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Advice/insights on sharing the news

40 REPLIES 40
Member

Re: Advice/insights on sharing the news

Hi Ally,

 

Thanks for your e-mail. How are you doing today?

 

Yes, I've got the first of those books you mentioned, written by the two doctors, it's good isn't it. I'll have a look at the other one you mentioned, thanks Smiley Happy Let me know how you get on returning to work, I'm planning to work in Week 3 of my cycle. 

 

I'm 42 and so will be having early menopause too ... I think that's the bit I'm going to find hardest ;( however I'm focusing currently on getting ready for starting my chemo and trying not to think too much about early menopause and when I do think about it reminding myself that taking this proactive approach will mean less chance of reccurrence ... I have a friend who is further along this same journey than either of us so I'll pass on any tips she gives me when it gets nearer the time. She lives in a different country so it's good to see that the international approach is the same.   

 

Soup ... the recipes are all for using in a soup maker but could be adapted easily enough if you don't have one ... I could recommend a soup maker though, I'll definitely be using mine rather than it just being another kitchen appliance stuck in a cupboard somewhere and taking up space! They are good, noisier than I expected though! and quick as it only takes 21 minutes on the smooth setting - I'm using a book called "100 Soup Maker Recipes" by Liana Green though I've only tried 3 of them so far! .... do you have any favourite foods? ... I think I liked the leek and butternut squash soup best, I found the red lentil and kale a little heavy .... anyway here's a couple of recipes ....

 

Leek & Butternut Squash

600g butternut squash, peeled, seeded and finely chopped

2 leeks (approx 400g) and 1 medium onion, both chopped

2 garlic cloves, crushed; 2tsp mixed dried herbs; 750ml vegetable stock

70g plain Greek yoghurt

 

Add all ingredients apart from yoghurt to soup maker and stir; don't go above the max line and top up to min line with with water if required in your soup maker. Put the lid on and select the smooth setting. Remove the lid and mix the yoghurt in, blending manually for about 15 to 20 seconds. 

  

 

Spiced Root Vegetable Medley

1 onion, chopped and 2 cloves garlic, crushed

300g carrots, 150g parsnips and 400g swede, all peeled and chopped

2tsp garam masala

750ml vegetable stock

 

Heat 1 tbsp of oil either in your soup maker if it has a saute function or in a saucepan, add the chopped onions and saute for 5 minute, add the garlic and garam masala for a further 2 minutes then switch off saute function/transfer the ingredients to your soup maker and add all the remaining ingredients and stir to combine, ensure correct levels (min/max line), add lid and select smooth setting - though I want to try this one on the chunky setting too Smiley Happy

 

Hope you have a good weekend, Alderney xx  

Member

Re: Advice/insights on sharing the news

Good morning Alvilajo, 

 

Ok, please keep us updated in regards to joe you’re doing xx 

 

I hope you have a great day xx 

Member

Re: Advice/insights on sharing the news

Hi ally

They have said radio therapy but I assume this could change depending on lymph node results. Xxx

Member

Re: Advice/insights on sharing the news

Hi yes I've started jotting down a few things to ask xxx


@Alderney wrote:

Hi Alvilajo,

I'm good thanks, just trying to be organised ahead of starting my chemo at the end of the month. 

Glad you know what your treatment plan is. Do you know you can request a copy of your pathology report which will have all the information in it. I also found it helpful to write down all the questions I wanted to ask - to the surgeon and to the breast care nurse - as your mind can easily go blank when you get into the appointment. I also found it really helpful to have a friend with me, if there is someone available to go with you as an extra pair of ears! They let me take the lead and ask all my questions and then asked a question about something which I hadn't even thought of asking but which was useful to know about. Take care xx   


 

Member

Re: Advice/insights on sharing the news

Hi Alvilajo, 

 

Thank you for sharing your journey. I’m having my op after my chemo, I have lymph notes to be removed too. I just can’t wait for it to be over.. Do you know whether you will have chemo or radiotherapy after? Xx 

Member

Re: Advice/insights on sharing the news

Hi Alderney, 

 

sorry for the late reply. 

 

I hope you are well today. 

