Member
Posts: 494
Registered: ‎15-07-2017

Re: September 2017 Chemo Starters

Hi Cathy, Ohh  good luck with surgery today. Thinking of you. Let us know when you're back home or are you likely to stay over a night? What a Valentine's day for you...I'm sure your OH will be super worried for you. Hope you get to spend some lovely time together today. 

 

Fairydust x

 

Member
Posts: 364
Registered: ‎14-07-2017

Re: September 2017 Chemo Starters

Congratulations on the end of radiotherapy, jo and Mrs M! Moving towards the less intensive treatment now. Phew.
Hope your meeting with onc goes well today Ck, and you have a lovely Valentine’s Day in the restaurant- don’t overdo it though x

I’m waiting in pre op. Surgery today to clear margins on breast lump. Should be done by lunchtime. First on the list!

Another birthday celebration planned on Saturday evening - just a few girls over for food and drinks. Should be lovely. Also my partner has planned us a birthday weekend away in a couple of weeks - can’t wait!

MrsM - enjoy your film and night away. Last night sounded lovely with luxury and prosecco! Hope you weren’t too lonely without your hubby.

Ali - how are you feeling now?

Fairydust- are you over all the side effects now? Just expect a bigger emotional dip after the longer course of steroids.

Cx
Member
Posts: 1,138
Registered: ‎17-09-2016

Re: September 2017 Chemo Starters

The end of treatment hascertainly got us all thinking ladies! Jow that course sounds interesting.

Ck hope your apt goes well tomorrow and you get your dates. Dont work too hard.

Chaffinch glad you and your hubby had a good chat xx
Member
Posts: 173
Registered: ‎23-08-2017

Re: September 2017 Chemo Starters

Congratulations Jow - so happy for you that you are finished rads - my last one tomorrow - there is no bell but am excited as am taking in a box of tiny wrapped heart shaped soaps for the radiographers - 30 of them for valentines day as I love them all! Not sure if I wrote it on here or the radiotherapy thread but am extremely over anxious about the machines and would rather have surgery than radiotherapy ! So the staff have been very understanding and they are all my valentine this year.
OH has booked us to stay in the city again but not as posh a deal as last night- we are going to see the Churchill film at the cinema then dinner - hope film is loud so I don't fall asleep!
Hope everyone is doing well - Cathy is your birthday still ongoing? sending positive thoughts to you all xxx
CK
Member
Posts: 1,003
Registered: ‎07-08-2017

Re: September 2017 Chemo Starters

Chaffinch
I remember hormones haywire when my daughter did A levels and now shes 2nd year at uni studying criminology! She's calmed down since and more mature but still very anxious when doing exams and waiting for results.

Im seeing Onc tonorrow, hopefully will get my dates for rads.

Having a beer and trying to watchTrauma without falling asleep. Long day tonorrow. Hospital in the morning and then Valentines evening should be busy❤
Member
Posts: 1,076
Registered: ‎12-08-2017

Re: September 2017 Chemo Starters

Fairydust, my hubby and I had a chat last week during which he told me that men don’t overthink in the way that women do and will generally tell you if they are genuinely unhappy. He said just because he moans and grumbles doesn’t mean he’s had enough. We’ve been together for 34 years!
I’m used to pep talking my YD she is very anxiety ridden st the moment. I think the combination of A levels my diagnosis whilst waiting for her results, starting uni as I started treatment really haven’t helped bless her.
Member
Posts: 494
Registered: ‎15-07-2017

Re: September 2017 Chemo Starters

Hi Jow, that sounds intense but actually interesting.

 

Mishys earlier post also sounds good 're seeking confidence building and support for anxiety. My confidence in going back to life as it was, is so diminished. So all of your supportive suggestions are welcomed warmly.

 

Thanks both for sharing your inner thoughts with us. I wish you much luck in meeting your goals and getting through this. We will continue to support each other, through anxiety and tears of which it seems we will still shed many more,  and joy.

 

 

Fairydust x

Highlighted
jow
Member
Posts: 89
Registered: ‎23-08-2017

Re: September 2017 Chemo Starters

I’ve just read the posts- entertaining as ever!

