Daisydi, Pringles are pretty salty maybe it’s that that your body is craving. I remember having terrible nausea during pregnancy , the only thing that I craved and that really helped was really strong ginger beer. Didn’t know the link between ginger and the way it can help nausea until I went to see a herbalist. I was just giving my body what it was telling me to.
Anyway, MBJ enjoy your cruise.
Susieb , sure all will be well. Thinking of you.
Nettie, I wish I was better at crying and letting things out, spent my whole life being the ‘strong one’ and the one who gets sh*t done. Glad you felt better after .
Rosina , really love the new cut and the mindset.
Today spent around the house. Had my book group meeting in the afternoon. Had an intensive listening session of the book on Audible before the meet up.
Id like to do an online book group. Was wondering if any of you lovely lasses would be interested in joining me. Let me know.
Love and big hugs to everyone.
Some pics for you.
if Susie is having a full clearance as she says she is , she will probably have a drain put in.,
I think she will be very tired by the time she gets back home.
I am thinking of her too.
Looks like we all are.
Edinbird, hope you’re taking it easy.
Keep the fluid intake up.
Just a quick pop in to see if we have any news yet from Susie.....
Hope all is going smoothly
Edinbird so relieved you have got some antibiotics on the go. You have been so through much already you really don’t need any more problems eh? Xxx
The oncologist gave me a slap on the wrist for not calling the chemo line... but he was happy to give me antibiotics provided my bloods were good. So impromptu bloods done (given I’d barely drunk anything was surprisingly easy) and sent away with the pills with a phone call should I be neutropenic. No call yet and did bloods about 11... he didn’t think I would be after 10 days of injections.
So I not only have five days of antibiotics but I also have another nice jug of contrast dye to take yummy! 😝😂 thought I was getting an injection of dye but no just this to drink. That’s better only one needle in me today.
Walking to the hospital was a real effort though. At least I get to sit and relax with my lovely liquid! Thinking of you Susie hope you’re out and recovering well xx
Bit late in joining you this morning. Had to go and buy some new slippers because I stood in cat poo! Ew! Trouble with having wood effect floor is it disguises the poop although the smell should have alerted me.
I definitely need a rest day as I was super grumpy while I was out. People kept cutting me up or walking into me. Was starting to think I was invisible or maybe it was the scary wig 😂🤣. Then in M&S I broke out into a nasty sweat while standing in the queue waiting to pay. Was glad to get back home, and yes the wig came off straightaway. Coffee and almond croissant consumed....and breathe.
Anyway, I'm sorry this is a late message to you, Susie but I hope you have gone down to theatre by now. Thinking of you and hope it's all done soon so you can eat!
Also a belated happy cruising, MBJ. Enjoy every minute and relax.
Rosina, that's a beautiful picture of you. Love the hair. I was going to wait another 5 weeks to get mine cut but I might have to bring that date forward now I've seen your lovely locks.
Nettie, those nasty injections are enough to make anyone cry. I would always shout Oh no! as my alarm went off to remind me. Keep ticking them off and thinking that's one less now. You are so close to the chemo finish line. Hang in there.
Edinbird, hope you get the earache sorted. Good luck with your busy day today.
Marlyn, hope the new creams are helping to relieve the soreness. How many sessions left now?
Hope everyone else is having a good day.
Susie, I hope you are well away with the fairies by now. Thinking of you constantly and imagining that bloody gremlin getting kicked into touch.
Rosina, you look gorgeous. Xxxx
Susie, it's now 12 so here's hoping your now in theatre serving eviction papers to the gremlin.....he can shrivel up and die.....xxxxx
big earrings (my favourite old pair) , big smile, make up ( eyebrows given some TLC) and a colour that suits me :
Edinbird get that ear checked 💕
Surprising what can magically happen when you mention the C word, cancer or chemo. Hope both apps go ok xxxx
Well it's 9:35 and I'm not having surgery until around 11:00😭😭☹☹. Going in 2nd. There's only 2 of us in this ward. Yeovil uses the facilities in the Women's Hospital on a Friday if the theatre is free. On the plus side I've got the ward to myself at the moment. There has to be a positive. Also I can catch up with you all.
Edinbird be careful of that ear. Get it checked out as Nettienoo suggests.
Rosina, sales can be fun but sometimes you can see why stuff hasn't sold. Shoes are my guilty pleasure too. Can't have too many pairs👟👠👡👢☺.