 

Your soup sounds amazing! Could you kindly give me the recipe please. 

 

I am having 4 rounds of AC and then PTD, I will have 6 injections after with T.. which means early menopause 🙄😩. 

 

I had had my eyebrows micro bladed before treatment and I have my wig appointment tomorrow too, so I understand covering all bases. 

 

At the gym, I’m doing various exercises. My main ones are the trendmill on incline for 15 minutes, and then free weights for my abs and legs. I’ve started a LBT’s class too. It’s good that you’re walking, I read exercise is really good. 

 

I have also decided to go back to work, I will return on condensed hours though.. 

 

I have brought two books, one I’d called “The complete guide to breast cancer, how to feel empowered and take control”. This book helped me with my questions when I initially met with my oncologist and yesterday I ordered a book called “Radical Remission, surviving cancer against all odds”. They may come in handy for you. 

 

Talk soon, Ally xxx 

Member

Re: Advice/insights on sharing the news

Hi Alvilajo,

I'm good thanks, just trying to be organised ahead of starting my chemo at the end of the month. 

Glad you know what your treatment plan is. Do you know you can request a copy of your pathology report which will have all the information in it. I also found it helpful to write down all the questions I wanted to ask - to the surgeon and to the breast care nurse - as your mind can easily go blank when you get into the appointment. I also found it really helpful to have a friend with me, if there is someone available to go with you as an extra pair of ears! They let me take the lead and ask all my questions and then asked a question about something which I hadn't even thought of asking but which was useful to know about. Take care xx   

Member

Re: Advice/insights on sharing the news

Hi, met surgeon my op is 29th. He has said he will remove cancer and 4 lymph nodes. I am still a bit confused regarding type stage etc. I will ask more questions next wed at pre op appointment How are you xxx

Member

Re: Advice/insights on sharing the news

Hi Alvilajo,

Sorry to hear about your diagnosis however pleased to hear that you have been coping and taking it one day at a time. How did you get on at your appointment with the surgeon on Friday? Are you a step nearer to find out your treatment plan? Hope you are doing okay and that your anxiety remains under control.

Alderney xx 

Member

Re: Advice/insights on sharing the news

Hi Alderney it looks like we are both at the same stage . I found out Tuesday and am meeting surgeon Friday, it is a lot to take in but the thing that I can't understand is I have suffered from anxiety for 23 years worrying about health issues and finally I have got something to worry about I'm fine and coping with it! I'm taking one day at a time approach as I can't change anything and trust i will be looked after. Hope your ok xxxxx

Member

Re: Advice/insights on sharing the news

Hi Ally2019,

Glad to hear the side-effects from your chemo were manageable. 

Yes, I made a split red lentil and kale soup, I've frozen most of it but did try one portion and it was quite rich / heavy but had quite a lot of taste too. Also root vegetables with garam masala, and leek and butternut squash soups. 

I am also going to be having chemo before surgery and have a meeting with my oncology team on 12/3/19 and will start my chemo (FEC for 3 cycles and then FEC-T for a further 3 cycles) after that. I'm going to give the cold cap a try but have also booked a consultation at a wig shop to cover all bases. 

Lollies are a great plan for fluid intake, especially if the nice weather continues, thank you for the idea Smiley Happy

Hope your recovery from your first chemo continues to go well. What exercise have you been doing at the gym? I've started going for daily walks.   

Alderney xx     

Member

Re: Advice/insights on sharing the news

Good morning Alderney, 

 

I am really happy for you that you will get your treatment plan ❤️

Do you have an appointment where you will find out? X 

My first chemo went well, I had a couple of tired days and nausea but it was manageable. I just had to adjust my eating habits, so the soup maker will come in handy! I made loads of lentil soups and I made a vegetable one yesterday. Lollies, are great too. 

I did try the cold cap, first 10 minutes it is very cold, but after that I was fine with it. 

 

I’m off to the gym today xx 

Member

Re: Advice/insights on sharing the news

Hi Ally2019,

How are you? How did your chemo go? Hope the side-effects were manageable. Did you try a cold cap?

