18-02-2014 02:28 PM
What can I say but thank you all for your very helpful replies. Took the plunge and told eldest son when he phoned as does regularly ( having seen surgeon after MRI). He said wd give his brother who is abroad a nudge to ring me ( somehow we have developed a pattern of his ringing us and I thought alarm bells wd go off if I suddenly rang him). The second conversaion was harder as he sounded so happy and Was just getting into Munich station!!!! Admit to putting a more positive slant on it to both of them than I felt.
I asked both if they had any questions - only one came up - and yes it was "How long had I known?"
One of you made the very good point that Cancer isn't such a scary word to the younger gerneration as it is to us.
I would really have liked to reply and thank you all individually but had a hand op on Monday which makes typing tricky.................... my very best wishes.
06-02-2014 08:40 PM - edited 06-02-2014 08:45 PM
Can only speak from personal experience...
My mother-in-law did not tell us of her breast cancer diagnosis. My husband (who was in his 30s at the time) felt very hurt and patronised. We guessed anyway after a while because she kept saying "It's not cancer" and she was a rubbish liar!
A friend also chose not to tell her adult children about her own breast cancer diagnosis for many months and I know they both felt very let down when she did eventually tell them and they realised how long she had known.
Some members of my own family tend to keep secrets and tell "white lies" especially about health stuff so as "not to cause worry" and I've ended up doubting everything these people say and filling in the blanks with stuff that's probably inaccurate.
Personally my own diagnosis was clear right from the start so I told all family and friends right away and looking back, wouldn't have done it any differently.
06-02-2014 02:20 PM
05-02-2014 04:55 PM - edited 05-02-2014 04:56 PM
05-02-2014 08:59 AM
05-02-2014 08:51 AM
05-02-2014 01:51 AM
Not only am I like so many on here very frightened of what lies ahead. To be specific in my case treating Invasive lobular Her2 neg, and won't know until I have had RMI scan. This is needed as despite 2 sets of different mammograms and an ultra scan the size of affected tissue cannot be determined. Seems huge to me but then it would wouldn't it. I did understand from my one appointment so far with the surgeon that a masectomy was fairly definate but wether that will be after hormone drugs have had a go at shrinking it or straight away I don't know. (Really don't envy them having to give peeps such bad news).
I have 2 sons who now both live and work far away. I have regular 'phone and email contact with both and I don't know how to/if I should tell them. Should I wait until I know exactly what I am dealing with, which sounds rather like saying how long a piece of string is: ? Should I tell them now by phone ? My instinct is not to worry then, but then I know if it was someone I loved in this position I would be upset if I wasn't told.
I would like to take this opportunity of saying what a supportive group of women you are, and that I very much hope once I have got to grips with this situation I can be as supportive to newbies.
Thank you for reading this,