Oh dear ladies we certainly seem to be going through it at the moment one way or another. This bc is total💩.
Nettienoo rant away all you want😤😠. I can't believe the hospital told you everything was fine when it clearly wasn't . To be told on the day you're due chemo that it can't go ahead and has to be cancelled until next week is the pits especially when you have something planned to look forward to. Isn't that what we're advised to do? Is there any chance that your final session could be delayed until after your visit to see Carmen? May be worth asking.
Oh Rosina how I feel for you. Those sudden outbursts are awful. My poor husband gets the full barrage every time even though he's not done or said anything wrong. The only explanation I have is that we spend so much time putting on a brave face and pretending that everything is normal, when it clearly isn't, that we simply lose it and explode. On the plus side you have made me feel almost normal.
One good thing is that we'll have Dibley for a few days from Thursday and he is the ideal dog to have around when feeling stressed. He loves to be stroked and has a calming temperament. Heaven☺ He'd make an excellent therapy dog.
Sandraindurham the Miner's Hall looks interesting. When going around old buildings or towns we always say "Look up" as there is usually something of intererest high on the walls or ceilings or roof tops.
Hope everyone feels better as the day goes on. More sunshine would help🌞. xxxxxx
Right my lovely girls, I need a rant.....
When I was discharged from Wolverhampton hospital on Friday the doc discharging me told me my blood counts from the blood taken that morning were fine and could see no reason why I couldn’t have chemo 5 today. This morning, just as my friend and I were due to set off for the chemo unit at Cannock, I get a phone call telling me that because my white blood cell count is only 2 point something my Oncologist won’t let me have chemo and it is to be delayed for a week. (Now booked in for next Tuesday 11th). I have no idea whose blood results the chap had been looking at on Friday but they don’t appear to have been mine. What a complete idiot. It does explain why it’s taking me so long to recover from being ill last week.
This now means that my final chemo even if on schedule 3 weeks after chemo 5, will be too close to our planned visit to see Carmen at the Royal Opera House so will have to cancel. (I know that’s not anyone’s fault but I thought we would be still able to go even with previous delays until today.) Sorry girls for the grumpy post but if I hadn’t had a rant I would have burst into tears instead. Xxx
Thanks for the good wishes Trixielady.
I have just eaten a whole pot of organic Yeovil raspberry yogurt ( which I love) and it has hit the spot. Good acid/ palate cleansing taste.
Thanks for the photos Sandraindurham, the building and decor look great.
Anything to distract me from feeling sorry for myself helps.
Just so fed up with myself, staying in bed.
I love this it made me tear up:
Hope the link works 💕
Morning lovely ladies
Rosina, its awful how you felt but hopefully you will feel better soon big hugs xx
Edinbird hope day goes well xx Hoping your Dad is doing OK? and your friend gets the help he really needs xx
Sandraindurham, Durham is a fantastic place, we love the Chinese down on the Riverside, thinking about you both xx
Marlyn hope rads are going well and don't leave any permanent redness on
Ocean21 have you had uncontrollable
diarrhoea on Taxol??? Hope you feel much better now you've told family, its so hard trying not to worry them xx
Implausibele how are you feeling a bit better I hope, it must be very worrying for you about how your youngest is coping, my is 29 this year and this last week he's here every turnabout not sure if its for me or him unfortunately this has been a really bad week for me and obviously him but he hasn't said a word its scary!!
MBJ, hope your feeling better so you can really enjoy that well deserved cruise xx
Deano thinking about you xx
Sonia28 big hugs xx
SusieB big hugs xx
Seaside sar how are you? Please baby lexi is feeling better xx
Nettienoo so pleased your daughter is feeling better less stress for you hopefully xxx
Ladies if I've missed anyone I'm so sorry
I'm at chemo today and just found out my friend has spine cancer and collar bone after being misdiagnosed xxxx
catching up with all the posts.
Edinbird good luck with today’s #6 ☘️☘️☘️
Implausible, Nettinoo , Marlyn and Sonia28 good luck with your Hospital appointments .
Seasidesar thanks for posting all the lovely pics. They made me feel better.
Yesterday was a write off for me.
Hollered at everyone, in one big rant at lunchtime.
H1 thankfully missed it, it was the kids and my mum who where on the receiving end.
My daughter told me I was out of order at the end of the day when H1 had returned- which was correct- so today I have apologised to everyone and we are all back on track.
Thing is everyone is trying their best and I was aching and highly irritated. So I did one of my rants ( which exhausts me even more) and does not solve anything. So still lots of patience required on my end.
Cant taste nothing, farting off re- commenced at night, hardly ate much and then this morning woke up feeling less achy but starving.
Seasidesar’s Breakfast photos resulted in me asking for an omelette which H1 made and that made me all emotional because everyone is doing their best to look after me.
Allowed myself to get tearful and then I felt faint (x2) so 3 tablespoons fulls of honey later (administrated to me by H1 , like a kid) now with my feet up , on my sofa.
Strong coffee, staying on sofa for a bit longer . Hopefully I will get out for a walk later.
