har looks good Sissy! I'm really appreciating my eyelashes too. Even though I kept my hair I had to have it cut short so I'm having to get used to having short hair. when I look in the mirror it's still a bit of a shock! I struggle with my flat chest too. It's ok when I'm dressed but my boobs and my hair were the two parts of my body l liked best!
Doht worry too much about the tamoxifen Sissy. I was dreading starting it and put it off as long as possible, but luckily I've had hardly any side effects. I take it at night which I was advised is the best time.
im sorry younarecfeelng a bit down Kim. It's going to be hard over the next few weeks with anniversaries and breast cancer awareness month coming up. I've got my first routine check up with the surgeon on Monday and when I phoned up to check what time I felt sick just thinking about going back! Too many horrible memories. I think it's quite common for people to suffer from ptsd after cancer treatment and I can understand why! As Sissy said, have you booked onto a moving forward course? I'm doing one with Sissy and Ellie in October and I'm really looking forward to it.
I started beck to my normal work hours this week which I'm really enjoying. We are taking my younger son off to university for the first time this weekend so it's going to be an emotional one! I'm very proud of him for doing so well at a level through such a horrible year!
love to all. We're all still here to support each other,
Sorry about the big picture size!
Hello all, as you can see my hair has thickened out, the curling around the ears is very annoying though, I have my first hair trim booked for two weeks time! I'm now four weeks post my second mx, am back at work for 5hrs a shift, will up it to 6hrs soon. Have started a new role at work, which means no more nights and I now have evenings off. I've been working shifts for the last 10yrs, so I'm enjoying the change and hoping to take up an evening hobby! Mentally I'm not too bad, however it's always at the back of my mind.
Cassie, you're looking fab, enjoy your holiday, it's well deserved. Kim, have you been able to book on to a moving on course? It could help?
how is everyone else getting on with things?
Im meant to start tamoxifen today, feeling a bit apprehensive about it and worried about SE's, think I will wait until Monday and start them on a new week. How do you all get on with it?
Love be to all xx
I too have been thinking about anniversaries, it was a year ago today I had my recall appointment, which resulted in having a bioposy and it's almost a year since I was diagnosed.
I have my mammogram on Wednesday and then a follow up with my oncologist on the 12th Sept. I will be glad once I am past that, trying not to worry about it...I am really busy at work and we fly to Corfu on Mon 19th Sept for a fortnight, so those two things have helped me not to fixate on 'what if'.
I am quite a large lady, I have been trying to lose weight, I have managed just over a stone and a half so far, but really need to lose quite a few more stones to get to a healthier weight. I am determined to be healthier and give myself the best chance.
My hair has begun to thicken now and has grown a bit, I am used to it now and I am even considering sticking with the steely grey! I will be happier once I can get it to look a little more feminine.
I hope that you all keep posting every so often, it is good to keep up to date with everyone's recovery, worries and achievements.
With love from Cassy x
Hi all it's good to hear from everyone. Claire I'm so pleased you've found your horse, hope it is just what you want, Kim and Mechele I'm definitely putting Santorini on my list of places to visit, it sounds like heaven. Sissy it's great that you'll renew your vows in Vegas, v Rock'n'Roll! Ellie, thank goodness you've found a way out of the work situation, although sorry it will be an upheaval. Hope you find something else with nice people soon. I think it's good to be decisive and move on. Elizabeth I'm so sorry you've suffered with skin problems, I hope it all settles down quickly and. Debbie and Cassie hope all going well and recovery continues to be smooth. I agree with everyone that having rubbishy hair is quite liberating, just wash and go has its advantages and saves so much time! I'm going back to work on Monday, have been swimming 30 lengths every other day, and have lost 3lbs so feeling positive! X
Sorry you are struggling Elizabeth. I hope you heal up soon.
You are right about anniversaries coming up. It's exactly a year today that I went to the GP ( at this exact time!) with my breast dimple and the nightmare began. I knew as soon as I saw the doctors face that I wasn't going to get good news. Two weeks later I was at the hospital and was diagnosed on 30th Sept.
