Hi all xx
Ive been down too. Enjoyed my cheese and wine last night but I felt really wobbly after and then my temperature went up to 37.4 so panic stations... took it every time I woke and it went down a little bit not enough to stop being anxious. Then I forced myself on my friend (not literally but he was feeling rubbish too) and we had a big row when I left. Did the shopping and got so hot and bothered that I just came home dumped the shopping and cried. Cancelled another friend coming this afternoon as I didn’t want to see anyone.
So felt foolish eventually as bestie apologised after a few hours and the other friend came and left me these on the doorstep. I needed to eat and drink for my steroids but I didn’t so I took them at 5... tonight will be fun but I couldn’t not have them. Now I feel just meh. Oh and the flipping stomach ache had gone all day and now it’s back... maybe it’s stress related. Today needs to Barry off. I actually wish it was tomorrow so I can just get on with the poisoning. What has life come to when you want your chemo?!
The cat is the card btw. Mad 🤪😊
At Marseille airport 🙁. Stopping over at Heathrow tonight, so hills not quite over. Sorry some of you are having a rough time on T. I got a bit down a couple of times in the morning and I haven't had chemo for over 4 weeks. All part and parcel of Barrying bc I suppose. Went round a couple of vineyards yesterday🍷🍷🍾🍾🥂🥂. Nice to get to see more of Provence. Will catchup Monday or Tuesday. Take care everyone ❤❤❤❤❤
I walk every day Rosina. It is my one promise to myself I try not to ever break. Even when my legs are complaining. The hailstones the other day did stop me though I admit but luckily the weather is now much improved! Managed my 10k steps yesterday and the day before. Should hit target again today.
Sorry your pal let you down x
Have just had a good self pity weep and now I feel much better. Sometimes you just need to get things out of your system....
Daisy I'm kind of glad I can "blame" my mood on T as it is rather out of character for me to be so mopey!
Onward and upward....
if you can get out for a walk do it.
I was supposed to be walking with a friend to day .
I have called her and texted ( no response) instead of getting annoyed I am going out.
I have known her for years she isn’t dependable.
She is kind hearted but totally unreliable.
I could get cross instead I choose to walk alone ( not even the kids want to come and H1 is in London).
PS remember one foot in front of the other. 5 minutes. You can do it . I am doing it NOW 🤪
Morning all. Sarah one of the oncology nurses told me that T can make you a bit depressed so you are probably feeling normal for T. Add covered in scabs and spots to your list of how you feel and that pretty much sums me up too! The sun is shining. Have a nice day xx
Sorry you've been feeling down but please don't worry about letting off steam on here. We all need to from time to time and I can totally understand how rubbish you must have felt for having to cancel your trip.
Your art work is pretty fab though! You're very talented.
Your oncologist hasn't done you any favours with that response! Wow, what a way to reassure you. I hope he's wrong.
As for side effects from T, I have defo found them much worse and longer lasting than FEC. I'm still struggling with tastebuds - everything is soooo bland. Oh well, 2 more of the barrying things and then that's this part over and done with.
Enjoy the hockey later. I can't believe we're playing Canada! Go team GB!!
Sorry I've been AWOL for a bit, been feeling a little glum and didn't want to bring you lot down with me
I didn't make it to my friend's gallery show on Friday night as I was so tired and couldn't face the drive to Bristol and back past my bedtime.
And I spent most of yesterday sulking at the fact that I wasn't in Edinburgh as per original plans. Kind of glad I made the call not to go, though, as I'm way too energy deficient to have made the most if it.
Here is the exhibition in Edinburgh that I was planning to visit (a postcard sale for charity....1000 original artworks from all over the world):
To be honest I'm wondering how long the effects of this T stuff last??? With FEC by my good week I felt pretty much 100 percent back to normal. But with T almost 3 weeks later I am still achey, permanently exhausted, blurry eyed and fed up :/
My oncologist didn't help my mood much on Friday with this little exchange:
Me: " I really hope I don't end up back in the hospital this time"
Doc: "oh I think it is highly likely that you will"
And now you guys are telling me that even my deodorant is trying to kill me???
Anyway, on the plus side, it is wonderful to see Team GB reach the ice hockey world championships for the first time in 25 years! Their opening game yesterday vs Germany was really exciting to watch. And tonight we play Canada!!!
Also on the plus side, great to hear from and see you Ocean. You rock that look!!!! And all the flowers are so beautiful. Just what I needed. Thank you.