MJB thinking of you as you set off on your travels. I'm hungry already and need a drink, of water, but a Bacardi and coke would go down rather well at the moment 🥃.
I mentioned we went to Disneyland Florida a couple of times but didn't tell you that the first time in August 2004 we got hit by hurricane Charlie. That was an experience not easily forgotten. We went at Easter the second time in 2006.
Marlyn, thanks for the heads up on what we should and shouldn't be putting on our skin in the rads zapping area. Wonder why they don't prescribe the creams that can help or at least warn us of what not to use. Glad to hear the area is beginning to heal.
Implausible love the baby cleaner. Paul did suggest using a broom stick too to push it around. I'll leave it to you ladies to decide where the handle should go!
Rosina lovely photos. I've only had kale once in Iceland served crispy with a meal. Couldn't make out if I liked the taste or not. May try some in a salad sometime if I can get hubby to grow some. At the moment we're going through the lettuce and have recently picked our garlic which is now plaited together and hanging to dry. Strawberries, tomatoes, cucumber beans and other stuff to come. Must stop talking about food, I'm getting hungry now.
Hope those of you who haven't popped in for a while are ok, Trixielady, Sandra and Veronica, Stargazer1, Deano and anybody else I may have forgotten.
As for me at the moment the anxiety levels have dropped a bit. They went up when surgeon and aneathatist came round for a chat but not too bad now. That'll change when they come to collect me later. I'll probably start to cry my eyes out😭😭😭😭. Paul was here for a while but I sent him back home in the end. I've spoken to him on the phone since.
Anyway, take care all of you. I'll let you know how things go when I am able. In the meantime it's good riddance Gremlin, time to Barry off🐲🐲🐲🐲.
P S. Definitely having total nodal clearance☹
Just waiting to see the oncologist. I have a GP appointment at 4 about my ear so don’t worry Nettie! Initially they had no appointments until Monday so I asked for a call back and dropped the chemo word and I got a call in 10 mins (just as I was about to brush my teeth!) and an appointment magically materialised... hoping it’s nothing too bad 🤞
Had to stop myself from eating it as it’s for lunch! I toasted pumpkin seeds and walnuts ( no pistachios in da house).
Note how the kale goes a darker green and the olive oil makes it glisten. The mango juice, lemon juice and pinch of salt all add to the flavours.
MBJ , have a fab cruise. Take note of any healthy food recipes you may come across 🤗
Edinbird, I had an ear infection cycle 3. No temp so just carried on taking paracetamol for about 3 days and it got worse and infected my glands in my neck. Finally succumbed to a visit to the assessment unit and got antibiotics and a telling off for not coming sooner. I know you have a lot going on but I think you should make the call sooner rather than later sweetie. Xxx
Good luck Susie!!!! It’s quarter to 8 so you’ll already be there! Bye bye gremlin good riddance! I’ll have to keep checking for you to emerge.
About to get up and embark on my grand day of stuff. I have a sore ear to top it all off, paracetamol helped to sleep through it. But im
concerned it’s getting worse so I think I will have to try and do something about it 😞 don’t want to call the helpline again. Another thing to worry about
woke up early and then decided to go on my iPad and look at the sales !
Madness, but I do love a sale !!! I also like shoes, and I also like looking at what I can live without 🤪 some horrible colours/patterns/ designs go into the sales and I would not want them even if they were free !
SusieB everything will be fine today.
Nettienoo, it’s my party and I will cry if I want to - so cry when you feel the need. I hate the jabs too (didn’t even want to look at them in the beginning) I had H1 do them for me. Then when he wasn’t around I had to do one myself and now I do the deed whether he is here or not 😬
When I felt really bad on the horse tranquiliser I watched ‘Diana - in her own words ‘ on Netflix ( I was a big fan of hers in my teens , collected every photo, got my mums friends and relatives in the UK and Australia to send me clippings , magazines etc.my friends were into Duran Duran and Wham but it was Princess Di for me. )
and allowed myself to feel jolly miserable - and this is OK.
The next day I felt much better and walked.
Implausible , a friend of mine wants to see ‘Rocket Man’ so there is another one on my list . Apparently it’s better than ‘Bohemian Rapsody’ which we both loved. Would you agree?