I look back and think how the hell did I get though it all. I never ever want to have to do it again!
I'm just about to go and ride the horse I am buying so I'm doing the thing I really love and thinking very positively about the future.
I guess the next month or so will be difficult but THANK GOD we are out the other side,
Love to all
P.S Lookng forward to seeing Ellie and Sissy at the moving forward course. I hope your job hunting goes well Ellie. X
i hope you are all ok. Mechele that's a lovely photo. Well done Ellie on handing in your notice...life's too short to take too much crap. Are you going to be job hunting now? Good luck if you are. Sissy I hope you do manage to renew your wedding vows n Vegas...you must post a pic. We are probably all approaching our first anniversary. I had a mammogram late last September and was recalled mid October...and so it began😩 I finished my rads 3 weeks ago and I am still in a lot of pain. My skin keeps breaking down and I am in my 3rd lot of antibiotics. My boob is swollen and v sore it feels like it could explode. Got appt with consultant later so maybe she will fix me. It has been getting me down because I had wanted to begin to exercise and gain some fitness back. But I've been lying around with my tits out as much as possible letting the air get to it. I thought I would be through this bit by now.
Have a good weekend everyone.
Stunningly beautiful photo! Well done.
I resigned today! So now penniless but happy! Job applications here I come.
No - iPad . Didn't realise I could but above where I'm writing , there's the usual icons showing font sizes, bold text etc etc - saw the picture icon and thought I'd give it a try - voila 😊
So pleased you had a brilliant holiday - we love Santorini and stayed many times there. Our youngest daughter got married there at Santo Winery - the venue and views were breath taking. We had booked for 2 weeks in June , but of course had to cancel due to the BC but no doubt will go back again.
I too have my first mammogram in November 😨, I suppose we may all worry a little that all is ok . I don't wear my wig either, but will probably them for evening when we go away in 3 weeks - sooo looking forward to getting away after the last 10 months events. Sending best wishes to you, and everyone else.
Well done for finally getting to the finish line Fiona. You need to focus on getting well now and put it all behind you. It's all seeming a long way away for me now.in fact it will be a year next week since my first visit to the GP after finding a dimple. What a horrible chain of events that triggered! I feel really good now and I'm daring to hope that all will be well for the future!
I'm glad you are ok Sissy. How lovely to renew your wedding vows. BC certainly tests relationships but I couldn't have got through without my husband there for me. He found it pretty tough too.
B*****y hot here, but I'm loving it!
Evening all. I've completed radiotherapy today, hurrah! I barely slept last night, I was so excited to be finishing treatment, and so I'm completely exhausted today, but happy. My daughter has made a cake and lots of flowers have appeared.
I need to regain my fitness. I tried a bit of yoga yesterday and was horrified by how feeble I've become. Today I did some Pilates and went swimming - only managed about 10 lengths, I'm thinking I need to increase it gradually, but goodness I've got a long way to go. No wonder I've put on about 8 lb. Time to make some good habits.... Hope everyone else is having a good day and gradually getting back to normal. We can do know it! Lots of love to all. XX
im glad you are ok Sissy and that everyone is dong well. Sorry to hear work not good Ellie. When you have been through the c***p we have it's just not worth putting up with problems like that!
As for bucket lists. My new mantra is to enjoy every good day I have. I don't know what's round the corner, but at the moment I feel really well so I'm getting out and enjoying life!
i appreciate little things much more too. Just putting on mascara again after losing my eyelashes and being able to walk and exercise without feeling exhausted are wonderful! And - I'm having my hair coloured on Wednesday! The onc says it's fine as I have very strong thick hair. Can't wait!!
So on my bucket list:
buy a new horse (I'm looking!)
Have the Caribbean holiday I had to cancel because of effing bc (planned for next year after recon)
go skiing ( another holiday I missed because of chemo)
do things more spontaneously and grab opportunities when they arise
lose a stone
spend more time with family and friends
but above all stay as healthy and happy as I can and NEVER take life for granted again!!
love to all
I don't know about bucket list but I am enjoying feeling fitter every day! Garden is starting to look like someone lives here...