And here's hoping Olivia Newton John's magic blood test works!
Love to all
I did my stretches to this and then let it play on.
It is very calming and soothing.
Supposed to boost your immune system.
Good day to all.🌼
Morning lovely ladies,
How are you all doing today?
I think my trip to the seaside wiped me out as I spent most of yesterday vegged on the sofa watching the ice hockey world championships. I was also suffering with tummyache and by the evening had 5 bouts of diarrhoea. Not good! I'm ok now so really not sure what caused it.
Planning to have another lazy day today.
Have a good Sunday everyone.
Its a rock that looks a bit like crystal. Have a look on Amazon. Thats where I got mine from. Lasts for years apparently. Just wet the end and rub it under your arm. It defo works for me and I think I will be able to use it during radiotherapy too x
what do you mean by a crystal rock ?
Is this a brand name or an actual crystal???
I will be checking out lush and Holland and Barrett for deodorant alternatives.
Ladies, take a look at this https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7018137/New-breast-cancer-test-developed-Olivia-Newton-John...
Me too Rosina for years and years! Now I use a crystal rock. My sister has been using one over the last few years and I didnt believe it could work as I am quite a sweaty person but it does and now I wont use any kind of deodorant. I do eat eggs but not very often and I am probably eating more now than I ever have...
I have Just listened to this. I used to be an antiperspirant user ( sure 24 hours, dove) and I shaved my armpits.
I also eat eggs ( but not daily).
The antiperspirant info did upset me ☹️ Not going back to them and I have told my daughter.
This cream is gorgeous:
Not decided yet about the cleansing balm. I was in a rush to use it and I should have warmed it between the palms of my hands. It’s on the waxy side
Here are our plants waiting patiently for the garden make over. I think I need one of those gardening programmes to come and do it for me. Wouldn't that be great to come home to.
Having a day at home today for a change. Singing with Rock Choir tomorrow for the Swansea Race for Life. So today boring things like cleaning and ironing. I am trying to get into The Looming Tower from BBC2 but finding it a bit of a struggle.
Ocean21 I love your garden and flowered I have garden envy. We are still waiting for out ground team to come to do our driveway and level the garden. But we did get the levels done last week so maybe progress. We have bought some trees and plants that are now waiting patiently in pots to be planted poor things. I will post some pictures but first I will have to crop them as I forgot.
Hope you are all having a reasonable day. X
thanks for ‘Flower Bombing’ us.
My favourite tree is the Lime (Linden) tree. You can make a lovely herbal tea from the blossoms ( said to enable sleep).
Lilly of the Valley- what a gorgeous scent that is.
Iris - aristocratic flower- they extract a scent from the iris root ( I think) - beautiful to look at. I like the blowsiness of peonies but the scent is ‘interesting’ starts fresh and then turns into cats piss.
I am a massive lavender fan. So I expect pictures.
You are looking good ( may I add).
I have signed up for a morning of watercolour painting and flower meditation in June.
See the ‘bloom’ link.
Another idea for you and your gorgeous place 🤗
Trip to Smyths (who thought a shop full of kids was a good idea?!) Majestic (a shop full of wine - better idea) and Morrisons has knackered my legs. Stomach feels like it has a small balloon inflated inside it. Didn’t eat until just now and I feel rather odd... slept lots but might have to go up to rest until my aunt and uncle get here.
Not impressed! Come on body wake up shake up! Weather is nice so might be able to manage a rest under the blanket outside later hopefully. Feeling a bit useless tbh.
Ocean your photos are lovely, flowers and you! My hair is positively vile as I’m not washing til after chemo... maybe a job for Monday afternoon when I get home. I have been using Simple shampoo and conditioner the whole time. I find the headbands make my hair much more greasy actually, because there’s less of it it’s gathering into clumps at the moment! Yuck
Well, a short trip to B&Q has left me exhausted, I tend to forget I'm only week 3 from chemo 4, it's frustrating not bouncing back, so here I am flaked out on sofa getting my energy up ready for Tesco....
susie....you go girlie, bet your putting a smile on hubbys face...glad your having a lovely break xxx
ocean..great pics, you look beautiful....you give me serious eyebrow envy! Are they yours??? I'm glad T is ok....you may well be right with the lower dose theory xxx
sonia....when you say sprout wash do you mean water only? My chemo nurse said same....only move to shampoo when the hair gets stronger and is good and ready, I've been looking up YouTube videos of chemo hair growing, gives me so much hope...xxx
well ladies, as you all know I love every single one of you....hope today is treating you all kindly....we deserve it....xxx
Ladies I’ve been reading tea and chemo by Jackie Buxton, as I finally have the patience’s to read for more than a micro second.