I've got the results from my second biopsy on Tuesday, so should hopefully find out if it's going to be surgery or chemo first. In the meantime I've finally got round to trying out the soup maker which I bought before Christmas!

Alderney xx 

Member

Re: Advice/insights on sharing the news

Sorry! I got all carried away 🙈. How are you too? X 

Member

Re: Advice/insights on sharing the news

Hi Alderney, 

 

I am well today, I’m all ready for tomorrow. I start my chemo tomorrow ☺️. I got all of my bits today. I think I went a little over the top though ha ha. I brought so many things like the toothpaste and month wash, I got my mints and ginger sweets. I cooked for the next couple of days too. 

 

I agree re allotment! Look at this fruit too, if you haven’t already heard of it, it’s called Soursap (I couldn’t paste the link). I’ve had my cup today and will continue. I will definitely try the cerlery juice too. 

 

Fingers crossed that your biopsy comes back ok xx 

 

I am glad to hear that you are focusing on other things, same here. 

 

I will I’ll let you know how I get on tomorrow, take care xx 

Member

Re: Advice/insights on sharing the news

Hi Ally,

How are you doing? Are you starting your chemo tx this week?

I've been looking more into diet/lifestyle. I might get my own allotment when I'm done with treatment, in the meantime I'm eating lots of fruit and veg and looking into organic stores and pilates courses! One of my friends with BC recommended celery juice, you can whizz it up in a juicer or make in a blender with some water however then it needs straining. I gave it a try and it tastes better than I thought Smiley Wink

I had a second biopsy this week on a suspicious looking area of tissue and on one of the lymph nodes and am awaiting the results. Keeping busy in the meantime focusing on things I can have some influence over like diet and exercise Smiley Wink

All the best, Alderney xx 

Member

Re: Advice/insights on sharing the news

Hi Alderney, 

 

My main hobby is exercising and reading. I think, I will definitely try crafting and knitting, I think I need something therapeutic that will help ease my mind. So thank you for your recommendations xx 

 

I would love to go to Peru! Please tell me (if it is your sort of read) that you have read the Celestine Prophecy? I found it an amazing insight into life xx 

Member

Re: Advice/insights on sharing the news

Hi Helena, 

 

I hope that you’re well today x 

 

Thank you, I will definitely try it. I watched a lady on a training course do it, I think it will be definitely therapeutic for me. 

Member

Re: Advice/insights on sharing the news

Hi Ally2019,

 

I'm good thanks. Glad to hear your meeting went well and that you like your care team and got some clarity on your treatment plan and questions. I can imagine that it is back to having information spilling out of your brain however am sure that will settle over the next few days/weeks.  

 

Mmm hobbies ... what kind of thing do you like? I know gentle exercise is good ... pilates, yoga etc ... Maybe crafting? It wouldn't be my kind of thing but I can imagine it might work well. Crotcheting, knitting etc? I'm hoping to finally get my photos sorted from when I went to Peru nearly a year ago!

 

Take care, and keep in touch, Alderney xx

Community Champion

Re: Advice/insights on sharing the news

Ally

 

Whilst I was having treatment for my bc and recently whilst I was off after a hysterectomy, I have been doing cross stitch. I found it allowed me space not to think about what I was going through and it was a form of escape.  Must admit I am now very addicted to it and find when I come home from work the first thing I pick up after making myself a cup of tea is my cross stitch, I always have at least one on the go Smiley Happy Smiley Happy

 

Helena xxx

Member

Re: Advice/insights on sharing the news

Hi Alderney, 

 

I feel the same, as each day is different and my emotions are too. One minute I’m ok, then the next I can get very upset. I said to my friend, this journey is very turbulent. I’m glad that your day got better as it went on 😊. Xx

Member

Re: Advice/insights on sharing the news

Hi Alderney, 

 

How are you today? 

 

My meeting went well, my Oncologist is the same one my dad had. I asked a lot of questions and got clarity, it was too much information for my mind to retain. But I made notes. I will start my treatment (hopefully) on the week of the 18th February. I will have chemotherapy for 6 months, then surgery. I’ve been signed off of work, so at least I can get some head space but work keeps me going too 😒. So, I will have to find a new hobby. Any recommendations?

