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February 2019 chemo starters

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Sonia, I’m with you on the words thing. I’ve actually been a bit worried about it as I am calling things by completely the wrong name and not realising it. I asked my husband to turn the engine on earlier and I meant the oven. It’s the fact I’m not registering I’ve done it. I do hope it’s temporary.  X

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Hi everyone sorry I've been AWOL - been insanely busy and also fighting a bit of a cold, so not a lot of catch-up-with-my-ladies time available.

 

So - where do I start?? Smiley Happy

 

Marie - how are you feeling? I really hope that the heart meds are gentle on you and that things might improve for you at least a little the further away you get from the chemo that did the damage in the first place - still very annoyed on your behalf! It feels like what they ought to do with chemo is start us all off on a reduced dose for the first cycle, just to see what we can tolerate, as we are all so different, and then ramp it up if need be from cycle 2.... it seems crazy to go in with the super high dose and then go "oooops" when it is too late Smiley Sad

 

Even for those of us who tolerated it better, it really does knock you back to a place you aren't sure you'll ever fully come back from - most of us still have aches and pains galore - and some of you have been having the sweats - and I definitely tire so much easier and quicker than before. Chemo is long term brutal! I know it has its upsides, but so many downsides too, that no amount of reading up on potential side effects in advance can really prepare you for.

 

Anyway - I'm rambling - I hope you're ok doc xxx

 

Susie - you didn't need a glass of water to chuck at your other half when he complained about the shower - you could have just doused him with the shower head! I would have! Smiley Very Happy (This is probably why no man has dared to live with me for over a decade)

 

Daisydi , I'm really glad to hear that you are getting back into a better sleep pattern. Sleep deprivation is the WORST. I've not slept well the past few nights because of this cold, and I'm a very grumpy bear because of it.

 

Did you ever get a definitive answer re how long the meds-induced hot flushes last? Because my onco has now decided I might be peri-menopausal not post-menopausal as the lab originally indicated, I'm starting next week on a double whammy of Zoladex and Anastrazole, which apparently is the ultimate hot sweat cocktail. Oh goody. If I know they will "only" last 6 months or so, I reckon I can put up with it. If they go on for the whole 10 years, not so much!

 

I'm very reassured to see that our Trixielady's Letrazole sweats only lasted a month or so.

 

Marlyn - have you tried out that pink hairspray yet? At this rate I'm going to be the only one *without* pink hair, talk about the world turned upside down Smiley Very Happy

 

As for eyelash curlers, that is something I've never even tried, that or false lashes. The thought of poking around near my eye makes me a little squeamish. Even putting mascara on makes me a bit nervous! Smiley Happy

 

And uncaring siblings? - stuff em. My sis can be a pain as you know Smiley Happy Although to be fair she does ask how I am. Just before having a go at me about something Smiley Happy It's my adult sons who have shown absolutely zero interest in my health issues, which kind of surprised me, but hey ho. Maybe the whole thing just makes them uncomfortable and they would rather pretend it isn't happening.

 

Susie - I also use stairs as a gauge of fitness. I am still a long, long way from bounding up and down stairs like I used to, but when I am feeling really fed up I remind myself of where I was in June just after my last chemo, when it took me forever to get up the stairs and it totally wiped me out. Even the slightest incline in the street felt like climbing Everest. I'm definitely moving forward (and upward Smiley Happy ), which is encouraging.

 

I've looked at that Dyson hairdryer too, but I just couldn't bring myself to spend that much on something so utilitarian, especially given half the time I'm drying my hair at the gym anyway with their dryers, or on a sunny day, just letting it dry by itself. They are supposed to be good though. As is their curler/straightener thing, the Airwrap. My sister treated herself to one of those the other day in John Lewis. £450!!!! for a hair curler!!!! Dyson are one of my clients at work, but sadly they don't give us a supplier discount.

 

Talking of hair, good news that despite still chemo-ing, you don't seem to be losing any more.

 

Enjoy that summerhouse while you can! it's getting chilly round these parts now.

 

As for "going grey gracefully", I'm somewhere between Susie's "no way" and Rosina's embracing of it. I don't mind how it is right now, kind of salt n pepa, as I'm not looking to colour it again until it is a fair bit longer (super short, brightly coloured hair will just attract those ladies from the other bus that we discussed! Smiley Very Happy). And, like I said before I think, I actually prefer the grey to the boring mousy brown it used to be. But I'm not planning on keeping it like this forever, I do want my crazy colours back in a year or so.

 

My main problem with it isn't that it makes me look old, as such, but it does make me look my age Smiley Happy And I'm not used to that. I'm used to kidding myself that I'm still a youngster.

 

When I changed my Facbook profile pic to this one earlier this week:Screenshot_20190911-153938_Facebook-picsay.jpg

 

lots of people said very nice things, but one of my best pals commented "but this is a grown up. Where is Sarah?!" and that's exactly how I feel Smiley Very Happy Like I am cosplaying as a 52 year old Smiley Happy

 

Makes me wonder if perhaps it is time to grow up a little ..... but, I only think like that for a moment and then it's "nah..... Smiley Happy " But yes, for the moment, I shall brave the "au naturel" Smiley Wink

 

Back to Daisydi - no critical illness insurance for me either. I did have one, but it was linked to my mortgage, and was there to pay the mortgage payments for me if I couldn't pay them due to not being able to work through a critical illness. I think that is the only circumstance under which it paid out, and I haven't missed any work, and besides I paid off my mortgage anyway 2 years ago when my dad passed away, so it got cancelled.