SusieB I will get round to posting a picture of myself ( I am so hoping it can be my last chemo treatment next week- the bald patch on my crown is covered with baby fuzz ) .
What else, art therapy today. I know I will paint.
Got a fleeting image of rose hips as I meditated.
How does a rose feel after it’s petals have dropped?
No rain 🤗
ASDA chocolate ( the finest , dark, ).
Equadorian £1.50 for a bar tastes delicious.
💕. Big Hugs.
Suzie B good luck for tomorrow I am sure they will look after you really well. Take care rest, and try to eat the food. I remember being starving after my surgery and eating a three course meal and taking photos of it and sending it to all my family and friends. That's what Tramadol does to you.
Nettienoo I hope you feel better tomorrow but a good cry is sometimes the best medicine. It must feel like it's all never ending and relentless.
Well we are packed and ready for the off tomorrow morning. Cats to cattery first, dog to friends the drive to Southampton should take about three hours or so depending on the traffic.
Wishing you all a good week if that's possible. Keep your spirits up which you all try your hardest to do. I might be able to send some pictures but if not will do when we get back. Xxxx
Just wanted to wish Susie good luck for tomorrow, 🍀🍀
MJB, have a fab trip.
nettinoo, I think sometime our families need to see us cry to know we are all still human, and a good cry does a world of good 💕💕
implausible, loves the baby mop, need to borrow a baby now 😂
Rosina, think I might try the kale recipe this weekend 😋
daisydi, sorry to hear your sisters children haven’t been in touch since your diagnosis, maybe they are frightened, they do say there is nothing stranger than families 😍
My friend popped round a card for me tonight
thought you ladies would
like it too xx
Rosina, I showed my vegan son the Kale recipe. He was very interested in the concept of massaging the kale. I hope gives it a try whilst he is here so I can try some as I showed it to my husband and he pulled a face. Probably looked far too healthy for his tastebuds. No chance of ever getting him to go veggie I’m afraid.
Had a bit of a melt down day today. Not been feeling good. Also just started on my 7 days of wbc injections and have grown to hate them now. The thought of doing them for a week again and the fact I still have another cycle to go through after this just really set me off. My poor son hasn’t seen me cry for a long time and he was quite worried. Thankfully, I gave myself a good talking to and I’m ok now, not so sure about my son though. 😞 I’ve probably traumatised him.
Wishing each and every one of you the best sleeps tonight. I’m going to listen to Yoga Nidra on my headphones to get me there hopefully. Xxxx
Marie have an amazing holiday. You so deserve a lovely break. Just switch off and enjoy every minute.xxxx
A quick catch up.
Implausible I can eat and drink until midnight and drink water until 6:00am. Sounds a bit little the film Gremlins, which is what my lump is named after. I need to be at the hospital by 7:30 and should be first on the list. I'll update you more about the lymphodeama machine when I know more, it is pretty new so medics may not be aware of it yet. Love the info regarding the rads, my 34C boobs could definitely do with a boost😊.
Sonia, love the slippers they would be ideal on some laminate flooring we have in our study and son's tv room otherwise known as the spare bedrooms.
Rosina would love to see the new haircut. Mine still looks like a teenage urangatang. Lymphodeama worries me too and ANC worries me as I think if Gremlin makes a return visit to left boob what will stop the cells travelling elsewhere. I don't think the worrying will ever stop, maybe just go further into the background.
Anyway on to happier things we love Disney (Florida) and would love to return sometime.
Take care everyone. Thanks for all your good wishes for tomorrow. I'll catch up when I can. Enjoy your cruise MJB🚢 xxxxxxxxx
Implausible, the kale salad is really delicious. It has chopped raw mango in it 🤗 also you have to ‘ massage ‘ the kale in olive oil and lemon juice for about 5 minutes ( this breaks down the fibres) it is also good fun. Pinch of salt.
The salad tastes even better the next day ( store it in the fridge) as the olive oil/ lemon juice dressing works on the kale even more.
I also add toasted pistachios and flame raisins. It really is delicious.
I went to my hair dresser this afternoon and got myself tidied up - no more William Winks for me 🤪
I walked home without out head covering because I don’t care anymore about what others think , and I went into ASDA and I couldn’t care less what the others thought either. Feeling very good about myself.