It’s hard when you have been a strong person to then become so weak.
This too shall pass.
Love to all 💕
Just caught up properly with the recent posts, there's so many of them that yesterday I only had time to give out ❤❤❤❤ in the end.
Implausible, hope they manage to get some bloods from you. Yes, Nairobi is a bit far away🌍.
Nettienoo, fingers firmly crossed🤞that your 5th session goes ahead today.
Marlyn, had a look at Snapchat and can see how it suits your sense of humour. Silly but fun😂.
Sandraindurham glad to hear from you, just wish things would hurry up and improve for both you and Veronica.
Deano and Stargazer1 hope you're both ok. I know you don't pop in often but I still think about you both.
Daisydi, you mentioned the other day that your dogs are very fussy about who they go for walks with, hence the mobility scooter. We're looking after our neighbour's dog, Dibley, again and he always comes with a packet of cocktail sausages as he will put the anchors down on occasion and refuse to walk with one of us sometimes. He's also been known to want to do a different walk to the one planned and you can't exactly pick him up and carry him! Hence the sausages, he'll do anything to get one.
MJB, hope your cruise ship has a better driver than the one that had the accident in Venice. Mind you to be fair I don't think it was entirely his fault🚢.
Sorry I can't mention you all. I'd never get out of bed. Have a good day everyone. xxxxx
Hope your final chemo session goes ok today☺. Onwards to the next stage. The gifts you have bought for the hospital staff look lovely, very thoughtful.
Take care. xx
You girls are really struggling and being attacked from everywhere!
I will comment the best I can, just had a quick read, but... by Jove, you are really fighting the good fight!
Sorry for being away, it is not because I don't miss you or think about you all everyday, but I was just dumb-mumbling for a few days
I collapsed! Bam!
I have never recovered completely, I had an entire year with a kidney leaking pus and ongoing sepsis, and in the end I was really frail, plus daughter breast cancer, plus financial issues, plus struggling to do everything on my own... something had to give up.
V is still in a very poor shape, started with Letrozole, because it is the best option for lobular breast cancer and she will start rads soon.
She already has her tatoos but her hair is coming out!
sorry to hear it has'nt been a good few days, good luck with number 6 tomorrow.
Daisydi, I've lost all my eye lashes, so are now sporting individual false ones now, they have made me feel much better about myself, vain I know but every little helps. I can still feel my spots around my neck area, but nothing as bad as last time, so I do feel for you.
Seaside Sar, your pictures look lovely, glad you had a lovely time. your breakfast looked lush.
Marilyn, i love snapchat, I'm always sending the picture to the kids when I'm bored. One of my friends post BC recommend Aloe vera gel for after radiotherpy, so just ordered some from body shop.
Susie, Somerset was lovely when we drove through it yesterday, we also have rain in Plymouth today, although it did brighten up fro a few hours this afternoon.
Nettinoo, glad your home and are feeling better. Fingers crossed for number 5 tomorrow.
Rosina, Hope your are feeling okay today, I loved all your photos.
Implausible, I'm aslo feeling a lot more tired this time round, and had to have asleep a few days this week. You are a very talented lady.
Trixielady, hope your feeling alright xx
Deano, I hope you are doing okay xx
MJB, can't wait to hear about your cruise, not long now, hopefully all the side effects will have calmed down by then.
Ocean, glad it went okay with the kids, It was the hardest thing I had to do teling them. I lost my mum to cancer at 21, but wasnt told she had cancer ( I was living away in London) so I promised myself I would never keep anything from my children, but everyone has different experences, and what works for your family. I did wait to tell my eldest to come home from uni so I could do it face to face. I am sure it has been a big weight off your mind xxxx
Sandra, I hope you and Sandra are ok.
I'm feeling a little fed up at the moment, I had enough of not been able to walk far without being puffed out. My legs are really swollen again, and now its painful to walk. I am at the hospital everyday apart from Friday, which I could do without.
Im seeing the oncologist tomorrow, bloods Tuesday, Chemo fingers crossed Wednesday, then genetics Thursday.
I also breast fed all 3 of mine, I generally eat healthy, my weigh has yo yo'd over the years but dont smoke and live a healthy life style( not brilliant atm). When I give my breastfeeding talks, I'll be checking out the reduced chances of breast cancer. I feel like I've been giving out false info for years.
applogisies if I have forgotten anyone xx
Wishing everyone a good week ahead.
Hi all, sorry this will be a quickie as I haven't had the best of days. I'll reply properly another time.
Edinbird good luck tomorrow for #6 and I hope your dad is ok and friend too
Everyone else I'll just have to give you a sweeping "hope you are all ok" for now!
Oh and I can recommend Rocketman if you need a good weep. I took myself off to see it this afternoon as I felt so down, and it did the trick, I bawled my eyes out and felt much better for it!
