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How can I help my Mum

7 REPLIES 7
Member

Re: How can I help my Mum

Prayers and best wishes to your mum.

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Community Champion

Re: How can I help my Mum

Best wishes to you and your Mum ,hoping her surgery goes well on Wednesday .

Member

Re: How can I help my Mum

Hi Jill

 

My Mum was also diagnosed with breast cancer with metastasis of the lymph also she has Parkinson disease so not easy at all. it is heartbreaking to see your hard working always energetic Mum suffering and getting weaker day by day. She is over the 6 chemos and hopefully the surgery will be this Wednesday. with my sister we escorted her to all of the chemo, we were cooking her favorites even she did not eat just a bit but it is important to eat healthy stuff and what she likes. It is very tough especially that it is a long 'journey' and a healthy person can get angry why she is not better by now. You will need patience and need to find some program which fills you up because you need to show her the confidence that everything will be ok, she cannot give it up. Try to make her laugh as much as possible because they say laugh is a cure itself. Take care and wish you all the best! 

Community Champion

Re: How can I help my Mum

What a lovely helpful post Phoenix15 - welcome to the forum .

Member

Re: How can I help my Mum

Dear Thrummiekid

 

having gone through the same chemo, I can reflect upon what help would have been appreciated but remember also, that everyone's experiences may be different.

 

As I was working full-time prior to my BC, I am the only family member that drives, indeed, I was the chauffeur for them at weekends or evenings. So, if you can drive, when you can, maybe help drive your Mum to appointments or other places she needs to be. I had to drive myself to chemo each time with sick bags at the ready....sometimes I didn't know how on earth I did so.

 

Many ladies in the other posts will give you plenty of ideas about 'care packages' such as lip balms, skin creams, etc so I won't expand on those ideas.

 

What I WOULD have loved was some practical help. By chemo 4, I was on my knees with depleted energy, sickness, etc. The ironing mounds built up, my bed sheets needed changing, my small, overgrown garden needed help and just, simply, practical jobs which one normally undertakes with ease may not be possible for your Mum.

 

She may get mouth ulcers and most certainly her taste of food may change. Best I can describe it is like chewing on gloopy cardboard. My nausea throughout chemo was horrendous. Even aromas I loved previously, I couldn't tolerate. Your Mum can see a Dietician at the hospital if she struggles with food who can advise and give you printed sheets of what could help or be tolerated. Small snacks, high energy, gentle on the mouth, sometimes sweet or spicy if the mouth ulcers calm. Your Mum's tastes may also change and fluctuate throughout chemo. On a bad day, I could just about keep down a bowl of soup but it was better than nothing. On other days, I couldn't even bear the thought of the same soup. Bread, potatoes, etc, starch laden foods merely stuck in my mouth so those were vanquished too. Lemon based drinks helped as did chunks of pineapple. My taste didn't return until just recently; 5 months after the chemo.

 

MOST of all, your Mum will truly appreciate you by her side; understanding, loving and patient. Lower any expectations of her, be well informed about how she may feel both emotionally and physically and when she needs to rest, tuck her up gently and hold her hand. When she needs 'alone time', allow her that too. Listen, observe and just be there for her whenever you can...but not to the detriment of overloading yourself with stress. Pace yourself. Organise others to pop in to see her. Advise them not to just sit there with a cup of tea quoting a Google or the latest miracle cure! 

 

Sending much love love and care. It's time to put the Boudica head on now with copious strength, love and eventual healing. I'm so glad you're there for your Mum. Xxx

 

 

Member

Re: How can I help my Mum

Thank you will do x

Community Champion

Re: How can I help my Mum

Hi thrummiekid,

You sound like a fab daughter, btw.

I didn't need chemo so can't advise, but do look at the 'chemotherapy' thread in 'going through treatment,' as it tends to be quieter on this board. The ladies there will be happy to advise you on this & there have been previous threads on a similar theme.

Wishing your mum well & maybe she would like to join the forum as well, especially the monthly chemo threads.

ann x

 

Member

How can I help my Mum

My mum had grade 3 breast cancer, they operated and have managed to remove it all, however because it is a cancer that grows on its own, she is having to have FEC -T.  It starts this Thursday.  How can i best help her get through this.  What things will I need to look out for, how will she be feeling etc.  Thank you in advance.  x