28-10-2018 05:06 PM - edited 28-10-2018 05:14 PM
Hiyer ladies; particularly Serenity and Ali40 and Stirts,
Can I clarify - People say its 'doable' to encourage you only. Not sure who said it, neither am I going to read back and check, and I'm sorry if you got the impression it sounded like it was making your fear and pain feel less valid, but it would have come from a kind and thoughtful place and the intention would never be to make you feel upset.
Its hard sometimes, when you don't know someone on-line, to find the right words- as everyone has individual needs and some things 'trigger' people, whilst those same things help other people. I think the 'doable' might have made me a bit upset actually, when I was at your phase of diagnosis and treatment, as it honestly felt quite impossible at the early stages and as if some people thought it was easy, whereas it can be extraordinarily hard. However, just as those of you having treatment now are all individuals with different responses, those of us who had treatment before you have a vast array of personal perspectives. As Ann said, we aren't mental health professionals, just people like you who have 'been there'. There certainly are some treatment plans which are much longer and much harder to work through, mine was finished many months before some people diagnosed at the same time, and was deemed a fairly 'straightforward' one.
However...Serenity.....you will 'do it'. Possibly it may be slowly bit by bit crying (as mine felt to be lol) that you get the treatment 'done', but you will do it and you will come out the other side. I promise. The same applies to everybody here - take courage from the people who have gone before you - you will inch through this and it will become the past. We are here and happy to listen and help if you need us. x
28-10-2018 01:39 PM
28-10-2018 01:07 PM
I read through the threads last night and sobbed through half a box of tissues at 2am. Being told earlier in the thread that my treatment plan didn’t sound too bad and was doable was not at all helpful. I don’t feel any of this is doable at times. I do try to make it doable but I know that after the surgery this weeek the pathology results and hormone findings may well alter my ttreatment plan.
28-10-2018 12:35 PM - edited 28-10-2018 12:37 PM
Yes ..I feel the same...just wish I could sleep and wake up after it's all over..and life feels normal again. I am the same today ...in fact just thinking about you and me and what we're going through is making me want to start crying again ...never knew I had so much tears in me ! You are not alone ...
28-10-2018 11:10 AM
28-10-2018 10:20 AM
28-10-2018 09:52 AM
I seem to be in a constant state of anxiety too. At the moment, It seems to be constantly waiting for more results and just worrying all the time that it is going to be the worst. I'm sure oce we know everything and what the treatment is after the op ..the anxiety should lessen and we will start to feel ..lets get this done and finished ! ...that's what I'm hoping for anyway .
28-10-2018 09:25 AM
25-10-2018 04:47 PM
I know how you feel Serenity.. I was given my results on the 18 October (my 43rd wedding anniversary) and I have been having good and bad days all last week. Now have my operation planned for 9 November..can't wait to get this thing cut out off me. A bit down today ..as I was told that it is hormonal and Have to wait for HER2 result which may mean chemotherapy ..when I was thinking I would only need op and radiotherapy. Hoping that it's negative for HER2.
24-10-2018 02:52 PM
Oh darling dont worry about that, it is the pits this because our emotions are all over the place. I remember when I was in Aldi after I had been diagnosed, I thought I would treat myself to a bunch of flowers and promptly burst into tears, something I had never ever done before. This lovely lady came over put her arm around me and asked what was the matter, when I told her she told me she was going for her 5 year apt following ovarian cancer surgery and knew exactly how I felt.
That is the beauty of this forum, we know what you are going through and will help you to get through this my dear.You are allowed to cry, bawl get angry whatever it takes to get you through this, we also have a laugh and i hope this will make you do so, here are a pair of our virtual tough pants, they have big pockets so that we can all climb in to support you whenever you need us. They are usually white bloomers but as it is Strictly season we have the sparkly ones on show.
Sending you lots of gentle hugs. When you are ready rebook that apt with M&S they have some fantastic bras and this is just a blip
24-10-2018 02:42 PM
Thanks lady bowler that does help.
but I now feel even more pathetic. Went to M&S with husband and feeling quite positive today I wanted to buy a non wired post surgery support bra. Staff suggested a fitting and I arrange to come back in half hour. Went back but was told one staff member had not turned in and one was late back from break. I waited ten minutes started to cry and left in floods of tears. I am such a strong person normally and feel really silly now
24-10-2018 10:50 AM
I am the same as ann, diagnosed as a result of routine mammo, I did not even have a lump, wle, snb, radiotherapy and now on hormone blocking tablets for 10 years. I too am 2 years post surgery and life has got back to normal.
This is the worst time but once your treatment has started things will move fast and you will soon be the other side of it all.
You are not pathetic, this is a big shock and you need to get your head around it all and that takes time set yourself small milestones that are achieveable and that will help you along the way,. Keep coming in here and we will get you through it, ask any questions you want there will always be someone on here who will be able to help.
Sending you hugs
24-10-2018 10:50 AM - edited 24-10-2018 10:51 AM
Remember to hang onto this fact - this too will pass. I didn't think so at the time, in March 16, and would have done anything to make it disappear (head in sand stuff). Curling into a ball and pretending nothing was happening, or having a magic wand waved to make it vanish was a desperate need I felt. I even argued with my surgeon that they could be the wrong persons' results! lol My surgeon said to me - there are some women diagnosed who do nothing after hearing the news. She continued - 'Treatment is an option, a choice, and some choose not to, but we know how that one ends'. You are the brave ones, facing your fears and choosing to have treatment, so you can regain control over your future.
I wish you the absolute best over the next few weeks. Its the toughest thing ever, but you will come out the other side. x
24-10-2018 10:19 AM
Hi I have also just been diagnosed with the same and my op in next Monday. I just want to run away from all this. I do not want to be ill, I dont want surgery or any related treatments but we have to deal with it. I dont think my psychi is set up to cope with this as I feel so bad and not sure how I am going to manage. Mine too is provisional grade 2 but I have to have a batwing mammoplasty on Monday and then wait to see if there is lymph node involvement. Looks like we will be going through this journey at the same time ...
24-10-2018 08:25 AM - edited 25-10-2018 04:03 PM
Sorry to hear about your diagnosis. The TPM classification is a scoring system Ito identify grade of cancer cells as far as I know. Not to be confused with the TNM classification used to identify the stage of cancer.
Chick 🐣 X
24-10-2018 08:21 AM
24-10-2018 07:20 AM - edited 24-10-2018 07:21 AM
We completely understand the feeling of not wanting to do any of this, I was furious at having to deal with it! But as with everything that life throws at us we just have to go with it.
If your treatment is as straight forward as they have suggested then it really isn't so bad, of course none of it is a walk in the park but a lumpectomy followed by radiotheraphy is very doable and there is nothing involved that will make you feel really physically ill. I think I started my Rads 6 weeks post op.
The usual wait for pathology results post op is 2 weeks, things can Change from what you have been told so far but often they don't and treatment will be as they has suggested.
all the best Xx Jo