 

That's a genius idea about reducing retirement age if you've had cancer, I wish they did do that! Sadly I'm pretty sure they don't. My retirement age is 67 - seems like a loooooong way away.

 

Trixielady, liking the holiday snaps, hope you had a great time. You look a lot happier in the photo with wig than without, but I bet it was hot under there! Give it a year and I bet we will all be feeling much happier about our hair once it has a bit of length and we can slap some colour on it.

 

Seaside, how was your first home game? Annoyingly I missed ours as I was away, but we lost anyway (and by all accounts played really badly), so I'm not too sad Smiley Happy I'll be at the rink this weekend though.

 

As for your hubby and him liking the short hair, that's a bonus, but you need to like it too! Maybe you can get to a compromise length over time. Or just get it how you want it and he can mind his onions Smiley Very Happy

 

Back to Susie re recovery time after rads. There has been such a wide range of reactions between us all, that it is difficult to predict how quickly you will bounce back, but for me (I was lucky!) it was almost instant. If you remember I had booked the fortnight after rads off work as holiday, because both the onco and the radiotherapist warned me that the 2 weeks following treatment are the worst, and I would feel exhausted, and my skin would be peeling off etc. As it turned out, I felt absolutely fine pretty much straight away, never had any skin issues, and my energy levels were better than they had been in months. Like I say, I was lucky, but at least that's proof that you aren't 100 percent doomed to have a bad time in those 2 weeks.

 

I guess it depends how much you are planning to do in London, as long as you build in a few potential rest stops etc, I reckon you'll *probably* get away with it. At least if you so have a bit of the old radiotherapy sunburn you'll be covered up anyway because it will be winter....

 

How are you getting on with your big wardrobe clear out and re-stock? Smiley Happy

 

Marlyn, hope you've got some more sleep since your rubbish Monday night x I do like the idea of you flouncing around in your "dramatic" t shirt though, sorry it made me giggle Smiley Happy

 

How is operation noisy bathroom going?

 

Sonia, thanks for setting up that Messenger group so that we could keep in touch when this forum kicked us all out again, I did miss the non Facebook ladies though (Seaside, Susie, Daisy, Trixie etc). I didn't realise that you could use the Messenger app independently of facebook, that's good. Would you non facebookers be happy to download the app so that you could join in if the forum goes dark again?

 

Or I'm fine with WhatsApp, either or.

 

Susie, your hair looks great! Nice cut. You have way more than some of us skin'eds Smiley Happy I'm totally with you on missing my fringe. I'm not used to seeing so much of my forehead Smiley Happy (oh and SIL is short for sister-in-law) Marlyn - I just looked up trigger finger, we definitely don't want that!! I'm trying not to worry about any potential side effects that are listed as anything less than "common". I depressed myself looking at the Zoladex side effects online, and then thought, to balance it out, I'd look on the same website for the side effects of the blood pressure meds I've been taking for 10 years with absolutely no problems at all. Sure enough there was a scary list as long as my arm, all sorts of horrid things - not one of which I've ever experienced. So I'm trying to adopt an "I'll worry about it if it happens" mindset.

 

Daisydi, your oncologist is even more of a stranger than mine was. Mine disappeared for months on end too, I didn't see him once during chemo. I hope when you finally see him (or her?) in November they are at least helpful.

 

Nettie - you have such lovely eyes! And your hair is about the same length as mine by the look of it, wish mine would get a move on too! I'm using that Caffeine head and shoulders shampoo that I mentioned before, and taking these supplements:img_463-picsay.png

 

Not sure if it actually makes it grow any quicker, it seems not compared to some of our other ladies, but it does seem to be growing back nice and thick and healthy.

 

Daisy - you mentioned hairy fingers - I'm seeing more hair on my face than I had before, on my cheeks and chin. It is very fine (bumfluff Smiley Happy ) and you can only see it if you get up close, but it is annoying me a little as it wasn't there before. I'm not going to shave it off though as I don't want it coming back stubbly!! Smiley Happy

 

Edinbird, we've spoken and you know I'm really sorry to hear how your first day back at work went Smiley Sad Like the others have said, you're already doing the "putting yourself first" thing by going to Maggie's asking for some help, making new contacts of people locally who can support you etc. You've had a TOUGH year, I mean we all have, but yours has been extra tough, be kind to yourself for a while and I promise things will look brighter in a month or two.

 

Sonia, your hair looks great - you'd never have the foggiest clue that you were chemoing a few months ago!

 

Daisy - I remember you mentioned before about losing your sister in an accident, but I didn't know all the details Smiley Sad I feel so guilty now for moaning about my sister on a regular basis! I do love her really. I honestly can't imagine what it must have been like for all of you, and the thought of her children (presumably not little children at that point but, still) having to come home without her is just utterly heartbreaking. I just can't think what that must have done to them Smiley Sad

 

I can see why you needed to have a clean break after such a tragedy. Otherwise there would be so many daily reminders it would be unbearable.

