Thank you for your incredibly honest post today. So many things you’ve said resonate with me. I’m only 4 months post treatment and have questioned why I haven’t just picked myself up and got back on with life, I even felt like that 2 weeks after my mastectomy, which I’m beginning to understand now is madness. How can anyone go back to who they were?
I’ve had some CBT counselling and talked at length about feeling guilty for being so down, as I was told I’m still in recovery and that’s what I’ve got to remind myself for now.
Friends and family are the hard part tho as the longer time goes on the more difficult it is to talk to people but some how I’ve got to learn to cope with that.
I’m glad you got the help you needed and life has turned around for you. I wish you continued good health and happiness for the future xx
Thank you I really needed to read this. I sought counselling straight after my radiotherapy but only had 5 out of the 8 sessions, as the psychologist changed jobs. However, I then went on to do a course on line through Healthy Minds. It is a Cognitive Behavioural Therapy course and it has helped a lot. I also think Progressive Muscle Relaxation can help too and Diaphragmatic Breathing. They are all worth a try!
You are quite right, once you have undergone the operation and all of the treatments, everyone presumes you are fine. In many ways that’s the easy bit, it’s the adjusting to normal life again that’s the really hard bit. Every pain and ache I get I panic. My anxiety levels since my diagnosis have been sky high, but CBT and Escitalopram have helped. It’s work in progress but I’m taking each day as it comes. At least now my panic attacks have subsided that was a really scary time!
Well done you and good luck for the future.
Dear BC ladies,
its been a while since i was on this site but it helped me so much as a youngish woman who lived alone and still does live alone. This month I had my usual mamo all clear after 4 years. My cancer ILC has a habit of coming back 10-15 years later so each year/day/moment I cherish.
The reason i want to share with you fellow ladies its that it has been a hard 4 years post treatment. When i was diagnosed I broke down and was put on anti depressants Citalopram 20mg daily and have only recently decided the time was right to cone off them. They did help me through treatment but there was a price to pay it numbed the pain but it also numbed my sexual feelings too. I was not interested in anything remotely like sex or relationships. I was not ready for counselling but at the start of this year I was left with no choice. My life was a joke I was drinking too much not looking after myself and not giving a **bleep** about anything. I was in a dark place for most of the 4 years after treatment. But one day I had enough and knew I had to help myself. I can honestly say that counselling has gotten rid of the cancer demons in my head. Both my parents died of cancer so I was convinced not to give a damm about my life and just survive. I’d die soon enough anyway. . Lets face it we BC ladies get very good at that. We either go all out on a health kick or abuse our bodies with alcohol/cigarettes you name it after treatment. The counselling has given me the desire to live again and look after myself. I am a changed woman. I can only share this in the hope that someone reading this who felt like me can know that you can live again. Don’t feel guilty for feeling low it can take years for you to fully get over a cancer diagnosis and one could argue you never do you just learn to live with it. All our friends/family expect us to be all sunshine and happiness after treatment we’re alive and should be grateful we keep getting told. Its just their way of helping when they want to forget about it as it reminds them of their own mortality. We BC ladies internalise this frustration that nobody understands us so we go quiet. Saying to people yeah everything is fine because we know they don’t want yo hear that life is actually not fine for us.
Take heart ladies you can get through this but it takes guts, strength and the inner reserve of someone thinking of joining the SAS! But you and you alone can navigate this psychological rollercoaster post treatment. I can only say please seek counselling when you are ready and only then. It helped me leran to live again.
Hugs Fellow BC Ladies