Bloods tomorrow morning which is going to be a performance. There is literally one doctor at the hospital who can get blood out of me. They have even called him in on his day off before after everyone else had tried and failed. Tomorrow he is in Nairobi! Might be a bit far to call him in..... :/
Night all. I'm hoping to be in a better mood tomorrow
Thanks Daisy xx Dad is in the Paget, hopefully he’ll be out before you next go in! It’s 15 degrees here apparently but I’m just sweating like it’s tropical. Between that and being upset about my friend I probably need to drink all night to get my veins up to scratch! My husband says I stink too but I think it’s from sweat nothing else 😝
Here are the presents they are already packed...
Chocolates and hand cream stuff for the massage lady
Selection of sweets, chocolate, biscuits, oat cakes, tea, coffee and hot chocolate for the nursing team. Plus some gluten egg milk wheat free and vegan Rocky Road bites just in case - when you have a coeliac member of staff you get good at picking treats!
Glad you enjoyed your break in Norfolk Sar. It is so so hot here today. Ive just walked into my conservatory and it is still 30 degrees. Far too hot for me and my spots. Ive got sore tips of fingers and toes again. Think I had that last time. Dont think its neuropathy as they are not numb but they are burny! Also have itchy eyelids which may mean that I am going to lose the rest of my lashes very soon. Dont want that to happen but hey ho.
Edinbird you are the first in the gang to do number 6. Wishing you so much luck for tomorrow. Im not sure what to do about gifts for nurses as there are so many of them and I have never had the same one. Hope your dad is ok. Hooray for your last chemo xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Love to everyone else. Glad you are feeling better Nettie x
Oh and I have just had to cover myself in insect repellant. I absolutely stink but I am so paranoid about being bitten cos believe it or not I react to those too and I am so fearful of lymphodema.
Sorry you've had a rubbish few days. Why does everything seem to happen at the same time? Hope your friend gets the help he needs and that your Dad is OK.
I did see the sinkhole but didn't fall in 😅 They had covered it over by the time we left yesterday but it was causing a bit of a human traffic jam in the high street.
Hope your treatment goes well tomorrow. Last one! Woohooo!!
Sorry for the silence. Been having a stressful couple of days, my bestie is having the hardest time with his depression and other troubles and I’ve been either trying to cheer him up or panicking when he’s been quiet. It’s so hard trying to help when he just wants to sit alone and not see anyone or talk in person or online. I’m hoping he can get some help he knows he needs it but he’s frightened of getting turned away.
Night sweats returned even before I took today’s steroids... had a huge hot flush in Sainsbury’s too and so came home and had a nap whilst I still felt tired. Then just spoke to my mum to find out my dad is in hospital... nothing to do with his prostate cancer thank goodness but probably diverticulitis and he’s being kept in overnight. He’s not allowed to eat or drink and has been in pain 24 hours so he doesn’t even get the perks.
Not really spent much time thinking about tomorrow’s treatment - 6 and out!! Assuming all is well... got presents for the nurses and the lady who massages my feet before I slid my way out of the supermarket.
Sar I’m glad you had a lovely time in my lovely home county and you didn’t fall into the sinkhole did you hear?
I have sore toenails and fingernails today, I guess the toenails will do what they want to do but really ought to deal with the fingernails and paint them tonight.
Good luck for tomorrow too Nettie and Marlyn for less sore rads 🤞 everyone feel better lots of hugs and love xxxx
Well hellooooo everyone,
Got back from Sheringham yesterday. What a nice place! Visited the park (massive gardens), sat on the beach, chilled in various tearooms, ate in bistros and visited some friends in Overstrand. Felt like I'd been away for ages. Oh, and I had a cheeky curry last night. Couldn't wait until after my last chemo like I was meant to. Anyway no ill effects so no harm done...other than the small matter of piling on an extra half a stone during the last fortnight and no doubt the Indian food has contributed to that.
Oh, the eyebrows conversation made me chuckle. Mine are really hit and miss too. Went out the other day with some badly drawn ones I can tell you. I've also noticed my eyelids are drooping. Anyone else or is it just me?
Nettie, so glad you're feeling better. Hope #5 goes ahead as planned. Good to hear your daughter is recovering well too.
Ocean, telling my kids was one of the worst things I've ever had to do. I felt so bad. I'm glad they know but the initial conversation is not something I ever want to repeat, so I totally get where you're coming from.
Marlyn, radiotherapy sounds like it needs a good kick up the wotsit. You poor thing. Hope you get on better with the new potions. Looks like we'll be keeping Aveeno in business between all of us.
Everyone else, hope you're all doing OK today.
Have a good Sunday.
Some pics of my trip to Norfolk below.
Glad your feeling better nettienoo, I do hope everything goes well tomorrow....I'm always amazed at how much a body can take, I crawled into some of those chemo sessions thinking how on earth will I get through this one? Surely it will kill me??? But...somehow from somewhere I got through them, that was until the onco stopped them because my side effects were in danger of becoming permanent!!
susie....the app is Snapchat.....my niece got me on it, you can do silly videos that change your appearance and voice, and with a bald head it's hilarious! I wanted to post a silly video to you all on here...
i love you all.....just remember that....I loved you all at the beginning and I shall continue to love you all forever.....and that's a threat! Xxxx
Hope you all managed to enjoy the good weather yesterday🌞, bit different today though🌫🌨☔☹. Well in Somerset anyway. I'm feeling much happier today. Simply talking to you wonderful people yesterday helped. Like the saying goes it's good to talk.