 

Thank you for checking in on me too xxx  

Member

Re: Advice/insights on sharing the news

Hi Ally2019,

 

Hope your meeting went okay on Friday, and you were able to get all the information you needed and ask all the questions that you needed to ask, let us know how you got on, thinking of you xx

 

 

Member

Re: Advice/insights on sharing the news

Thanks Ally2019, will be thinking of you tomorrow xx

 

I am taking it a day at a time and considering each day a fresh start, I had a wobbly start this morning however my day definitely got better as it went on Smiley Wink xx 

 

Delly, thank you for your lovely message and for coming back twice to post it! Smiley Happy xx

Member

Re: Advice/insights on sharing the news

Hi Alderney, 

 

I hope that you are well today. Yesterday, my day wasn’t too good, so I’m definitely taking time off of work next week 😩

 

I think that is great that you have stocked up and taking care of yourself, I will be definitely taking a leaf out of your book. 

 

Thank you regarding tomorrow, I will definitely update you. I hope that all goes well with yours tomorrow and your feedback is good next week xx 

Highlighted
Member

Re: Advice/insights on sharing the news

Yey, it's appeared. I think I neglected to tick the "Robot" box !!

xxx

Member

Re: Advice/insights on sharing the news

Hi girls

I've tried twice now to leave a post, but neither have appeared, so giving it another go.

Ally - Hope all goes favourably for you on Friday.

Same for you Alderney. sorry you had scanner hiccups that have delayed "the wait" even longer, but it sounds as though you've been keeping yourself busy and bouyed up - hope that's the case. Shame the brain doesn't have a switch you can just flick on or off, hey.

Lots of love to everyone

Delly xxxxxx

 

Member

Re: Advice/insights on sharing the news

Hi Ally2019,

 

Thanks for the information about diet Smiley Happy I had a look at the Dawn Waldron site and prefer her idea about synergy between medical treatments and nutrition, exercise etc to some other websites. I've been to the shops today and stocked up on fruit, nuts, seeds etc! Not so sure about kale and cabbage - or their side-effects!! - but I love all fruits, especially the various berries, pineapple, mango etc.   

 

All the best for your treatment plan meeting on Friday.

 

My team are discussing my treatment plan in their MDT on Friday and then I've got a meeting with my surgeon / consultant on Tuesday to find out the details. 

 

And yes, we can do this Smiley Happy xxx 

Member

Re: Advice/insights on sharing the news

Hi Anniej, 

 

Thank you, I really appreciate you replying to me. 

 

I definitely feel mindfulness is helping me get by. Mornings are my worse, but within an hour, I’m usually ok. 

 

Thank you for the recommendations, I will certainly try them. 

 

I will keep you posted, I get my treatment plan on Friday. Xxx 

Community Champion

Re: Advice/insights on sharing the news

Hi Ally, I'm glad you found this forum as its a great place both for emotional support and advice. I think keeping yourself busy is key at this time. A really good idea you have is preparing for the worst case scenario by reading around the subject. There is a great interactive web site which identifies beneficial foods for BC . Just type in foodsforbreastcancer.com.' Mindfulness is a great tool to use, specially if you have difficulty sleeping, or you find your mind in overdrive. Which I certainly did. My local Maggies Centre provided a course which I thoroughly enjoyed. I also met people in the same situation, and was able to tap into peer support, as well as the staff there. I bought a couple of good recipe books especially to support those going through cancer, and managed to get Some meals in the freezer. I also re stocked the freezer with things like frozen pineapple which is great for nasty chemo mouth, and I stewed up apples and rhubarb. Stewed apples are easy to eat, and rhubarb helped greatly with constipation. I did seem to do a lot of retail therapy as I replaced a lot of bath products with paraban free stuff, and also went the comfy cotton underwear, and pj route. Dumped the nighties as I knew raising my arm could be an issue. ( it was) I have to admit night times were worse for me, but I managed my breathing techniques, did my mindfulness meditation exercises and went on every course offered by Maggies! I also poured my heart out into my journal every night, so laid those feelings to rest before laying my head down. There is a lot of info on the top tips thread that you might want to tap into, but you have made an excellent start. Well done you. X

Member

Re: Advice/insights on sharing the news

Good luck for tomorrow too xx 

Member

Re: Advice/insights on sharing the news

Hi Alderney, 

 

Thank you for replying and your advice is greatly appreciated. 

