I said "I have one of those already" (and yes my inner demons are worried about it) and the OH rolled his eyes and said words to the effect that I have everything going now. In front a man he could tell I really didn't like. Er, no. I have had a persistent back pain for nearly a year and a dry cough since Christmas. I really felt angry and have done again today when he audibly groaned when I said I was worried about the bone scan they've ordered. He has been amazing up till now. I guess that two months is enough. So Jane, an enormous hug as apparently we can only be frightened for two months x

Member
Posts: 620
Registered: ‎25-11-2016

Re: How's everyone doing.?

Marydan - good news for you today.

Zena - There's no need for you to leave, as Strudel & the other ladies have said, we celebrate everyone's good news. I had an enlarged lymph node which they thought had cancer in, but I was so happy when the other ladies were clear. Unbelievably, mine was clear, but as you know having lymph node involvement or not does not guarantee it hasn't spread through the vascular system as my consultant told me 5 mins after telling me my node was clear. So had to wait another scary week for my ct scan results.

It's a horrible time for everyone- I'm starting to get nervous about my chemo as it get nearer.
Member
Posts: 620
Registered: ‎25-11-2016

Re: How's everyone doing.?

Jane - mine are super kryptonite for you tonight. Big hugs & stop reading that report.

Community Champion
Posts: 1,890
Registered: ‎17-03-2016

Re: How's everyone doing.?

...oh, & so glad about your results, Marydan x
Community Champion
Posts: 1,890
Registered: ‎17-03-2016

Re: How's everyone doing.?

hi zena,
It's a bitch going through this & anyone of us can rant if needed - its an entitlement on here!
No matter what we're going through, we all have phases of strong feelings when going through this & can need to rant as well as having broad shoulders for others at other times. It's not awkward at all.
hugs
ann x
Member
Posts: 294
Registered: ‎29-10-2016

Re: How's everyone doing.?

Sounds good news about your ms Marydan.  My friend had a relapse last October, having been stable for many years, and that was down to work stress.  She is improving again, but waiting for MRI results.

 

Zena - you don't need to go anywhere. We're a diverse bunch of ladies all with different diagnoses and at different stages, but we all support each other through shared experience of this horrible disease.

 

Strudel - well done on working today. I popped in to school on Monday for a couple of hours and still not recovered.  Don't know what's up this week but I feel really unsettled and anxious - keep worrying that my pathology results are wrong etc, and I think I'm driving my oh mad - he has been so patient through all of this but he told me tonight that I just need to get on with it and move forward - there, my eyes are leaking again at what I perceived as his total lack of understanding.  I need to borrow the superhero pants - who's got them at the moment?

jane x

 

Member
Posts: 388
Registered: ‎04-11-2016

Re: How's everyone doing.?

Oh Zena,

You didn't offend me and there's certainly no need to leave this thread if you don't want to. We're all frightened, whatever stage we're at, as no nodes is no guarantee of anything as my delightful (grr) onc kept telling me.

I was basically only pointing out that we can't be expected not to celebrate good news in case it upsets someone else, it's not really reasonable I don't think because we're all individuals with different situations; we all need support and to share our victories if we get some.

X
Member
Posts: 228
Registered: ‎22-12-2016

Re: How's everyone doing.?

Zena, don't feel bad or apologise for being scared. It's perfectly understandable. I have 5 daughters and lymph nodes involved too. I completely understand. I'm sure that nobody was offended and there isn't any reason for you to leave (unless you want to).

Big hugs.

Jo xx
Member
Posts: 347
Registered: ‎31-12-2016

Re: How's everyone doing.?

Anyway I leave this thread it's ok . I don't want to make anyone feel awkward.. thank you ladies for all the support xx
Member
Posts: 347
Registered: ‎31-12-2016

Re: How's everyone doing.?

Dear strudel
I didn't mean to offend you or anyone .. it's just hard hearing about nodes that's all, as I know how serious it is.
I had no idea that there was a small group of you that started on here together with similar diagnosis's.
I thought it was a thread for newly diagnosed and it said how's everybody doing.
Just wanted to rant as I'm scared I have 3 kids under 10 and my mum died when I was 7 .. it's not a unique story I know . But worried I will leave them like I was left ..
apologies to anyone I upset and in no way meant no one should celebrate good results.
Zena xx
Member
Posts: 228
Registered: ‎22-12-2016

Re: How's everyone doing.?

Mary, great news about your brain scan. I think you have the right attitude about your spinal scans. Onwards and upwards xxx
Member
Posts: 205
Registered: ‎06-08-2016

Re: How's everyone doing.?

Hello to all my lovely friends,

Well have my brain and spinal mri results back for the multiple sclerosis.

