Hi Lillyspy, sorry you find yourself here. Do have a chat if there are any concerns we can help you with. Here's my story which may be of some comfort and it takes you through a virtual journey with lots of suggestions and useful info. lifeafterlola.com xx
Hi jojoswift, Sorry you find yourself here in the club none of us wanted to join. It's understandable that you don't know where to start. The news of breast cancer is quite a bombshell to get your head around so all emotions are completely normal. You just have to work through them all; denial, detachment, meltdowns..... I had a mastectomy last November and I'm awaiting reconstruction. Having a mastectomy is a really horrible feeling. I felt completely traumatised. It feels like a big kick in your feminity but having cancer is worse and that is the thing which has to go. Everyone copes differently and the decision whether to have recon or not depends on how you feel. It makes you question "what makes you identify as being a woman?" and everyone feels different about this. There is no right or wrong answer but there is 'what is right for you?'. You just have to give yourself time to heal mentally as well as physically. Here's my blog which has my story as well of lots of suggestions which you may find helpful: lifeafterlola.com
Sending hugs xx
I had a mastectomy on 31st October. I am not sure if you are having a reconstruction ( immediate or delayed) or no reconstruction. I couldn't have immediate reconstruction as I needed radiotherapy ( which I am nearly finished). I was completely traumatised at the thought of losing my breast. I posted on this forum, and lots of the lovely ladies gave me advice. Firstly, if you are going to have a reconstruction, remember it's temporary. Get on to the ' knitted knockers' website. They are a charity and if you email with your cupsize they will send you , completely free, these fabulous knitted prostheses- one everyday one and an ' aqua knocker' for swimming. They even have a knitted nipple, so , with clothes on, no-one can tell.The silicone prosthesis that is provided six weeks post-op is even better, and is fitted to match the other breast. It really is incredible.
Initially, after the mastectomy, I thought I would never be able to look at the scar. However, when I went to remove the dressing, I braced myself to look, and it actually wasn't as bad as I feared. It's worse anticipating the loss, but somehow, when it's gone, it;'s gone, and you can have it reconstructed should you wish.
Also, I reminded myself that it was the removal of a diseased part of my body, and this was going to save my life. This helped in coming to terms with it.
Having said all this, I completely empathise with your feelings now, and will be thinking of you
First of all, welcome & glad you found us.
The feelings you describe are quite usual as getting a diagnosis is such a shock, but the important thing now is, that it will be dealt with.
It is a rollercoaster & your feelings will be all over the place in coming to terms with it all, at this stage.
This stage does pass however & it does settle down when the treatment plan is finalised.
Do look at the 'going through treatment' parrt of the forum & do join your monthly chemo thread where you will be able to chat & get support from others where you are now, as well as further down the line.
I didn't have a mastectomy, but the other ladies will be along shortly to share their experiences.
Do come & chat or vent whenever you need to.