24-10-2018 09:49 PM
23-10-2018 11:19 PM
Rosie, everything you are feeling is completely normal given your recent diagnosis. It really is a lot for your brain to process and you run through so many scenrios in your head that you literally wear yourself out. These thoughts start to make you physically ill with chest pains and heart racing. It really is an ugly journey in the beginning but I promise it does get easier as thing settle into place. I didnt feel I could relate to anyone any more other than others going through the same. Your world has suddenly changed. I've been on Tamoxifen for almost a year now and I am doing really well on it. I eat a whole grain plant based diet and exercise regularly and I take Loratadine and Glucosamine Sulphate and they seem to keep the aches and pains in check. If I sit for prolonged period my hips and pelvis stiffen so I make sure I get up and walk around regularly. I would rather not have to take this medication but I am still able to have a normal life. I hope you get a bit more sleep tonight. I was just like you to begin with and after several sleepless nights I slept well from total exhaustion! Sending hugs. xxx
22-10-2018 01:44 PM
22-10-2018 12:20 PM
22-10-2018 08:53 AM
22-10-2018 07:29 AM
This stage is rotten Rosie but I hope I can reassure you it's also perfectly normal.
Firstly the aches and pains you describe are all fed by the anxiety monster, I hurt everywhere and couldn't see how it could be anything other than the cancer having spread, it wasn't of course and when the anxiety began to ease so did the aches and pains.
Sleep became impossible, I would crash out for a few hours thanks to a couple of glasses of wine then wake in a state of panic and spend the rest of the night shaking and pacing the house, must have driven my poor husband mad!
Your body is on high alert at the moment and trying to make sense of what's going on, we need answers and reassurance but no one can give us that 100% so it sends you in to a tail spin, I describe that time as the most brutal thing I have ever been through, I was lucky and only needed Radiotherapy so physically I recovered quickly but the emotional side was another story , I'm a strong women but it broke me and I was a wreck for months.
Our bodies can't cope with being in that state for too long and your fight and positivity will begin to return, I began to feel more relaxed once I had results back after my lumpectomy and I knew what and when I would be doing treatment wise.
I was 46 when I was diagnosed, my mum had died from breast cancer 12 years before so I was convinced that was the way I was heading too, it was a really dark time and I've never felt so low not even when I lost my mum, I now have so much more understanding about breast cancer that I know those weeks spent in so much fear and panic were for nothing as none of my worst fear were ever realised.
I apprecate every day now and make the absolute most of the things that have happened since my diagnosis, my children have married, my first grandchild has arrived, I don't spend my days worrying, I enjoy life and get on with living, you will get to this stage I assure you Xx Jo
22-10-2018 04:45 AM
22-10-2018 02:33 AM
22-10-2018 02:05 AM
21-10-2018 10:54 PM
Sorry, forgot to add that my mum had breast cancer way back in the 80s and is now a wonderful 82 years young, so, yes there are people who live a full life span and more after a breast cancer diagnosis. Hope this helps X X
21-10-2018 10:47 PM
My goodness!!! I so resonate with how you are feeling just now. I too had invasive lobular cancer, and I too had to have a second op due to clear margins not being achieved. I was also told before my second op that I would only require rads, but for me, that changed and I was offered chemo. It was up to me to accept this or go with rads only. After talking things over with family, I decided to go down the chemo option. I can now honestly say that chemo wasn't as bad as I thought, and I've never regretted my decision to go ahead with it.
All ll this happened for me in November 2013, and I have just been discharged from my cancer team and feel fab. Going through all this 💩 is so hard, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel!! Hang on in there!
Not it sure how big your tumour was, but bear in mind that us lobular ladies normally have larger lumps than ductal ladies due to the fact the they're difficult to detect and don't alway show up on mammos.