 

I agree in regards to work, I felt the same. My manager is aware but not my team. I have just finished by biopsy appointment and it has gone well. I’m currently having a hot chocalate, thinking wow “this is really happening”. The consultant did say that she isn’t too worried about the other lumps that they found. But, they still took samples. So that is good news Smiley Wink

 

I have an appointment on Friday for my treatment plan. So that is very helpful. 

 

I have also looked at my diet and done some research about the things that I can eat. This lady’s website I found very helpful https://dawnwaldron.com also if you have Netflix there is a documentary called Heal that I found helpful. 

 

Thank you again for your advice, I will definitely take them on board. I will keep you updated, but if need to chat. Please feel free to contact me. 

 

We can do this Smiley Happy xxxxxx 

Member

Re: Advice/insights on sharing the news

 

 

 

I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis Ally2019 and hope that you don't have too long to wait. People say that this is the hardest time, waiting for all the results to come back and to discuss the treatment plan and that as you progress through your treatment plan you find an inner strength and resilience that helps you through.

I’m still very much at the beginning of this journey and hopefully some of the champions will be along soon with their wealth of knowledge and experience however I’ve jotted down a few thoughts, please take what you find helpful from them and leave the rest. We are all unique and everyone’s journey is different, at the same time it is good to know that there are those, who have got through this and who are so willing to share their wisdom with us.

 

I'm finding it helpful to research/read up on information in small amounts and on recognised websites and then give myself time to digest this and how it may affect my life before taking on board any more information. I’m also keeping an ever-expanding list of questions in preparation for when I have the appointments with my consultant and breast care nurse to discuss my treatment plan.

 

I’ve stopped pushing myself to do x, y and z and started listening to and acknowledging my body more and where I’m at psychologically, responding with some self-care, taking time out when I need it and doing things when I can.

 

Recognising my worries and my concerns, but finding out what I need to know now at this point in my journey and trying not to leap too far ahead (mindfulness!) so that I don’t get overwhelmed. There’s some stuff that I’ve just “parked” and will come back to when it’s the right time.

Being prepared that there will be times when I do feel overwhelmed and that that’s okay and part of the course ... the first time I went into work after my diagnosis was one of those times for me ... it hit me on a whole new level because everything was the same, and yet different ... I took an early lunch, went for a walk and gave myself time, then composed myself and went back to work, the day got slowly better and it felt good to have that “first” under my belt.

 

I’m not sure whether you work or not, or if so whether you’ve been into work, it depends so much on what job you might do, how supportive your employer might be, your job/financial situation … I know for some it’s been right to take some time out, I’ve had quite a lot of leave to take which has been helpful, and when I have gone in it’s been good to have a bit of normality ... you need to do whatever works best for you.

Take care Ally2019 and let us know how you get on, Alderney xx

Member

Re: Advice/insights on sharing the news

Hi all, 

 

I have been recently diagnosed too with breast cancer, mine is invasive. I have to undergo another biopsy to see if it has spread all over my breast and I am waiting for more results. That will determine my treatment, I’m definitely feeling overwhelmed but each day I appear to be having a better day. I’m doing a lot of mindfulness and researching foods that are good for you such as green tea, turmeric and greens in general. 

 

Any advice on keeping oneself sane? I would really appreciate the advice. As even though each day I feel a tad better. It’s still very turbulent. 