Nettienoo, glad to hear both you and your daughter are both recovering well. Fingers crossed 🤞that you're good to go for your next session tomorrow.
Implausible, Peggy looks really sad and so alone. I feel sorry for her. She has got nice eyebrows though☺.
Marlyn, I'd love to know about the app that had you in stitches yesterday.
Be back later for a catch up. Hope those of you who haven't posted for a while are ok. Thinking of you all. xxxxx
I’m finally catching up with posts and I have to say you girls have really made me chuckle this morning. The eyebrows convo was hilarious. 😂. I’m feeling better today. Temp and tum behaving. Just have zero energy. My blood counts are good so hoping chemo 5 can go ahead tomorrow. My daughter is recovering well from her hysterectomy and just managing on ibuprofen and paracetamol. I’m going to see her in a bit (finally) but we have been FaceTiming. I breast fed my kids, ate healthily, kept weight down and have always kept fit at gym. Also have no breast cancer in the female members of my very large extended family. In fact no cancer of any description in the family. So yes, just bad luck. Barrying sucks doesn’t it?
Sending my love to everyone. Looks like a few people are very quiet at moment. I hope you are ok. Love you all.
Ps Implausible, Peggy popped into a dream I had at the hospital. She was very nice but definitely sad! Xx
Finished reading ‘The House of Spirits ‘ by Isabel Allende.
Excellent final part , distracting me from my aches.
Then re- watched
‘Nae Pasaran’ on bbc iplayer about the Scottish Workers of East Killbride , that had the Hawker Hunter engines blacked so that they couldn’t fly back to Chile to support the regime there.
Excellent documentary, worth watching Nae Pasaran: www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0002wsm via @bbciplayer
Hope everyone is having as good a weekend as possible
Rosina that is such a gorgeous photo of you and the place you visited looks lovely
I've done very little today as feeling super tired
But I did finish Peggy
Poor sad Peggy
Night night all. I'm hoping to sleep better tonight than last, then maybe tomorrow I'll have some energy. Fingers crossed.
PS I didn't realise that breast feeding was supposed to "protect" us from breast cancer. Well it didn't work for me either then as I fed all of mine until they were at least 6 months
Rosina, like you, I breast fed, ate well, exercised, never smoked, never overweight and still got bc. When I asked the onc what caused it the answer basically was I don't know. I think that's why for many of us the diagnosis comes as such a huge shock. Do everything right and still get it. It sucks.☹
Funny old thing Daisydi, we had steak too, preceeded with a rather nice rose wine which hubby bought back from m and s yesterday for me☺. On the hair front I lost most of mine on the top of my head and the sides. Although it's growing back I've got the possibility of losing it again as I am very likely to have more chemo after surgery☹. Fully intend to cold cap again. Perhaps with thinner hair I may get to keep more. Fingers crossed🤞 xxx
Rosina you look lovely in that photo. Its such a shame when you have cold capped all the way through but still lost hair on the top. I have really been lucky in the hair department as I really have had no significant hair loss but it looks a right mess as it needs cutting and Im still frightened to go to the hairdressers just in case it all falls out in her scissors. So now its long enough for me to tie back. I guess I am just very lucky and I am very fussy when the cold cap goes on and it is excruciatingly tight but saying that I have had every side effect with both drugs so I guess that balances it out. I managed to drink my shake today so hopefully I can build myself up again for the next one. Hope you dont get too bad tomorrow.
Susie chin up and have that glass of wine. Im having one tonight with my steak x
Hi Susie B
typing this from my bed.
I have cold capped all the way through ( 1 more to go) but I was unable to save all of my hair ( the crown is fuzz/bald). The fringe keeps growing and is brown/grey. The back of my head is also apparently OK ( according to daughter).
I used to pull it all under my headscarf and do a wee Willie Winky look but without pjs on it probably looked naff.
I didn’t get any wigs.
I am envious of my mother’s thick hair at 79 🤪
As Ocean21 said , thought I did all the right things ( breast fed both kids 9-10 months each of them) ate healthy , exercised , didn’t smoke.
So you get bc for the hell of it.
Mum eats and continues to eat junk ( no porridge for her this morning), minimal fruit and vegetables ( although that is improving because of me now) smoked, didn’t breast feed (couldn’t).
Housework was her exercise and walking.
We had a good day today- no arguing.
She leaves on Tuesday, irritating as she can be I will miss her .
My worst day should be tomorrow (after T if the same pattern repeats) but she said don’t expect it and it won’t be. So there.
I sometimes call her ‘the Oracle’ but only to my daughter- who grins.
My daughter is like the Cheshire Cat in ‘Alice’
Food wise yesterday it was snickers for dinner- my body wanted sugar . Only ginger biscuits tasted normal!
Back on the soup today. Pea and mint.
Hope everyone is doing their best.