 

On the more positive side I'm glad things are moving in the right direction for your mum's care, I hope that the move to the new facility isn't too much of an upheaval for her.

 

Trixie - if you don't feel like you are getting comprehensive or useful answers to your questions from the onco - would it be worth taking someone else in with you to keep prodding until you get straight answers? I'm lucky that my onco is fairly straightforward, but my friend had a similar issue with hers that you seem to have with yours. She started taking her husband to the consultations and he basically made absolutely sure that everything was answered thoroughly and to their joint satisfaction.

 

Susie, you're making perfect sense, don't worry Smiley Happy Glad you are perking up a bit.

 

Sonia I'd happily eat a 2-cheese sarnie, I love cheese! (That's why I put on so much weight during chemo, my inner cheese monster was fully unleashed Smiley Very Happy)

 

Rosina - don't sweat the small stuff (as irritating as it may be!)

 

And - I'm caught up!!! Remind me not to leave it so long next time Smiley Very Happy

 

I shall leave you with some (from hundreds of!) street art pics from my exhausting long weekend (there were 2 big urban art festivals on at the same time, which was annoying, one in Cheltenham and one in Birmingham - so I was in Cheltenham all day Friday (didn't get home till nearly midnight), then in Birmingham all day Saturday (another long day), and then back to Cheltenham from lunchtime on Sunday. SO much walking, and a lot more driving than I've done for months too.

 

Roll on this Friday when I intend to REST UP. Love to absolutely all of you Sarah xxx

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20190908_184749-picsay.jpgMy motto Smiley Very Happy

 

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Lots of wise words in the recent posts, from SusieB and Nettinoo.

Thank you.

I was shocked about your sister Daisydi the first time you mentioned it.

 I am a certified sports diver but haven’t been diving in 20 years and don’t plan to return ( kit got stolen way back : fins, wetsuit - didn’t replace it.)

Sending you Hugs.

Rosina

ps, got irritated at work today as nothing is where it should be ( pilfered, gone for a walk, lost ???) had to be reminded about the bigger picture by one of my LSAs. So true 🌸🌸🌸

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Daisy, That must have been awful for you. I am glad you had the courage to move and do the things you wanted. 

Trixie, we are all here for you to rant away. I wish we didn’t have to take into consideration money when planning our lives it would make things much easier. 

Susie, hubby got blasted last week too. I’d like to think I can talk it through rationally, but I let it all build up the explode. I feel I can tell you ladies anything, where as I don’t like to tell anyone how I’m really feeling. 

 

Well I don’t know if it’s chemo brain, early menopause or what, I am mixing up so many words and saying things that make no sense at all

today I tried to a Brie and cheese sandwich !! The lady behind the till looked really strange at me and said that’s 2 cheeses, took my friend to intervene and say what I wanted 😫😫😫

fingers have gone numb so will catch up later xxx

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Hi everyone 

 

Well I've definitely climbed out of the chemo fog for now and have actually had the energy to do a bit of exercise from my DVD and the walk🚶‍♀️ to my hairdressers yesterday didn't tire me out at all. 

On the subject of returning to work I feel so fortunate that I don't have to make that decision now. That said it was extremely difficult going through the redundancy process, which took around a year, but at least I was in good health at the time and had the option of taking my Civil Service pension early. Under the current circumstances I'm glad I did take it. We worried about money and how we would manage, we still had a mortgage and our son still had a couple years to do at uni. At the time I couldn't face applying for jobs or attending interviews. The plan in the end was to get  little part- time job after a 6 month break. Then my Mother-in-law passed away which ultimately allowed us to be financially secure. In other words we never know what the future holds. If we did I'm sure we wouldn't have so many 'What ifs?', .

As for my mood it does depend very much on how tired I am. Last week I was so angry and frustrated that this Barrying bc has had such an impact on our lives since last December. Unfortunately my husband got the full force of that anger. 

I'm going to sign off for now 'cos I don't think I'm making much sense. Chemo brain😩😩😩😩. Be back later when brain back in gear. xxxx  

    

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Daisydi so sorry to read about your sister my god i really don't know how people cope losing loved ones and are able to continue but i suppose there's an inner strength. Hopefully you can remember her with happy memories rather then a painful lose,they say time is a great healer is it really or do we just learn to cope xx big hugs thinking about you xxxx


@daisydi wrote:

Edinbird you have done so well keeping up with work in the first place.  I am at the other extreme wishing I had some sort of work but dont and cant face the prospect of looking for jobs.  I am sure your employers understand.  When I tragically lost my sister in a diving accident in Egypt I went back to work after 2 weeks but I really really couldn't cope with the pressure and some months later had to go off sick.  I was the head of a department but I wanted to work part time which they eventually let me but then I couldn't cope with being in charge and not being there all the time which is why I moved up to Norfolk to get a clean break.  Even though I have left all my friends behind I think it was still the right decision as they were all moving away to be closer to family etc. and we still meet up occasionally.  My work always played such an important role in my life but then I discovered life without work and it is so much easier although I do need to do a little something.  My biggest enjoyment was being able to have the dog I had always wanted and she was my best friend and companion until last year when I lost her at the age of 15.  Have you ever wanted a pet? Just give yourself time.  It is very early days and you are still in treatment so try to be patient with yourself xxx


 

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Morning ladies

God it feels strange knowing why our hair is like it is but at least its hair and you both look fantastic. Edinbird I totally understand about working and not working but we have to put ourselves first but that to me is difficult when all you want to do is be normal!! and that means working to get the money to do things because unfortunately in my situation my hubby's wages aren't enough but I continued to fight with my self and deep down i know I'm a along way of getting back to work some days i feel so mixed up miserable, emotionally tired and so lost, I feel so bloody lazy but when i try to do things around the house it backfires.