She mentioned that baby shampoo strips the hair of it’s health, as it’s only designed not to sting eyes.
She said to use paraben- free products( this is what I’ve been using ) and when your hairs starts to grow/ sprout wash it daily as, as well as cleaning the scalp and hair follicles it encourages quicker hair growth.
I’m staying with washing less as I have still have lots of my old hair at the moment. I thought it was worth sharing xx
Hello there beautiful ones,
Don't know where the time has gone. I’m fine , do keep up with your posts. As per events and challenges continue at a pace with Feb starters
Started Taxol 2 weeks ago. Mine are weekly doses and I’ve been fine with them. I know that some of you have really struggled with it. Aside from individual differences , I wondering if my weekly small dose regime is why I seem to be fine on it. In the first week I had a couple of stomach cramps and mild nausea compared to what I experienced on EC. I can eat meals the same day as I’ve had treatment. On EC even the thought of food made me feel nauseous and it was around Day 10 before I eat properly. No joint pains either.
I have my treatment every Tuesday and after this weeks one , I ate when we got back home and did some gardening
Having said all that I’m still hypersensitive to smells and my eyebrows are looking very different. My blood results for my liver enzymes are looking much better and thankfully I’m not in the chronic alcoholic range these days!
Im still a baldy. Well done Sarah for braving the shave. Posting some pics in solidarity.
MBJ totally get what you’re saying about the public masks we put on in public. Makes others feel better but it’s not our reality or what they want to see or hear.Thanks SandrainDurham for the link.
Nettienoo , can’t remember if I said happy birthday if not , belated birthday greetings. Enjoy your caravan this weekend.
Marlyn, no more chemo! What a relief. Onwards.
Susie B , hope that Aix has been the welcome break you hoped for you sexy thang you
Rosina, always love your quotes ,keep the, coming.Sorry about the chin hairs sweet pea🙃🙃🙃I’m a hairy madam so no doubt I’ll be joining you!!!
Seasidesar, Broadstairs. I know it very well. Tim has a flat there.Looks like you were heading towards Stone Bay. We rented a property in Margate before relocating here. Love the place. Very hip and happening now. Wish I’d bought a proper There when my mind was telling me to but locals were telling me it was a dump! It would have been a great investment.
Everyone else, I know there have been some mighty challenges but we’ve all come so far and with such determination , I’m fiercely proud of all of us. 😘😘😘
Some pics for you.These days I take photos with you guys in mind ....or is that just another excuse to indulge myself...!!
MBJ rant away, I know exactly how you feel!
At first I could not bear the thought of seeing my daughter with no hair.
I kept hiding everywhere because I did not want her to see me crying.
I cannot even start to explain when I saw my child's body mutilated by the mastectomy and the horror of seeing her wound bleeding and leaking up to the point that it was soaking everything.
And I had to change dressing after dressing and all the time thinking about what she was feeling, how traumatised she was.
The unforgiveness of this monstrosity that goes beyond the illness, extended to a treatment that wipes out the self.
.... sorry, ranting here as-well.
Sorry, too much sun and wine, pressed post too soon. Have recorded Monty men and women to watch when I get home. Have seen the previous mens ones which were excellent. Had a lovely meal this evening, sat outside. Saw many of the fountains in Aix today. Marlyn, yes, took advantage of empty house this afternoon. TMI? Sorry
Thank you for the link. I know exactly what you mean the world does not want to see the brutality of how BC affects us. I always make an effort to look the best I can, makeup, wig, and people say oh you look great so well. Last night I spoke to some women in Rock Choir who were asking me how I was. Again they said you look great, I was telling them about having to stop chemo due to the side effects and how at 65 I felt the benefits were not significant enough to risk carrying on. Then oh gosh you are never 65, me oh yes I really am. Yes I know it's a lovely complement. But I said to them if you saw me without my wig and bra I would look 90. I know my logic is all to pot, because it's me that's putting on the makeup and wig to make myself look as good as I can . But sometimes I just want to say I have had a really tough time and this is what cancer does to you. But of course I don't. So this advert is not dressing it up and yes making it all lovely dovey and cute. Is black and raw just like Barrying BC.