Love you all.
Who knew that eyebrows could cause so much needed amusement🤣🤣. I'm having a bit of a downer today, we all seem to get them at one time or another, so just going to ride it out and hope for a better tomorrow. It think it's probably due to the break between chemo and surgery and now I've got too much thinking time. What about this? What if? Was I right to book next year's holiday so soon? etc,etc. Must remember my mantra "One step at a time". Chemo. Surgery. Chemo. Rads plus anything else after that.
Back to the eyebrows I have a problem too and I can't focus close up due to cataract surgery and yes reading glasses do get in the way somewhat. My only saving grace us that I still have some brow so have a line to follow.
Who asked about Judy? I think that's predictive text having a laugh again😂🤣. Perhaps you could enlighten us Marlyn.
Lovely photos Rosina and I'm jealous of your fringe. Mine only sees the light of day in the evening if it's lucky as it is somewhat thin. Otherwise it's one of my two wigs, Cagney and Lacey or one of my bought fringes with headwear. Talking of hair the Manta hairbrush gives quite a good head massage, and is especially good when head is itching due to regrowth, also does make the hair appear a little thicker. Hubby commented this morning that my hair resembled a teenage urangatang rather than a baby one. He does find young urangatangs endearing☺.
Sonia28 guess you'll be passing by my neck of the woods later as you journey along the A303. Will it ever get fully duelled🤔?
Hope everyone who's not feeling great get better soon.
Enjoy the rest of the weekend everybody .xxxxx
Now where's that glass of wine hubby promised me🍷
neither can I draw a left eye brow 🥴
My solution is to use clear eye brow gel on both brows and then dapple my daughter’s tiniest eyeshadow brush through both using whatever product ( I know it’s always mahogany eye shadow) still remains on the brush.
When I actually dipped the brush in the eyeshadow I picked up too much product and ended up looking like a demented raccoon (I had to remove the lot) , daughter could not stifle her chuckle.
I am taking a leaf out of Seasidesar fringe look though, as I still have hair at the front and it looks ok when I do blush and lippy. Sitting in the shade also helps 🤪
I drove myself and Mum over to Nymans Gardens special for the rose garden. We did a good shuffling from bench to bench. I could have happily stayed a bit longer under the wisteria.
Mouth tastes blah!!!
Trouble is Im right handed and at the moment I cant see so have to wear some cheap reading glasses and they are in the way! Never mind sisters they look like second cousins once removed. I have to laugh too as I am rubbish at make up and it amuses me how ridiculous I look x Just cut the grass big achievement!
Hi ladies, just a quick catch up as
just picking the eldest up from Portsmouth.
You have made me chuckle this morning, there’s always one eye brow that’s better than the other 😂
MJB, hope your feeling better soon.
Marilyn, sorry to hear about sore boob area
will catch up properly later XX
@Susie B wrote:
Just remember sisters not twins is what we were told on our LGFB regarding eyebrows. xx
If I can get mine looking like they are roughly the same species, I'm happy
MBJ I hope you feel better soon! So hard to tell isn't it what is down to just a normal poorly spell and what is side effects....
Just remember sisters not twins is what we were told on our LGFB regarding eyebrows. xx
Daisy, sorry but that me giggle! Never mind though, am sure no one will notice...you will Judy have to look like your doing a roger Moore impression! Xxx
Oh I do hope it's not the letrozole mbj, but then again it does take a few weeks to settle in, you will have to keep us posted...
i have just just discovered a silly app that does silly videos, I'm going to try and post one of myself singing a song in the hope that it will bring a giggle or two....or perhaps you'll all think I've finally lost the plot......you decide........lol x
Glad to hear you are home Nettienoo. Well I have been feeling a bit crappy for a the last two days. Some dizziness, nausea and a bit of an upset Tummy if you know what I mean. Pushed myself yesterday as I had coffee out with girl friends in the morning and then a meal with friends last night. Struggled with both really. Slept all night so I hoped I would feel better this morning. But still a bit 🤮. So quiet day today. Hope it's something that will just go away and not side effects of the Letrozole raising it's ugly head. Two weeks today I will be on the high seas. At the moment I feel like that just walking around the house!
Ah I'm sure your skin will be all back to normal after 6 weeks, and if not maybe then you can ask to wait a little longer?
As for the boobs, yeah mine is noticeable from across the street! And I know it isnt just me being paranoid as I've asked various people (other half, friends at work, sister etc) for their honest opinion and they all say it is very noticeable through one layer of clothing. My oldest son also offered that info unprompted very loud in the middle of a shopping centre. Thanks, boy!
It isnt the cup size difference that is the issue (although that is significant with one B and one DD), but the height differential one is pointing North and the other South and because I can't wear a proper bra, I can't prop the droopy one up
First world problems I suppose. But I can't wait for it to be sorted. Plus I have to go in for surgery to get the port a cath removed anyway, and they will do it at the same time....