I have just started looking for a new job as things at work at unbearable. Maybe a new start is what I need. After all the challenges, I never thought returning to work would be one of them!
Hi Elizabeth - pleased your rads finished also and doing ok - hope no s/e from Tamoxifen . I've now had 2 1/2 months of the dreaded Letrozole - first 4 weeks fine, the horrible 'morning sickness despite taking the Domperidome. On Onc review, he advised to take it at night instead of a morning, which is better than before, but seems any alcohol ( very small glass ) seems to affect it 😨- oh well, prob 5 yrs of being T T .
Hope you got home quickly Sissy and feeling more comfortable . Hope you're getting waited on and taking it easy. Best wishes to everyone else - haven't we all come such a long way since being diagnosed and all the fears that came with it !!!! Sending best wishes to all , Mechele.
Ps Elizabeth, you could always borrow some of my grandchildren - have 13 to date , but max will no doubt be 14 - that's enough don't you think - Xmas is EXPENSIVE !!
Hi ladies. Good to hear everyone making good progress and that sissy's op went well. I finished rads yesterday so that's another milestone passed. Have started tamoxifen and continuing with herceptin until February. I did a bucket list when I was first diagnosed and I need to start ticking things off. Cocktails at the Shard and art classes are the first things I am going to tackle. Becoming a grandma might be a little tricky...my children are only 20 and 17...so I am thinking long term here 😊. Anyone else got a bucket list? Take care everyone. Elizabeth💕
Great news Sissy I'm so glad that you are through the surgery. Rest plenty and make sure you don't try to do things too soon (that is usually my downfall) . I hope that you are not feeling too uncomfortable today. Just keep taking the pain relief.... I'm just off to my 14/20 radiotherapy appt. Looking forward to it being finished, it's been uneventful so far, my skin has just started to look a bit tanned. X
We're all thinking of you Sissy, and hoping all goes well and that the drain comes out as soon as possible. Take it easy and recover well. It's a bit weird, but I must say I absolutely love the tea and toast they bring you in hospital after surgery, for some reason it always tastes like the most delicious thing ever, it's probably the relief! X
Sissy, I belatedly want to say that I agree with everything everyone else has said, especially that I agree with all the great advice to you and to agree that we all feel the same way at times with the dark thoughts. I don't think we'll every stop worrying that we'll get secondaries or some other horrible thing. This has been a wonderful group and a great comfort because no one else really gets it and our loved ones are having to deal with difficult feelings themselves so can't be expected to support us in the same way that we can help each other.
I'm over half way though the radiotherapy now. So far it's been fine. I'm only 5 minutes from the hospital and mostly have my appointment first thing in the morning. I have been surprised to feel really emotional during the treatment on some days and quite cheerful on other days with no apparent pattern!
I'm struggling a bit with the children all been on holiday it means there's much more cooking, washing and generally clearing up and also taxi ing them and their friends around TBH I'll be glad when they're all back at school and I can vegetate for a week and just gather myself together before I go back at work properly in September. Love to you all. Fiona XX
Hi everyone, I agree with you Kim, this is a good place to come to when we need support as we are all pretty much at the same stage in recovery and totally understand all the feelings we are experiencing.
My fingernails have nearly all broken halfway down, but are already growing back. I thought I had managed to keep hold of my toe nails but I tripped up the stairs, caught my big toe and the nail cracked and fell off. Not particularly attractive now when I wear my sparkly sandals!
Im also exercising daily and trying to eat as healthily as I can. I have had just had an indulgent weekend as I had family staying so it's back on the straight and narrow from today! It's a question of getting the balance right and enjoying life but doing everything possible to reduce recurrence odds.