Sorry rant over.
Finally getting round to watching ‘The All New Monty - Ladies Night ‘.
Enjoying it 👍
Thanks MBJ for telling us about it.
I am watching it on ITV hub
And hello to all my lovelies how are you coping with that ######## chemo?
Reaching now the end?
Can you see that lovely, sunny window on sight now?
Thank you to all that have left me messages, caring for me and my daughter, believe me, many nights reading this and crying my eye balls out!
And after many heart to heart conversations, Veronica has come to the conclusion that she cannot even hear about the university or the PhD!
She only took it because she was supposed to receive a scholarship and then they retrieved the offer after learning of her cancer. She was in complete despair due to 'the day after' (remember the film?)
By the way, she was doing a PhD on two neglected cemeteries in Newcastle for English Heritage because they are too cheap to pay someone to do it, but her real passion is Classics (finished her BA with honours and a special award for her dissertation) and she would love to do a PhD in Classical Reception, so I pushed, and pushed, and the best places for this would be Cambridge or Edinburgh and I will do whatever I can to:
- get a job there
- help her with an application
- move there and start a life (what amazing words 'start a life')
I have been so humiliated in Durham due to all our financial problems that I was left traumatised and completely convinced that I am too stupid to work anywhere, so, yes God, please, an opportunity in one of these two places?
Oh, Nettinoo mentioned hair regrowth and my ‘moustache’ is returning ( of all things ) I actually had to get the ‘No No ‘ out ( what a silly name for a moustache burning device) and zap it. H1 tells me that I am turning into a man ( my period didn’t arrive so I think that is it) as I already look like my Dad due to the bald patch.
Scaly skin is better - thanks sesame oil - I don’t want to look like an old crone YET, although apparently your nose and ears never stop growing.
Plastic surgery doesn’t appeal ( never has , or Botox or any of that stuff) just take a look at Sylvester Stallone’s mum😱
or Donatella Versace
thanks for the sunshine.
I think I might need a gap year, to try and visit all these places I have never been to!
Sar that looks lovely you must wish you had longer xx
The nurse got blood out of what is becoming my bad arm first time! Although she said it was slowing on the second vial. I asked if I could take her with me on Monday!
Hospital called a few hours later to run through for Monday, they never ever mention the bloods unless you ask always only concerned about your side effects. So they said all good to go. So will be steroided to the max Sunday onwards.
Work is doing my head in so I’m kinda glad to go sick! Just logged off for the week... got to find the inspiration to do a flexible work plan and maybe a note of interest for new jobs next week though, need to work out how far I go with laying on the disability I don’t want it to look like I can’t do the job... might have to speak to Macmillan about that.
I am very glad to hear that you have enjoyed your seaside break.
Now I want one too 🤗
Love all of your photos, feel like I have had a break just looking at them!
Hello lovely ladies,
I'm on my way home from Broadstairs now after a lovely couple of days. The weather was hit and miss but it didn't ruin our enjoyment. Just nice to have a change of scenery, especially of the seaside kind 😊
My friend's place is gorgeous and right near the beach so we made the most of it and had some lovely walks.
Eating out was tricky as I was only just heading into week 3 so I was wary of eating anything dodgy. On the first evening I was craving sausage and chips which didn't do me any good at all as I spent all evening on the toilet! Sorry, tmi.
Anyway, I was fine the next day and managed to eat out again last night without any problems.
I'll share a few photos but won't bore you with too many!
Catch up with you all later.
I was hoping to have a nice lie in this morning as was totally shattered after 3 whole days at work (that sounds a little pathetic but they were long days and quite busy)... but still woke at 6.
Never mind I've not actually got out of bed yet, I've just been lying here reading my book and chilling out. It is nice to actually be able to read again as during the worst of T my eyes were too blurry.
I don't now have to drive over to Oxford this afternoon, as my onco has cancelled that appointment. Instead he is going to call me at lunchtime. I'm a little miffed as was looking forward to actually getting to speak to him face to face for once. But on the plus side, it means I can go to see the Avengers movie later this afternoon after all
Talking of Marvel.... the flooring Nettie referred to below was this that MBJ spotted online and shared with me on Facebook:
It is ace! And I have ordered a sample. But I'm not keen on the high gloss finish.... also it is insanely pricey.