Hi Sarah yes I was thinking about delaying the r/t. Susie mentioned it yesterday too. To be honest I think there's prob about a 6 week gap anyway so I should be ok. Think I am looking too far ahead all the time and just getting myself in a panic. Just need to deal with one thing at a time and not let everything get on top of me which is when I start thinking I've had enough of everything. My boob may change size after r/t so I suppose I cant rule more surgery out but at the moment Im not that bothered by it being a different size and most people say that you really cant tell unless you study it in detail. I would also like to lose some weight first so that may shrink good boob even more. Will just wait and see. x Have a great weekend
Good morning you lovely lot
First of all, really glad you managed to escape from Alcatraz, Nettie! Hopefully now you are home, you will rapidly start to feel better. Are you still hoping to get away this weekend?
Now let me have a quick catch up on what else I have missed since I was last here. Lots by the look of things!
Daisydi.... I'm glad you enjoyed the LGFB sesh. Fun isnt it. And all those freebies!!
As for your chat with the doc, I swear they train them to do that "I don't know what you are complaining about, other people have it much worse" thing! Mine was the same when I asked if I could have a dose reduction with subsequent T treatments after I had such a bad time with the first lot. He just told me how much worse it could have gone, refused to lower the dose, and kind of made me feel like a whiny brat! Ho hum. Although I guess I have to grudgingly agree he was right as my second T did go more smoothly. Like you I'm not looking forward to doing it all again next week for round 6, but at least it is the last one.
If you are worried about going straight to rads while your skin is still playing up, maybe you could ask for a longer gap between? I went for my rads chat yesterday with the onco and he gave me a lot of choice with the start date. I went for the earliest offered as I want to get it over with, but I could have delayed it for a few weeks if I wanted to. So I guess there is no huge rush from their end, medically....
As for the evening-up surgery, if you can get away without it, visually, then I don't blame you for not being in a hurry to get back under the knife! But I absolutely can't wait for mine. I can't go outside in just a t shirt as things are at the moment, as even with quite a baggy t shirt on I look so weird and lopsided and it makes me so self conscious so I have to wear a jacket or a hoodie all the time and as the weather gets warmer that is going to be horrid. When I had the lino put down in the new bathroom I was wearing just a t shirt (well, and trousers! ) and the lino guy couldn't stop staring at my mutant boobs and pulling confused faces. I can't wear any normal bra, and am sick of wearing the same 2 post surgery bras in rotation. And if I catch sight of myself in the mirror after a shower it depresses the heck out of me as I look so wrong!
I'm due to have it all sorted in August or September and I'm so looking forward to it! Crazy to look forward to surgery I know. But it feels like it will be the first stage to getting "me" back after all of this....
Edinbird, I'm glad your work meeting went as well as it could have, well, as well as it could have without letting you off the interview hook entirely anyway.
At least it sounds like they are trying to be as reasonable as they can without derailing the entire process.
Sorry about the wine drought this weekend though!
I did try to have an alcoholic treat last weekend in Leicester - I had a raspberry daiquiri in TGI Fridays. But honestly they can't have put more than a teaspoon of rum in it, I couldn't taste a thing and I got no "buzz" from it. And usually the first sip of anything sends me tipsy as I drink so rarely I have zero tolerance. It just tasted like a slush puppy from the beach
Rosina, you have inspired me to make up a batch of soup this afternoon. My soup maker has been neglected the past couple of months. My favourite is sweet potato, leek and tomato with a couple of sticks of celery and a chilli thrown in for a little extra oomph.
Marlyn I'm sorry the rads are giving you so much gyp I had my pre rads chat with my onco yesterday and he drew this little diagram that confidently said no side effects for the first 2 weeks, then dryness and soreness building up over the next 3 weeks, peaking a week after it is all over. I mentioned to him that you are already really sore after 5 or 6 sessions and he looked a little caught out. I hope you can find a lotion or potion that will ease your discomfort. He said to me that it is all about keeping everything well hydrated....
I have already got a pot of Aveeno handy as I had read that chemo dries the skin out too. And I'm allergic to lanolin so needed something lanolin free.
Ocean - I'm exactly the same with wondering why I have had to go through all this horrid chemo when after my lumpectomy I was informed that all my margins were clear and I was "most likely completely cancer free". It is frustrating knowing that maybe we are suffering all this horrid additonal treatment for nothing! In my case the doc told me to view it more as an inoculation/ insurance against it coming back, as my oncotype DX result (likelihood of recurrence without further treatment) was quite high - 34 . Apparently if I had scored under 20 I wouldn't have had to have chemo, just rads. Ah well.
As for eating healthily, I have struggled to do so throughout chemo as I have had very odd food cravings and weird taste changes. Carbs and cheese have been all I can face, plus, luckily, fruit still tastes good. So I have put on a bit of flab and I know I could have/ should have been eating healthier. I do thoroughly plan to go back to eating much better once the chemo cravings are behind me. Don't think I fancy full keto, but I will definitely look into a way that I can adapt my usual veg heavy "good" diet as close as possible to the recommended "avoiding cancer" diets....
Glad you have now told your children. Must be a relief in a way. I told mine early on and they took it well, just all immediately asked for a reassurance that I wasnt going to die. I said I wasn't planning on doing so, no. And then they just kind of moved on and talked about other things.