Daisydi I'm pleased you've received your appointment with the oncologist I'm not sure if mine is really helpful but its probably me, as he can never give a straight answer that i want to listen to or understand because most of the time i feel **bleep** but its probably boredom and lack of energy. I so wish i could concentrate on the here and now and not the what ifs everyone says we can't believe how wonderful your coping!! What else am i supposed to do!! Sorry for the rant feelings running wild today xx

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Edinbird, you mustn’t beat yourself up about not feeling up to work and it’s associated pressures yet. You have done amazingly well to put in the hours you have so far and you are obviously very conscientious when it comes to work matters. I hope a chat at Maggie’s will help. 

Daisy, I have felt tearful reading about the loss of your sister. Something so traumatic does change priorities and how one looks at life. I’m so glad you took the brave step of moving near the sea. There are things I want to do after all this bc c**p has quietened down. I’m not going to say “over” as I’m pretty sure the effects will be ongoing in some form or other. I hope I can find as much courage as you have had Daisy........watch this space eh! Xxxx

 

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Hi Edinbird 

 

I'm so sorry that going back to work has led to feelings of anxiety and being overwhelmed. You say you don't know how to put your health first but by deciding to have a chat with Maggie's today that's exactly what you are doing. The important thing is that you have recognised that things aren't right and that you need some help, advice or guidance.

I recognise how important your career is for you, I was much the same at your age but had to make a huge decision when I was about 43 when my job was making me ill - stress related - and I decided to down grade aftet a 2nd bout of sick leave. It was hard but ultimately it was the right decision for me. 

As far as the bc goes I'm sure the 30 or 40 year old me would have battled her way to work no matter what. The older and maybe wiser 62 year old me would think, stuff it, I'm taking as much sick leave as I can and not feel guilty on days when I could feasibly have gone to work.

Take care and don't be so hard on yourself. You've been througn so much this year and you're still going througn treatment. xxxxx.

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Hi Sonia, my sister had just turned 50 and had booked a last minute trip with the two youngest kids as a treat over half term.  I didnt even know she had gone.  It was so traumatic and she left 4 children, the two youngest having to pack up her things and come home without her.  It was that time that I really had to rethink my work life balance and decided I wanted more me time and that life was precious and you should do what you need to do at the time and not put things off.  I wanted to live by the sea so I did.  Didnt expect the situation with my mum a couple of years after.  On that note we heard from the care home we visited that they will probably have a room for her very soon and were we interested.  We said we had the meeting with the manager tomorrow and would let her know.  Think we will probably move her as we dont expect them to budge on the room situation and even if they did it could be years before a downstairs room became available.  Its all very scary though.

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Daisy, 

you've made me think, I only took 2 weeks off after my died when I was 21. We weren’t given the full picture so I had no idea she was so I’ll, so it came as a huge shock. The cancer thing has brought up so many things I don’t think I’ve ever dealt with, I think that’s why I’m reluctant to go back to work too quickly. I just hope we manage financially. 

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Edinbird you have done so well keeping up with work in the first place.  I am at the other extreme wishing I had some sort of work but dont and cant face the prospect of looking for jobs.  I am sure your employers understand.  When I tragically lost my sister in a diving accident in Egypt I went back to work after 2 weeks but I really really couldn't cope with the pressure and some months later had to go off sick.  I was the head of a department but I wanted to work part time which they eventually let me but then I couldn't cope with being in charge and not being there all the time which is why I moved up to Norfolk to get a clean break.  Even though I have left all my friends behind I think it was still the right decision as they were all moving away to be closer to family etc. and we still meet up occasionally.  My work always played such an important role in my life but then I discovered life without work and it is so much easier although I do need to do a little something.  My biggest enjoyment was being able to have the dog I had always wanted and she was my best friend and companion until last year when I lost her at the age of 15.  Have you ever wanted a pet? Just give yourself time.  It is very early days and you are still in treatment so try to be patient with yourself xxx

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Edinbird, sorry your feeling so bad atm, when I spoke to one of the nurses the other day, she said we almost need to mourn your old life as it will never be the same, but in the end we will come out stronger than before. I felt it was a bit Patronising at the time, as I was a strong person before, but I think she’s probably right, she also not to go back to work until you feel 100%  as if you go back at 90% you end up worse than ever xx 

hope you manage to 82C52969-9D56-42A4-8180-70F03BD34E68.jpeg

 

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My my hair is still very thin around my ears as my hair hasn’t grown long enough, it’s curly underneath where it’s all grown, make the top long layer stick right out in the morning, 🤪🤪

the camera show my big bags so maybe the lack of sleep is beginning to show 😩😩

good news I rang my local Macmillan group mustard tree, and I can get in the spa day, that I couldn’t attend in may, due to problem PICC. Xx  