As the ‘Greatest Showman ‘ film says : this is me ! 🤗
Hello all thought I'd better check in with all the crazy sisters aunts and cousins. Im feeling a bit weary but not too bad, yet. Sonia I bought some slipper mops a couple of years ago but unfortunately the novelty wore off very quickly when I kept slipping over! Be careful. Wish I could say I like ice hockey so I could join in the Sarahs gang but I dont know the first thing about it. Would be lovely for you two to meet up doing something you both love. I get very emotional at the thought of meeting you all but we must make it happen one day. And yes Maryln you can definitely be the mad aunty. That's what I was to my sisters children (the one who passed away in a diving accident) but unfortunately since October when I told one of them about my bc diagnosis I have not heard from any of them. I am so disappointed but not surprised as they hardly came to see mum when she became ill although my mum and I were very very close to the kids and really looked after them after their mum died. I cannot get my head round it really but I just think they cant tolerate any more upset in their lives. Anyway enough about that. I agree Sarah that I wish they would be more consistent with their advice on r/t creams. Surely its better to stop a problem occurring rather than trying to heal it afterwards. Not sure what I am going to do yet. Have my planning on 12th July so will see what they say. When I went to my LGFG course there was an ex nurse who had just finished r/t a week before and it had brought on lymphodema so of course I am now paranoid about that too. There's always something else to worry about isn't there?
Hope everyone is ok. Take it easy x
Oh and wishing Susie B the very best of luck for tomorrow. It will be over before you blink x
OK - so we have a pile of fussy aunts, including at least one mad one, plus a super cool young cousin He will be delighted/terrified!
Edinbird, hope you have managed to get some rest today as tomorrow sounds like a crazy one!! I reckon if you do end up at the cinema at the end of all that, you'll end up falling asleep. Of the 4 films I've seen over the last month, I had a little doze off in 2 of them There is something about sitting in a comfy chair in the dark....
Seaside - you get some rest too! I am also absolutely wiped out today after a couple of days of doing way too much way too soon. We don't learn, do we?? Annoyingly I'm stuck in the office till 6, when all I want to do is lie down and sleeeeeeeeep. Thankfully no work tomorrow. I plan to do NOTHING.
So excited for your daughter, really, I'd live in the Disney parks if I could Until I was in my mid 20s I was so sneeringly cynical about the whole Disney thing but then my ex mother in law offered to bankroll us over to Orlando (this was about 1993, it was so much cheaper then!) as a treat for my big lads who were then pre-school age. Oh my goodness it was truly magical!! To the extent that we then went back for a month every autumn for the next 8 or so years (until the marriage ended and I couldn't afford it any more on my own money). I have managed to get back out there twice since, and once to California Disneyland, plus 4 or 5 trips to Paris along the way. I'd love to tick Tokyo off the list one day!
Sorry your doc was not very helpful re rads Sounds like you are having the same regime as me, 3 weeks zapping all the general area and lymph nodes and then a week of "boost" to where the tumour used to be. Which reminds me, my onco's letter about it made me laugh:
The type I'm having is called Surface Guided Radiotherapy (SGRT)
I wonder if that's another name for the same thing you are having?
This is the blurb on the hospital website:
SGRT uses sophisticated 3D camera technology to accurately target and kill cancer cells.
• During your treatment, cameras monitor your exact position to make sure the radiation is precisely targeted
• The treatment area receives the maximum dose of radiation therapy. The surrounding healthy tissue receives a much lower dose. This reduces the risk of side-effects
• SGRT is often used to enable DIBH treatment for left-sided breast cancer with the benefit of minimising dose to the heart
Unlike some other forms of radiotherapy, SGRT means you don’t need to have any permanent markings (tattoos) made on your body.
I hope they give you a start date soon. Do they not realise how important that is so we have something to focus on and plan around??
I've also got my season ticket sorted - see you in Sept/Oct!
Susie - oh no, sorry you are feeling under the weather I hope that start-of-a-sniffle buggers off in time for tomorrow! Hope all goes brilliantly. We are all cheering you on xx
Are you in early tomorrow? Most importantly, when can you eat/drink until? That is always the most important thing for me before surgery! The no food I'm ok with but I hate to be thirsty, so I drink lots of water right up until final drinking cut off.
And when you are back here chatting after, I'd love to hear more about that lymphodoema machine, I mentioned it to my doc the other day and he said he hadn't heard of anything that gives advance warning..... he was intrigued and so am I! I must admit I can really notice that I haven't done my arm exercises for the past 3 days as have been so busy with work, it is really feeling heavy and uncomfortable now I MUST do them tonight before bed and get back to twice a day from tomorrow.