 

Thank you in advance x 

Member

Re: Advice/insights on sharing the news

Thanks for the advice Anniej xx

Member

Re: Advice/insights on sharing the news

Thanks Delly. The MRI scanner was broken so my scan was delayed until this afternoon, all done now so hopefully they've now got all the information they need however it means I missed this week's MDT meeting so my tx plan consultation has been put back until the 12th xx

Community Champion

Re: Advice/insights on sharing the news

Hi Aldernay, super advice from Delly which I endorse . Excellent that you've found us. If you need to make sense of your pathology report can I suggest downloading the extremely helpful advice leaflet on this site. It certainly helped me get my head around everything, and helped to formulate questions for my surgeon. As for telling people...well, we are all different . I've got a gob on me, and I couldn't have kept quiet if you'd paid me! However, loving those close to me meant the news(!) needed to be delivered sensitively. It was like a media event. I didn't tell anyone until I had a firm diagnosis and a plan in place. First were our two sons. An e mail saying to ring me - how could I phone one before the other? First one to ring heard first. Second, my nearest neighbours and best friends who were given the job of telling other good neighbours who I suspect were wondering just what was going on. Thirdly, my three oldest and far flung friends who would not have been privy to all the comings and goings as we dashed around hospitals and clinics. I started my spiel by saying I had bad news and I didn't want sympathy. I'd cried enough tears by then, and couldn't be doing with any more. I did ask for practical help in the house as I knew it would be tough for hubby, and it was! Words of sympathy are easy, but acts of kindness are gold. 💝. My elder son downloaded the helpful pamphlet on this site on how to tell children. An excellent publication. 

Probably far too much information, and you need to do what's right for you. Good luck for the future. X

P.S us and our best friends / neighbours got royally pi****d that night! 🍷

P.P.S. Get one of this V shaped pillows to prop you up and stop you turning over. X

Member

Re: Advice/insights on sharing the news

Hi Alderney

 

Fingers crossed for favourable results for you today. Let us know your results when you get them, will you.

Delly xxxx

Member

Re: Advice/insights on sharing the news

Thanks Delly,

I'm due to have my MRI scan tomorrow, the machine is currently broken however it should be fixed by lunchtime tomorrow or if not I will hopefully be able to travel to a mobile scanner as I am due to meet the consultant on Tuesday to go through the treatment plan. 

Thanks so much for your advice, Alderney x

Member

Re: Advice/insights on sharing the news

Hey Alderney

Firstly, allow me to say how sorry I am to hear of you initial diagnosis, but to congratulate you on coming onto here so soon. A great place to receive help, support and advice.

I'm a bit confused, are you saying you have yet to have your MRI scan, for a more clear differential diagnosis, with appointment after with Onco specialist to discuss the treatment required? Or that you've had the MRI, and yet to have your onco apptmnt to discuss treatments?

That's tough being on your own. I understand your friends being family. I'm in the same situ now, since losing all my direct blood family, though had my Mum during my diag and treatments 2006 and 2007 (an absolute rock), but sadly no longer. Good that you have some really good friends to support you.

You've already told some of your friends. Do you wait until your treatment plan to then tell the rest? Well in once sense, the sooner you tell everyone, the quicker they too can get their heads around it all, and the sooner they can start rallying round to help support you. Personally, if I were a friend, I want to know sooner.

 

Sleeping on your back? - I was the same. Used to sleep on my side. As you're one sided for any treatment, you still have the option to sleep on the opposite side, with your treated side uppermost. Or lie on your back, prop yourself up with a pillow against the treated side, to prevent yourself rolling onto it and disturbing yourself during the night. You will find you DO get used to it though.

 

Good luck, flower. Please DO let us know what's going on with you and how you are, won't you.

Loadsa love, Delly xxx       

Member

Advice/insights on sharing the news

I was diagnosed with breast cancer this week at my local BCU … I’ve got a large lump (maybe 5-6cm) in the fatty tissue in the bottom half of my left breast, it’s invasive but I’m not sure yet whether it’s ductal or lobular. It’s strongly ER+, less strongly PR+ and they didn’t have the HER+ results back. I’m starting to get my head around all of this and now have a long list of qu’s for my next appt scheduled following my MRI scan!

Although I’m single and live on my own I have some really good friends who are like family … I’m beginning to learn how unique everyone’s journey/circumstances/BC, and I know it’ll be different for each person you tell, but I’ve only told a couple of friends so far and would be appreciative of any advice/insights from your experiences of sharing your news.

Also, I’ve always slept on my front … any advice on learning how to get to sleep on my back? Thank you 😊