Tonight a friend of mine has a gallery show opening in Bristol. I'm hoping I have the energy to drive over there and back after the movie, to show him some support. Feeling so sleepy already today and I haven't done anything yet!!! Maybe that's why. I need to feed my mitochondria or whatever they were called
Lovely blue skies there in Aix, Susie. Enjoy!!!
And well done on passing your blood test this time Nettie. Enjoy your unexpected extra healthy weekend away in your caravan before it all starts up again on Monday. I'll be one day behind you as I'm due my next dose on Tuesday, bloods permitting.
Oh and I still say funky
And talking of bloods, good luck with yours today Edinbird
After you mentioned the early days of the thread I went back and looked at the first 4 pages or so. You are right that a lot of names have since disappeared. I hope they are ok. It is also fun to see the first timid hello posts from each of us It wasn't that long ago, but now I feel like you are all old friends who I've known for years!
love to all
Loving Aix. Warm and sunny😎. Haven't caught up with the gossip yet but will do. Take care everyone.
Well I didn’t get a call after bloods yesterday so it looks like I’m on for chemo 4 on Monday. Only 5 days delay this time so not so bad I suppose. As per usual I’m feeling a mixture of relief that I’ll be moving forward and fear and trepidation over what the next 3 weeks may bring. I’ve still got a bit of ear pain but am seeing Onco before chemo on Monday so will ask about it then.
MBJ, I think the short wig looks really funky (do people still use that word or am I showing my age? 😂).
Hi Paulus, tell us a bit about yourself. We love new names popping up/popping in.
Edinbird, you look amazing in any headgear, such a beautiful face. You can rock any look.
Susie, I’m glad you arrived in Aix safely. I can’t wait to see pics when you return.
Implausible, I’m kind of with you on the shiny finish to the floor but maybe you can put a finish on top to mattify it. It’s a bloody brilliant floor though isn’t?
Sonia, you have some hair growth? 🙌🏻 go girl!
Im not sure I’m imagining it but I think I may have a slight fuzz appearing..... might just be wishful thinking.
Marlyn, I’m glad your appt went well love. 😘
I should have been in Amsterdam this weekend with a group of friends, carrying on the 60th celebrations but we obviously had to postpone until after treatment. Nick and I have decided to venture out in the caravan to Love2Stay at Shrewsbury for the weekend. Weather is pants but a change of scenery will do us good and it will be the first time we have used the caravan since last October. I thought we ought to make the most of the treatment delay. I can’t remember what WiFi is like there so don’t worry if I go quiet over weekend.
I love you all so much my little warriors. Have the best weekend you all can. Here’s hoping for some sun. Xxxx
Thanks Rosina xx
Barely slept don’t know why... awake til gone 12 and then couldn’t settle after 4.30... so you know what I did? Read from the start of this thread!
We have lost a good handful of people! Some names I barely recognised having come into the group only a couple of days before chemo started. 18th Feb... a lifetime ago! I wonder where they went they were all so active and saying how vital the group was! A tad worrying...
Well the plan is get up and start on the fluids now so by the time it’s 10.30 I’ll have peed my own weight! These bloods and needles are just getting trickier and trickier...
Had a welcome surprise last night, my aunt called and said she’s up north somewhere birdwatching and she and my uncle are going to come on Saturday on their way back. They did this last year about the same time as I remember all the flowers in the garden were out (name escapes me I’ll take a photo later someone will know!) and they’re out again now. Oh for it to be last year again!
Right best get on with any and all liquids I can find xx
Hairs and hares today!
Well my day was working all morning, junk food and charity shops all afternoon! Cap day today I feel so much better in my hats.
Bestie found a fab Adidas top for me which was perfect and got another couple of things. Should’ve done more work but hey ho.
Ive not really looked at supplements and stuff as my oncologist said avoid everything during chemo.
The wig looks great MBJ. I think my hair loss has slowed down a little. Not really looked to see if it’s trying to grow back!
Need to get up early to drink my weight in water before my bloods at 10.30 tomorrow. Nearly time for T...
it's not the gelatine - it's the fact it's from fish - I don't eat fish either....
Thanks for the tip re Healthspan, Paulus - this looks promising?:
Rosina, the tattoos are tiny wee dots ( 3 of them) so the radiotherapy beams can be lined up.....to be honest I can't even see them.....
implausible...I'm veggie too..and you can get the gelatine free capsules no probs...
sonia....you have so much hair!!! Xxx