Sonia, I really do love the mop slippers I think you might be one of the mad aunts too!
Rosina - the concept of kale being something that the whole family likes rather throws me I eat the stuff, and have found some ways to make it more tolerable than others. But I don't think I would ever claim to "like" it, and the thought of persuading anyone else in my family to eat it is, well, let's say it would be a non starter.....
I've always driven over to Eurodisney rather than go by rail - I do really like the sound of the band serenading you onto the train though!
Marlyn - I'm so annoyed for you that you literally basted yourself for days and got your rads off to such an unpleasant start. They really ought to advise better which types of creams are a yes and which a no, and which to put on before and which after. You can't be the first person this has happened to but it was so preventable!
Glad it is healing up though.... x
Nearly 5pm now..... 1 hour till I can go home. yaaaaawwwwnnnnnnnnnnnnn
I did ponder showing you all said bleeding boob ( obvs a discreet pic) but thought it may be removed as inappropriate content??
I think we are all amazing ladies, I know we may not feel it some days but we are.....
i plausible....your son defo has a loads of new aunts......I bagsie being the mad one...lol xxxx
Just back from rads and I thought I would show you the gel and dressings I got today. Thenurse saw the bleeding boob today and said it's healing......( good to know)
so for me slathering on the E45 under the boob area was a no no.....as you already know I was basically basting myself.....
My elbow behaved today......I don't get a choice of where to put my arms, the rads people position me....
good luck tomorrow Susie love.....it will be done before you know it!
now....let's see if I am post me pic xxxx
Fingers crossed for you SusieB for tomorrow.
I have been for a walk with H1 to allotment and park.
Town later on.
Got kale from the allotment for a salad that we all like , see above.
I also like to throw in some raisins or toasted pistachio nuts.
Park was wet and blustery.
Walking in the rain is ok too. I like the sound on the leaves above my head.
I have only been to Eurodisney with the kids when they were little. Good memories right from the Disney band that plays at Kings Cross before you board the Eurostar train. It was a permanent sugar rush after that.
Florida must be amazing.
Corfu has lovely beaches and Corfu town is lovely all year round.
Seasidesar your kids are lucky.
Enjoy the peace and quiet 🤗
Thought you would like to see my new purchase, as I can’t do as much house work as I would like, I’ve bought myself a pair of mop slipper, my household think I’ve gone crazy, maybe I have.
What a wet and miserable morning🌧🌧☹. Well operation day for me tomorrow and I'm keeping everything crossed that it will go ahead🤞🤞. I woke up on Monday with a sore throat and swollen glands, the usual signs that I am fighting something. Ended up going to bed and sleeping yesterday afternoon. Anyway throat feels better although I've got a sniffle and ears feel a bit blocked. Taken meds for sinus etc. Temperature is normal so hoping I'll be good to go tomorrow.
Edinbird I had pre op stuff done a few weeks ago just before we went to Aix but I think stuff will be done tomorrow, blood pressure and heart rate. I think they'll get a reading done on the machine that will check for signs of lymphodeama in the future so that comparisons can be made.
Oooopps, got to go hubby has just come back from doing a bit of food shopping and wants me to check out what he's bought. Take care everyone xxxxxx
Good morning my beauties,
I am feeling absolutely pooped today. I've done that classic thing of running around on nervous energy, seeing my kids off on their travels and now I'm paying for it. Still, I can rest now as the house is empty. Daughter arrived safely in Florida and is spending a few days with her aunt, uncle and cousins in Jacksonville before heading to Disney. Once there, she gets a couple of weeks training and then she will be based in merchandise in Epcot. She may get to move around some different stores and parks depending on whether other people want to swap shifts at any time. She seems happy now that she has arrived and I couldn't be more pleased for her. She is Disney mad so she can totally induldge as she gets free park entry on her days off, as well as a staff discount on all the Disney goodies she wants to buy.
In other news, I had my rads meeting yesterday, which I actually found a bit frustrating as I didn't get the information I wanted. The doctor was effcient to the point of being abrupt and when I asked a question, he said I would have another meeting next week where I will get the answers. All I know at the moment is that I will have 20 sessions over 4 weeks at a private hospital in MK. The first 3 weeks of radiation will be on the left boob and the gland above it and the final week will concentrate on where the tumour was. I was told to practise holding my breath for 30 seconds, which I do find a real struggle, but I guess it saves a lot of time if I am able to do that straightaway in my appointments.
