14-09-2018 11:58 AM
14-09-2018 11:12 AM
14-09-2018 09:54 AM - edited 14-09-2018 09:59 AM
Hi LittlePixie, sorry to hear you've been feelling blue... hope things pick up now you've got the chemo underway. Love the sound of the away day... I definately have the belly for belly dancing!
Pat & Gabby - Sounds like you are making the first steps to near hairstyles... I had past shoulder length hair for well over 25 years and had to brave having mine cut short before having chemo. I didn't want to see the great lengths falling out. I went for a very short pixie cut (as short as I could go without actually being shaved - I didn't cold cap so it didn't matter too much) and I was so surprised... everybody loved it.. in fact everyone has said "don't grow your hair long again you look so much younger" even the butcher told me on Saturday how young I look (I have since got a short wig and he didn't even realise it wasn't my hair!). I would never have been brave enough to try a short hairstyle if it wasn't for chemo, and I was devastated when 2 weeks later I had to shave the lot as it all fell out very quickly but at least this blasted C gave me one positive... I now know I can rock short hair! Good luck with the hair cuts.. my hairdresser knew why I was doing it and was very helpful, I did cry but 5 chemos have passed and I am getting hair back.. albeit short fluffy white stuff...
13-09-2018 11:05 PM
13-09-2018 05:03 PM - edited 13-09-2018 05:04 PM
Hi Pat, (I thought I'd posted this earlier, but somehow didn't - technology or chemo brain!?) I'm having my hair cut short tomorrow as well. Initially I got myself really worked up about this - I haven't had my hair short since my granddad made me have a very short bob when I was 8 and I was furious! Now, however, I am trying to see it as another step towards recovery and maybe it will even be fun to try something new. Have you had a look at styles online? I got some advice on this from my daughter. She is 17 and thinks I might actually look quite cool, which would be a first! Have you spoken to your hairdresser? I think it's worth telling him/her that you're not doing this out of choice and are feeling a bit anxious. I spoke to mine and she was lovely; I've been going to her for years, she's had cancer, and will help me through this I'm sure. Incidentally, when I finished cold-capping yesterday, one of the chemo nurses advised me not to have my hair cut too short i.e. keep the hairline at the back covered, so that my neck will still be protected a little during cold-capping. This might be a good intermediate step for me and less of a shock (until my hair starts falling out!). Here's to the new us - good luck for tomorrow, Pat.
13-09-2018 02:46 PM
13-09-2018 02:45 PM
Yup I agree with KTK... the FEC seems to hit quickly but you bounce back again after a few days. Just rest, drink and take it easy. I believe some people do feel the cold with it too, I got hot flushes so went the other way. Box sets, duvet and PJs and rest up!
13-09-2018 11:56 AM
13-09-2018 10:59 AM
13-09-2018 10:13 AM
Hi Kip, Thank you so much for sharing your experience. It really helps to see that I'm not the only one struggling. Oddly enough, once I'd put my last post on this forum, I started to feel so much better - it's like a valve was opened and all my bad feelings started to leave. I'm sure there will be more bad days, but at least for now, I'm ok again.
Had my first chemo yesterday which went really well. So far no sickness: I've been given a barrage of tablets, am also drinking lots of herbal teas and water, and wearing anti-sickness wrist bands. I'm throwing everything at this and something seems to be working - so far I'm feeling fine, hurrah! My nurse yesterday was so kind and efficient, which really helped. She changed the bandage on my picc line, which had been bothering me and my arm now feels as good as new, even managed to do some gentle Pilates this morning, so am feeling rather pleased with myself. The only thing I've noticed is that my temperature seems to have crashed to just under 36C - has anyone else had that happen after chemo? I've had a hot shower, piled on layers of clothing and am having hot drinks. I'll keep an eye on this till lunch time, as my BCN was very keen for me to monitor my temperature. I don't actually feel cold (though I did last night), so it's a bit odd.