Mrs M with her prosecco and slippers and Fairydust with her man dilemmas.  I think my psychologist would encourage us to live in the moment Fairy - to enjoy now for what it is (including your lovely man) rather than worrying about the future or ruminating on the past.  Easier said than done I know

 

Im trying to learn a bit about this ACT stuff, acceptance and commitment therapy which is the therapy  I’m having.  I’m not fully versed in it yet but it is about exploring what your values are and then committing action towards goals that sit with those values. It involves  learning to dissociate (e.g by using mindfulness practice) from  the negative thoughts that we will  inevitably have and which distract us from living according to those values.  It basically helps people to accept unpleasant feelings, but not over react or avoid situations which cause them.  I think! 

 

Just back home from my last radiotherapy session .  Had lunch with husband to celebrate and now in bed (i.e I’m in bed, not we’re in bed) as I’m pretty weary.  I don’t feel I can fully rejoice yet- have dreaded CT next week, plus hormone stuff and ovarian removal, bisohosphonates and paclociclib trial to get through yet, but guess it’s  step closer to the end of active treatment . I got another bell to ring and shed a tear when everyone clapped.  I’m sure I didn’t used to be this emotional ! 

 

Tried the choc ginger drink last night Cathy- delicious.  Is it your next op tomorrow?  

 

Jo x 

 

 

 

Member
Posts: 173
Registered: ‎23-08-2017

Re: September 2017 Chemo Starters

Many times during this process I have described myself as being emotionally incontinent!!
I am a crier anyway and have no chance now of keeping it under control - happy or sad - oh well...
Have a lovely day everyone x
Member
Posts: 494
Registered: ‎15-07-2017

Re: September 2017 Chemo Starters

Just to say he did send me a text once saying those who know me are lucky to know me,  which was lovely. Well, I think I'd better reply that I'm lucky to know him. He is a keeper.

 

I'm lucky to know you ladies too..very very lucky.

 

Fairydust x

Member
Posts: 494
Registered: ‎15-07-2017

Re: September 2017 Chemo Starters

Thanks so much wonderful ladies. Your advice is so positive. I needed that. I think it's clear I have no confidence in me when it comes to men. I always over do things. Thanks for keeping building me up when I fall. I fall too often though. I must learn.

MrsMeow is right,  I'm so much more emotional than I've ever been in my entire  life, but I know we all have our sadness and tears and wishes, and appreciate you spending time advising me with the benefit of your thoughts. You are so kind.

 

I will try very hard to see where this relationship goes, and try not to spoil it, but instead enjoy it even with its complications, which is really just part of life.

 

MrsMeow, I am sorry your OH is away from you while you sip Prosecco in a lovely luxury hotel room. I'm glad you found such a lovely room and feel pampered! That's so bittersweet for you. Hope you enjoyed it so much anyway, and thought of him with love. An early Valentine's treat for one. 

 

Have a lovely night all. Sleep tight.

 

Fairydust x

 

 

 

 

Member
Posts: 1,138
Registered: ‎17-09-2016

Re: September 2017 Chemo Starters

Fairydust you write so openly! Thats what i l9ve about this forum. We can just let it all out!

I agree with everyone else - go with the flow!! Your man has stayed through tough times. He could have bailedbut he didnt. He wouldnot have stayed if he hadnt wanted to - he stayed for you!

Your treatment is done and you are rec9vering from SE's. Just enjoy what you have now and see how it develops. You will know if its right or not xxx

Mrs Meow, hope you have a l0vely restful night xxx
Member
Posts: 173
Registered: ‎23-08-2017

Re: September 2017 Chemo Starters

Fairydust your emotions are in turmoil and that is ok - in my vast experience (haha) men are fairly simple beings and the fact he is still with you means he is happy and you are doing everything right by being you - he is a lucky man and you should remind him of that!! This will make you laugh - I have had to do the long journey up to treatment twice today to avoid the weather warning and managed to get a hotel room at a great deal for under £50 with a bottle of prosecco deal, robes slippers the lot - except my lovely husband couldn't come up as he is working so I am in the most romantic setting sipping a lovely glass on my own - perfectly describes long term married life!! The lovely wee guy at reception even came across the street to get my case out of the car and carry it up to the room - people are lovely x Hope everyone is keeping cosy and having a good night x
Member
Posts: 1,431
Registered: ‎29-04-2017