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Hi guys xx

 

So going back to work didn’t work... felt too overwhelmed was tired felt anxious and came back home. Feel really useless and upset. I’ve gone from feeling bad being at home to feeling bad being there. I understand why people just go off and stay off now. Not sure what I’m going to do except go to Maggie’s tomorrow and talk to them after physio. Everyone keeps saying put me and my health first and I just don’t know how to! I can’t ever have a level of normality again. I feel like I need a new start on everything and out of my depth with work, wish I’d had a bad interview and got the project work now. Sorry for being so down, my sweats have really come back bad this last week so my brain is mush 😞

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Nettie I just think thats the way they do it here.  My own hospital doesnt have an oncologist and we have to borrow from the N&N and I think the poor bloke is so overstretched they couldnt do it any other way.  I'm sure they think if you have problems you will tell someone but it doesnt make it very easy.  It must be such a relief to see your hair growing.  Im just noticing as Im typing that my fingers have got hairy!  Yuk! and all the new hair growing is so wayward just growing whichever way it wants.  Dont quite know how Im going to tame it all.  Got my eyelash curlers yesterday and my eyelashes arent quite long enough but I am ready.  I think you all look good with short hair.  I am so lucky that I managed to keep probably 60-70% of my hair but it still looks a mess cos the new hair growing underneath is making the rest stick up.  Anyway speak later x

PS  I can do WhatsApp

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Susie, I have serious hair envy, you have so much. Mine is on a go slow probably because I’m scrutinising it all the time and willing it to get a move on. I miss my fringe too. My hairline has receded at the sides since the menopause and it is accentuated by having a widow’s peak. Is anyone using supplements to help with hair growth or specialist shampoos? 

This is my hair growth today (about 5/6 weeks worth). 🙄 82163086-329C-4F2F-BA40-BE618F8FB110.jpeg

 

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Daisydi, do you think you were forgotten. Did you end up calling to enquire, 7 months does seem a long time between Onco appts. Last week I was chasing up my follow up after surgery appt with breast surgeon as back in January, I was told they wanted to see me in 6 months. When I phoned the Breast Care Unit on Friday, they had indeed completely forgotten me. I wasn’t on that system for a follow up appt or further mammograms. Good job I chased it up as mammogram due next month. It makes me wonder what would have happened if I was a little elderly lady who lived alone with memory problems. It seems to happen so often that follow up appts aren’t made. Worrying really. 

Marlyn, I’ve been on Anastrazole a couple of weeks now and am getting a few aches in the joints, particularly my knees. I’m hoping this is just temporary. What is trigger finger? I have an aching toe. Perhaps I have trigger toe? 🤔 xxx

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Susie, sister in law 😉

with whatsapp, we just need your telephone number and you to have the app. Works really well and you don’t get charged for sending photos either. Xx

I’m plodding on while I’m in the right frame of mind be back later 💕

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Hi everyone, again 

 

Daisydi, good to know you've finally got an oncologist's appt but 27th November still seems an awfully long time to wait since you haven't seen since April. What do you do in the meantime if you need advice or encounter problems with the meds you've been prescribed?  The holistic therapist sounds interesting and if she can help with your symptoms that'll be brilliant. Thanks for the compliment regarding my hair. I'll probably still wear my wigs out but not bother at home home, unless I'm having a bad hair day😨😨😀😀.

 

Marlyn, I've heard of trigger finger but don't know what it is. I'll have to Google that one.  As for hair I was quite fortunate in that I managed to hang on to about 30 to 40% of my hair.  Also despite continuing to lose hair after FEC finished my bald patches started to sprout almost immediately. Can't wait to colour it again, starting with some pink running through it. Don't think I'll be brave enough to use your pink spray😆😆😆.

 

Sonia28, sorry I'm a bit thick, what does SIL mean🤔🤔🤔? WhatApp sounds like a good idea, not that I've ever used it. Must ask my personal technical assistant, ie my son, about it. I must say I don't like it when the Forum is down, especially if I or any of us, really need to talk. We all have our moments especially when we're having a rough time, when we need to off load, rant, moan or even cry😭😭😔😔. It would be a comfort to know there are alternatives to maintaining contact. Could you pass the sunshine on to Somerset please☀️☀️☀️ I need to go outside and tidy the geraniums whilst it's dry.

 

Right need to make a start🌺🌺🌺 and start deadheading to poor things. The hanging baskets aren't exactly looking their best. Hugs to everyone❤❤❤❤❤

 

 

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Susie think your hair looks great.  Dont think I would bother with a wig if I were you x  Oh and I've just got an appointment through the post for the oncologist Wed 27th November. First appt I've had since April

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Susie.....just wanted to say your hair looks really fab, so much longer than mine.....xxxx

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Whatsup is a good idea, a good back up for when forum is down....

i still have fumble fingers, it's never left me....Also read the anastrozole can cause trigger finger....bloody hell.....it's bad enough not sleeping and looking like some demented zombie.....but the possibility of trigger finger too! Really??? I don't know whether to laugh or cry....sleep deprivation wreaks the head.....