I think my youngest takes it the hardest as he is only 16, and it has just been me and him since his dad left when he was 5 and his older brothers moved out a few years ago (my current partner doesn't live with us). Also as he is the only one still at home he is the only one who has seen me suffer on my bad days with chemo and he has said that really upsets him as he has never really seen me struggle with anything before.
I do worry about how it is affecting him, which is the main reason I've been paying for him to have fortnightly counselling sessions for the last couple of months. That way I know that he has a safe confidential place to discuss his fears. And it turned out that, completely coincidentally, his therapist is a BC survivor herself, 10 years clear and counting, so that I'm sure helps.
I think that is me caught up on yesterday's/this morning's posts.
How are the rest of you, the quiet ones? Hopefully ok x
Any fun weekend plans?
I'm planning to have a mainly lazy weekend as I'm still pretty wiped out from last week walking around Leicester relentlessly, and a tough work week.
Also had a busy, but productive, day yesterday. I thought I was going to have to work (on my day off! Nooooo!) But thankfully the client never got their act together to send the data over for their terribly urgent job so we didn't have to do it after all.
That freed up a couple of hours for me in the morning to work on Peggy, getting there:
Also I had time to run some errands and call the Maggie's centre to get myself booked onto their next "Where now?" course. This is a post cancer treatment counselling course, 2.5 hours every Tues evening for 6 weeks. I assume it is similar to the Moving Forward thing that MBJ did via Breast Cancer Care. The one they have booked me onto starts in September so that suits me as I should be finishing up the bulk of my treatment in July/August.
Then in the afternoon I went over to Oxford to see my onco. It turns out I *am* doing 4 weeks rads, not 3. He had spent the whole hour saying I was doing 15 sessions, then at the end he asked if I had any questions, so I said "how come now it is only 3 weeks when originally you told me 4?", and he then said... "you know what? I think it is 4.... you only had a lumpectomy right? Not a mastectomy? Maybe I should have re read your notes!!"
Duh. Yeah. Maybe!
So - a bit disappointed I do have to have 4 weeks after all (should have kept my mouth shut!! ) and also worried that my onco doesn't seem to have looked at my notes for months.... but otherwise at least I now know more about what to expect from rads etc.
I asked him more about the funky no tattoo machine they have. Apparently the dot tattoos were used to triangulate position, to make sure you are all lined up perfectly. But this new machine uses a kind of similar software to facial recognition tech, so instead of lining you up on 3 points, it learns what I look like when I am in exactly the right position and only gives a match when I am lined back up just right.
They've had the new machine a year and are really happy with it apparently. That isn't too bad. If it was brand shiny new I'd be more wary, I don't want to be a guinea pig!
Then yesterday ended in a bit of a panic as we found out my fella's dad had a mini stroke and called himself an ambulance in the afternoon. By the time the ambulance arrived he was feeling better but quite rightly they took him in anyway and kept him in last night for observation. He is apparently right as rain and in good spirits this morning and determined to talk the docs into letting him home today. We will go to see him over the weekend and see how he is getting on.
Take care all
Maryln our posts crossed. Ive been using Aveeno for quite a while now since my allergic reaction to the surgical dressings used after surgery which seems like a lifetime ago. It does make the skin really soft and non greasy. Hope it works for you xx
Morning Ocean 21 and all. Thanks for that book recommendation. I have just ordered it from Amazon. I am glad that you have had a nice time with your children and that you have managed to tell them about your bc. Must be a great weight off your shoulders. Whenever I see chemo nurses and say I dont want any more I feel so guilty as they are only trying to help but I really really didnt want chemo and I suppose I am just waiting for someone to say ok then you dont need to have it, which wont happen! Only one more to go so will just have to go with it one last time.
Such a beautiful day here so may try to cut the grass.
How are you feeling Nettie and Maryln. Hope you are ok and that everyone else is out and about enjoying our mini heatwave. Love to all xxx
you summed it up for me ref chemotherapy. I had a small tumour...they got clear margins and no lymph node involvement, so I really struggled with the decision, it's such a huge life changing thing. I'm now 6 weeks post last cycle and still suffering side effects, especially the clumsy fingers.....i don't even want to allow my mind to wander off to the what ifs and buts....I'm trying very hard to be in the moment, I know we all struggle with this and that bc will always be lurking in the background....
Anyhoo....just want to share my experience with rads. I've been slathering on E45 cream twice a day ( on both boobs and underneath boobs) after my 5 th session I developed a nasty rash/burn under my right boob ( my lump was in the outside area of said boob) I of course mentioned this to the rads peeps and they suggested the E45 was perhaps a little too oily and that I hadn't rubbed it in sufficiently....so in essence the rads were hitting the oil and " cooking" the area? This was the theory anyway.....I later spoke to my chemist who couldn't rule this theory out, so I now have aveeno ( oatmeal based) and will see how I get on with this....so the upshot is....make absolutely sure the cream absorbs nicely and try and get a cream that isn't "too oily" difficult! As they all contain lanolin or paraffin wax....the chemist said if it didn't heal ( I still have another17 rads to go) the gp will prescribe a silicone gel which acts as a barrier and will help heal the area too...
so there you go!