The doctor and BC nurse assured me that radiotherapy will be a walk in the park and all that might affect me is a bit of tiredness. Mmmm, we'll see. Having said that, the doctor then rattled off a list of side effects, such as soreness, cracking skin (Ouch, Marlyn you can vouch for this!), scarring, stabbing pains, numbness (in lymph node clearance zone)...Right, so a real walk in the park! My main frustration is that I wanted a start date but I don't even have that. They said worst case scenario 15th July but should be earlier. So I'll wait to hear more next week.
Oh and apparently they use the intensity modulated radiotherapy and image guided radiotherapy. Did you mention these are used where you are having yours, Sarah? Does that mean I don't need tattoos?
As for us meeting at an ice hockey game, too right! I've got my season ticket sorted and I've got family in Swindon so I will be there for the away games. Exciting!
Anyway, how are all you ladies doing today?
I've enjoyed looking at your photos, Ocean. Truly lovely.
Sonia, I hope you're feeling a bit better. It is annoying when it takes a meltdown to spur our nearest and dearest into action but at least it worked.
Rosina, it sounds like your school is a great supportive place and your visit did you good. That's lovely.
The rain today is not enticing me out of the house so I am going to sit and do a jig saw puzzle.
Have a good day everyone.
Aw Sarah tell Connor he has one auntie who is younger and more like a cousin (no offence to everyone but I’m the baby!!)
Need to get up and work but the plumber got here early so I’m stuck in bed with no access to hairbands! Hoping he is less than an hour and I can wing it but I need food and drink and I have a phone call at 10!! Might just have to brave it. Once I’m in the lounge it doesn’t matter but I need my dressing gown which is also elsewhere...
Have a spot in my left ear of all things which is making it ache too. Feel tired I just cannot sleep at the moment. Legs still ache a bit at night. Luckily husband is working from home so I can have a lazy day even if I’m working. Tomorrow is so busy... oncologist at 10.15, in to work and also collecting a present for my brother in law from a friend, CT scan at 1, then home and changed for a work leaving do at 5 and then might go to the cinema! Not sure if I’ll manage it all. It’s tiring me just to think about it!
Hope everyone has a lovely day - the horrible rain finally got us yesterday and it’s still tipping down now so maybe a few lazy days. Susie do you have any pre op stuff today or is it all done until tomorrow?
Yes Connor, we are all coming to meet you and give you a big sticky lipstick kiss on your cheek like Aunties do! 💋💋💋😂😂😂😂 ......bet that gets him hiding in his bedroom! X
Have a good night’s sleep Everyone.
I woke up, got a drink ( Ribena) and read up on all the posts.
I also had to check the Forum.
Feeling blessed to have you all out there.
Sisters is exactly right.....
When I was passing on to Connor all your best wishes about his new job, he was all "who exactly are all these women again?" (he isn't used to me having lots of female pals as I am such a tomboy and mainly hang out with lads) ..... and I said to him that he now has 15 or so new aunties and he might as well get used to it as I think they are sticking around
I’m reading the posts bit by bit as stinking headache still.
The more I read the more I realise how truly blessed I am to know you all. So many life experiences shared good and bad. So many of you triumphing over adversity and proving how kickass awesome females can be. You make me feel like you are the sisters I never had, sharing so open and honestly. I really can’t wait to meet you all.......it will happen, I just know it.
Might be back on in a few hours, “roids” 😉kicking in nicely.
Night night for now. Xx
Oh gosh - I've been too busy to even check on you lot today and I've missed you all so much!
Apologies to those of you with work troubles, but I have to admit that I've had two super full on work days which I've enjoyed so incredibly much!! I've barely had enough spare seconds to grab a glass of water or take a pee break, it's been hard work, lots of meetings, lots of having to think on my feet, lots of problem solving, all delightfully stressful. It has made me feel more alive than I have in months I was so annoyingly hyper in the weekly team meeting that my boss asked if he could have some of the drugs I'm on, I pointed out that this is me finally getting the drugs OUT of my system, and my natural vivaceousness working its way back to the surface and then the big boss chimed in with "well personally I think you've sat around at home on your arse quite long enough", the cheek
So - while I'm waiting for my tea to cook, let me catch up with you lot and your 30,000 posts since I was last here
Better start with the heavy stuff to get it out of the way, I'm really touched that this is such a lovely, accepting group that people have been prepared to share stories about the last great big taboo that is domestic violence. I knew it had to have touched a good few of us as it is so insanely common, but it's a subject that still has so much stigma and shame attached to it that research shows it is one of the last things discussed even in groups of all female friends. I'd say that was crazy if I hadn't been there myself.
