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Re: October 2017 Chemo Starters

Shi brilliant news re your mammo 👍
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Re: October 2017 Chemo Starters

Hi all.
Good news Jencat and Shi 😘
Last weekend I was on a horseback archery course which I absolutely loved! It was amazing!!! Can't wait to do it again.
Hope you're all doing ok and having fun xx
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Re: October 2017 Chemo Starters

Great news Jencat 👍
Shi Community Champion
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Re: October 2017 Chemo Starters

Jencat 👍👍👍👍wonderful news about your mammo 😁😁😁so very pleased for you ❤️❤️❤️Mine came back ok too 👍buddyfan, please put that dragonfly photo you too into countryfile competition it is a stunning photo you captured 💕💕✨✨Shi xx
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Re: October 2017 Chemo Starters

So glad you had a good weekend Jencat - did you give me a wave ?!! And great news about your mammogram too .
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Re: October 2017 Chemo Starters

Thanks for all your support and to Sue for putting my message on the forum. I had a lovely weekend and travelling 1st Class was a bonus! (Had to rough it on the way home though! Smiley Sad) Still felt a bit teary a couple of times, but I had a nice time, despite the roof leaking over my bed at the hotel on Sat night!

Good news-my mammogram was clear Smiley Happy xx

 

 

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Re: October 2017 Chemo Starters

Good to hear that Jencats ok on the train and on her way to see her friends. I'm glad she pulled her Wonder Woman pants up high and was very brave. I wouldn't want any of us to be missing out on stuff now. Just back from a lovely day in Essex with my family. Had a little too much to drink and slept all the way home 😂

 

Buddyfan, hope you're ok and enjoyed your holiday in Cornwall! 

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Re: October 2017 Chemo Starters

That's great Sue - she might as well travel in style !!!
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Re: October 2017 Chemo Starters

Just got this message off Jencat xxx

Would you mind letting forum i'm ok please as i'd said i was anxious about catching train to see friends for weekend-i'm on the train! Yd said how i was feeling to train staff&i'm now in 1st class! Tell jill i'll wave at lancaster! Won't have internet till mon eve (get mammo results then) Thank you xx
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Re: October 2017 Chemo Starters

😘😘😘hi jellytot hope you are doing ok darling, sorry you didn’t make London and hope to see you soon😘😘 thanks for this on the Tn ❤️❤️jencat 👭👭no wonder you’ve been a bit weepy darling, it’s understandable, we I am sure all have the whole finding it and where we were and who with firmly planted in our memories but little steps and building new positive memories is now what’s in order all at your own pace and when you are ready and you’ve been doing that already if you think about the packed few weeks you’ve had you’ve been doing amazing and you should be proud of yourself ❤️❤️👭hi Cassie, hope you are ok 👍😘😘💕💕✨✨Shi xx
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Re: October 2017 Chemo Starters

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Re: October 2017 Chemo Starters

Many of us suffer from post traumatic stress disorder to varying degrees and sometimes certain things trigger a memory that takes us right back to those horrible feelings when first diagnosed .The first mammogram also seems to bring it right back too .I live on the West Coast Mainline about an hour from Carlisle give me a wave when you go past Lancaster !!! They have free films to watch now on Virgin trains now - download the Beam app and you have music tv and films to help distract you .
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Re: October 2017 Chemo Starters

Thank you as well Jill for telling me that anxiety is common after bc because I felt a bit silly, but can't help it, that I was fretting so much x

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Re: October 2017 Chemo Starters

Thank you Jill x No, my friend couldn't meet me because she's already booked onto an earlier train. Feeling a little calmer now and not so tearful, so I'm going to hopefully go as I think I will regret it if I don't. Both my girls have been great and have spoken to my friend for me and explained my anxiety further. YD is going to come up to London with me and then all I've got to do is sit on one train!