The brain scan shows no new lesions/progression which is great but there are a couple of lesions on the spine (thoracic and cervical area of spine) which the neuro says is in keeping with the symptoms I had during the scary b.c journey. My first ever relapse.

The neurologist did say as I have never has a spinal mri before there is nothing to compare it with therefore they could be old ones.

My way of dealing with it is to tell myself they have been there for ages and its onwards and upwards.

The fact I recovered so well from the relapse and the fact I cannot take any meds for the m.s due to the tamoxifen (oncologist had said) there really is no point in worrying now.

My lower back still aches but as I had the full spine mri I am putting it to the back of my head as best I can. Lots and Lots of love to you all, you are all truly an inspiration . Mary xxxx

Member
Posts: 620
Registered: ‎25-11-2016

Re: How's everyone doing.?

Hahaha - LMFAO Strudel - very good 😂😂😂😂😂

Member
Posts: 388
Registered: ‎04-11-2016

Re: How's everyone doing.?

Susan,

My seroma stopped returning after the third draining so worth bearing in mind?

I also work with robotic demolition machines; mind you at my place of work we just call them senior managers. 😉
Highlighted
Member
Posts: 620
Registered: ‎25-11-2016

Re: How's everyone doing.?

[ Edited ]

Hi Strudel,

 

I always love reading your posts.

 

My seroma has come back and I now look like I have had a breast reconstruction again - but the hospital said that they would only be able to drain it another 2 times, so I'm going to leave it and let it absorb back into my body, it's uncomfortable but bearable.

 

My other boob hurts right near the nipple, I'm not sure if it is period pains, as I was told to come off my pill way back in November, but I haven't had a period, but I'm getting really bad stomach pains.  

 

I'm on my third day back to work - it's so lovely, just carrying on pretending nothing has happened.  I work with robotic demolition machines and love going into work. I'm left to do what I want, when I want, just as long as everything gets done, everyone is happy.

 

My new hat for my bald head arrived today and the onicolife drops for my nails - still doesn't seem real though.

 

Hugs to you and everyone else.

 

Susan

Member
Posts: 388
Registered: ‎04-11-2016

Re: How's everyone doing.?

Evening all,

Firstly I hope it snows in Ali's garden so that she can have a snowman. Other than that I'm with Jane, no snow please! I would be so screwed getting to the hospital from my shack in the sticks.

Silver, my lovely - has that seroma come back? To answer your question it's ongoing for me. Met the oncologist (well two actually) yesterday. Their plan for me is just radiotherapy and tamoxifen. We are in heated discussion about their refusal to order the oncotype test to find out whether I would actually benefit from chemo. It's ongoing but my lovely BCN has said if it is a firm refusal she will see what she can do - I suspect she means to refer it to the surgeon.

I went back to work today. That involved walking out of my front door, 10 feet across my yard to my home office but yay me anyway! I'm knackered now to be honest, by the work not the ten yard walk!

The oncologist phoned this afternoon. They're ordering a bone scan for this pesky back ache of mine. Yikes.

Lexxy, I'm currently interested in all things oncotype and would be really interested in your score if you're prepared to share it. Feel free to tell me to shove off and mind my own business, I shan't be offended! I suspect that thick skin of mine delayed my diagnosis 😚

Zena, hope you're ok. I do understand that it must be hard to read the no node thing but I'm going to be honest, I'm going to continue to celebrate the good results of anyone on here no matter what they are. When this thread first started it was a group of us with really similar stats and a couple, like Silver (hope you don't mind Silver!) whose stats were different but we were all node negative. More and more people started posting including, for the first time, people who were node positive. It was only then that I told my real life friend, Charlotherapy, about this thread because she's stage 3 as she's said and until the thread expanded I knew there was no one else here in her position so I am conscious of what you're saying. This thread now caters for everyone and node negative is something to celebrate for those to whom it applies but I completely understand if you feel you can't respond to those posts and nobody would expect you to, we're not superhuman and we're all just muddling through as best we can. I honestly do understand to a degree because (letting out my not-so-inner bitch here) I feel that way about straight DCIS. I just never respond to those posts. Helena hugs are the best so enjoy it 😘

Speaking of Helena; Helena I need to pick your brain on rads. How's it been, side-effects? What are you doing with creams etc?
Member
Posts: 620
Registered: ‎25-11-2016

Re: How's everyone doing.?

[ Edited ]

Helena - I hope your rads went o.k. today - how many left now? I know they finish on my birthday, so a double celebration 😀😀😀

 

Strudel & Emily - what are your treatment plans - I don't seem to be able to keep up with all comments, have you both escaped chemo?

 

 

Member
Posts: 347
Registered: ‎31-12-2016

Re: How's everyone doing.?

And janes hugs too xxx