Met a lovely lady on the chemo ward yesterday, who has almost reached the end of her treatment. She gave me lots of encouragement and some tips about cold capping and hair (cold cap wasn't actually too bad at all after first 10 minutes). She went round all the patients and chatted to them, before she left. It was such a kind gesture and you could see people's faces brighten as she moved through the room. Ordinarily her chattiness might have annoyed me slightly, but it was just what I needed yesterday. I shall remember her kindness and cheerfulness - these small things make such a difference and it is important to treasure them amidst all this rubbish that we have to go through.
12-09-2018 11:28 AM
12-09-2018 10:37 AM
Hi ladies, sorry to hear some of you are struggling at the moment. I've been there to, and still get there sometimes. I was diagnosed in April and have had MX and 5 x chemo so far (3 x FEC 2 x T) and I get you. My gosh I have cried more in the last few months than I ever thought was possible. I have had every black thought going. Ive shouted that "I want my old life back" on more than one occasion. Its normal, its crap and there is no quick fix BUT you won't always feel like that. When I was first diagnosed I could not see past the next hour or two, but I spoke with some ladies who had had breast cancer and I read every thread on here and everyone said... the most difficult part is the beginning... when you are waiting for answers, having more and more tests, results keep changing and it feels like nothing will ever improve. Once you get treatment started you feel more in control, something is happening, you have answers, although you are always waiting for the next answer too. And those ladies were right, I feel better now that I am doing something. Remember its ok to feel scared, angry, to cry and shout, come on here and do it if you feel you can, we have all vented our frustrations and there is always someone with a word of wisdom or a "big hug" who understands. I have days when I just cry and can't see forwards, I think we always will, its human nature to be scared, but don't be alone, we are all here.. this forum has literally saved me ... you all get exactly how this feels and only someone in this **bleep**ty old ride can fully understand. Also, dont be afraid to speak to your BCN or ONC nurse or MacMillan unit or GP if you need to, there is so much support out there.
Oh and by the way... you will come to laugh at some of the most insensitive things people say to you...I've had some corkers!!
Take care all of you...
12-09-2018 08:34 AM
11-09-2018 06:45 PM
11-09-2018 06:15 PM
I am similar to you in that the seemingly long wait for treatment to start seemed never ending. I had my first chemo yesterday and feel better that the treatment has started. This forum is great because unfortunately people either saying you are strong or you’ll come through this does not mean much.
There are times when it is hard, sad or you’ll want to shout, just go with it. Use the forum. I don’t post much but take heart from reading others posts.. be kind to yourself.xx
11-09-2018 06:06 PM
Hi everone, I've been following this thread silently for the past few days, mainly because I have been feeling so low that I just couldn't think of anything to say. I'm still feeling very sad today, but reckon it's better to share this than stay quiet.
I am starting chemo tomorrow and hopefully that will help me feel a little more upbeat, just because the wait is now finally over and something is actually being done to get rid of this blasted BC. I seem to have spent my last week in hospital having one test after the other. Now they've discovered a large ovarian cyst, which has probably been there for some time and isn't causing me any problems; looks like it's benign, but they are doing more blood tests etc. I suppose it's good they've checked absolutely everything, but I've had enough of tests for now - I need some action!
I'm sure I'm not the only one struggling with lots of negative thoughts and emotions. I am constantly being told by friends and family, that I am so strong and will get through this (well-meaning support, but somehow not that helpful) - but right now I really don't feel strong and just feel like crying. I have contacted my BCN to see if she can maybe help and am waiting for her to call me back. But if anyone has any tips or advice on how to get through these "dark days", I would love to hear.
11-09-2018 03:54 PM
MamaTony, I would phone the nurse in your position. She can check the system and see if the results are in, and if they are, you can ask for an earlier discussion. My nurse phoned me today just to check how I was, and i asked if my lymph node biospy results were in, but they weren't yet, so hopefully will be back when I go to clinic next Tuesday.