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Hi everyone 

 

Glad things are working again. Hate not being able to chat or catch up with all that's going on. 

So I've had my hair cut so it looks like a short crop. It actually looks like a shorter version of my normal style. Wish my hair would hurry up and grow now so that I can have my fringe back. Still I should be grateful that I haven't lost any during this current round of chemo.  My hair bc had a slight wave so I'm hoping the curls will drop as it gets longer. The scruffy look and various shades of grey don't show up so well in the photos.

Just going to have some lunch. Love to everybody.   xxx

 

20190910_092504.jpgBefore hair cut20190910_092357.jpgJust about see remnants of coloured hair20190910_092649.jpgScruffy20190910_113845.jpgNeater at the sides20190910_114343.jpgIt's coming back curly20190910_114438.jpgI want my fringe

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Marilyn. I can sympathise with you, it’s hell when you get no sleep, I think my body is getting use to the lack of sleep now😫😫

daisy, let me know how’s you get on, I’d be really interested to see if it helps.

missed you guys, I managed to put a messenger group together but haven’t got everyone’s details, I know you can have messenger without Facebook as my SIL does, but if WhatsApp suits everyone better, that might be the way forward, I felt so lost when the Forum went down, maybe it’s trying to wean me off 🤪🤪

im busy sorting through the house today, feeling sort of okay. Ignoring not feelings in hands and ploughing through, sun shining. Music on and I’ve bathed the dog 🐶, happy Tuesday everyone xxx 

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Marlyn, poor you😪😪😪😪. That's how I felt up until yesterday. Moan away. That's what we're for. Get some rest if you can. 

Susie xxx 

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.  Morning all, its amazing how panicked I feel when I cant get on here.  Know that feeling Maryln.  Ive just booked a session next week with a holistic therapist to see if she can help me with my ailments, mainly numb feet and rotten toenails.  Cant wait to see if she can perform miracles.  So good to be back xx

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

I want to have a moan before I get chucked out...

 

I didn't even sleep a wink last night!!! Arrrrrrggggghhhhhh!!!!! Today I'm an actual walking zombie with sore red eyes.....I'm wearing a tea shirt that has " dramatic " in glitter written on it.....cause that's how I'm feeling today!!!!

 

noisey workmen don't help either....feeling like a piece of poo.......but I still love you all.....x

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Just testing......keep getting chucked out......

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Looks like it’s back then. 🙌🏻😊 xx

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Testing to see if forum working properly. X

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Hi everyone

 

Well it's day 10 after chemo and I'm finally feeling more human. That said, I felt ok the other day, then promptly reverted back to tired mode😪😪😪😪😪.  Fingers crossed I've entered the onwards and upwards stage. On the plus side the mouth wash I was prescribed has worked fairly well so will ask for more ready for my final round. 

 

Thanks Daisydi and  Marlyn for your replies. Judging by how I've been lately I'll probably be knackered like you two😪😩. Can't see me being super human like Rosina and Implausible.  

 

Trixielady, like you I feel more like me when I'm wearing one of my wigs. If my hair colour was anything like Christine Lagarde's it wouldn't be so bad. Helen Mirren and Judy Dench are another couple of names that seem to suit grey hair too. I'll have a better idea of what my hair is like after it's been cut. Also the reaction and comments from both my son and husband will say a lot. Maybe have a brown paper bag ready to stick over my head😆😆😅. You look great in both the photos by the way. Also remeber Cala Bona from many years ago. We stayed in Cala Millor, I think that's the place, which is the next resort down.

 

Daisydi sorry but pension age doesn't reduce for anything nor never has done. Raising the age to 66, especially when it was changed over such a short period of time stiil sucks. I get annoyed😤😤 and I used to work for the DWP, but not on pensions I hasten to add. I actually started in what was the Unemployment Benefit Office, Dept of Employment way back in1975. Eeeeeek!!!

 

Hope the rads are going ok Ocean21. Sorry can't remember if this is your final week or next week. Chemo brain. 

 

As for me the idea was that if I felt a bit brighter today I would tidy up the geraniums but the weather had other ideas so I'm having a bit of a clothes clear out. Using Gok rules, if I haven't worn it in over a year, 2 or 3 in some cases, it's going to charity or the bin. If it's looking worn or scruffy why have I still got it? If it's too tight bin it. I'm being ruthless for once. Wonder how many new clothes I'll be buying 👕👖👗👚👚🛍 to replace what I throw out?

 

Love to everybody.  xxxx

 

 

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Morning Susie, being the queen of side effects I dont think I am in a position to answer your question about radiotherapy!  You just have to look at the other amazing ladies who worked through it, went back to work straight after, had holidays etc. etc.  To be honest with my side effects the main contributory factor was the heat and sun which you wont have to worry about in December.  I would say go with whatever makes you happy and deal with anything if it arises.  You may get nothing x

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Susie,

just a quick bob in ref rads, as I'm a complete light weight rads knocked the stuffing out of me, I had 23 sessions ( with a double bubble on the last day)  I have never known tiredness like it! ( other than chemo tired) 

i think it took me a good 3 weeks to start to feel more human.....I'm hoping your more like our Rosina and implausible, who quite frankly are super women....xxxxx

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Morning everyone from a very wet Somerset🌧🌧🌧🌧 with the prospect of thunder later⛈⛈⚡🌩. I wasn't expecting that😨😨☹.