I'm not going to share my story in any great detail on here because, quite frankly I don't want to bring the mood down (because, you know, we've all already got cancer to worry about ), but I can say that it was extreme and was a daily occurrence for over 10 years, and it very nearly killed me, and in that time I never told a soul. Well, that's not strictly true, I attempted to involve the police on a number of occasions, eventually giving up when they consistently made things worse not better. And I also told my mother, who told me in no uncertain terms that if I was only a better wife, my husband wouldn't need to beat me and worse. So, yeah, I stopped trying to tell people. I became one of those "silly me I walked into the cupboard door again" people..... and that was largely because, thanks to being essentially brainwashed over many years I really did 100% believe my mum, I believed it was my fault..... And now I'm 20 years out of the situation, the shame is still there because unless people have been in the same situation, they simply can't understand why it took you so long to leave, and so you feel like an idiot for the rest of your life....
It's a nasty, complicated, messy thing. And in the years I worked for Refuge I saw a lot I'll never unsee. And my own experiences took a fair bit of therapy to recover from.
One thing, though, in the spirit of "what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger", it has certainly helped me deal with subsequent difficulties throughout the rest of my life. I've not at ALL enjoyed the physical side effects of all this chemo nonsense, for example, and have had my down days of course, but generally I've been fairly positive throughout it all - and I totally put that down to the fact that I've been through way worse than this. And at least throughout this journey everyone I meet is on my side, you lot, family and friends, work (mainly ), all the medical staff- I feel like I have a HUGE squad of cheerleaders. Throughout my marriage literally nobody was on my side. My husband was trying to kill me, people I turned to for help (police, mum) threw it back in my face. I've never felt so desperate or alone, and it went on for ever. Breast cancer is a flipping walk in the park compared to that.
So yes - I hear all your stories, and any yet untold, and you have all my love and all my sympathy and may none of us ever suffer at the hand of someone who pretends to love us, ever again.
Right - that's quite enough of that!!!!
Rosina - just wanted to say that you totally have my sympathy with the dive bombing parrot, not surprised you wanted him out of the room! My gran had a budgie (don't laugh!) who , by all accounts, hated my guts One day when I was little he launched himself at me, and stuck his claws right into my skull, and then got stuck in there! He was flapping to get free, I was screaming the house down....in the end they had to get my cousin to run up the street to get the vet to come down and extract the bird from my head. I've been a little wary of house birds ever since, if a parrot flew at me full speed I think I would faint
Glad you had a nice time today with your class and managed to hold in the farts Those kids would have made so much fun of you if you had let a loud one go, they are merciless My injection reminder is even more street - it says "jab yo'self" That's a point - I don't have to do any of those any more!! yay!!!! hopefully your last one is soon too
Seaside - you mentioned a meet up - I definitely want a big meet up with all of us, but you know full well you won't be able to avoid bumping into me I'll be at the first MKL away game next season for sure! Just try to stop me
I bet your daughter must be so excited to go to work for Disney - does she know yet what she will be doing and where? A good friend of mine - also from Milton Keynes actually - was a cast member at Epcot for 3 years. She is originally from Mexico and was a ride attendant at the Mexican pavilion in the World Showcase - she met her hubby to be there, as he was a Brit working in the UK bit - hence her ending up in Milton Keynes She still says they were the best 3 years of her life, she loved every second of it. I'm sure your daughter will also have a wonderful time. And hopefully she will be in touch with you often so you don't miss her tooooo much.