Re: September 2017 Chemo Starters

Ooh the holiday retreat sounds good 😊 wouldn't mind one of those x yeah fairy follow your heart 💖
Member
Posts: 364
Registered: ‎14-07-2017

Re: September 2017 Chemo Starters

Fairydust,

big hugs! No one knows how long they are destined to be here on this Earth.  All you can do is live and love each day as if it were your last. Having had breast cancer, you may still have a full long healthy life ahead.  Men tend not to overthink things as much as us women. If he's with you, I would think it's because he wants to be with you! Xxx

CK
Member
Posts: 1,003
Registered: ‎07-08-2017

Re: September 2017 Chemo Starters

Fairydust
Our minds do overthink when going through this very difficult time but your man has stuck around right through and still around so he is for keeps! Even when we are not ill anything can go wrong but its because we lose our confidence losing our hair and the drugs etc. We will see negatives if we let ourselves but we must try our best not to and see the good and positives even if sometbing doesnt go to plan. You must give him reassurance too as that could affect him if you give off negative vibes. Just be yourself and dont think too much into the future. What will be will be but from what I read you have nothing to worry about and hes a keeper.

Dont get me wrong, my mind does wander too and I ended a new relationship when I was diagnosef as I didnt want him to see me go through it all. It was just dating and I didnt want added stress on both sides. Now I'm thinking whether anyone will want to be with me after this, yet Im also thinking that I want to so some travelling once Im well again and dont want to be tied down. So just go with the flow.

The course will help! Ive booked into a moving forward course and planned a holiday retreat which will help my mind. Yoga really helps and calms and relaxation sessions.

We will be fine.xxx

Member
Posts: 1,431
Registered: ‎29-04-2017

Re: September 2017 Chemo Starters

Fairy go with the flow hun and do what is right for you if hes still around hes probably a good one!! I recommend you book yourself on a Maggies where now course i start mine next Friday its for 7 weeks a couple of hours each session think it will be good for me to go and get some much needed confidence i currently have seen a counsellor through Maggies too to help me with my anxiety which started when dad was diagnosed in September and sadly passed 2 weeks later it really magnified my fears for my own future and started a fee anxiety issues for me all of ohr journeys through this process are different and difficult so im not unique in feeling a little fragile you are still in treatment mode im out the other side now by 4 weeks tomorrow!!! I feel like I need to get me back to being fun again as atm im not, being off work during treatment hasn't helped as i have no confidence and am apprehensive about returning so this is why i really need the course!!! Maggies is a bloody Godsend im so grateful for looking after my emotional wellbeing 💖
Cathy hope you have lots of celebrations planned for the big 40 what a lovely surprise that sounded
Goid to hear everyone is doing well 😊
Member
Posts: 494
Registered: ‎15-07-2017

Re: September 2017 Chemo Starters

Oh thanks Chaffinch, I needed calming down. Emotions are so high for me, thanks for being the voice of reason. I'm hoping he has a plan for us. Wish he'd talk to me, but I'll wait. :-)

 

Fairydust x

Member
Posts: 1,076
Registered: ‎12-08-2017

Re: September 2017 Chemo Starters

Possibly Fairydust but don’t be afraid just go with the flow. If it’s meant to be then it will work, try not to overthink it. Sounds good that you both have no children, you only have yourselves to think about. Wishing you lots of future happiness x
Member
Posts: 494
Registered: ‎15-07-2017

Re: September 2017 Chemo Starters

MrsMeow, thanks for your Valentine's thoughts for us. I hope MrMeow has your own very special Valentine message for you, but I sense you don't need a specific day for words of adoration!

 

You know. I've come to realise my desire for a cat is for unconditional love, I want love , hugs, total adoration to me every day for the rest of my life, marriage, the works.

 

Never had this in adult life, but the man in my life may not want the same with me. 

 

What to do!! I've known him a few months before my bc diagnosis, he's kind, caring, texts a lot, won't walk away now, but what if he leaves once I'm "cured"', so he can feel better about not leaving whilst I'm ill. What if it's all in my head? I don't want to scare him away. We've still so much to learn about each other. Properly talk and share, and not just about bc.

 

He's been married before, divorced 10 years now I think. He's 47 this year I think. I will be 49 this year. We neither of us have kids. He still could though! Just not with me of course.

 

I'm so scared I'm into it more than he is. I need him more than I wanted to. Is that love? 

 

Fairydust x