I think part of my upset (subconsciously) is that I was with these friends last year when I found my lump. It was my friend from Wales daughter's wedding and my other friends were there too and the morning of the wedding I found the lump whilst in the shower. I didn't mention it to anyone because I didn't want to spoil the wedding and weekend, but because I was there by myself, I told no-one the whole weekend and then travelled home by myself and as YD pointed out to me, we haven't all been together since and the memories have resurfaced and knowing I'm coming home to my yearly appointment with my consultant and to get my mammogram results hasn't helped either x

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Re: October 2017 Chemo Starters

Hello Jencat - don't feel stupid - anxiety is very common after treatment finishes and can be very debilitating .Its not surprising you feel a bit overwhelmed it's quite a lot to deal with - accept your daughters help and break the journey up a bit so it's a bit less overwhelming.The thought of these things is a lot worse than actually doing it - once you are settled on the train to Carlisle you will probably be fine .Can you arrange to meet your friend from Wales at a station en route -Crewe ??
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Re: October 2017 Chemo Starters

Thank you Mishy for your reassuring words and understanding x I think I am too hard on myself and also trying to be strong for my YD and elderly dad. I don't know where all the tears have suddenly come from and now I've started, finding it hard to stop! I don't even know what I'm crying about! And the anxiety-I was fine catching a train to London on Monday, but now I feel anxious about it.

ED has offered to come down from Oxford and meet me off my train from Kent, take me for a coffee and then put me on the train to Carlisle! (My friends will meet me there) Really kind of her, but I feel a bit stupid that I might need her to do that. A big part of me wants to go and I'm sure it would be good for me to get away, but I'm also worried that I will spoil everything for everybody else if I get tearful or can't cope.

The hospital where I had my radiotherapy phoned me this morning to say my counselling can begin next Thursday-funnily I was going to phone them myself this morning to see how soon it would be before I could start as I really want to have had some before I return to work in Sept (another anxiety!) x

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Re: October 2017 Chemo Starters

Jencat i agree do what is right for you i felt more vulnerable after the treatment than when on it as i felt i wasn't recovering as fast as i should have im a little bit ahead of you too i will tell you though this will pass and you will start to feel better gradually everyones recovery is different as some of us respond differently to chemo and some have more troubling se than others be kind to yourself thats some journey if your not 100% i couldn't have done it at yiur stage in recovery don't know uf i could still 👍 hope you are feeling a little better this morning 💖
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Re: October 2017 Chemo Starters

Thank you Cassie xx Unfortunately we can't meet half way this time because my friend from Wales and I are staying with my friend at Carlisle on Friday night and unbeknown to my Welsh friend, her daughter in Scotland is joining us and then a B&B is already booked at the Lake District for the weekend.

I don't know where the tears all came from last night, but I think I'm still vulnerable and I can't cope with too much pressure. I'm probably expecting too much of myself a little too soon xx

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Re: October 2017 Chemo Starters

Hi Jencat. Sending hugs xx
You do what's right for you. Maybe rearrange something with your friend and maybe meet half way so you don't have to travel so far. It's not a bad think to be putting yourself first. Gotta take care of no 1 xx
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Re: October 2017 Chemo Starters

Feeling weepy this evening, it's a bit like the floodgates have opened and now it's a bit difficult to stop! I'm meant to be staying with my friend in Carlisle this weekend to celebrate another close friend's birthday (going Fri-Mon) but it's a long journey from Kent. When we arranged it 6mths ago I was still having chemo and I thought I'd be fine by now. I've still got neuropathy in my feet and fingers and not much stamina and I'm not sure I can do the journey, just the thought of it makes me feel tired! My friend was sweet and said she didn't think I was up to coming and I'll find the weekend tiring as it will be busy, but we'll get together another time and I need to put my health first. I don't think it has helped me mentally that I would be coming back to a consultant's app and my mammogram results. (Had a bit of a scare this morning because the hospital phoned and immediately I thought it must be because of last week's mammogram. My consultant isn't going to be there next Tues now, so the call was to change my app to Monday eve) My head is telling me it's a long way to go, but my heart is telling me that I want to go and see my friends.

ED has offered to drive me some of the way, which is kind of her. If I don't go, she's going to spend some of the weekend with me and said we'll do some nice things together.

Sorry to go on, just feeling a bit sorry for myself and frustrated that I'm not back to how I was pre-bc yet xx