Good luck with your op this week Sissy. My second mx was less traumatic than the first and less sore as they didn't take any nodes out. I'll. It will be good to get it over with.
i hope everyone else is ok,
Sissy, I hope your pre-op went well and you're all set for Thursday - sending you loads of love and good luck for a speedy recovery afterwards I definately have times when I feel like you do about re-occurance and whether they've managed to zap any stray cells. I was pretty shocked when my oncologist wanted me to take bisphosphates daily to guard against re-occurance in the bones - it brought back to me the seriousness of it all, but I guess I have to be thankful there are things I can take to help, and the majority of the time, I don't really think about it. I did send a request to join the facebook group, but nothing came of it, which is probably for the best. I'm on Facebook alot of the time and I try to use it as a positive thing - seeing photos and comments that make me laugh or smile - anyone who posts negative things all the time gets hidden!! So for me the best place to come for support is on here, plus I like to catch up with you guys to see how you're all getting on - I see you all as friends after what we've all gone through and the amazing support we gave each other. Plus I want to continue to support you all during our shaky times too! (Hope that makes sense!)
I think my hair must be the same length as your Mechele! I love the feel of it, but like you, wish it would speed up growing! I'm desperate to get it coloured and ditch the wig!!
2 of my nails have split and peeled off to about 1/3 the way down now. I'm surprised how much this didn't hurt!! I'm quite squeamish about my nails, but it hasn't been as bad as I imagined. My eyebrows are back - could do with having them neatened up now, and my eyelashes are definately thickening up now too
I bought a Nutribullet the other day and I'm blasting spinach, bananas and various other fruits to boost my vitamin intake which hopfully will work wonders on my energy levels and hair and nail growth!! Keeping up with my daily walking and I'm hoping to start yoga again in an attempt to reduce the stiffness and aches and pains the Anastrozole is causing!!
Off to Cardiff tomorrow with my son to see if the house he's renting with friends for the next year has been cleaned to a decent standard and the window that he opened last week (when he was supposed to move in) and fell out into the street below has been replaced - luckily it didn't land on anyone!! I have a feeling we're going to be disappointed!
Hope you've all had a good weekend
Hi everyone, such a glorious day and so good to see the sun shining, doors open etc.
Hope everyone doing ok and having a good weekend.
Claire, hope you've had an excellent weekend with the family over, despite lots of cooking, seeing the photo, your hair is looking good - certainly been worth 'cold capping' for you. Just wish mine would speed up a bit , it's about 1.1/2 cms now !!!!
Sending best wishes to everyone , Mechele x
Hi Sissy, just thinking about you and hope all went well with your pre op - sure it will have done. I'm sorry you're feeling so worried and anxious , I'm sure like others have said, that we all have some degree of the worry of the future - a lot of negative comments can certainly have an impact on us. Hopefully you may feel more positive after your surgery.
Sending best wishes and hugs
Love Mechele. X X
Hi sissy. Hope your appt went well. We have to find a way of dealing with the anxiety and it sounds as though you need someone to talk to. Could you access some counselling? I would think hubbie is clinging to what the professionals say because it's how he can deal with it. They are the ones who know what they're doing but I'm sure we all wonder if they have got it wrong sometimes. I would think it's harder for you to really move forward when you have more surgery ahead of you. At my last onc appt I asked whether it was really necessary for me to take tomoxifen because I want to get back to how I was before bc and I don't like the thought of taking it for the next 10 years. He said that I have to accept that this is the new normal for me. I expect we are all now trying to accept our new normal. Don't give yourself a hard time over feeling how you do. Ellie gave some good advice...and get help if you need it to manage your anxiety. Love and hugs. Elizabeth x
It is easier when you are busy and distracted from it, but I am also trying to live by the philosophy that I feel really well right now, I don't know what the future may hold, but I should enjoy every good day I have.
Dr M copied me onto her letter after my appointment on Mobday and it was really positive saying I looked really well and there were " no clinical signs of recurrence" I'm going to try to think of that when I have a wobble!
i hope everyone else is doing ok. It's good to have this to come to when we need to touch base with others who really understand.
ive got the in laws staying this weekend do lots of cooking!
enjoy the warm weather,
i certainly have moments like that! I don't think we would be human if we didn't. I have stayed away from things on the internet that pull me down! It's very easy to find them! We have a cancer support group at work but the leader told me not to come - I was doing so well that I would come off worse if I mixed with that group!!