I've got a quick question for those of you who have had radiotherapy. How long did it take to recover afterwards? I'm only asking because I had established that if I start rads 4 weeks after chemo  finished I would have 3 weeks before going away to London or 2 if rads started  1 wk later. Now hubby says w/c 9th Dec won't be good for him due to work and so we may need to go away on the 2nd instead. I'm concerned that a week may not allow enough recovery time. Any opinions, tips, advice, etc would be most welcome.

Talk to you all later. Have a good day.  xxx 

  

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Good morning everybody,

 

I hope you all managed to have a nice weekend and enjoy the last bits of sunshine. Hope you enjoyed your drink in the summer house, Susie. Getting colder now, brrrr!

 

Welcome back Trixielady. I too think you look lovely in both photos but I understand what you mean about not wanting to go out without your wig at home. I keep grabbing the headscarves when I'm out, much to my other half's protestations. He likes my short grey hair apparently. I'm not overly impressed though.

 

Thanks for the photo of Christine Lagarde, Rosina. She does look elegant. Something to aim for. My hair is too spiky for my liking, never mind the fact that it's completely grey. Your colleague's comment is just typical of how people think they're being nice, yet it grates on us terribly. A friend of mine, in response to me saying I would like my hair to grow a bit longer was, "Yes, then you can style it a bit more."  Another one of my friends said, "Ooh, look at your hair!" Followed by, "It will grow." Generally, I'm not getting the impression that anyone (apart from hubby) likes It very much. Haven't shown my Mum yet. Now she's definitely got no filter so that will be fun 😂

 

Have you tried the pink hairspray, Marlyn? Are you going to post a pic?

 

Well, I've had an almost normal weekend with the first ice hockey game since last season, visiting a friend, playing badminton and going for some long walks. Even played the keyboard for a bit but had to stop because of my sore fingers 😔 Still feeling the side effects from barry Herceptin. Getting lots of pins and needles in left hand as well. With one thing and another it's never possible to forget this dang BC.

 

Right, time to get dressed and head out to the shops.

 

Hope you all have a good day.

 

Sar xxx

 

 

 

 

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Thanks Sonia28 

Its awful how we always seem to cancel something that we think we don't need just to find out it would come in handy I had one with the GMB but there we go its gone to late now think it actually covers BC, one of my life insurance said if i could not go back to my normal job I could cash it in now otherwise the earliest is in 4 years when I'm 55. Was also advised to ask my mortgage company because sometime they have cover that we weren't aware about but No not mine same about utilities but no not ours. Spent the year before I was due to turn 50 looking for better insurance and illness cover but decided not to bother because i felt well!! If only xx you'll have to put a new photo on xx

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Hi Daisy, 

we had 3 life covers so hubby cancelled one last year it was the one with critical illness cover, never mind would have helped but nothing we can do about it now. 

 

Trixie, you look lovely in both photos but I know what you mean about feeling yourself. 

 

Ive stopped getting my eyelashes done, as mine have started to sprout and didn’t want to do any harm to them, but they are taking so long, tried to put mascara on this weekend but they are definitely not long enough yet.

Also the photos hubby took this weekend are definitely going on my before weight loss photos even though I’ve already lost a stone. 😫😫😫

hope everyone has had a good weekend xx

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Marlyn sorry it was me getting mixed up although we did go camping somewhere near Shropshire when my sister lived at Cannock. I Know it was a long shot but the lady i met on holiday had a friend called Marlyn who was diagnosed at the same time but think she lives in Wales xx

We live near Durham xx

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

IMG-20190906-WA0000.jpgFeel much more like me

 

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

IMG-20190908-WA0000.jpgMy hair absolutely hate it! Wouldn't go out at home without my wig

 

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Yes Rosina grey is fashion at the moment!

Another thing I meant to say is that I have just been reading about finance and have noticed that lots of ladies have had pay outs from their critical illness insurance, just in case any of you have it.  Unfortunately I dont.  What I was really looking for was whether they would lower the pension age with a bc diagnosis as currently I have to wait until I'm 66 but I think that's a bit of a long shot but it bothers me that I may never get back my hard earned money!

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Christine Lagarde

 

One classy grey haired lady 

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Hey SusieB,

I had to respond to this :

“ bc is not going to force me to go grey gracefully and show it to the world.”

Well this is exactly what I have done ( I will see in December- 6 months post chemo if I wish to colour it or not as I don’t dislike it, if Christine Lagard Head of the IMF can pull it off then so can I 🤪).

What got to me on Friday was a colleague at the photocopier saying how she admired me for going ‘au naturel’ - I was very diplomatic in my reply, but when I got home I told my daughter ( she wants me to dye / highlight my hair ASAP and tells me without mincing her words 😂) and I said something along the lines of ‘she - said colleague- needs to look at herself in the mirror first what with her pot belly and wonky teeth , does she also need admiration for going ‘au naturel’ 🤯

What is it with women coming out with ridiculous comments about someone else’s appearance!!!! I know it was meant as a compliment but it’s a stupid one.

Rant over 🙏 ohm.

