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How do you control the fear and anxiety of waiting


Re: How do you control the fear and anxiety of waiting

There's  a lovely pie chart I've seen about things you worry and are anxious about- huge slice, things that actually happen tiny slice. Having said that it would be far more concerning if you weren't  worried. I have found various mp3s have been a boon , you tube also. As for being tetchy with family just apologise and don't feel guilty. They will cope. Waiting is the worst part. Once you have a plan of action things feel better. 


Re: How do you control the fear and anxiety of waiting

Thanks so much for your kind reply. I will look up your suggestions. 

I've now had a core biopsy and will have the results next week.

Feeling more settled today though I guess as results day draws closer anxiety will return. Trying to distract myself and keep busy until I know for sure what's going on. 


Re: How do you control the fear and anxiety of waiting

Hi Poppy


I want to give you a big hug - it sounds like Dr Google has grabbed another victim. It’s too late to say don’t google because you’ll probably scare yourself. Just remember not all the sources you looked at may be reliable and you, as a lay person, may not interpret even the most reliable information in the right way. Every case is different and stats don’t necessarily mean anything in the wrong hands.


It sounds to me like your consultant is taking every precaution to be absolutely sure of your diagnosis - better than jumping to conclusions. That doesn’t mean you have bc as there are many other reasons for breast changes but maybe you do have it. You’ll see from all of us here that, horrid though it is, it’s manageable (I couldn’t have said that a year ago).


You have some tests tomorrow. I suggest you take some questions with you (but be sure you want the answers. I chose deliberate ignorance all the way through and still couldn’t tell you the details of my particular cancer. It was the only way I could cope). You may not get all the answers - they may not have the authority, the tests may require detailed analysis - but you may get some reassurance about what they are looking for. 


As for the anxiety, I am a master of this. Probably the most useful thing for me was something I turned to in desperation: YouTube! There are hypnotherapy recordings, binaural beats, all sorts to help you relax and I thought nothing could help me but they do. My favourite is a woman (Progressive Hypnosis) who can soothe me to sleep almost every time. It’s way better than turning to the bottle or the pills. There’s also no shame in consulting your GP.


Good luck and I hope you get a clear diagnosis.



How do you control the fear and anxiety of waiting

I found an indentation three weeks ago and saw a consultant last Monday. He's very experienced which felt good at first but I then felt he was trying to prepare me for bad news in the words he used. I had a mammogram then was asked to go back so they could repeat it. I also had an ultrasound. Neither he nor I could feel a lump and nothing showed on the ultrasound. He described the mammograms as inconclusive. Not sure what to make of that. I'm having a tomosynthesis this week and have been told they might do a biopsy and maybe an mri. At first I thought if nothing big had shown up the worst case would be it's early and small but having read more I now realise that may not be the case at all.

My original optimism and sense of relative calm has been replaced by the worst anxiety I've ever known. I feel totally consumed by worry and have hardly slept in days. I'm finding myself irrational and irritable with my partner and children who are doing their best to be positive and optimistic. I've just got this gut wrenching feeling it's going to be bad news.

I am trying to keep busy but failing miserably to keep the fear at bay for long.

Not knowing feels harder than knowing because at least I would know what it was....I realise I may be totally wrong about this and a diagnosis might actually feel so much worse.

Has anyone any advice on how to get through the waiting and how to not be impossible to be around for those we love who are going through this with us?