I hope today brings nice things for us all and if it can't then at least some lessening of side effects will be a Bonas...
take me care my precious ladies, I love you all xxxxxx
Just been catching up on your news. Sounds like there’ve been some challenges.
Glad to hear that you’re home Nettienoo.
Trixie how are you doing? Improving I hope.
Daisydi , totally understand that feeling of absolutely not wanting the chemo but having it anyway.
In a way I resent having to go through this, why my boob?! Me the woman who’s spent her life doing all the right things healthwise being told that it’s ‘chance’. It is difficult to reconcile things sometimes
MBJ , I don’t think any of us know with absolute certainty that we’ve made the right choice. I had my lumpectomy and before my second session of EC when I saw the dr she said my scans show that I’m clear . Apart from disbelief my other reaction in m6 head was ‘ if I’m clear why were you all advising chemo?’ I still struggle with that.
The dr spoke very good english ,when we were on our way home I had such a sense of disbelief I actually asked Tim whether I’d imagined that she’d said I’m clear. He always comes with me to appointments and he said no I hadn’t imagined it . He’s always been very keen for me to have chemo a# he lost his mum to bc so for him and the kids I continue.
That’s not to say that throughput I haven’t been extremely conflicted , I do worry about what chemo is doing to my body overall. I really didn’t want to go through with chemo but I am doing and trust me before each session I have a a moment of being thoroughly p*ssed off at being there and not being courageous enough to say ‘no more’. I think we’ll all have to find a way of being compassionate with ourselves and learn to trust our bodies again. Easier said than done I know but we must do it.
Have a look at a book called ‘ The Metabolic Approach to Cancer- integrating deep nutrition, the ketogenic diet and non toxic bio- individualised therapies.’ by Dr Nasha Winters and Jess Higgins Kelley. Winters had cancer about 25 years ago. I found it a really good read and it’s got 10 health surveys in the book for people to do. They call the surveys the terrain 10 and there’s guidance on what to do for each terrain. You can interviews with Nasha winters talking her work and her journey on YouTube.
She’s a naturopathic doctor and her insights gave me a great deal of food for thought at the beginning of this journey.
Dr William Li did a Ted Talk that you might find interesting. It’s called ‘ can we eat to beat cancer?’ Going forward , although I’ve started already , I know that for me continuing to be very mindful not only of what I eat but also the quality of the food I eat is going to be part of my healing journey.
In the West I really do believe that our food chain has become very industrialised with great reliance on chemicals and in some ways are body’s pay the price. All a bit hippie trippy if you don’t believe in such things but it’s one of the reasons I’ve always been into gardening. When you grow it you know what you’re eating. We garden organically, apart from occasional use of slug pellets !
In other news. I’ve now told my kids about what’s been happening. They’ve been wonderful but as I expected my youngest took it the hardest. I was completely right to wait to tell the youngest two face to face my daughter said as much. I must admit that I felt dreadful telling them, like I’d let them down really badly. For years until I met Tim it was just me and them against the world. I’ve always been their biggest cheerleader and backstop and it feels like the bc sh* t has thrown curve ball to that. Have had a couple of low moments beg of that . Has anyone else felt bad after telling your children?
My son has flown back for work but my daughter is still here. Even though I felt super stressed in the build up to telling them it’s been a great boost having them over . It’s also great that I’m not going to have to be constantly watching what I say so I don’t let the cat out of the bag.
Have a restful day whatever you’re up to. Got some pics for your but it’s not loading them for some reason will try again in a bit.
Welcome home nettienoo, rest up Hun......hope tomorrow is a better day for you and for us all xxxxx
Yes it's tough Daisy and I think I found 5 the hardest as you're nearly at the end, but not quite and then afterwards having to psyche yourself up for the 6th. As you say though, for your own peace of mind, if you can have the last one, that would be good x
Marlyn, sounds like you're having a day of 💩 news today. Going for rads is bad enough, but a double dose that's the pits. Your final day is going to be so looooooong☹ if you have to travel a long way. Hope your boob improves over the weekend. Take care xx
Marlyn yes it’s osteopenia my dad has it... so I was worried about my bones through all this but they just said they’d test and deal if needed. I considered the zoladex injections to stop my periods definitely to then give them a better chance of coming back but the doctor said they were not nice and the menopause symptoms I’d get on top of chemo could be pretty bad so I just decided to let chemo take its course. You get infusions, the first one my dad had made him feel like he had flu for weeks but after that they weren’t too bad. Not sure how many or how long and his were a few years ago not related to his prostate cancer so no point worrying about that your team will tell you what you need.
So the hospital calls up to do the checks. Answer all the questions. See you at 11 on Monday. And were my bloods back I ask? No not yet. We’ll call you if any issues. So I guess I’m the same as last time assume it’s all ok but actually have no idea!! No wine for me