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Hi everyone 

 

Still feeling tired😪😪😪😪😪 despite sleeping for a couple of hours yesterday afternoon and sleeping well last night.  Just returned from Asda with hubby. We only needed a couple of bits but the trip out has done me some good.  Also returned with a pair of jeans👖 and a couple of pull on bras so no hooks to mess around with which weren't on the shopping list🗒.

 

Trixielady, welcome home🏡☺. Stairs can be a pain but I use them as a guide as to how fit/unfit I am. A good day is when I automatically rush up them without thinking. Only managed that one day since last chemo on 30th Aug😩.  Regarding hair, mine is growing back slowly where I had bald patches but I am still having chemo (TC) and cold-capping. The new hair seems to be growing back curly and is making the hair I managed to keep stick out wildly, especially first thing in the morning. As for colour it's a horrible mix of various shades of grey with white at the front😺😾🐺🐈🦍🐭🐨🐇. I'm having it cut on Tuesday so if I remember I'll do a before and after photo. I still intend to wear my wigs out. Barrying bc is not going to force me to go grey gracefully and show it to the world.

 

Marlyn, I was tempted to find out more about the Dyson hairdryer last year and perhaps put it on my Xmas present ideas list for hubby, then  Gremlin turned up so put that one on hold. You'll have to let me know if it's worth the money. I must say I am impressed with their vacumme cleaners. Hope to see a photo of your pink hair. It'll be ages before I can colour mine. My brother is up there too on the uncaring relative league table. He hasn't asked once how I'm getting on, commented on me getting through chemo, surgery, etc. I stopped bothering about him a couple of months ago. Like your sister he is happy to talk about his travels. I did copy him into the e- mails I sent Mum but gave up in the end. We've never been close but I've always shown concern/interest when he's had surgery or health issues. 

 

Must go now hubby has a drink for me in the summerhouse.

 

Will catch up with you all later.  xxxxx 

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Maryln you've just reminded me I need eyelash curlers.  Trixielady I managed to keep most of my hair, probably lost about 30% but all around my face it is growing back white and curly and it does seem a bit slow only about an inch long.  Its a bit of a strange look but cant do anything about it. Eyebrows are growing randomly and eyelashes growing but very slow.  Can only put clear mascara on to try and train them where to go instead of straight down into my eye!  Maryln all my sister talks about is holidays, she has booked 3 since I finished my treatment!

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Trixelady....lol.....I now live in Shropshire....been here 3 years after moving back from Spain.....where do you live? 

 

Iv had a bit of a spending spree in boots today, got some pink hair colour ( spray) now I have hair! Also used my dyson blow dryer for the first time since Feb.....ok....it only took 7 seconds to dry.....but! 

Got eyelash curlers....now I have eyelashes ! And got some pretty pink nail varnish....now I have decent nails! Also got some stick on heat pads for my back, never used them before so hoping they work....last night in bed was pretty uncomfortable.....

 

hot flushes....now they've really ramped up since meds! 

 

Lovely day today...my ideal weather, sun out but nice and cool.....hope your all doing as well as you can..xx

 

oh...ps... my sister has got to take the first prize for being the most uncaring sister....I sent her a pm asking how she is ( I last heard from her last month....and it was me reaching out) I got a long reply back about how much she is looking forward to her Spanish holiday next week....about how she is learning Spanish.....and guess what? Not one question on how I am.....not a one....think I'll stop bothering.......

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Ladies where are we with hair?? mine is coming in slowly my last Chemo was end of May the sides and back are ok but the front is very thin, the colour is crap and makes me feel really old rather than 51 but unfortunately I've just read that letrozole and herceptin can play havoc with the hair.

Still awaiting heart scan results so hopefully its good news but have received a letter saying the bone people want to see me the end of September that even sounds better than i was expecting as its for a bone density scan possibility of osteoporosis much better than bone mets xx

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Morning daisydi 

I actually take letrozole and the hot sweats I was getting seemed to ease after the first month thank god but I'm not sure really if its was the herceptin or tablets still get some now and again but I feel they are brought on by anxiety xx

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Morning all and Trixielady nice to hear from you.  I am feeling so much better.  Think Ive worked out the sleeping issue as last night when I woke up instead of stressing and looking at the clock I just turned over and fell back to sleep.  Although not ideal it is so much better.  Didnt actually get out of bed until 6.30 and then went back until 8.30 which is my kind of normal getting up time now.   Feel so much better and ready to face the world.  Does anyone know how long the hot sweats last on Anastrazole or will it be forever?  Its amazing what tiredness actually does to you physically and mentally and as long as I get some sleep I can cope.

Hope you all have a great Sunday.  The sun is shining again here and looking forward to a nice dog walk after seeing my mum.

 

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Re: February 2019 chemo starters

Morning lovely ladies 

Well its doesn't matter where we are when we're aren't well, I'm so glad to be home and really disappointed in myself!! but I have realised for some reason the stairs are a big factor in my breathlessness and aches and pains!!

For some reason probably chemo brain I'm really struggling to keep up with all your health issues but always thinking about each and everyone of you, so big hugs giving love and strength to continue to deal with this barry thing and good luck for those trying to return to work.

Marlyn where actually are you from again?? Xx