Susie - I hope you are as ready as you can be for Friday, we are all SO with you. You will wonder afterwards what you were so worried about, I promise x
At least you will be in a nice comfy dry hospital while your poor son is in a tent in the middle of a waterlogged field I can joke on his behalf as I have been to more "drownloads" than I can count. My first was in 1986 when it was still called Monsters of Rock, and most recent was the year before last. Despite being in June, which you'd think would give at least a chance of half decent weather, it is wet there more often than it is nice. Yet we keep going back, gluttons for muddy punishment! (I'll confess though that I haven't actually camped there in years, too old for that now, I either just go up for the day or stay in a local hotel)
and for a totally different reason, MBJ I hope you are all ready for Friday too! Have a flipping WONDERFUL time on your cruise!!!
(I'm doing all the Friday best wishes early as tomorrow is likely to be another busy old work day and I might not get the chance to pop on)
Daisydi - congrats on post 5000 - yay! you definitely deserved it after chemo #6 and I'm so happy to hear that your itchy spots are healing nicely. Such a relief - in every sense!
Edinbird I am so, so happy about your tiny shrunk lil' lump 11mm is like a little fingernail, so small - great to hear that the chemo did its job shrinking it down, and in just a couple of weeks it will be gone for good. It's also nice that they are giving you a decent recovery period before rads so you will be able to celebrate your birthday in style feeling so much better. Great result all round!
Nettie - what a palaver with your chemo #5 (oh heaven help me I've now got "chemo number 5" going round my head to the tune of "mambo number 5"!!! - at least it might finally dislodge "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" which has been stuck in there on a loop since I saw that Elton John movie...) - hope you have felt better as today progressed
I did laugh at the thought of all the nurses eyeing up your son I don't suppose they get many handsome younger men visiting the unit! must have been like that Diet Coke break ad.....
Trixie - oh, your post made me want to give you - and everyone - a huge squeeze. I know what you mean, the whole ongoing prognosis thing is the elephant in the room, the thing none of us want to think about, let alone talk about. And to be honest it is easy to ignore it while we are going through the day to day barrage of treatment and side effects.... I can share what my doc has told me - that following surgery, if I hadn't had any further treatment, my chances of recurrence were around 34%. Chemo, rads, hormone treatment all bring that down to about 20%. That's ever. Can't remember the exact stats for 5, 10, 15 years but it was something like 4%, 9%, 12%..... The way I look at it, I've thrown everything I can at it (or will have done by the time the rest of the treatment is done), and that leaves me with pretty decent odds of not having to go through all this again, it is a lot more likely not to come back than come back, I'm happy with that. Worrying about it won't make a blind bit of difference to whether or not it recurs, so I might as well (try to) not worry.
And if it DOES come back? that's not the end either, I know a few people who have had BC 2 or 3 times, and recovered, and have been in remission living happy and healthy lives for a while. I'd really rather it doesn't come back because oh boy I don't ever want chemo again!!!! But what will be will be......
I know there are those of us in here with better stats and those with worse but for all of us we have at least half-reasonable odds of still being here for a very, very long time yet. And I'm sure that once we feel better in ourselves once all the chemo fog has lifted and we have our energy back and we settle into our "new normal", that we will be able to enjoy life again without the dreaded cancer word taking up so much head space. At least most of the time....
And at least it's nice to have a good excuse for not cleaning out the cupboards! I hope you are ok after your trip to hospital! I am a bugger for overdoing things as soon as I feel remotely better, I must heed your warning and try to take things a little easier.....
Ocean! just when I think you can't possibly have any more amazing photos for us, you outdo yourself!! And you stay in your dressing gown as long as you jolly well want
I didn't know you were a therapist by trade, you always come across so calm and understanding on here, I think you must be an excellent one. And I totally agree with how life changing good therapy can be, but also that you sometimes have to kiss a few frogs before you find the right one
Marlyn - so sorry you have had a bad day with the vertigo That must be very unpleasant, especially since you couldn't just stay home and recover, but had to go to rads regardless. I'm glad they were gentle with you, and hope tomorrow is better x I feel sorry for your bleedy booby
Sonia too - sounds like you are in the wars Feet up, take it easy, and let that lazy child work I always feel guilty when I snap and yell at mine too, but like you say, it works! And they finally pull their finger out. If only they would do that BEFORE we get to breaking point??
(having said that, mine has actually done the dishes unprompted for 3 days on the trot! what's that about??? he must be after something )
Right - I think that's everyone who has been on over the last couple of days
Hope the quiet ones who aren't on that round up are ok xxx
I'm off to watch episode 5 of Years and Years which will no doubt be horribly depressing, and then hit the sack before round 3 at work tomorrow
Night all x