I like to to think I am a strong person but when the breast surgeon said I was okay yesterday I cried! It was obviously on my mind more than I would admit.
Sissy I think your anxiety is all connected to it coming back? These thoughts might not help at all, but if one helps a little bit I will be glad!
What can you do to reduce the chances? Personally I could lose weight and take more exercise but the rest of my lifestyle is pretty good eg loads of fruit and veg, no smoking.... Can you throw your energy into something positive? I have one friend who decided raw food was the way forward for her and threw everything at doing that. Drove her family mad but it was positive energy!
If if you can't reduce the chances then does worrying do any good? It is good if it makes you turn up for check ups!
Share your worries. Talk to a counsellor or a friend. Sometimes a partner is too close and also desperately worried about you. Your gp should be able to help. I give myself good advice all the time and sometimes it helps and some times I'm too worried to take it!
Do you believe in God? I know some people find it a help when they are pushed beyond their limits to take it to the Lord in prayer. Sometimes that can bring peace.
I wish I could do something to help but I know in my moments when I haven't thought I could cope just knowing there are people on this site who understand and send sympathy has really helped.
I hope you find something that works for youso you can start enjoying things again. Lots of love.
I see the breast surgeon on Wednesday and then the oncologist in September. Bit worried I am still so out of breath it stops me doing things but probably still getting better. I tried some decorating this week - first time this year I have felt motivated!
Thanks fir for the good wishes about my work situation folks. I am writing applications but don't really want to leave! I am sure it will all work out in the end.
Sorry to hear you have to take more medication Kim, but as you say, if it stops the damn thing from returning it's worth it!
my nails have nearly all broken off too, but they are already growing back and quite honestly Im not that bothered about my nails. I'm really happy to have eyelashes again and love being able to use mascara!
I hope everyone else's follow up appointments go ok. I've got surgeon in September and the onc said she or him will see me every three months for two years, then it will be six monthly until I'm signed off completely. Fingers crossed that's what happens! I will also be referred to the plastic surgeon and hopefully have reconstruction next summer.
Hi everyone , good to hear from you Fiona and hope rads progress uneventfully. Good re just arthritis ( presumably osteo ).
Claire - look forward to hear your review went well.
Debbie - wonder if you too have braved being without your wig. My two are in the cupboard for now, however, think I may take then on hols for evenings when out for dinner, but may be too hot and won't bother !!
Hope everyone else ok, and work situation settles for you Ellie
love and best wishes to all, Mechele.
Ps - having a restful day today. Yesterday, had my sons little boy aged 2 and my daughters little girl aged 2.1/2. Although they play well together, oh boy, wish I had their energy for sure. They left at 7pm, having had tea, bathed and in pjs ready to go straight to bed - ha I too felt like going straight to bed too 😂
I am really sorry to hear that you're having a tough time at work. I have been fortunate to able to work from home quite a bit, but when I do go in the office, it does feel a bit different, when you haven't been around for quite a while...so I understand what you mean, I think we must be less resilient.
No matter how many nice supportive people there are around you it only takes one person to make you feel less confident and miserable. I think that's why I got into a whirlwind of worry over my tablets. I think we have been through enough without people being awkward or nasty, I am sure others will see what is happening at work and be supportive to you. I hope things improve for you soon xxxxx
From Cassy x
Morning all. I've been off for a while, had a lovely holiday in Tenerife, and have started radiotherapy. I have to have four weeks of treatment, and have only just started. Ellie I'm so very sorry to hear about your work situation. It sounds awful. I hope you can find a way to handle it. I think I would just want to leave if it didn't get better quickly. I haven't got much patience any more and only want to have positive experiences!
Lovely picture Cassy. Nice to hear that everyone seems to be recovering well. Hope the lymphoedema is under control in this hot weather.
I still ill have pain in my hips and back. I'm still worrying that I've got bone mets but don't see the Dr again until 18th August. On the phone they said my X Ray showed arthritis so hopefully that's all it is. Never thought I'd be pleased to get arthritis!
lots of love to you all. X