Sooo, as someone 5 years down the line, I wish you all the best with your treatment whatever it may be. Take care and big hugs, Ann X X X
21-10-2018 10:04 PM
21-10-2018 06:53 PM
Hi Rosie, sorry you find yourself here. The anxiety you are feeling is completely normal and after having cancer treatment it takes a long time to get over it. I was diagnosed in March 2017 and I still have some anxiety issues after being told I'm high risk for recurrence. If you want to have a look at my blog you may find some comfort in knowing how someone else has felt: http://lifeafterlola.blogspot.com There are lots of us living normal lives after treatment but not everyone stays around on here to report back to those newly diagnosed. Best wishes and I hope you continue to do well.xx
21-10-2018 06:21 PM
21-10-2018 06:16 PM
21-10-2018 06:13 PM
Hi Rosie, welcome to the forum 😊
Everything you are feeling and thinking right now is normal, I have cancer how can I get through/ live with /survive beyond this? Questions that no one can give us definate answers too and it does drive you quite mad!
I was convinced i wouldnt survive the month, this was going to be the end of me and my future was gone, the anxiety around these thoughts were horrendous and I could barely function but those around me kept me going, my husband dragged me to each appointment where I would fight him every step, my family and friends would make sure I was never alone and between them all they made me put one foot in front of the other.
Each step began to come and go, results were in, treatment plan in place, anxiety beginning to lift and this bought a belief that things might just be ok and 3.5 years on I can tell you that they most certainly are ok!
Your husband is spot on, so many ladies come through treatment and never look back, it does become a distant memory , it's certainly not the first thing on my mind any more, I and many others here stick around this forum to try and help and not because we are struggling to move on.
Things will get easier, once you know for certain what is happening , what treatment you are having and when then you will feel you have regained control but in the mean time it's ok to feel scared, anxious and angry but don't try to second guess what is to come, deal with it as it happens, no amount of fretting is going to change anything and for the most of us the worrying is needless as things are generally straight forward.
21-10-2018 05:58 PM
21-10-2018 05:34 PM
I’m new to the forum and not quite sure if I’m posting under the correct category. I was diagnosed in July with grade 2 invasive lobular cancer with clear nodes. I have had a WLE in August and a further re-excision in October. I am 51. I am still waiting for the results of the further excision, which if aren’t clear will mean a mastectomy. I am really struggling with anxiety, I have been told this is normal given the circumstances, I also have regular panic attacks. As you can imagine I have so many worries all starting with he words ‘what if’. I am having trouble sleeping and this is causing me worry too. The lump was quite big and this worries me, although the consultant says it is now removed and doesn’t seem too concerned about the size. I have been told the nodes are clear and it is confined to the breast. People say I should be jumping for joy at this, but somehow I have trouble believing what I am told. I know it sounds like I don’t trust the medical team but, I do. I just can’t allow myself to believe it could be okay. I’m not sure if this is natural reaction or if my anxiety is playing tricks on me. I am not sure yet if I will need chemotherapy, both the nurse and consultant say it is unlikely, but I have convinced myself I will am petrified. I have also concluded, and I hope this is my negative part of my brain talking, that it always comes back and I won’t live to grow old with my husband. I know people say that no one knows when they are going to go, and to make the most of everyday. Of course this is good advice, but currently all I can see is negativity. I am having hypnotherapy, CBT and I’m on antidepressants. I am worried how I am going to move forward after all the treatment is finished. I don’t find the nurses particularly helpful, but then I probably want what I can’t have... reassurance. I do understand they can’t promise anything, so not blaming them and I’m sure there are people in greater need of their services than me. Are there women (and men) who have had bc who go on to live a normal lifespan? My husband says there must be plenty, but most won’t spend their time posting on forums they will be off enjoying their life and the bc a distant memory. I wish I could believe him. I’m finding myself withdrawing from friends and family as I keep going over the same worries day in day out and I feel guilty for doing this. Has anyone else experienced the same sort of anxiety and managed to move on? Any tips, words of wisdom or positivity would be very welcome. Sorry for the long post. Hugs to everyone who is going through this at the moment. xx